View of Fawlty Towers not included

September 9, 2006 9:55 AM

Attention lovers of privacy & salt air! This island, the house on top of it, and the bridge connecting it to the mainland are all on sale for a mere 750,000 pounds.
posted by jonson (44 comments total)

I am so making that my headquarters when I blackmail the governments of the world.
posted by DragonBoy at 9:58 AM on September 9, 2006

if you blackmail them for one millllion dollars, you'd have almost enough to buy the place!
posted by jonson at 10:04 AM on September 9, 2006

You can also buy Piel Island with its 14th Century Piel Castle, the Grade II listed Ship Inn and six former coastguard cottages. And you will be a King. POA.
posted by tellurian at 10:06 AM on September 9, 2006

I didn't know my dad was selling up.
posted by A189Nut at 10:15 AM on September 9, 2006

Brochure from the estate agents available here.
posted by essexjan at 10:23 AM on September 9, 2006

Plenty more private islands are for sale at your one-stop private island sales site.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:35 AM on September 9, 2006

"We did have rave parties," she said. "But we complained and the police and local authority have tackled the problem robustly."

She says that like they had roaches or lice.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:45 AM on September 9, 2006

I wonder if they get Fresh Direct...
posted by DenOfSizer at 10:46 AM on September 9, 2006

It would be cool.. if I already lived in Newquay, Cornwall UK. Every town/community has its "private island dream house", but not all that dramatic.
posted by stbalbach at 10:52 AM on September 9, 2006

"Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is once said to have stayed there." So, if someone says something once, it becomes history?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 11:14 AM on September 9, 2006

Okay--what's that place doing for water? A well wouldn't work from what I can see, and if it did, it would be salt water.

So watcha gonna use to flush your toilet, Mr. Rich Island Owner?
posted by bardic at 11:15 AM on September 9, 2006

Yes but does the bridge retract and does it include cauldrons for boiling oil? The neighbor kids are going to finally get what's coming to them.
posted by nathan_teske at 11:24 AM on September 9, 2006

bardic, surely it must have its own consumer-sized desalinization plant hidden somewhere offsite!
posted by danb at 11:31 AM on September 9, 2006

Whuh, your private island home didn't come with murder holes? I had them installed when I put in the sex swing.
posted by bardic at 11:35 AM on September 9, 2006

Meh...I want palm trees, a lighthouse, a 100 seat restaurant, and most of all, a motor on my Floating Island...only 5 Million, with financing available !
posted by lobstah at 11:37 AM on September 9, 2006

Okay--what's that place doing for water? A well wouldn't work from what I can see, and if it did, it would be salt water. So watcha gonna use to flush your toilet, Mr. Rich Island Owner?


Myself, I would purchase a steamer, christen her the HMS Rudyard Kipling, send it to the Dutch East Indies and fetch some darkies to wait on my beckoned call. Post haste!

Alas, it's fully serviced.

SERVICES Mains water, drainage and electricity. Oil fired central
heating.
posted by jimmythefish at 11:38 AM on September 9, 2006

bardic,

Heated sand? Those cruel bastards!
posted by jimmythefish at 11:39 AM on September 9, 2006

bardic : "So watcha gonna use to flush your toilet, Mr. Rich Island Owner?"

The blood of the servants.
posted by Bugbread at 11:42 AM on September 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

I put murderholes in my basement, for when the molemen get uppity.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:42 AM on September 9, 2006

Seriously, I don't have an island home. You guys are welcome to come over and splash around in my pool this afternoon, however. I just need to get it inflated.
posted by bardic at 11:49 AM on September 9, 2006

Bah. You can pick up Islands in Canada for practically peanuts.
posted by empatterson at 1:00 PM on September 9, 2006

What says the sign on the right hand precipice--in the bridge picture?
posted by zorro astor at 2:05 PM on September 9, 2006

my beckoned call

I though the phrase was my beck and call. Have I been wrong all these years?
posted by dobbs at 2:19 PM on September 9, 2006

Nope, it's beck and call.
posted by Bugbread at 2:56 PM on September 9, 2006

Confusing. I read this too quickly and thought it said, "Attention lovers of PIRACY & salt air!"

Imagine my disappointment when I clicked on the link.
posted by jeanmari at 3:15 PM on September 9, 2006

Beck and call? Really?
posted by jimmythefish at 3:33 PM on September 9, 2006

Yeah, both at my beck, and at my call. Promise you.
posted by jonson at 3:39 PM on September 9, 2006

Hmmm...turns out I was wrong after all. Crap.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:40 PM on September 9, 2006

Though it's always been somewhat poetic, I think, the idea of being able to beckon a call.
posted by koeselitz at 3:44 PM on September 9, 2006

In fact, I know what I will do. I will buy this island, and I will say "beckoned call" and have "rave parties" all day long, and no one will be able to stop me.
posted by koeselitz at 3:45 PM on September 9, 2006

I will stop you. I shall take my axe and begin chopping at the base of your island, and when my well-chopped hole is large enough I shall cup my hands around my mouth and shout "IIIIIIIISLAAAAAAAAAND!" to warn any people nearby, and your island shall tip forward into the sea. Then you and your beaconed raver friends will be well and truly stopped.

And then I shall unleash the CHUDs upon you, and raze your villages, and hear the lamentations of your women.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:56 PM on September 9, 2006 [1 favorite]

Isn't it Aye Land?
posted by jimmythefish at 4:30 PM on September 9, 2006

Wha...? Ayn Rand?
posted by koeselitz at 4:36 PM on September 9, 2006

ROU_Xenophobe++++ for the Conan/CHUD hybrid reference
posted by jonson at 4:48 PM on September 9, 2006

*points at Lilly Tomlin*

Hey, look! It's the kid who said IS-LAND!
posted by Smart Dalek at 5:16 PM on September 9, 2006

I shall buy the island, and I shall name it Dejah's View.
posted by dejah420 at 8:09 PM on September 9, 2006

[groans]
posted by five fresh fish at 8:38 PM on September 9, 2006

well, THAT's no way to get invited to Dejah's private island, fff!
posted by jonson at 11:10 PM on September 9, 2006

Maybe fff is already on Dejah's "private island," if you know what I mean. And it's a different kind of groan for grown-ups.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:23 PM on September 9, 2006

Christ, you'd think they could muster up more than four fucking tiny-ass photographs for the online "brochure", don't you?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 3:00 AM on September 10, 2006

`"Sir Arthur Conan Doyle is once said to have stayed there." So, if someone says something once, it becomes history?'

It's a rather more flexible use of "once", as in "people once said there were dragons in England" or "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a known friend of the owners of the island when both he and they were alive, so people said he visited them - but any evidence for such is minimal at best and the journalist can't be bothered to look it up anyway".
posted by Auz at 3:38 AM on September 10, 2006

I can't imagine a better place to own an island, in the UK, than Cornwall. But there are plenty better places outside the UK. I knew one for sale decades ago, in Canada. Lovely place, but a major nesting ground for the seagulls. It was off the shores of Manitoulin Island, SE from Little Current (in the mouth of Sheguinda bay...spelling likely off, names are correct).
posted by Goofyy at 7:19 AM on September 10, 2006

I wonder if Pizza Hut delivers.
posted by deborah at 10:06 AM on September 10, 2006

I remember seeing that place as a child and thinking how cool it would be to live up there.

But as an adult I can't imaging anywhere I'd less like to be. Newquay is the last place any self-respecting Cornish native would want to end up - the place is a seething tourist hellhole for half the year, and a cold wet ghost town the rest of the time.

Not that Cornwall isn't a pirate-tastic place in all other respects of course....
posted by popkinson at 11:12 AM on September 10, 2006