I read until my eyes exploded

October 24, 2006 8:45 PM

SF writers only use six words. A collection of six word epics from the cream of contemporary SF writers. Can Mefi do better? I reckon!
posted by Sparx (357 comments total)

aaah suberb. gracias gracias
posted by infini at 8:51 PM on October 24, 2006

Joss Whedon, you are my hero.
posted by Sandor Clegane at 8:52 PM on October 24, 2006

buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo
posted by H. Roark at 8:58 PM on October 24, 2006

God spoke.
"WHAT??"
(I'm deaf.)
Fuck.
posted by rob511 at 9:00 PM on October 24, 2006

excellent. utterly excellent.

Perhaps:

[In] The beginning was God. The end --
posted by kalimac at 9:05 PM on October 24, 2006

"The world ended, but with money..."

Shit, that's no good. Start over...
posted by Navelgazer at 9:05 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Nice one, Stross.

Myself, I like "very very short stories". Check out "Pact with the Devil" if you ever get the chance.
posted by dreamsign at 9:05 PM on October 24, 2006

"It's time," she said. I sighed.
posted by Shecky at 9:06 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

Starlet sex scandal. Giant squid involved.
- Margaret Atwood

Perhaps the greatest thing Atwood ever wrote!
posted by Robot Johnny at 9:07 PM on October 24, 2006

Only you can prevent anal probes.
I found aliens in my pants.
The devils hands are not manicured.
Time stands still for only hiro.
God pooped. And welcome to Mississippi.
A spaceship needs a captain. KAHN!
Love. War. Peace. Only in Space.
Sex is only free in space.
posted by Derek at 9:07 PM on October 24, 2006

At first I thought the FPP meant that the stories only use a selection of six words, kinda like Dr. Seuss. Still entertaining, though I've yet to see something better than The Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den.
posted by greatgefilte at 9:07 PM on October 24, 2006

Margaret Atwood rules.

Although, cream? Shatner, cream? I'd balk at even calling him a writer.
posted by QIbHom at 9:08 PM on October 24, 2006

Intent counts. It's why we listened.
posted by cgc373 at 9:09 PM on October 24, 2006

The sin? Goo. Larry, it y...
Meat deprecated. All hail new flesh!
Bombs fall, AI launch: cleansing fire.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:11 PM on October 24, 2006

God doesn't exist. Want some pie?
posted by icosahedral at 9:13 PM on October 24, 2006

that's why if you read closely he says auteurs as well as authors... *smirk* wrt shatner
posted by infini at 9:13 PM on October 24, 2006

Cockroach cluster, anthrax ripple. Mideast war!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:15 PM on October 24, 2006

Shatner an Author? Commence the snark!
posted by Navelgazer at 9:15 PM on October 24, 2006

Once upon a time. The end.
posted by birdsquared at 9:16 PM on October 24, 2006

Christ returns. "What?! Tack him up!"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:18 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

"When he awoke, the dinosaur was still there."
posted by mekanic at 9:18 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

... an american citizen! You can't-BLAM!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:19 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Underestimating the audience, Whedon adds exposition.
posted by dobbs at 9:20 PM on October 24, 2006

Improved Soylent. Now 30% post-consumer content.
posted by boaz at 9:22 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Pluto unplanet? Sentient iceball devours Earth!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:23 PM on October 24, 2006

"You shouldn't be here."
"I know."
posted by Kronoss at 9:23 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

The greatest story ever told was:
Down three to Yanks, Sox win.
posted by ibmcginty at 9:24 PM on October 24, 2006

Hero journeys, returns. Lessons are learned.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:24 PM on October 24, 2006

"You ain't from here, are ya?"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:25 PM on October 24, 2006

Thread posted. Mefite wannabe writers rejoice!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:26 PM on October 24, 2006

This is Ellen Ripley, signing off.
posted by brownpau at 9:27 PM on October 24, 2006

"So where's the twist?" asked Rover.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:27 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

oh my god, i think I ....
posted by infini at 9:27 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"
posted by zardoz at 9:28 PM on October 24, 2006

Missile Defense Shield Busted: "Bye Canada!"
posted by Ricky_gr10 at 9:28 PM on October 24, 2006

"My balls!" shouted the president. "Balls!"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:29 PM on October 24, 2006

Short stories? Need fewer typewriter monkeys.
posted by FritoKAL at 9:30 PM on October 24, 2006

I'm quite sure it's not loaded ...
posted by Bookhouse at 9:31 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Six word story? "Impossible," he decided.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:31 PM on October 24, 2006 [3 favorites]

Ignorance strength, war peace: Miller time!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:31 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

There is an afterlife? Well goddammit...
posted by arruns at 9:34 PM on October 24, 2006

Eschaton immanentized, gods materialize, fan beshitted.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:35 PM on October 24, 2006 [3 favorites]

At midnight, the unplugged telephone rang.
posted by Justinian at 9:35 PM on October 24, 2006 [6 favorites]

Stately, plump Buck falls down stairs.
posted by nasreddin at 9:35 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

He saw. He came. She conquered.
posted by Bookhouse at 9:35 PM on October 24, 2006

God castigated believers; but too late.
posted by ibmcginty at 9:36 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Cory Doctorow's entry: vomit on myself
posted by Falconetti at 9:37 PM on October 24, 2006

Pausing midstroke, he noticed the sirens.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:37 PM on October 24, 2006 [3 favorites]

Thousands of comments. I scrolled forever.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:37 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

She never saw that platypus again.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:39 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

Are those Elder Gods? "Don't eat...!"
posted by solid-one-love at 9:39 PM on October 24, 2006

Begin Inn muddle; Aunt Thea's end.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:41 PM on October 24, 2006

Love lost, subsequently found. (Needs padding.)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:41 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

Humanity's over. Somewhere, a telephone rings.
posted by Iridic at 9:41 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

My heart to you, unending poetic.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 9:42 PM on October 24, 2006

Lo love the these thank thanks
posted by squirrel at 9:42 PM on October 24, 2006

War hell, civilian boredom. Clock tower!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:42 PM on October 24, 2006 [5 favorites]

science fiction writers celebrate clumsy sentences.
posted by dydecker at 9:43 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: neural mainline turned me blue
posted by eritain at 9:43 PM on October 24, 2006

Dydecker poops on thread. Hang him!
posted by Justinian at 9:44 PM on October 24, 2006

Peak oil, long pork. American century.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:44 PM on October 24, 2006

I'm not good at writing haiku.
posted by milnak at 9:45 PM on October 24, 2006

"No strings attached," the Devil promised.
posted by Iridic at 9:45 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

what the hell was that about?
posted by infini at 9:45 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Grey goo. Send mop. Feet melting.
posted by loquacious at 9:46 PM on October 24, 2006

"Careful with that axe, Eugene!" "What?"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:47 PM on October 24, 2006

shared culture provides reference for story
posted by infini at 9:47 PM on October 24, 2006

"Voom!" What was that? "Life, mate."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:47 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

A mown lawn: the lawn moans.
posted by Falconetti at 9:48 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Gangsta alien drive-by. Three cockroaches remain.
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 9:48 PM on October 24, 2006

do I know you? she said
posted by infini at 9:48 PM on October 24, 2006

ed, I think that's cheating summarizing stories rather than writing your own mini-opuseses. Boo!
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:48 PM on October 24, 2006

infinity's children in the human playground
posted by infini at 9:49 PM on October 24, 2006

Ed? who are you? really?
posted by infini at 9:50 PM on October 24, 2006

My first step. All downhill now.
posted by Holy foxy moxie batman! at 9:50 PM on October 24, 2006

Expelled from the hivemind? Me?-Dammit!
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:50 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

wonderchicken chastizes ed; ticking package arrives.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:51 PM on October 24, 2006

I just lost the game. Again.
posted by trinarian at 9:51 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

wtf? is that one word or...
posted by infini at 9:51 PM on October 24, 2006

Horton Hears a Hoo. Asylum Bound.
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 9:52 PM on October 24, 2006

roflmao, as they say on the internets
posted by infini at 9:53 PM on October 24, 2006

He was such an idiot, amused.
posted by infini at 9:54 PM on October 24, 2006

Fingers catch the cadence, type on.
posted by anotherpanacea at 9:55 PM on October 24, 2006

OMG, I have an audience, shoot.
posted by infini at 9:57 PM on October 24, 2006

Brain surgery, home kit, big mistake.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:57 PM on October 24, 2006

no way, without degree, or residency?
posted by infini at 9:58 PM on October 24, 2006

I think I will start blogging
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 9:59 PM on October 24, 2006

Arboria burning, Flash dead: Ming triumphant.
posted by gamera at 9:59 PM on October 24, 2006

Memory failing. Unfinished autobiography left...
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 9:59 PM on October 24, 2006

They met, fucked, fought, reunited heartwarmingly.
posted by ibmcginty at 9:59 PM on October 24, 2006

Sufficiently advanced magic indistinguishable: Abracadabra Wi-fi.
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:00 PM on October 24, 2006

Holy Shit! This hat is cursed!
posted by Navelgazer at 10:00 PM on October 24, 2006

With only six words, punctuation's everything.
posted by anotherpanacea at 10:01 PM on October 24, 2006

ym ewn ivntetonin: het wrod srbecamlr!
posted by Falconetti at 10:03 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

I wonder what this button does?
posted by gamera at 10:05 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

He flagged it and moved on.
posted by Kwantsar at 10:05 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Telepathy's more boring than you'd think.
posted by Iridic at 10:15 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Finally their lips touched, unleasing armageddon.
posted by aubilenon at 10:16 PM on October 24, 2006

shit, unleashing.
posted by aubilenon at 10:16 PM on October 24, 2006

Winsome won't cut it anymore. Genuflect.
posted by cgc373 at 10:23 PM on October 24, 2006

Allow me to break with me mold here and just point out that this FPP totally reconfirms my deep undenying love of Whedon (silly), Miller (kinda what I expected), Sterling (neat), O’Bannon (awesome), Smith (who the fuck is kirby?) Harrison (my personal hero), Stephenson (huh?) and Gibson (all political and shit).

Oh and Hemingway seems to have had some chops as well.

God to Earth: “Cry more, noobs!”
- Marc Laidlaw

I don't know who this is, but based on that statement, I will be finding out shortly.

And as far as I'm concerned, the penultimate six word statement has already been written, the one that sums it all up for me, the one that I have embraced as a personal Ideology:

It was a pleasure to burn
posted by quin at 10:23 PM on October 24, 2006

Their lips leased Armageddon, Da Vinci–style.
posted by cgc373 at 10:25 PM on October 24, 2006

Though if I may try my own...

Zombies love brains. Shotguns discourage that.
posted by quin at 10:26 PM on October 24, 2006

I see everything now. So small.
posted by cgc373 at 10:27 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

I haven't smiled since she died.
posted by danb at 10:28 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

I'm especially fond of grammatical sentences.
posted by aubilenon at 10:32 PM on October 24, 2006

"This statement is false." said Gödel.
posted by benign at 10:34 PM on October 24, 2006

Why are you all so sad?
posted by anarcation at 10:35 PM on October 24, 2006

These pretzels are making me thirsty.
posted by funkbrain at 10:39 PM on October 24, 2006

I believe you have my stapler.
posted by erniepan at 10:40 PM on October 24, 2006

No. Chicken goes inside the duck.
posted by kosem at 10:40 PM on October 24, 2006

My hovercraft is full of eels.
posted by funkbrain at 10:40 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

No! Not that! You're all mad!
posted by loquacious at 10:41 PM on October 24, 2006

Metafilter makes me laugh. A bit.
posted by zekinskia at 10:42 PM on October 24, 2006

Blackhole. Cheerios. Waist decreasing, mass increasing.
posted by loquacious at 10:45 PM on October 24, 2006

What the... Three breasts? Oh, OK.
posted by loquacious at 10:45 PM on October 24, 2006

My God! It's full of stars!
posted by loquacious at 10:49 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

[penultimate is the second to last]
posted by exlotuseater at 10:51 PM on October 24, 2006

Her tragic lie: "I love you."
posted by kyleg at 10:51 PM on October 24, 2006

I type six words.

CRAP!
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 10:53 PM on October 24, 2006

Snakes, on a plane? Mother fucker.
posted by quin at 10:56 PM on October 24, 2006

This broom, it vibrates? Motherfucker!
posted by quin at 10:58 PM on October 24, 2006

We have cameras. Mother fucker?
posted by quin at 10:59 PM on October 24, 2006

Words never are enough, he wrote.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:01 PM on October 24, 2006

Dangling from the rope, unanswered questions.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:02 PM on October 24, 2006

in ur base killin ur d00dz.


sorry
posted by logicpunk at 11:02 PM on October 24, 2006

exlotuseater stole 'penultimate' from my comment.
posted by quin at 11:04 PM on October 24, 2006

The last star burned gloriously into oblivion.
posted by onalark at 11:05 PM on October 24, 2006

Trade you! My clone, your robot.
posted by Iridic at 11:06 PM on October 24, 2006

And then God became very dizzy.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:06 PM on October 24, 2006

Nobody knew bananas considered us food.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:07 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

exlotuseater is right. I'm an idiot.
posted by quin at 11:07 PM on October 24, 2006

The smartest ones left very quietly.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:08 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Shockingly, comets did want to vote.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:09 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Finally we ate shit, not good.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:10 PM on October 24, 2006

stavrosthewonderchicken lived up to his potential.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:12 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

dude fucked a watermelon, normally childless.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:13 PM on October 24, 2006

Finally the oblivion machine started working.
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:15 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

This is mass madness, you maniacs.
posted by stinkycheese at 11:15 PM on October 24, 2006

I puked. A lot. It sucked.
posted by quin at 11:16 PM on October 24, 2006

A crime for Llewllyn: He lied.
posted by loquacious at 11:18 PM on October 24, 2006

Girl, war, crown, everything, nothing, death.
posted by blacklite at 11:18 PM on October 24, 2006

It was easy to finish them.
posted by cgc373 at 11:19 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Not so funny meow, is it?
posted by dreamsign at 11:19 PM on October 24, 2006

Nothing to see here, move along...
posted by Cranberry at 11:19 PM on October 24, 2006

"Hey y'all, watch this!" he said.
posted by moonbiter at 11:20 PM on October 24, 2006

Nukes. Only way to be sure.
posted by cgc373 at 11:20 PM on October 24, 2006

Q: What is your favorite pastime?
A: Holocaust.
posted by four panels at 11:21 PM on October 24, 2006

Gather ye rosebuds. Do it now.
posted by cgc373 at 11:21 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Not original, I know, but I love the classics.
posted by moonbiter at 11:22 PM on October 24, 2006

Nobody ever regretted pushing the button?
posted by Divine_Wino at 11:23 PM on October 24, 2006

(whispered)
"Are they gone yet?"





















No.
posted by cgc373 at 11:23 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

I waited but you never came.
posted by four panels at 11:25 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

didn't print Gibson, online only? WEAK.
posted by delmoi at 11:25 PM on October 24, 2006

The headline read "Metafilter's 100th anniversary."
posted by moonbiter at 11:26 PM on October 24, 2006

Mutant survives nuclear holocaust. Hilarity ensues!
posted by aubilenon at 11:27 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

Ass, man?
Ass man?
Ass man!
posted by stinkycheese at 11:27 PM on October 24, 2006

Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Boom!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:29 PM on October 24, 2006

He lingered. And then quietly fell.
posted by jmhodges at 11:30 PM on October 24, 2006

A man, a plan, a... damn!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:30 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

She began as the end began.
posted by four panels at 11:31 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

The drugs ran out and he
posted by four panels at 11:33 PM on October 24, 2006

Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:33 PM on October 24, 2006

This was the proverbial moment. The world was stacked against us, but no one in the room cared. She had a knife, I had a gun. We both knew that this was it. We were going to leave this place as heroes or victims. And at the end of the day, there wasn't much difference between the two. I could see a cop on the street demanding that we come out. I grabbed a guy and put my pistol to his head. "This will end badly," I told him. "when the shooting starts, run."

And then we stepped outside.

I didn't want it to go this way, but I killed the cop that killed her. So I guess I won.

Then the bullets hit me and I stopped caring about anything.

I guess I won.
posted by quin at 11:34 PM on October 24, 2006

One last kiss... ah, forget it.
posted by aubilenon at 11:35 PM on October 24, 2006

together we ran away from another
posted by four panels at 11:35 PM on October 24, 2006

It wasn't his time, not yet.
posted by papakwanz at 11:36 PM on October 24, 2006

Oh, her pink has turned blue.
posted by four panels at 11:36 PM on October 24, 2006

She did not die. Not ever.
posted by alasdair at 11:36 PM on October 24, 2006 [2 favorites]

He hoped onehundredninetyfour comments meant gifs.
posted by casconed at 11:36 PM on October 24, 2006

He colored outside the lines. Bastard.
posted by papakwanz at 11:36 PM on October 24, 2006

Silly exercise. What does it prove?
posted by papakwanz at 11:37 PM on October 24, 2006

Luke, I am your father. No!
posted by papakwanz at 11:38 PM on October 24, 2006

I just sold the movie rights.
posted by papakwanz at 11:38 PM on October 24, 2006

E.T. Phone home? Shit, busy signal.
posted by papakwanz at 11:39 PM on October 24, 2006

(or, "voice mail.")
posted by papakwanz at 11:40 PM on October 24, 2006

She fucked all night. Morning crushed.
posted by four panels at 11:40 PM on October 24, 2006

I'm so hungover... I did WHAT?!
posted by papakwanz at 11:41 PM on October 24, 2006

Bad wine, throw it on me.
posted by four panels at 11:41 PM on October 24, 2006 [1 favorite]

No more stories, time for bed.
posted by papakwanz at 11:41 PM on October 24, 2006

Stop your heart, I'm only kidding.
posted by four panels at 11:42 PM on October 24, 2006

Wake up, we're not going anywhere.
posted by four panels at 11:44 PM on October 24, 2006

Her delicate balance bosom bosom career.
posted by four panels at 11:51 PM on October 24, 2006

Oh God, not on me: shhhh.
posted by four panels at 11:52 PM on October 24, 2006

Suddenly -- a fish in my pants!
posted by Krrrlson at 11:53 PM on October 24, 2006

Explosive compression unlocks neutron cascade, annihilation.
posted by metaplectic at 12:00 AM on October 25, 2006

Radiant phantasmagoras descended earthward, devouring souls.
posted by metaplectic at 12:00 AM on October 25, 2006

God's name? Enumerate possibilities! Stars disappear.
posted by metaplectic at 12:01 AM on October 25, 2006

Supernova extinguished sentients, guiding three sages.
posted by metaplectic at 12:01 AM on October 25, 2006

IM IN UR... ah, fuck it.
posted by bunglin jones at 12:16 AM on October 25, 2006

Agree with Delmoi. Gibson's too political? !!!
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 12:22 AM on October 25, 2006

8 minutes without comment. New Record.
posted by Sir BoBoMonkey Pooflinger Esquire III at 12:30 AM on October 25, 2006

The lie was just too... burdensome.
posted by team lowkey at 12:33 AM on October 25, 2006

Opened Metafilter. Read thread. Brain hurts.
posted by Luddite at 12:50 AM on October 25, 2006

but all we ever did was ...
posted by infini at 12:51 AM on October 25, 2006

"Honey..." "Don't touch me!" she shrieked.
posted by metaplectic at 12:54 AM on October 25, 2006

Rebublicans hold majority. Suck it Libs.

//horror
posted by Osmanthus at 1:01 AM on October 25, 2006

can't stop. this is bat country.
posted by carsonb at 1:05 AM on October 25, 2006

King's ghost caused fatal procrastinatory madness.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:08 AM on October 25, 2006

He cried, "d00d, ch3ck y0uR Sp311i|\|g"
posted by thecaddy at 1:36 AM on October 25, 2006

It really tied the room together.
posted by dreamsign at 1:42 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

In dreams begins responsibilities, and ends.
posted by cgc373 at 2:05 AM on October 25, 2006

We are sorry for the inconvenience!
posted by TwoWordReview at 2:30 AM on October 25, 2006

Word shortage. People resort to sesquipidalianism.
posted by Hogshead at 3:15 AM on October 25, 2006

I came. I saw. I left.
posted by wendell at 3:32 AM on October 25, 2006

Nothing was quite what we expected.
posted by wendell at 3:32 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Time heals all wounds... too slowly.
posted by wendell at 3:33 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Happened again. But not like before.
posted by wendell at 3:34 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Night of passion, followed by Cheerios.
posted by wendell at 3:35 AM on October 25, 2006

She never existed; I miss her.
posted by wendell at 3:37 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

No one expected the spinach inquisition.
posted by wendell at 3:40 AM on October 25, 2006

I didn't promise miracles. Well, one.
posted by wendell at 3:41 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Life was short, but surprisingly pleasant.
posted by wendell at 3:43 AM on October 25, 2006

"Don't touch!" in all languages. *Poke*.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:56 AM on October 25, 2006

He promised. She's waiting. It's loaded.
posted by melissa may at 3:57 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Six word "stories" were never cool.
posted by public at 4:53 AM on October 25, 2006

The Simpsons did it in five:

"Linguo dead?"

"Linguo is dead."
posted by furtive at 5:03 AM on October 25, 2006

You've got to be kidding? No.
posted by furtive at 5:04 AM on October 25, 2006

I'm always late to the thread.
posted by Mach5 at 5:04 AM on October 25, 2006

The abortion failed. There was more.
posted by furtive at 5:05 AM on October 25, 2006

He got the raise. She didn't.
posted by furtive at 5:07 AM on October 25, 2006

Judgement was slow. Punishment was swift.
posted by furtive at 5:12 AM on October 25, 2006

He conjured Mephistopheles and tragedy ensued.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:15 AM on October 25, 2006

... and they lived happily ever after!
posted by Mach5 at 5:16 AM on October 25, 2006

Why me? WHY ME! Shhh. Soon.
posted by furtive at 5:17 AM on October 25, 2006

Up through Hell, Purgatory, Heaven... Beatrice!
posted by exlotuseater at 5:17 AM on October 25, 2006

They ate some fruit, ruined everything.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:19 AM on October 25, 2006

Exiled, travelled south, Rama beats Ravana.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:21 AM on October 25, 2006

[common mistake quin; not an idiot]
posted by exlotuseater at 5:26 AM on October 25, 2006

Holocaust: Mice are good, Cats bad.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:27 AM on October 25, 2006

BIG BANG! Then things cool down.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:29 AM on October 25, 2006

[Goethe, Dante, Milton, Valmiki, Spiegelman, Hawking]
posted by exlotuseater at 5:30 AM on October 25, 2006

Let's take off our clothes, Osama.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:33 AM on October 25, 2006

Best. Post. Evar.
Best. Post. Evar.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 5:35 AM on October 25, 2006

I tried to get Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine to run my shortest mystery ever:

. Mr. ?


Translated as: Dot missed her period. Question Mark.

Which, interestingly, is six words.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:55 AM on October 25, 2006 [4 favorites]

While your humiliation intensified, sex died.
posted by Aghast. at 5:57 AM on October 25, 2006

Note to self: Check the safety.
posted by Cyrano at 6:05 AM on October 25, 2006

"Just Married" on a used car.
posted by twirlypen at 6:10 AM on October 25, 2006

He seemed so normal. Why now?
posted by zeoslap at 6:42 AM on October 25, 2006

My penis fell off. Again. Damn.
posted by LordSludge at 6:50 AM on October 25, 2006

[This is really, really, really stupid.]
posted by LordSludge at 6:51 AM on October 25, 2006

Jonestown Condo For Sale; Kool-Aid Included.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:07 AM on October 25, 2006

Why cut myself? Nanobots heal instantly.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:12 AM on October 25, 2006

Hero Ghost: Where To Pin Medal?
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:14 AM on October 25, 2006

M seeking W for possible LTR
posted by bobobox at 7:17 AM on October 25, 2006

Am I in the wrong thread?
posted by bobobox at 7:17 AM on October 25, 2006

Radioactive Squirrels Hide Plutonium Next Door.
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 7:20 AM on October 25, 2006

Your favorite constrained writing style sucks.
posted by erniepan at 7:28 AM on October 25, 2006

Six word fan fiction? Still sucks.
posted by JT at 7:44 AM on October 25, 2006

Metafilter: And then there were five...
posted by AJaffe at 7:45 AM on October 25, 2006

"I want your body." "Let's swap."
posted by Hogshead at 7:49 AM on October 25, 2006

This is my mark on MetaFilter.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:50 AM on October 25, 2006

"Holdin'?"
"Yeah."
"Wanna blaze??"
"No papers."
posted by dead_ at 7:52 AM on October 25, 2006

You blew it up, you maniacs!
posted by papakwanz at 7:56 AM on October 25, 2006

We crashed. No food. Tim's tasty.
posted by papakwanz at 7:57 AM on October 25, 2006

Born, nailed to tree, resurrected. Amen.
posted by papakwanz at 7:58 AM on October 25, 2006

Close to breaking longest thread record?
posted by papakwanz at 8:02 AM on October 25, 2006

Bush lied. People dyed -- their finger.


[sorry]
posted by papakwanz at 8:03 AM on October 25, 2006

Noun, Verb, Direct Object, Indirect Object.

Noun verb. Noun verb. Noun verb.

Series of adjectives, noun, verb. Irony.

Simple statement. Unexpected twist. Hilarity ensues.
posted by papakwanz at 8:09 AM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Nobody else writing? I p0wn thread!
posted by papakwanz at 8:11 AM on October 25, 2006

100 great stories, 6 words each.
1 meta-story, using all 6 words.

Like haiku, but without cherry blossoms.
posted by Mr. Gunn at 8:16 AM on October 25, 2006

Frodo's forbidden love, forbidden no more.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:42 AM on October 25, 2006

The body disposal thread saved jessamyn.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:45 AM on October 25, 2006

The Ages of Man Trilogy

I
Necessity mothers Invention, lactates development cycles.

II
Invention takes a mutant lover, Greed.

III
Invention aborts Future for tax break.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:36 AM on October 25, 2006

New pony creates galactic black hole.

Favorites delay jonson serial killer career.

Ethereal Bligh? Six words? You wish!
posted by y2karl at 9:42 AM on October 25, 2006

This brings to mind Jack McDevitt's short story Cryptic, wherein a man closing down a SETI operation finds a computer disk containing files of encoded transmissions from an interstellar war.
posted by y2karl at 9:45 AM on October 25, 2006

Oops! Wrong thread! My bad!
posted by y2karl at 9:46 AM on October 25, 2006

[+] D'oh!
posted by y2karl at 9:48 AM on October 25, 2006

"Hi.."
"Hi."
"You...?"
"I..."
(crying)
"Yeah."
posted by ORthey at 10:15 AM on October 25, 2006

"Excuse me. Is this your penis?"
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:18 AM on October 25, 2006

Attention span shrank. So did imagination.
posted by Termite at 10:32 AM on October 25, 2006

Crystalline entity’s facets reflect God dimension.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:44 AM on October 25, 2006

"Don't cry."
"But..."
"Oh."
"She's gone."
posted by kalimac at 10:44 AM on October 25, 2006

Talking failed. Moving out. Hug children.

I changed my name back today.

Kids in bed. Time to cry.

/getting too much like haikus, now
posted by lysdexic at 10:45 AM on October 25, 2006

No time to panic. It's over.
posted by banannafish at 10:49 AM on October 25, 2006

Leave me to my opium cave!
posted by Laugh_track at 10:56 AM on October 25, 2006

Vampires immortal on dark side moon.

Gravity vs shield means gravity wins.

Superman came - blows off lois's head.
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2006

The Nova killed everybody. Chevy apologizes.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:58 AM on October 25, 2006

"Why can't people follow the fucking rules?"
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:20 AM on October 25, 2006

Area man starts dating area woman.
Boy: I do. Girl: I do.
More couples working nights than ever
Doctor: "Congratulations, it is a girl."
Then they live happily ever after...
posted by forwebsites at 11:26 AM on October 25, 2006

All your base, are belong to us
posted by forwebsites at 11:40 AM on October 25, 2006

One day, René forgot to be.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:55 AM on October 25, 2006

God forgets condom. Humanity is born.

Damn Dysmenorrhea. Now, to become emperor.
posted by aldurtregi at 12:09 PM on October 25, 2006

alien artifact looms - monkeys invent rockets!
posted by the painkiller at 12:10 PM on October 25, 2006

"where's my soul?" demanded the robot.
posted by the painkiller at 12:13 PM on October 25, 2006

"At long last, President -- oh nevermind."

"Welcome to The Hague, Mr. President!"

"You expected to land in Crawford?

"'Stop'? What?? You made it legal!"
posted by orthogonality at 12:15 PM on October 25, 2006

interstellar war averted. holo at 11.
posted by the painkiller at 12:17 PM on October 25, 2006

clones, wormholes, and lasers, oh my!
posted by the painkiller at 12:17 PM on October 25, 2006

They fought until we all died
posted by Bighappyfunhouse at 1:18 PM on October 25, 2006

Fuck! I hate losing the game.
posted by oddman at 1:23 PM on October 25, 2006

Well, that upped my 'favorited' count.
posted by Sparx at 1:35 PM on October 25, 2006

Eat this pill lest you die.
posted by Mister_A at 1:57 PM on October 25, 2006

All is well that ends. Well...
posted by alikins at 2:05 PM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

Mr. Johnson? Yeah, me too! Cool!
posted by ancientgower at 2:14 PM on October 25, 2006

She'd come around. Pulsars always do.
posted by Freen at 2:21 PM on October 25, 2006

I said Sue?! I meant Sandy...
posted by 6am at 2:36 PM on October 25, 2006

Bekenstein unbound, knew the universe itself.
posted by Freen at 2:36 PM on October 25, 2006

birth discovery begin recovery love death.
posted by 6am at 2:44 PM on October 25, 2006

i feel sad and hurt people.
posted by ambient2 at 2:51 PM on October 25, 2006

They mostly come at night. Mostly.
posted by 6am at 2:51 PM on October 25, 2006

If you read this, it's already...
posted by furtive at 3:25 PM on October 25, 2006

She listened, but also ignored him.
posted by furtive at 3:30 PM on October 25, 2006

His job: to appologize for mankind.
posted by furtive at 3:38 PM on October 25, 2006

The next civilization fared no better.
posted by furtive at 3:43 PM on October 25, 2006

Thankfully, it was all a dream
posted by jodrell banksmeadow at 4:30 PM on October 25, 2006

I didn't know. Guess I should've.
posted by Ugh at 5:17 PM on October 25, 2006

Why am I in this position?
posted by ancientgower at 6:05 PM on October 25, 2006

Spider writes pig's fate. Spider dies.

(sorry...)
posted by ancientgower at 6:07 PM on October 25, 2006

God checks machine. 6.37*10^11 prayers. "Christ."
posted by Physics Package at 7:17 PM on October 25, 2006

Pigs from monkey butts fly forth.
posted by y2karl at 7:57 PM on October 25, 2006

Anything? No. Anything? No. Anything? Ooops.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:06 PM on October 25, 2006

Hey, it was worth a try!
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:09 PM on October 25, 2006

356 comments. One good. Find it.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:10 PM on October 25, 2006

Two weeks later, God hit undo.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:13 PM on October 25, 2006

The giant macaque flung poo, winning.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:17 PM on October 25, 2006

The universe, information; deleted as spam.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:21 PM on October 25, 2006

kingfisher, last man, ignorant, posted on.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:22 PM on October 25, 2006

Internet porn attains sentience. World fucked.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:25 PM on October 25, 2006

Calling him pathetic, his clone gyrated.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:29 PM on October 25, 2006

I was here. Please acknowledge me.
posted by lekvar at 8:31 PM on October 25, 2006

Theworldoninformationhavingbecomesodenseandmuddledandmeaningless,butnonethelessnecessary,spacesareoutlawed.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:31 PM on October 25, 2006

"Wake up! Time to die."
BANG!
posted by lekvar at 8:35 PM on October 25, 2006

Satiated, he watched his flesh regrow.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:36 PM on October 25, 2006

Girlfriend+rockstar+mom+dog = badfuck. Remix.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:39 PM on October 25, 2006

There was only the bed now.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:41 PM on October 25, 2006

Jesus reborn... with Trisomy 21.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:44 PM on October 25, 2006

After death, he returned to work.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:44 PM on October 25, 2006

Apologizing, kingfisher leapt up, forgot gravity.



(that was fun, night, mid travel)
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 8:46 PM on October 25, 2006

Change makes us human beings. Stop.
posted by Football Bat at 10:22 PM on October 25, 2006

Blood's blue. She's here. Blood's red.
posted by Football Bat at 10:30 PM on October 25, 2006

Sign flickers. Detectives come. Unplug toaster.
posted by Football Bat at 10:36 PM on October 25, 2006

George uses "The Google"? We're fucked.
posted by papakwanz at 10:38 PM on October 25, 2006

Dying planet. Spaceship launched. "It's Superman!"
posted by papakwanz at 10:39 PM on October 25, 2006

Parents shot. No therapy. "I'm Batman."
posted by papakwanz at 10:40 PM on October 25, 2006 [1 favorite]

I'm Ishmael. Giant whale. Oh shit.
posted by Football Bat at 10:50 PM on October 25, 2006

Romeo jerks off. Tragedy narrowly averted.
posted by Football Bat at 10:54 PM on October 25, 2006

(a friend of mine came up with this one)

For Sale. One parachute. Never opened.
posted by Paragon at 3:01 AM on October 26, 2006 [1 favorite]

Sign says: "Woo! Stay Away Fools!"
posted by Jofus at 8:48 AM on October 26, 2006

How was the play, Mrs Lincoln?
posted by empath at 10:55 AM on October 26, 2006 [1 favorite]

The end? Over your dead body.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:12 AM on October 26, 2006

Tyre rolls comically from tragic wreck...
posted by Rufus T. Firefly at 11:13 AM on October 26, 2006

Hubcap goes, "Wah. Wahwah. Wahwahwah. Wahwahwahwahwahwahwah..."
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:14 PM on October 26, 2006

Any given despot: "Vidi. Vici. Veni."
posted by lysdexic at 1:05 PM on October 26, 2006

He burst through the door and rolled....aww, dammit!

Wait, no, I got it:
The Don: Don’t start my car.

Two men enter. One man leaves.

Two men enter. Republicans close polls.

Japanese ninja turtles, with Italian names.

NAMBLA? Jesus, no. I meant AARP.

Seriously though, this isn’t a pipe.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:44 PM on October 26, 2006

Luke, you exploded a death star?

Suddenly: penis. Don’t look so shocked.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:50 PM on October 26, 2006

This story's just six words long.
posted by Durhey at 2:10 PM on October 26, 2006

Divorce final, if he'd just sign.

With one snip, Billie was fired.

One hand could beat this. Crap.
posted by filmgeek at 7:45 PM on October 26, 2006

Breathe, love, die, repeat, stop, stop.
posted by Brian B. at 11:18 AM on October 28, 2006

Still going, and going, and going...
posted by papakwanz at 3:59 PM on October 28, 2006

Last Earth human living. A knock came.
posted by squirrel at 7:59 PM on October 29, 2006

Y2karl lasers Squirrel of Seven Words.
posted by y2karl at 8:53 PM on October 29, 2006

Late to party, cortex pulled gun.
posted by cortex at 7:56 AM on October 31, 2006

weapons-grade pandemonium ponders status of hyphens.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:42 AM on October 31, 2006

What's the record for most comments?
posted by anotherpanacea at 9:37 PM on October 31, 2006

April sucks, aridity, datta, dayadhvam, damyata.
posted by exlotuseater at 9:49 PM on October 31, 2006

Articles count? Seen some sevens here.
posted by squirrel at 10:58 PM on October 31, 2006

Wandering, farming, printing, industry, AI-- Singularity.
posted by exlotuseater at 3:23 AM on November 1, 2006