Anna Nicole Smith is Dead
February 8, 2007 12:53 PM Subscribe

News Filter Anna Nicole Smith collapses and dies suddenly.
posted by gigbutt (415 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

lulz, I can't believe you posted this. that's some balls man.
posted by thirteenkiller at 12:54 PM on February 8, 2007

(.)(.)
posted by bondcliff at 12:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [13 favorites]

Truly an American icon...
posted by Steve_at_Linnwood at 12:56 PM on February 8, 2007

Why must the good die so young? Next it's going to be Paris. I can't take it!
posted by mullingitover at 12:56 PM on February 8, 2007

~This is going to be a great thread~
posted by Mister_A at 12:57 PM on February 8, 2007

huh. how about that.
posted by potch at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sureal. Whatever. Wouldn't be surprised it was a hit, she hangs out with and pisses off rich wackos.
posted by bhouston at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007

I have a feeling this is not the kind of help the TrimSpa lawyers were looking for.
posted by OmieWise at 12:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [5 favorites]

Somebody had to post it.

Thankfully, it was not me.

All the same ... it's a pity.

Years ago, back when she was a Guess girl, always in black & white and looking too much like Marilyn Monroe, I had quite a crush. I'm sure I wasn't alone.

But people won't remember that ... too much tabloid-fodder between back then and now.
posted by grabbingsand at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by cell divide at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:59 PM on February 8, 2007 [97 favorites]

Jesus, what balls!
posted by keswick at 1:00 PM on February 8, 2007

I don't actually have a soul. ymmv.
posted by thirteenkiller at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2007

noooooooooooooooooooooo
posted by felix betachat at 1:01 PM on February 8, 2007

.

Sure, her life was a trainwreck, but I've always been strangely fascinated. I vote tragic, not tragicomedy.
posted by kimdog at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Has anyone made a GrimSpa joke yet?
posted by Keane at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

B(.)(.)BIES
posted by Balisong at 1:02 PM on February 8, 2007

She couldn't stand being without her beloved, departed husband.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

in before
TRIMSPA BABY!!!
posted by cavalier at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

dances_with_sneetches writes "Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken."

This is funny as shit, in this particular case, and as an idea in general.
posted by OmieWise at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

I vote good riddance, personally.
posted by keswick at 1:04 PM on February 8, 2007

Someone near me said "Wow, her son and now this! I wonder what's going on." Someone else says "Drugs?" QED
posted by cavalier at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if she left a will.
posted by notyou at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

What a bizarre life that woman led. Who gets all the money now?
posted by Faint of Butt at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

this has much better coverage.
posted by casconed at 1:05 PM on February 8, 2007

She always wanted to be Marilyn.

.
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Flips open lawn chair. Opens beer. Puts popcorn in the microwave.
posted by ericb at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I dunno, ANS has had some problems but it's still too soon to call.
posted by Floydd at 1:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I vote good riddance, personally. -- keswick

Buckaroo Banzai: Hey, hey, hey. Don't be mean. We don't have to be mean because, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.
posted by cavalier at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum."

Think about that, or go back to Fark
posted by indiebass at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

I bet David Blaine could bring her back to life. His magic is real.
posted by billysumday at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

dances_with_sneetches : Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

Awesome.
posted by quin at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007

That dude had her killed over the inheritance thing!

I mean what else could it possibly be? Her lifestyle was so healthy.
posted by tkchrist at 1:07 PM on February 8, 2007

Her life has been pretty shitty lately, a real tragedy. I mean her son died, then a weird custody dispute. I'm surprised, but not that surprised.
posted by delmoi at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

She was a looker back in the day.

This, soon to be corrected, headline is why I read the Washington Post: "Smith intubated and transported to hospital after falling unconscious at a Florida hospital."
posted by peeedro at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

OMFG. R.I.P., A.N.S. ROFL. CYA.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if Elton John will re-write the lyrics to "Candle in the Wind' again.
posted by psmealey at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007 [9 favorites]

I'm not sure why I feel like some respect should be shown to Anna Nicole in death, even though I would have (and probably did) make fun of her when she was alive, but there you go.
posted by amro at 1:08 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

What a bizarre life that woman led. Who gets all the money now?

I guess that guy who claimed to be her baby daddy, if it turns out he was. Otherwise that lawyer guy who also claims to be her baby daddy.
posted by delmoi at 1:09 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by brundlefly at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Well at least her last years were spent fighting for her part of the inheritance.
posted by spock at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Say.... wasn't that astronaut lady out on bail?
posted by maryh at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

. I hope the silicon is handled with enviromental responsibility.
posted by buzzman at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

(•Y•)
posted by mazola at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm not sure why I feel like some respect should be shown to Anna Nicole in death

'Cause she's a human being? It's natural.
posted by brundlefly at 1:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

And in heaven, a wrinkled J. Howard Marshall awaits reuniting with his blushing bride....
posted by william_boot at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Last week it was a horse. This week a cow. Go figure.
posted by malaprohibita at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I tell you, the neocons will stop at NOTHING to get the Libby trial off the front page!
posted by spock at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

RIP, bombshell.
posted by jonmc at 1:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

First Ol' Dirty, and now ANS.

Really, who is left for the children to look up to?
posted by ImJustRick at 1:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Otherwise that lawyer guy who also claims to be her baby daddy.

You mean, Howard Stern?
posted by Kibbutz at 1:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Huh.
posted by cortex at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

She died before I got a chance to find out what she was famous for.
posted by kozad at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

Say.... wasn't that astronaut lady out on bail?

Who? the AstroNaughty?
posted by micayetoca at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2007

If you take delight in someone else's misfortune, then soon enough someone else will take delight in yours.

This is not, on a practical, individual level, a general causal relationship.
posted by cortex at 1:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

Surely millions will line up, blubbering and wailing in mourning, to shuffle solemnly past her glass casket, on display in the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, and pay tribute to the corpse of this beloved icon, remembering all she has done for humanity.

What a tragic day in American history. Where oh where will we go from here?

On the bright side, the children can finally come out of hiding and once again play in the streets without fear of being snatched up by her mighty jaws and consumed whole.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2007

I thought this was about a bridge collapsing or something when I read the headline.
Then I clicked. Holy Shit! Like her life wasn't a made-for-TV movie enough already? Whoever owns the rights is going to make a killing (as 'twere).
posted by Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson at 1:15 PM on February 8, 2007

O.J. did it.
posted by yeti at 1:18 PM on February 8, 2007

She was a human being, who suffered the worst tragedy anyone can, which is the loss of a child, and depending on the paternity of her infant was probably facing a long protracted custody fight.

Yes, her life was a trainwreck. And now she can never recover from it.
posted by konolia at 1:19 PM on February 8, 2007 [6 favorites]

For a moment I thought that it was Anne Nicol Gaylor that was dead. That would be sad.
posted by gurple at 1:20 PM on February 8, 2007

From the story I posted up the thread:

"The baby," he said, "is the one ray of hope. It's the one thing that's really keeping her going."

Apparently the baby didn't do his job.
posted by Kibbutz at 1:20 PM on February 8, 2007 [6 favorites]

'Cause she's a human being? It's natural.

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Polonium 210
posted by Flashman at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Just think: She was this close to curing cancer. Humanity's loss.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:21 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

News Filter A.N.S. Collapses and dies suddenly.

I take it you were in such a panicked, helter-skelter stampede to rush to your grotty keyboard to post this world-shattering breaking news that you couldn't possibly bother actually type out the extra 9 keystrokes to type the full name "Anna Nicole Smith" so your post makes the merest modicum of sense? Well, ok, it's 12 keystrokes with spaces.

And however many times you personally use the backspace key. I can't imagine typing with those protective mitts on, much less a straitjacket.
posted by loquacious at 1:22 PM on February 8, 2007

I always viewed her as a bit of a freak, but an interesting freak. The kind of person that Paris Hilton might aspire to being one day.
posted by quin at 1:22 PM on February 8, 2007

What about all the Iraqi supermodels who died today? How come no one mentions them?
posted by Cyrano at 1:23 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

This is malaprohibita live from metafilter.com, where the gallows humor has spilled over the dam and is rushing out of control throughout the entire site.
posted by malaprohibita at 1:24 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

poor thing.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:24 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

You must be a blast at parties.
posted by jonmc at 1:25 PM on February 8, 2007 [17 favorites]

Considering how much money she stood to gain from her deceased husband's estate, it would be foolish to rule out foul play.
posted by ColdChef at 1:26 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

The world will be a sadder, poorer place for her passing.

I just hope this doesn't happen to her.
posted by sfts2 at 1:27 PM on February 8, 2007

I spelled out her name in the post, ANS is not a ready acronym
posted by jessamyn (staff) at 1:30 PM on February 8, 2007

You must be a blast at parties.

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human. It seems extremely arbitrary. I mean, I understand that all humans have kind of an "original state" of respectability, but it's not like they can't lose that, and it's not like after they do, everyone has to pretend it's still there.
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:31 PM on February 8, 2007

It's 'Nicole,' not 'Nichole,' jess.
posted by box at 1:33 PM on February 8, 2007

Jess, check the spelling on Nicole.
posted by ColdChef at 1:33 PM on February 8, 2007

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human.

People deserve a bare minimmum of respect until they give you a reason to do otherwise. And the worst thing Anna Nicole Smith did to any of us here was be annoying. This is a centerfold model we're talking about here, not Hitler. Should she be only spoken about in hushed, reverent tones? Of course not, but this is an obituary thread, a tiny shred of class might be nice.
posted by jonmc at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [9 favorites]

I will entertain the fantasy that, fed up with the limelight and constantly having to be in character, she faked death, as did her son, and they are now living together in blissful retirement in a small island in the pacific where she can catch up on the reading she had to pretend not to like in her past life.

I have a feeling that there will be lots of others who will also entertain this fantasy.
posted by Durhey at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human

You don't have to. It just makes you more human if you do. Feel free to become as unhuman as you like.
posted by digaman at 1:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

i'm getting pretty damn frustrated ... i wish i'd never entered this death pool years ago

how many more damn celebrities are going to die before keith richards finally knocks off?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

The deleted post had it all wrong. Should have been:
( • Y • )
posted by spock at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human.

You're right. No one's forcing you to do a damn thing. I tend to respect the dead, as do many people. Sorry if I spat in your socks by mentioning it.
posted by brundlefly at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

"[A]ll the money might be held in escrow for a year-old kid."

So? I doubt the original old rich guy would mind, and anyway he's dead too.

"Which will probably go mostly toward therapy because sweet Christ, is this kid gonna grow up fucked up."

Maybe growing up a rich orphan will be better than being raised by Anna Nicole Smith; I doubt she'll have a tougher life than a girl growing up in a dump in New Dehli, even one that's not an orphan. Grow some perspective, O spoiled one.
posted by davy at 1:37 PM on February 8, 2007

It's going to be awkward for her in heaven when she meets up with my billions of potential children who died because of her.
posted by ColdChef at 1:38 PM on February 8, 2007 [5 favorites]

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

not unless all they found was two little mounds of silicon on the sidewalk
posted by pyramid termite at 1:39 PM on February 8, 2007

Life is much too hard for any one person to endure.

She just let go, and no one was holding on.
posted by four panels at 1:40 PM on February 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

I always felt sorry for her, she seemed so tragic and needy. Whatever comes after this life, I hope it brings her peace.
posted by malocchio at 1:41 PM on February 8, 2007

i never payed much attention to her , i mean i knew who she was and the story behind her. but i found this news very sad for some reason , maybe because she was so young and harmless.
posted by nola at 1:41 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

This is malaprohibita live from metafilter.com, where the gallows humor has spilled over the dam and is rushing out of control throughout the entire site.

Remember the Great Snark Flood of ought-three, mal? Terrible, terrible, such a waste. Neck deep and eye high from here to the back of Projects! Writhing, bum-crawling snark in every hole! And it was even worse the next day. People took to eating their favorites and quickly moved on to limb-piracy! My own mother lost a leg and two jowls to a 50k-er with a slow-smoker and a shaker full of salt rub! And the slugs that came, raining down from the sky! Black skies and fumaroles in the kitchen and gelatin hats! Madness!

Quick! Put on something black and say something remorseful before the bitching-brigade outfits you with some fancy new backside plumbing!
posted by loquacious at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

dances_with_sneetches writes "Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken."

The next time someone talks about a death as God's plan I'm so using this phrase.
posted by Mitheral at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007

It seems extremely arbitrary.

So do most principles, if you don't get them. Consider that mustering basic respect for someone's passing is something you can do even for someone for whom you hold little personal esteem; and that your ability to display that kind of generosity may reflexively affect the degree to which others muster respect for you.

Whether or not you give a damn about that sort of thing remains, as always, your call.
posted by cortex at 1:42 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

She just let go, and no one was holding on.

This rings true. She wasn't close to her family, it seems. The only constant in her life seemed to be her lawyer/friend, Howard K. Stern. I'm not convinced he's the father of the baby; I always thought he said he was a favor to Anna Nicole because he loved her and wanted to protect her. I wonder what will happen now that she's gone.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 1:43 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Office productivity across the nation has ground to a standstill.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:44 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor woman.

.
posted by supercrayon at 1:46 PM on February 8, 2007

Farewell, TWANS.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 1:47 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, as a character she might have seemed repulsive, but watching her show I really felt an unexpected sympathy with both her and her son, who seemed like a really nice kid. Rest in peace.
posted by bukharin at 1:47 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Maybe the rapture has come and she was the only one taken.

not unless all they found was two little mounds of silicon on the sidewalk

well, the mounds wouldn't've been that little...

too bad, too...like Pamela Anderson: before the plastic surgery abuse, they were both really, really pretty in the "girl next door" way that Hef always wanted his models to look...

sigh.
posted by I, Credulous at 1:48 PM on February 8, 2007

"I just don't see how, regardless of a person's behavior, I have to respect them just because they're a human."

And that cotton ain't gonna pick itself!
posted by 2sheets at 1:49 PM on February 8, 2007 [9 favorites]

Good god! Look up Playboy June 1993 on eBay. Look what it's gone to in just a matter of 15 minutes. $150+ This just might be worth rewriting "Candle in the Wind".
posted by horseblind at 1:50 PM on February 8, 2007

Seconding jonmc.

And ColdChef, what are you talking about?

And I see I misspelled New Delhi. Would ~~Gahndi~~ mind?
posted by davy at 1:50 PM on February 8, 2007

Now who will buy Bobby Trendy's crappy funriture?
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:52 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

I wouldn't want to be in St. Peter's shoes today.
posted by rob511 at 1:53 PM on February 8, 2007

So there you are, deeply fucked-up and in the middle of this life that's been trainwreck after trainwreck for as long as you can remember. And after the weirdest few years of all, maybe it's coming together a little bit. You get back into shape for your career, and that's going well. You get knocked up by (assuming it's Stern) this dude who seems to care about you, won't always let you get away with your bullshit, and has enough brains to be worth sticking around, *and* he sort-of marries you.

And then bam, there's your kid dead. And bam, people are arguing about who's your new kid's father. So, no, it's not really coming together after all and you were just a dumb blonde pair of tits for hoping that it might.

I imagine the grave might be a welcome rest.

Since it won't affect her any which way, I hope it was her diet stuff that killed her, so that we might be able to take the hemorrhagic-stroke-in-a-bottle industry out behind the shed and shoot it.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:53 PM on February 8, 2007 [8 favorites]

.

Poor Anna. Say what you will about her, I honestly believe she was a sweet, goodhearted person. She definitely had her failings, but she did not deserve all the shit that people keep piling on her. This outcome makes sense, but it was the last thing I expected.
posted by yellowbinder at 1:54 PM on February 8, 2007

It's sad, but now we'll get the box set of her greatest recordings, the Modern Library editions of her classic novels, the somber re-cap at the Oscars of her storied film career, the elementary schools renamed in honor of her work on behalf of children, the endowments created to memorialize her contributions to science, the long lines at U.S. embassies worldwide as grief-stricken citizens sign condolence books, the heartrending service at the National Cathedral as our leaders pay tribute to her long years of service to our nation...

wait -- we'll get some of that, right? Will there at least be something on E! ?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:54 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, I always kind of respected her. She was sadly tragic---not born a genuis, but a fighter.

And in my version of her story, the old man to whom she attached himself was overlooked and taken for granted by his entitled scions. Anna Nicole shows up and breaks down a set-up that was horrible in its conventionality. Good for us.

Could I have coped with knowing Anna Nicole in real life? Probably not. But I'm sad to see her go.
posted by washburn at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

davy, please don't make me explain.
posted by ColdChef at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007

And ColdChef, what are you talking about?

I'm going to jump in and answer that one.
posted by Dr-Baa at 1:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

http://annanicolesmithdies.com/

I love how cynical and angry the internet is.
posted by ninjew at 1:57 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Don't people deserve the utmost respect unless they give you a reason not to? If you don't think you "have to respect them just because they're human" you're just not a civilized person.
posted by snoktruix at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007

Yea I'm amazed at the general disrespectul attitude towards her I've seen on all the boards I've visited, not just this one...you'll pretty much see it everywhere. The surreal part about it for me is how vastly that contrasts against the death of some like lets say, Steve Erwin, who had a much more reverant farewell. (still the jokes were put in there...maybe the bulk of which he would've enjoyed to see from the "beyond" who knows)

Granted he wasn't tied up in legal battles most of his life, but still...

. rip
posted by samsara at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007

The world will be a sadder, poorer place for her passing.

I just hope this doesn't happen to her.

Or this.
posted by sparkzy at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

She spent a long time as a real wreck. Reminds me of some of my loved ones. Reminds me of myself.

I watched her show a couple times; it was amusing at first blush, but quickly became grim when I recognized the spiral it documented. I don't really feel all that much about her. Because she doesn't seem all that real to me, it's not much of a loss. But thinking about her teetering around, barely aware of herself, makes my heart break for a few people close to me, who've teetered and watched me teeter in turn.

So thanks, Anna Nicole Smith, for being a great counterexample. I'm sorry the people who knew you have to line up and wish you were alive; I hope they don't only remember you falling. I hope they at least wanted to help.
posted by breezeway at 1:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.

Hey, Steve Ditko has a MeFi account! Who knew?
posted by Scoo at 1:59 PM on February 8, 2007

i bet this thread breaks 500. let me parlay that with the lakers over the pistons. any takers?
posted by phaedon at 2:01 PM on February 8, 2007

Too bad Pierce Marshall isn't around to see this.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:04 PM on February 8, 2007

600. 600!
posted by loquacious at 2:06 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

If you have to ask, you'll never know.
posted by motty at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

That's a sad ending.

Gotta say, sfts2, that photo of James Brown lying in repose, with a 'launch' button underneath.
I pushed it, but it didn't launch James Brown as I had hoped and it won't launch Anna Nicole Smith either, I'm afraid.
posted by alicesshoe at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'm not saying that I don't personally feel bad about people dying, or that I'd personally piss all over her funeral or anything. My mockery in these situations is a defense mechanism against my own massive and terrible fear of death.

I'm really just trying to play Devil's Advocate by questioning the assumption that you just give respect and reverence to anyone simply because they're "human", or because they died. In application, the only way to really get by in the world is to play along with everyone else's superegos. But in theory, I like to always question this behavior, especially because it can sometimes lead to a false sense of cultural superiority, and arbitrary preference of behavior.
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

I heard she choked to death trying to swallow that fucking annoying little dog.
posted by baphomet at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

.

.

.

.
posted by mds35 at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

The flame that burns twice as bright,
burns half as long
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:07 PM on February 8, 2007

This is sad. I am a huge fan of her early work.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 2:08 PM on February 8, 2007

God damn Xenophobe. I got fucking depressed reading your post and imagining what that might feel like.

Well, she certainly had one hell of a ride through her 39 years.
posted by a3matrix at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007

The late night talk shows are going to have to walk a fine line, tonight. I can't imagine they can joke too much about it.
posted by brundlefly at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007

Hey, someone on ninjew's link ripped off dances-with-sneetches' bon mot. We have witnessed the birth of a meme today.

I'm beginning to think that the worst job in America today is Internet Bombshell. Even if Paris and Lindsey and the rest don't know it, they're the targets for all the boiling, misplaced rage of the dying empire.
posted by maryh at 2:09 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Nancy grace already suspects foul play.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2007

But please don't tread on dearest Anna
cuz she's not very tough,
Her boobs were made of silicone
but in the end that was not enough.
posted by hellbient at 2:11 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

phaedon: I'll take the Pistons. You giving any points or straight up pickem?
posted by indiebass at 2:12 PM on February 8, 2007

You know, I always kind of respected her. She was sadly tragic---not born a genuis, but a fighter.

I agree. What a life she had.

.
posted by jokeefe at 2:12 PM on February 8, 2007

Certamen bikini-suicidus-disci mox coepit?
posted by tighttrousers at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum." Think about that, or go back to Fark.

Mu hunch is that few Farksters read Latin.
posted by ericb at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor Anna.
RIP
posted by gai at 2:14 PM on February 8, 2007

Who doesn't suspect foul play? Like someone otherwise seemingly in reasonable health would just collapse and die like that? In a hotel room? How many times have we seen that, in fiction and reality?
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:15 PM on February 8, 2007

Poor woman. At the very beginning of her career, she seemed to show so much promise. But she was without a stable family and surrounded by people who cared more about reaping the benefits of hanging out with someone slightly famous and potentially very wealthy than her own welfare. And when she started to go under, it seemed like there just wasn't anyone there to throw her a rope.

And now there is a baby girl who will never know her mother. Whether, in the long run, that turns out to be a blessing in disguise is impossible to know. I like to think that maybe Anna Nicole would have gotten her shit together. Now she'll never have the chance.
posted by LeeJay at 2:15 PM on February 8, 2007

Who doesn't suspect foul play? Like someone otherwise seemingly in reasonable health would just collapse and die like that? In a hotel room? How many times have we seen that, in fiction and reality?

I just figured she OD'd
posted by bob sarabia at 2:19 PM on February 8, 2007

They'll obviously investigate for foul play. However, it's being reported that she had a private nurse with her at the casino hotel. So, as far as we now know, there appears to have been concerns with her health, if she was travelling with private medical care.
posted by ericb at 2:20 PM on February 8, 2007

Other possibilities: recent rapid weight loss combined with the possibility of detoxification, etc.
posted by ericb at 2:21 PM on February 8, 2007

Also -- heart failure ala Karen Carpenter?
posted by ericb at 2:21 PM on February 8, 2007

indiebass: ill give you lakers +3
posted by phaedon at 2:22 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm guessing suicide, myself. Post-natal despression, grief, stress. Any takers?
posted by jokeefe at 2:23 PM on February 8, 2007

"[Seminole Tribe Police Chief Charlie] Tiger also said a private female nurse first called the hotel for help at 1:39 p.m. Aid arrived within two minutes, he said. At 1:45 p.m., Tiger said, a bodyguard initiated CPR in the star's sixth-floor hotel room. She was rushed to the hospital shortly after 2 p.m.

Tiger said the cause of death would be determined by an autopsy conducted by the Broward Medical Examiner's Office."^*
posted by ericb at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2007

ericb: true that. And I don't know where I heard it first, but I've always tried to live my life that way ever since.

I did just have to say it because I knew this thread could turn into a huge snarkfest. It doesn't matter who it is, a little respect is all... you know? I'm glad to see some here; it's why I live life in the blue.
posted by indiebass at 2:25 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Goodbye Anna Nicole
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to crawl by your self
While those around you stood
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they tried to find your brain
They set you on the treadmill
But they let you keep your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I never did
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Nakedness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Hefner created a reality star
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that Anna had to be intubed

Goodbye Anna Nicole
From the young man who thinks you weren't a ho
Who sees you as something less than sexual
More than just our Anna Nicole
posted by Floydd at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.
posted by Fupped Duck at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

.

She enjoyed herself--no question. : >

(and i hope it wasn't an od)
posted by amberglow at 2:26 PM on February 8, 2007

If you believe in that kind of stuff -- and I don't, but bear with me -- it's kind of heartwarming that she'll be reunited with her dear, departed husband, who's tooling around Heaven in a winged wheelchair and liver-spotted halo, cackling "I'm gonna get me some toninght!"
posted by solid-one-love at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if Elton John will re-write the lyrics to "Candle in the Wind' again.

.

Kanye West's 'Gold Digger' might be a better anthem (lyrics).
posted by vhsiv at 2:27 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by chudder at 2:28 PM on February 8, 2007

"Let me just say, before this trainwreck derails: "De mortuis, nihil nisi bonum."

Think about that, or go back to Fark"

It's "De mortuis nil nisi bonum." Go back to Fark.
(The snark, it just welled up from within!)

I was just talking with my girlfriend about how we were surprised that ANS wasn't dead. I mean, not necessarily mean-spirited, just, like, damn, you can't keep going that way without dropping.
posted by klangklangston at 2:31 PM on February 8, 2007

I'll bet on the same thing that got her son killed -- antidepressants + methadone. Nice and ironic.
posted by notmydesk at 2:31 PM on February 8, 2007

She died how she lived... on her back.

Seriously, though, such a shame how the machine chews these young girls up and spits out tattered husks. Hope she's found peace.
posted by Eideteker at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

Wanna step into my reality?
posted by 2sheets at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

I blame the octogenarian billionaire who launched her out of the strip club and into the world of trashy C-List fame. He basically bought himself a massive pair of gazongas as an end-of-life trophy. Obviously, she was completely unprepared to deal with having tens of millions of dollars at her disposal, purchased solely through hawking her body. I wonder if she would've been happier if she'd never fought the battle over the inheritance and had just taken a settlement that would've left her comfortably well-off for the remainder of her life.
posted by Midnight Creeper at 2:32 PM on February 8, 2007

Right, doesn't "nihil" mean "nothing"? As in "nihilism"?
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:35 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, the whole legal questions are pretty interesting. I didn't know that Howard Stern wasn't really married in a legal sense, which makes it all the more odd.

The suit to get some portion of Marshall's estate is still viable, and I think it's a winnable case, especially with Pierce Marshall himself out of the way (he was the major reason for it being blocked all this time, if I understand things, although his heirs will likely continue the fight). It sounds like at least one court ruled in her favor, and the question to be ultimately resolved is which court has precedence in the matter, which is why it went to the SCOTUS. Her only surviving child is too young to directly inherit the money, but looking at the example of Athina Roussel (Ari Onassis' granddaughter) who was I think 3 when her mom died, and stewards managed her estate until she was of age. There was never a question she would get every penny, just a waiting period for her to become the full legal heir.

I should imagine that Howard Stern would continue to pursue the inheritance suit to get a portion of Marshall's state, with the only actual beneficiary being Anna's daughter- unless Anna had a will stating otherwise, which is fairly likely given that her psuedo-husband was a lawyer. We'll find out soon enough if he was Anna's primary beneficiary. If the suit is eventually won, the daughter would stand to inherit tens or even hundreds million when she turned 18, and Howard would probably be in charge with managing that money as her most likely legal guardian - but then, with Anna dead, the paternity suit will take on incredible value, as the alleged biological father may see establishing paternity as the ticket to being the steward of the inheritance while the child waits to reach 18.

It's just odd to think that there's a nearly half-billion dollar potential inheritance, from an estate of a long-dead billionaire originally fought over by two now-dead people... and the only players left in the story are a guy who befriended Anna and a daughter by no blood or marital relation to the original estate who stands to receive it all.
posted by hincandenza at 2:38 PM on February 8, 2007

When asked in FHM magazine "What's the kinkiest sex you've ever had?", Smith replied:

"A ghost, hung like a horse, an fucking HUGE horse, would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas... I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem."

She is now with that ghost. Thus completes the Circle of Life.
posted by Arcaz Ino at 2:39 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

"A ghost, hung like a horse, an fucking HUGE horse, would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas... I was freaked out about it, but then I was like, Well, you know what? He's never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem."

And that ghost's name?

Milton Berle.
posted by maryh at 2:41 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sigh. Internet.

Team Alpha: We're above you guys! Fuck famous people, they suck.
Team Beta: We're above you guys! We're humanists, love everyone.
Team Charlie: We're above you guys! We're moral superlatives!
posted by cavalier at 2:42 PM on February 8, 2007

Team Dodongo: We're above you guys! We're self-aware!
posted by cortex at 2:45 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

Obviously that's a sort of moral axiom that people have or don't like "killing people is bad". Either people have a right to respect and dignity and can lose it through their actions, or they do not, and must earn it through their actions. I think the world would be a much better place if we took the first approach.

It seems extremely arbitrary. I mean, I understand that all humans have kind of an "original state" of respectability, but it's not like they can't lose that, and it's not like after they do, everyone has to pretend it's still there.

Maybe so, but what did she ever do to you or anyone else that you feel you should be able to pass judgment on her? She minded her own business, and suffered because other people couldn't.

You're right. No one's forcing you to do a damn thing. I tend to respect the dead, as do many people. Sorry if I spat in your socks by mentioning it.
--brundlefly

I have to agree here as well, after all their families and the people who cared about them are still around. In her case, I think the loss of her son was enough reason not to make fun of her anymore, though.
posted by delmoi at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

This is along the lines of "everyone deserves a second chance". No, they don't. I don't necessarily have to give anyone anything. I reject your superego.

ugh.
posted by cazoo at 2:47 PM on February 8, 2007

She died suddenly? You mean she died unexpectedly. All living creatures die "suddenly."
posted by fleener at 2:48 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Ah, she was the loveliest piece of white trash ever to be recycled.
Heh.
When she was told she'd someday meet her maker, she visited the Silicone Factory! Heh heh.
Hey, what's that you ask, Anna? Do I think you're hot? No, I find you rather cold!
Heheheh.
posted by racist dunk-tank clown at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

Probably just YouTube banter, but did anyone else see the comment in 2sheets YouTube link about the TrimSpa commercial containing a shot of the hotel she died in?

Kinda weird, if true...
posted by rollbiz at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

"She died how she lived... on her back."—Eideteker

We don't know that Eideteker, but she was always a top.

If I could have a retirement plan like hers using my body like that, then I'm sure many would jump at the opportunity. There's a brain involved there too, above all.
posted by alicesshoe at 2:51 PM on February 8, 2007

is the plural of penis penii?
posted by phaedon at 2:52 PM on February 8, 2007

Probably just YouTube banter, but did anyone else see the comment in 2sheets YouTube link about the TrimSpa commercial containing a shot of the hotel she died in?

Huh, yeah she was at the seminole hard rock just like in the ad. weird.
posted by bob sarabia at 2:57 PM on February 8, 2007

Peniim.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

Okay. The human brain contains these things called "mirror neurons" which fire both when we do something, and when we see someone else do something. As a result, we get what is known as "empathy," which is sort of like the feeling you get when you look in the mirror and realize how lonely you are, only instead of looking in the mirror, you're looking at Anna Nicole Smith on TV. And empathy, combined with self-respect, results in the respect for others about which you inquired.

Now this is the normal process by which humans respect each other, but like anything else, it can break down at any stage. Some people's mirror neurons don't fire normally so they have little empathy, e.g. autistic people. Other people don't have any self-respect, so their empathy doesn't give them respect for others, e.g. depressed people. And then there are people who consciously subvert this natural process to intentionally avoid respecting others, e.g. assholes.
posted by scottreynen at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007 [35 favorites]

http://annanicolesmithdies.com/

the internet moves at the speed of life.
posted by pruner at 2:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, this time the Queen had BETTER come down to London for the funeral.
posted by PlusDistance at 3:00 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

And, suddenly, the world's collective IQ jumped four points.
posted by fenriq at 3:02 PM on February 8, 2007

"If I could have a retirement plan like hers using my body like that, then I'm sure many would jump at the opportunity."

So you're saying you'd like to be a whore, too? Allow me to introduce you my friend "Velvet Jones."
posted by keswick at 3:04 PM on February 8, 2007

How could she possibly have died?
posted by Arcaz Ino at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

klangklangston: come on! reaching WAAAY back into the recesses of whatever Latin I've learned I'd say I was mighty danged close! Besides, its the sentiment that counts, not pedantry.

etjabberwock: after checking, yes it does. As in "of the dead, [speak] nothing except good" For shizzle. I stand by my rudimentary Latin. Again, its what it means that's important
posted by indiebass at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

ytmnd
posted by phaedon at 3:05 PM on February 8, 2007

Fupped Duck: Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.

You know, I realize that's a typo, but... cannibalicious!
posted by malaprohibita at 3:08 PM on February 8, 2007

I don't understand all the disrespect, either. She doesn't seem to have ever hurt anyone. Besides, I don't even like blondes, nor Playboy models, but she was really hot, both back in the 90s and now. I'm not in mourning or anything, but I wish she wasn't dead. Simple.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:08 PM on February 8, 2007

Joakim: Anna is the ultimate American freeloader. It's amazing she lasted this long.
posted by phaedon at 3:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Actually, the President of the United States is the ultimate American freeloader, but he wears a flight suit to show off his family jewels rather than a slit-to-the-clit dress.
posted by digaman at 3:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

So you're saying you'd like to be a whore, too?

To very loosely paraphrase something that's commonly attributed to Winston Churchill: we all have it within oursleves to be whores, it really just comes down to the price at which we will allow ourselves to be bought.
posted by psmealey at 3:16 PM on February 8, 2007

This news is making me realize (belatedly) that i actually liked and admired her--i never much thought about her before--she did well for herself, and wasn't nasty or anything, and took what she had and ran with it--we could all learn a thing or 2 from her (and when i think of more current trashy, classless people like Britney and Kevin, Anna looks even better in comparison.)
posted by amberglow at 3:18 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

(or Donald Trump, or Paris Hilton, etc...)
posted by amberglow at 3:19 PM on February 8, 2007

It could all be public image bs, but I'll agree with amberglow. She seemed a bit misguided and dim, but something of a gentle soul. Rather more pitiable than despicable.
posted by psmealey at 3:23 PM on February 8, 2007

Yeah, she was both harder working (modelling isn't a walk in the park) and less annoying than a whole crop of celebrity freeloaders, Paris Hilton being a prime example. Now, there's someone whose death I would possibly even celebrate. Anna Nicole Smith never seemed to me to be that stupid, that useless, that ignorant, or that arrogant and with that sense of entitlement.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 3:24 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I wanted to check whether I was first with the meme. I did some searching around and found this on the Randi.org discussion board.

FLASH: Dr. Richard Eby passes on

I have just received an unconfirmed report that Dr. Richard Eby went to be with the Lord yesterday, December 26, 2002.

This will come as a great disappointment to many because of the belief that the rapture would occur while Eby was still alive, based on his own testimony.

to which a response came:

Stimpson J. Cat
Maybe he didn't really die. Maybe the rapture came yesterday, and he was the only one taken.

Personally I think God would have taken Ana Nicole Smith. She likes old men.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 3:26 PM on February 8, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith collapses

but how high did she bounce?
posted by quonsar at 3:28 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I liked her tv show.
posted by JanetLand at 3:31 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, envy for all she got or could have obtained, I can understand big envy...after all she didn't appear, as much as others, as deserving of such big compensations. Yet she is also an easy target for that envy...other people look like they deserve, but didn't deserve as much as any model . Counterintuitive, but true.

What still puzzles me is : why all this disdain for her ? Why even hate her ?

Envying her is so easy..but how does it becomes hate, what kind of suffering pushes people to cross from just dismissing her as a girl who got extremely lucky to an object of hate ? It's not like she TOOK the money, somebody GAVE it to her.
posted by elpapacito at 3:35 PM on February 8, 2007

Fupped Duck: Now I must give up my dream of ANS being bread with Axel Rose.

Are you saying you want to be the meat in an Anna/Axel sandwich?

I don't think that's part of the TrimSpa plan.
posted by katillathehun at 3:38 PM on February 8, 2007

Envying her is so easy..but how does it becomes hate, what kind of suffering pushes people to cross from just dismissing her as a girl who got extremely lucky to an object of hate ? It's not like she TOOK the money, somebody GAVE it to her.

I think it has to do with what she did with it. Watching here on that TV show, looking at all the crap she spent money on. There is no way I could envy that.

Now you take all that money and make a treatment facility for coked out/ drunk ex-playmates, and that I would envy!
posted by Big_B at 3:39 PM on February 8, 2007

*There* go 26 grams I won't miss.
posted by disillusioned at 3:41 PM on February 8, 2007

i don't remember ever hearing anything racist, or antisemitic, or belittlling, or disparaging of others out of her mouth. The little I saw of her show was goofy and sweet, and while i still don't get that old man thing (she didn't strike me as a big goldigger, or venal, or anything)--if they were good to each other, why not?

It wasn't like fame brought her only sunshine and roses either--she was a tabloid mainstay and slammed continuously for years.
posted by amberglow at 3:44 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

The Anna Nicole Smith memorial tribute ribbon decal is now for sale on eBay. Current bid - $7.99
posted by pruner at 3:54 PM on February 8, 2007

Anna was always a bit of a sad soul. You could tell she was not really going to last to a ripe old age, and that itself is kind of tragic.

Sure she represented a lot of bad traits, but you know, mostly she was a reflection of a lot a bad traits in society. And in spite of being almost the definition of "victim of society", she also fought hard for herself, even if it didn't necessarily match all our definitions of good goals.

But the most tragic thing of all is all the hating, spite and vitriol that can happen against her. It is uncalled for, un-classy and makes them ten times poorer specimens then her or her tragic family.

RIP, Anna. Rot in hell for the rest of the lot of you ungenerous bastards.
posted by Bovine Love at 3:55 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

I think the sad thing is not that her child will never really know her, but that her child will get to know her from a reality TV show.
posted by AmbroseChapel at 3:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

I didn't know her. I never watched her show. I experienced no interaction with her. There was no way she touched my life nor could I relate to her life. She was not human being in my experience. She was an occasional picture in a magazine.

By all accounts she lived pretty much how she wanted. She seemed to have a good time occasionally and have great wealth. She was over 30 when she died and had some semblance of an adult life.

Therefore I am not sad. Nor am I glad. Her death, like her life, means nothing to me. Nothing.

This is not inhuman. Nor is it not compassionate.

It means I have other people to worry about.

A little gallows humor, given the public nature of the person, is no more inhuman here than making a joke about the deaths of Abe Lincoln or Julius Caesar. Though there is no need to be cruel.
posted by tkchrist at 4:00 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

"It's better to burn out than to fade away."
On second thought, maybe not.
posted by Joe Invisible at 4:04 PM on February 8, 2007

In Memorium

I confess, the first thing that drew my attention to the late Anna Nicole Smith were her breasts. She had two of them and they were large. Not so large as to be comically huge, but big enough to make me go "Wow! I wonder if those are real."

Of course, it turns out they were not real. Anna must have had one hell of a plastic surgeon and Playboy must have had the Renoir of airbrush artists because, damn, if she didn't look good without her shirt on.

I was so impressed with Anna's breasts that I spent some of my first years on the Interweb looking for pictures (and, late, videos) of Anna without her shirt on. Heck, I would settle for a down blouse shot if one came up. And come up they did!

I rented Anna's movie, Skyscraper. I figured the movie, a lame action adventure, was really just an excuse to have an R rated film that featured her breasts. Sure enough, she was topless in enough of the movie for me to forget that she really wasn't much of an actress.

I also spent a lot of time watching her show. Not whole episodes. I was disappointed in the show not because of its quality (though that was low) but because her breasts were not featured nearly enough. I recognize that this was a basic cable show and, thus, she couldn't be topless, but I found myself wondering "what is the point?"

I still looked for opportunities to see Anna's breasts whenever I could, but the opportunities seemed to be few and far between. Occasionally, she would flash people, or a boob would pop out of what they were encased in, but those "oops" shots just didn't do it for me in quite the same way.

When her life really entered what we now recognize as its death spiral in the last year, I must admit, I became a little confused. For over a decade, she had primarily been a set of especially pleasing breasts to me. Somehow, she turned into somebody whose body I felt a little bad about ogling all the time. The massive exploitation of her equally massive breasts had blinded me to the person behind the bosom.

I recognize that my top heavy focus makes it seem like I may be mocking the late Ms. Smith, but, in fact, I see her life story as a great American tragedy. A tragedy in the classic sense. A tragedy where a woman gets everything she wants and it destroys her - and, in the process, might have destroyed her son. It might still destroy her daughter. The very thing that made her popular - her appearance - was one of the things that also made her scorned.

I find myself wondering what led Ms. Smith to decide, as a young woman, that the best way to success was through breast enhancement. Were the same factors that led her to surgery also the same factors that led her to be perceived as a golddigger? Did her pursuit of the American dream, of a wealthy life for her and her late son, lead her to make the choices she made? Did she find that her success just led to more pain - that money and fame and looks couldn't make her happy?

In fact, the only thing about Ms. Smith bigger than her breasts is now the overarching tragedy of her life.

Her image will live on. In fact, images of her breasts will live on and will continue making money for somebody. Maybe the money her breasts make her estate after death will, appropriately, provide sustance for her baby daughter for years to come.

Anyhow, Ms. Smith, in her own way, made my life a little better by making her surgical choice. I can't pretend that I knew much more about her than her cup size, but I hope that her passing wasn't too awful and that her daughter is well taken care of.

And that her daughter keeps her clothes on when the time comes.

Rest in peace.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:05 PM on February 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

Sad. She was pretty young to be dying.
posted by clockzero at 4:06 PM on February 8, 2007

I wonder if it was her heart from all the up-and-down weight stuff?

(and i guess she was a golddigger--did she really meet the old man while doing a lapdance for him?)
posted by amberglow at 4:08 PM on February 8, 2007

tkchrist: A little gallows humor, given the public nature of the person, is no more inhuman here than making a joke about the deaths of Abe Lincoln or Julius Caesar. Though there is no need to be cruel.

Oh, Joey Michaels, she was so much more than a pair of tits. She had an absolutely breath-taking ass, as well.

(__.__)
posted by MrMoonPie at 4:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

i was just reminded of Star 80, and Dorothy Stratten--she did better than that, thank God.
posted by amberglow at 4:12 PM on February 8, 2007

There are no deformed or maimed children hobbling around Southeast Asia because of Anna Nicole Smith, for example.

You can't know that for sure.
posted by baphomet at 4:15 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

...someone would have posted this eventually. Albeit in a super "this was your Life" snarky sorta way. I waited years for the chance to do the completely wrong thing with a fpp!
posted by gigbutt at 4:18 PM on February 8, 2007

I recognize that my top heavy focus makes it seem like I may be mocking the late Ms. Smith, but, in fact, I see her life story as a great American tragedy. A tragedy in the classic sense. A tragedy where a woman gets everything she wants and it destroys her - and, in the process, might have destroyed her son. It might still destroy her daughter. The very thing that made her popular - her appearance - was one of the things that also made her scorned.

I'm holding out for "Anna Nicole: The Opera (An American Tragedy in Four Acts)". Seriously. It's kinda like La Traviata, except without the tuberculosis. And stuff.
posted by jokeefe at 4:18 PM on February 8, 2007

Well, I'm just disappointed it wasn't Courtney Love...
posted by Tube at 4:19 PM on February 8, 2007

amberglow, if it was her heart it might have been from her up-and-down weight, but it's as likely to have been from the medications or even from a hereditary tendency.

Right now we don't know. It might be a combination of things - former drug use (if any), weight, a high fever, perhaps even pneumonia. For all we know it could have been a brain aneurysm or some other completely unpredictable cause - 39's not too young for that.

As for the money - I highly doubt she doesn't have a very good will, but it'll be interesting to see if the child is mentioned. If she isn't that may give whoever the father is the right to set it aside - in most jurisdictions you can't disinherit a minor child.
posted by watsondog at 4:19 PM on February 8, 2007

Rest in peace, Vickie.
posted by gubo at 4:20 PM on February 8, 2007

This is too surreal for me to comment on.
posted by wumpus at 4:23 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I think the point being made by the chiders is that people give more respect and . symbols in response to the deaths of world leaders with war crimes and countless gallons of blood on their hands, than they do someone who was unremarkable but not mean, cruel, or destructive. There are no deformed or maimed children hobbling around Southeast Asia because of Anna Nicole Smith, for example.

People who do nothing are as deserving of public respect than those that do something? Hmmmm. Not sure I agree.

Know that greatness (not "goodness", but greatness) almost always comes at a terrible price to somebody.

With that in mind you respectful bastards better honor the shit out of me if I let slip this mortal coil.

Which I won't. Because I am going to live forever!

but if I don't live forever and there are not at least 5 MeFi threads culminating in my hagiography then I will haunt YOU, hicandenza!
posted by tkchrist at 4:27 PM on February 8, 2007

sic transit pornia mundi
posted by meehawl at 4:28 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, I'm just disappointed it wasn't Courtney Love...

they come in threes!
posted by tkchrist at 4:29 PM on February 8, 2007

but she was really hot, both back in the 90s and now.

Well, not now, I imagine.
posted by Bookhouse at 4:30 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

. .
posted by MythMaker at 4:32 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

.
posted by every_one_needs_a_hug_sometimes at 4:34 PM on February 8, 2007

And remember, a completely vapid and seemingly talentless broad with a great set of chew toys dies something like every 8 seconds in the world. They just aren't all posted to Metafilter.
posted by SinisterPurpose at 5:14 PM EST on February 8

I don't think of her as being completely talentless; she had a stunning body (a body to die for?) and a pretty face and she worked it and got herself out of Texas and into a national ad campaign. That takes work. And she got a billionaire to legally wed her. That takes talent and some brains.

I don't like all this dismissive talk about whores because our culture has always equated wealth in men with prettiness in women. We as society have always approved of wealthy men buying pretty wives and pretty women trading on the looks to improve their station in life. Is that whoring? Perhaps, but up until the last 50 years (or so) women were disallowed any other way to advance.

I have always believed Anna Nicole Smith made a bargain with her husband-- her youth and beauty for his millions. I hope that the court finally upholds that bargain.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:36 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

There must be plenty of essays analyzing the Anna Nicole Smith phenomenon. Here's one from Carina Chocano:

As Vladimir Nabokov once said, "There is nothing more exhilarating than philistine vulgarity." If this is true, then "The Anna Nicole Show" is pretty damn exhilarating. ... Lacking in many significant personal relationships, Anna spends her days hanging out with her lawyer, Howard K. Stern; her personal assistant, Kim Walther; her 16-year-old son, Daniel; and her mood-stabilized poodle, Sugar Pie. So far, we have seen Anna stumbling around in a stupor, babbling incoherently, climbing in and out of bathtubs and getting her sizable ass stuck between a pair of narrow table legs. ...

Cheap, crass, deeply committed to unapologetic gawking, "The Anna Nicole Show" is to "The Osbournes'" what US Weekly is to People magazine. If "The Osbournes" humanized fame and made it seem familiar, "The Anna Nicole Show" deconstructs it and makes it seem monstrous. Tawdriness notwithstanding, this may be the more honest, and more valuable, view. At 34, her professional prime squarely behind her, Anna Nicole still clings to the same trailer park dream -- the one in which everything is pink and everybody loves her -- to her overall detriment and alienation.

posted by russilwvong at 4:38 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Eh it's difficult to say for sure that she really was a human being. Nobody knows anything about her except for playboy covers and tabloid headlines. The whole thing sounds like some bad Melrose Place season finale. And there's this cloying smell, the sickly sweet of the circus where they pump noise and sugar into the air to cover up the smell of sweat and shit. Like the Christians say: produce the body!
posted by nixerman at 4:39 PM on February 8, 2007

Reality TV star Anna Nicole Smith dies at 39

Oh how the mighty have fallen. Well, the penis mightiers.
posted by kyleg at 4:41 PM on February 8, 2007

In a perfect universe, she'd be giving James Brown one heck of a lap dance right about now.
posted by crowman at 4:41 PM on February 8, 2007

pretty women trading on the looks to improve their station in life. Is that whoring?

No more so than a person trading their natural preponderance of fast twitch muscles for a College Football Scholarship or their natural height for a career int he NBA.

You work with what the universe gives you.

But this is also luck. Being born good looking, or fast, or tall, is luck. Let us also not discount the amount of blind luck she likely encountered to get her where she got.

But we should not be envious or resentful of that either. We should ALL be so lucky.
posted by tkchrist at 4:42 PM on February 8, 2007

This is one of those huge threads where you can only troll around favoriting comments, or you accidentally get sucked into some petty flamewar.
posted by tehloki at 4:45 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

So you look around at your life. You've got no education, no money, no connections, no prospects, no manners, nothing to advance in life. Can you allocate capital like Warren Buffett or Abby Joseph Cohen? No. Can you give wise counsel, like Dr. Drew? No. Can you run the 100 meters in less than 10 seconds, like Flo Jo? No.

You've got a pair of mammary glands that men seem to like and you know how to put on a sexy attitude and a million dollar smile. So you go try out for Playboy, and they like you, they really like you, and when they put you in the magazine you turn it into a modeling career, because you didn't want to end up a chain smoking old waitress in Mexia, Texas.

You marry a wealthy old man whom you met in a strip club. You do the things they tell you you have to do to keep getting work - all the plastic surgery, all the drugs and parties, whatever everyone else is doing. You become wealthy and have a little success in your life.

What do you get for it? You get mocked for the way you allocate your capital, for the way you don't know wisdom from foolishness, for the way you've chopped up your body, for the way you married into money. Your kid commits suicide and dies practically in your arms.

All this because you didn't want to end up as a waitress in Mexia, Texas and you didn't have any other way out. Now everyone piles on to tell me how she deserved it.

I feel sorry for the woman. I feel sorry for what she had to go through and I'm disgusted at what she has to go through now. Recquiescat in pace, Ms. Smith. You earned it.
posted by ikkyu2 at 4:46 PM on February 8, 2007 [34 favorites]

Actually tkchrist, the point is that people who do nothing, such as harmless bimbos, are more worthy of deeper respect than those who do something vicious, mean or evil. I myself prefer the ANSes of the world to the Dick Cheneys, Ted Kennedys or Mother Teresas. And the crap she's inspiring in this thread added to what she got in life is inspiring me to sympathize with her.

And, on preview, what SLoG said. And ikkuyu2 too.
posted by davy at 4:51 PM on February 8, 2007

To very loosely paraphrase something that's commonly attributed to Winston Churchill: we all have it within oursleves to be whores, it really just comes down to the price at which we will allow ourselves to be bought.

Churchill clearly never met my father.

Mind you, Churchill was a politician, from which sort anything can be expected.
posted by IndigoJones at 4:55 PM on February 8, 2007

In her honor, I've created a terrible cocktail.
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:57 PM on February 8, 2007

Now everyone piles on to tell me how she deserved it.

I don't think anybody says she deserved to die.

I think some people are being needlessly cruel, true. Shame on them.

While others are wearing their pop-culture hearts more on their sleeves as a way to promote their superiority over others. Nothing new there.

The rest of us are using this as a crass opportunity to try and be witty or silly. Like we do with everything. Most are failing.

I'm saying her life was not a tragedy any more than most peoples. The death of her child is very sad. But. You're damned lucky if by 39 you haven't experienced the death of somebody close to you. Damned lucky.

Personally I think she had a good life. She got to do a great deal more than most people. She got to see the world. And given her lifestyle that she made it to 39 is miraculous.

BTW there is nothing wrong with being a in a waitress Mexia, Texas.
posted by tkchrist at 4:58 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

So you applaud her for whoring herself instead of getting an education and trying to contribute something MEANINGFUL?

I'm sorry, but the world is no poorer for her passing.
posted by keswick at 5:07 PM on February 8, 2007

MEANINGFUL

Define "meaningful."

And. BTW. You better be doing it, too.
posted by tkchrist at 5:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Meaningful = making the world a better place beyond looking pretty. (Which I never found her, anyway. The human Barbie look doesnt do it for me.)

And yes, I am.
posted by keswick at 5:11 PM on February 8, 2007

keswick, if you're a paragon of "contributing something MEANINGFUL," I'd take 100 more Anna Nicoles over you.

She was a train-wreck, but a train-wreck self-conscious enough to make millions. Laugh at her all you want, she had more money and saw more of the world than you or I did.

(But I am kinda curious as to what cocktails of pills she was on.)
posted by bardic at 5:12 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh? And what exactly did a freelance mac elitist, jackass, asshat, and devil's advocate actually ever contribute? Most of us are unimportant, and just passing time.
posted by hincandenza at 5:12 PM on February 8, 2007

keswick: I consider myself a fairly irreverent person. I was happy to poke fun at Anna Nicole when she was alive, and probably in a couple months, I'll be happy to poke fun at her again. But she had people who loved her and she just died. I believe you deserve a break when you die.

As I said before, this isn't Hitler or Hussein or for that matter any powerful person who's actions affect us much. So, chill out alright.
posted by jonmc at 5:13 PM on February 8, 2007

Never has the slang "tits up" been so appropriate.
posted by Frank Grimes at 5:13 PM on February 8, 2007

Lots of people with extensive educations never contribute anything meaningful. Why did Smith owe the world some sort of profound contribution? Because you dislike the way she came into her money?
posted by maryh at 5:14 PM on February 8, 2007

So more money = better than? I guess George Bush is better than you then?

As for my occupation, I don't share it with this community because my opinions are unpopular and I've had certain unhinged people cause problems with me IRL previously.
posted by keswick at 5:15 PM on February 8, 2007

And wow, I didn't expect this thread to produce any eloquence, but damn if ikkyu2 didn't provide some.
posted by bardic at 5:17 PM on February 8, 2007

keswick, we get it. You didn't like her. You don't like anybody. Now shut the hell up.
posted by bardic at 5:19 PM on February 8, 2007

So more money = better than? I guess George Bush is better than you then?

That's not remotely what I said. But if she's stayed poor and obscure, I doubt you'd be banging on her coffin for A Great Contribution To Society. Jeez, she was just a messed up woman in an unusual life situation, and now it's over for her. You don't have to feel sorry for her, but why get indignant about it?
posted by maryh at 5:20 PM on February 8, 2007

keswick, we get it. You didn't like her. You don't like anybody.

But he seems to want everybody to like him. Ironic, isn't it?
posted by jonmc at 5:21 PM on February 8, 2007

Wait. Keswick is Ironic?

I can't keep all these sock puppets straight.
posted by Astro Zombie at 5:24 PM on February 8, 2007

Nah, I don't care if anyone likes me. I'd rather be right than popular anyday.
posted by keswick at 5:25 PM on February 8, 2007

so keswick, you refuse to elaborate on why your holier than thou attitude is justified. why not just keep it to yourself in a thread such as this.
posted by ryanfou at 5:25 PM on February 8, 2007

Meaningful = making the world a better place beyond looking pretty.

Then I am not meanigful. Nor are you. Nor are most of us.

Because, living in the Capitalist West, no matter how much I try not to I still consume far past my needs. Like most of us here.

Are we a net boon to the world? I don't know. I do know that the resources it takes support one of us for a lifetime here in the west can support probably a 1000 people in the third world.

Keswick. Most of us, though we try "to make the world a better place" can only hope to balance our own negative impact.

So as far as that goes: A bit of pretty sure helps make life better as far as I'm concerned.
posted by tkchrist at 5:25 PM on February 8, 2007

fine, i'll just shut up
posted by keswick at 5:27 PM on February 8, 2007

keswick writes I'd rather be right than popular anyday.

Sucks to be neither.
posted by bardic at 5:29 PM on February 8, 2007

You forgot your signature "meh."
posted by maryh at 5:30 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm sad about this. She was fun. She made me laugh. I always sort of had my fingers crossed in hope for her.

RIP Anna, you fabulous Texas girl.

.
posted by dog food sugar at 5:33 PM on February 8, 2007

She was and is an easy target, just like kids who get bullied in school or, to take it to the logical extreme, a racial minority in a racist culture.

People will take shots at her because they'll get away with it and maybe even be praised for it. It says nothing about her and everything about the people taking the shots.

I know that is a ridiculous analogy on the surface, but I think it's a valid comparison. I think the same thing every time I hear people making Paris Hilton and Britney jokes: these are people who enjoy saying horrible things about people who have never done them any harm or even met them, ut they lack the courage to go after someone who hasn't already been marked "acceptable target."
posted by drjimmy11 at 5:33 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

ikkyu2: All this because you didn't want to end up as a waitress in Mexia, Texas and you didn't have any other way out.

Nice writing, true, but I just can't swallow that the only options open to somebody are either waitressing forever or posing for nuddy pictures & marrying some decrepit old millionaire.

OK, maybe things are a bit fucked up in America, where you apparently need a diamond as big as the Ritz to afford a decent education, but plenty of people still manage to educate or train themselves to improve their lot in life, from beginnings just as humble as Ms Smith's.

And having nice boobies & smiles can help you get ahead in arenas other than sticky mags & strip clubs.

Aside from that, peace be upon her.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:34 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

Excellent obituary in the NY Times. You want snark? Well, snark costs. And right here is where you start reading. With tears.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:37 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

When she was still a teenager, she married Billy Smith, a 16-year-old fry cook who specialized in chicken.

Well, that's just plain pissy.
posted by maryh at 5:42 PM on February 8, 2007

I forgot she was in The Hudsucker Proxy.
posted by bardic at 5:44 PM on February 8, 2007

Nah, I don't care if anyone likes me. I'd rather be right than popular anyday.

"I'd rather be famous than righteous or holy
Any day, any day, any day."

Sorry, just seemed appropriate all round.
posted by jokeefe at 5:45 PM on February 8, 2007

(monkey see, monkey do
i'd rather be dead than cool)
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:47 PM on February 8, 2007

“I love the paparazzi. They take pictures, and I just smile away. I’ve always liked attention. I didn’t get it very much growing up, and I always wanted to be, you know, noticed.”
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:01 PM on February 8, 2007

sic transit pornia mundi

aliis licet, titty non licet!
posted by phaedon at 6:05 PM on February 8, 2007

Looks like the NYT took out the bit about "specializing in chicken" (unless that was a joke and I'm just being my usual dim self).
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:10 PM on February 8, 2007

Meh. Fuck the New York Times. I'd suggest some sort of karmic punishment for the asshat who wrote that obit, but then I remembered she has to live with herself every single day.
posted by bardic at 6:11 PM on February 8, 2007

I'd like to dedicate Nanci Griffith's Drive-in Movies and Dashboard Lights to Anna:

Sister had a crystal voice
She played a Silvertone from Montgomery Ward
Baez songs and Monroe hair
She sure could turn the boys heads to stare
Swimwear saunter, tan and haunt them
Was all she learned in school
Books were for the other girls
And the other girls were fools
Texas back in '69 was drive in movies and dashboard lights

Father waltzed her down the aisle
Cause college didn't suit her style
The sad truth was she could barely read
But if you told dear father, well he wouldn't believe you
The telephone rang and drove mother insane
From all the hearts left on the shelf
Sisters gone and she won't be home
Cause she didn't take care of herself
Texas back in '69 was drive in movies and dashboard lights

Where is she now
The backseat queen of fraternity
Where is she now
She's heavy on thigh
And light on integrity
Someone should have told her
When beautys all you offer
How soon the world disovers
That your beautys gone
Its gone

Mother can't you hear your daughter crying
Father wake up her youth is dying
The kids are gone
Husbands gone away
And its a shame cause she had such a lovely face
Can't you see she needed more than
"Oh what a pretty child"
You never taught her truth from lie
All you told her was to smile
Texas back in '69 was drive in movies and dashboard lights

Where is she now
The backseat queen of fraternity
Where is she now
She's heavy on thigh
And light on integrity
Someone should have told her
When beautys all you offer
How soon the world disovers
That your beautys gone
Its gone

Texas back in '69 was drive in movies and dashboard lights.
posted by spock at 6:12 PM on February 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

i never much thought about her before--she did well for herself, and wasn't nasty or anything, and took what she had and ran with it--we could all learn a thing or 2 from her

Did well for herself? On what planet? Marrying a guy on his deathbead now equals doing well for yourself? We could learn a thing or two from her? We could learn a thing or two not to do.

I hate the negative crap that goes on in death threads. I don't revel in anyone's death, but some of these comments are laughable. She had some hard times thrust upon her, and some she thrust upon herself. She became famous because for her looks, married a walking corpse for his money, and then starred in an awful reality show.

She simply wasn't prepared for fame, and no one around her cared for anything but her money. Sad story, sadder life, and perhaps a precautionary tale to young girls headed to hollywood. But the 'oh she was a victim' line is crap and I'm guessing just a result of our need for celebrity worship.
posted by justgary at 6:18 PM on February 8, 2007

Joey Michaels writes "I see her life story as a great American tragedy. A tragedy in the classic sense. A tragedy where a woman gets everything she wants and it destroys her - and, in the process, might have destroyed her son. It might still destroy her daughter."

Christ, you're right. It's just like Absalom, Absalom!.
posted by mr_roboto at 6:26 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

sorry thats aliis si licet, tibi non licet
and for the lazy... Others may, but the titty may not.
posted by phaedon at 6:27 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm sorry to see her go. I strongly suspect it was a suicide, and that's very, very sad. She seemed to be a genuinely sweet, harmless sort, and by God was she hot in a curvaceous, bodacious way that seems sadly out of fashion these days. I had a huge crush on her, and I, for one, will miss her.

Requiescat in pace, Anna Nicole.
posted by kcds at 6:29 PM on February 8, 2007

justgary writes She became famous because of her looks, married a walking corpse for his money, and then starred in an awful reality show.

Wow justgary, you live in an actual meritocracy. What planet is that on? I'd love to visit.

As for her marriage, by many accounts it made them both happy. Was it TRUE WOV? Who knows. But they didn't get divorced, the guy was always smiling, and Anna Nicole probably had one of the few people in her life whom she could trust.

(Dear Lord, I'm spending a hell of a lot of energy defending Anna Nicole Smith. RIP, and I hope her baby daughter lands somewhere loving and safe.)
posted by bardic at 6:31 PM on February 8, 2007

Looks like the NYT did edit out "specializing in chicken", potsmokinghippieoverlord. Some editor's sense of decorum kicked in during the last half hour, I guess.
posted by maryh at 6:45 PM on February 8, 2007

Explain to me how, exactly, the state of simply "being a human" has some kind of intrinsic, respect-demanding property.

No.
posted by Flunkie at 6:45 PM on February 8, 2007 [4 favorites]

Her death is unsurpising but still a shock. In many ways it's amazing she survived her addictions this long. She had pneumonia last November, her immune system was probably fragile after the birth of her daughter last September and immediately after that the death of her son.

She had everything and nothing at the same time.

That reminds me of the Bukowski poem, Something For The Touts, The Nuns, The Grocery Clerks, And You . . .

...and some men do it in Palm Springs
laying it into butterblondes
with Cadillac souls
Cadillacs and butterflies
nothing and everything...

May she rest in peace
posted by nickyskye at 6:54 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

All this because you didn't want to end up as a waitress in Mexia, Texas and you didn't have any other way out. Now everyone piles on to tell me how she deserved it.

Few (nobody) in this thread is piling on to tell you how she deserved death.

But she epitomized the Ultimate American Dream of Something for Nothing: a symbol of trading ill-gotten cash for false friends, feelings and looks, filling an empty head and empty heart with drugs and similar vapidity.

No one here wished her death, but anyone with open eyes can see she pretty much wrote herself off as dead long ago.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:08 PM on February 8, 2007

As for her marriage, by many accounts it made them both happy. Was it TRUE WOV? Who knows. But they didn't get divorced, the guy was always smiling, and Anna Nicole probably had one of the few people in her life whom she could trust. (Dear Lord, I'm spending a hell of a lot of energy defending Anna Nicole Smith. RIP, and I hope her baby daughter lands somewhere loving and safe.)
posted by bardic at 9:31 PM EST on February 8 [+]
[!]

Wow, I agree with this. I AGREE with bardic. ::mind blows::
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 7:14 PM on February 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

And who can forget her performance in Naked Gun 33 1/3? She bravely took the role so that OJ Simpson would not have to be the person in that trilogy with the wosrt line delivery.

(Oh, man, is there some kind of Naked Gun curse? Watch out, Reggie Jackson!)
posted by Bookhouse at 7:18 PM on February 8, 2007

.
posted by aerotive at 7:19 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm sorry, but the world is no poorer for her passing.

I think her daughter's world will be.

RIP Anna Nicole.
posted by deborah at 7:39 PM on February 8, 2007

No one here wished her death, but anyone with open eyes can see she pretty much wrote herself off as dead long ago.

...and the thread reached its existential conclusion.
posted by Pacheco at 8:11 PM on February 8, 2007

Video of paramedics performing CPR on her has sold for $500,000+.
posted by chudder at 8:26 PM on February 8, 2007

Oh, sweet jesus, I wish I'd never commented in this thread, it keeps showing up in mycomments view.

(The BBC News just described her as "tabloid personality, Anna Nicole Smith")
posted by klangklangston at 8:43 PM on February 8, 2007

Topped.

Waves at klangklangston.

Seriously, I feel your pain. This thread could close right now and MeFi would probably be better for it.
posted by quin at 8:57 PM on February 8, 2007

boy, if anna reads this, she'll sure be pissed at all the people making fun of her.
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 8:58 PM on February 8, 2007

Hugh Hefner capitalized Vickie Marshall into Anna Nicole Smith. There was a time, before Vickie was born, when Huge could justify his shtik as advocacy for civil liberties and other progressive causes.

Goodbye Vickie.
posted by Huplescat at 8:59 PM on February 8, 2007

Hugh Hefner's statement:

"I am very saddened to learn about Anna Nicole's passing. She was a dear friend who meant a great deal to the Playboy family and to me personally. My thoughts and prayers are with her friends and loved ones during this difficult time."

And a blog post by the Playboy photo editor she worked with:

The turbulent life of Anna Nicole Smith ended today in a hotel room in Hollywood, Florida. Born in the tiny Texas town of Mexia, Vickie Smith (her first and real name) was a teen-age mother, waitress, short order cook, stripper, Playboy Playmate, Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, Guess Jeans model, actress, wife of an 89-year old oil tycoon, participant in an on-going battle over the tycoon’s estate after he died, overweight reality TV show star, svelte spokesperson for a weight loss program…all in a few short years.

Appropriately, her idol was Marilyn Monroe. Her face, even without makeup, was stunning. As she said herself, “I love the camera.” And it loved her. She appeared on four Playboy covers, in numerous Playboy pictorials, specials, calendars, etc. When George Marciano of Guess Jeans saw her photos in Playboy, he quickly made her his next Guess girl.

I met Anna Nicole on her Playmate set in our Santa Monica studio. At 5’11”, she looked every bit the movie star. She had that look—not just another great blonde but someone extraordinary. She was candid, funny, unpretentious. And she was so happy to be in LA. “I’m eager,” she said, “to be anywhere that isn’t Texas.”

Playboy readers loved Anna. We couldn’t give them enough of her. She was Playmate of the Year, the pictorial for which was photographed by fashion photographer Daniela Federici. We featured her several more times in pictorials…on the beach, in bed, in the bathtub. Her sexuality and her spontaneity always revealed themselves to the camera. Her exploits since Playboy have been well publicized.

And now she is suddenly gone, like with Marilyn and Jayne Mansfield, taken too quickly. Perhaps Billy Joel should write a sequel to his song “Only the Good Die Young” simply changing the last word to “Beautiful.” We’ll miss you, Vickie.

posted by gsteff at 8:59 PM on February 8, 2007

I'm sure that Playboy photo editor was moved by the best of intentions to post that, gsteff, but all he pretty much said there was that she was a great piece of ass.

How sad.
posted by psmealey at 9:10 PM on February 8, 2007

I remember, years ago in a green room on a film shoot, seeing an E! story about her where her family was showing off the full -back tattoos of her face that she bullied them all into getting. Added to the "assistant" so prominent in her reality show (a young girl with such a desperate and obviouse crush on Anna that I'm surprised she diddnt't shoot her just to jump in front of the bullet) it would seem as though Smith's main talent was in getting people to worship her. I know - I KNOW - that if I'd ever met her in life, I would've despised her. And yet...

I mourn a bit at her passing. It seems to me like a suicide. There's the post-partum depression, and her son dying, and the ongoing legal battles, but as anyone who's ever been close to suicide knows, you can't try to pin down a cause. This is just my first guess, though, and I don't want to call any of her character into question by it.

If nothing else, we respect a person's passing because of a shared sense of mortality. Without this empathy, we lose a bit of our soul. We become the people who scream out for the death penatly for minor offenses, we join the ranks of torturers and thugs. We claim the point of view that somehow "We" are different from "Them." And then we justify it by being self-righteous, and of course our claims for righteousness are simply pointing to ourselves and saying "this is what is right."

So yeah, I mourn for Anna Nicole. Not because she was young. Not because she was famous (though this is the only reaons I know of her at all) and not because she seemed like she was trying to turn it around and become a more responsible person.

I mourn for her because she was a person, and as a celebrity was created as much by us as by herself, and because none of us, by virtue of being here to talk about it, have had to deal with, nor know anything about, what she's been through today.

.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:10 PM on February 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

gawker has a nice write-up.
posted by phaedon at 9:50 PM on February 8, 2007

from the Sydney Morning Herald:

Minutes after word of the death of stripper-turned-celebrity Anna Nicole Smith, the blogosphere began the autopsy of a life lived in the headlines, and the verdict wasn't at all pretty.

From different corners of the internet, commentators who once considered Smith worthy only of off-colour jokes purported to seek out the deeper cultural meanings of her death. Most came up brutally short.

Instead many observers revelled in jokes about the size of the former Playboy model's breasts or the extent of her drug problems - topics thought to be fair game in the world of celebrity gossip.

[...]

The occasion gave free rein to the pseudonymous savagery which passes for informed commentary on the web.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:12 PM on February 8, 2007

"The occasion gave free rein to the pseudonymous savagery which passes for informed commentary on the web."

That'll teach 'em.
posted by klangklangston at 10:33 PM on February 8, 2007

sydney morning herald == new york post, only the toilet water spins the other way.
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 11:05 PM on February 8, 2007

I've always been intrigued at the public's fascination with Sid Vicious and his pathetic, ugly existence. I used to ask punk rock girls wearing Sid shirts what they thought he would smell like if they met him.
posted by 2sheets at 11:14 PM on February 8, 2007

new york...post?!?

*googles*

GAAAAAAA!!! MY EYES!!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:12 AM on February 9, 2007

Geez, I'm caught up in the frenzy of a two-bit nobody hooker, nobody who died. I am sure there are no Iraqis who died at the same time who are so mourned as Nicole. What is our fascination with celebrity nothingness?
posted by vac2003 at 1:24 AM on February 9, 2007

As for her marriage, by many accounts it made them both happy.

Really? I've read/heard the opposite. But I suppose it could have nothing to do with money, just happiness.

But they didn't get divorced

They were married for 13 months and never lived together. You're setting the bar pretty low.

the guy was always smiling, and Anna Nicole probably had one of the few people in her life off whom she could ~~trust~~ freeload.

Fixed that for you bardic.
posted by justgary at 1:53 AM on February 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

From the NYT obit: A ninth-grade dropout

Wow, I didn't really know much about this person, and I've just been looking in the fishbowl in this thread, but the only people I hear of these with such an education are either people with serious drug problems or some old ranchers, trappers, truckers and stuff, not successful reasonably young women.
posted by Listener at 3:14 AM on February 9, 2007

Meh. At least Hitler had fashion sense.
posted by malusmoriendumest at 3:42 AM on February 9, 2007

There was some left over milk in the bottle, so I made chocolate milk. I shook it really hard until it was frothy.
posted by oxford blue at 4:15 AM on February 9, 2007

[08:05] Shelldrake: poor anna nichole, she was only 39
[08:05] Shelldrake: thats like 118 in bimbo years tho
[08:05] quonsar: LOL
[08:05] Shelldrake: lol
posted by quonsar at 5:13 AM on February 9, 2007

.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 5:22 AM on February 9, 2007

[08:05] oxford blue: i have friends too
[08:05] oxford blue: yes
[08:05] oxford blue: and we converse rapidly
[08:05] oxford blue: because we are like sliced bread

If you put your tongue on the screen you can taste my admiration.
posted by oxford blue at 5:22 AM on February 9, 2007

Way the hell late to this, but looking forward to the toxicology report.
posted by pax digita at 5:28 AM on February 9, 2007

Metafilter: looking forward to the toxicology report.
posted by dreamsign at 5:31 AM on February 9, 2007

Good to know your marriage is perfect justgary. Not many are.
posted by bardic at 6:00 AM on February 9, 2007

I'd follow her at the drop of a hat, had I the guts.
posted by dayvin at 6:17 AM on February 9, 2007

You OK there, dayvin?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 6:25 AM on February 9, 2007

Was that Mr. Shelldrake? In Personnel?
posted by psmealey at 6:36 AM on February 9, 2007

gawker has a nice write-up.

If by "nice" you mean "barely literate, with so many layers of would-be 'irony' slopped on you can barely tell what they're trying to say":

Born Vickie Lynn Hogan in 1967, Smith grew up in the small town of Mexia, Texas, where she eventually found employ as waitstaff at the town's befamed palace of poultry perfection, Jim's Krispy Fried Chicken. Whilst tendering her services, she came into contact with young Billy Wayne Smith (at sixteen, he was actually a year her junior)...

Young Anna Nicole fulfilled a need to serve her country by working at a Wal-Mart. From that perch, she deigned to accept a spread in Hugh Hefner's publication Play~~girl~~boy in 1992. She was Playmate of the Year in 1993. She only then officially adopted the name Anna Nicole Smith, a moniker composed of an opaque series of extremely personal allusions.

She consented to allow Guess? Jeans to use her as a model.

Et bla bla cetera. Say what you will about the NY Times obit's snark quotient, it's Joyce, Hemingway, and Faulkner rolled into one by comparison: "The product of a hardscrabble Texas girlhood, Ms. Smith, at least in her mature years, was obtrusively voluptuous and almost preternaturally blonde." Now, that's a sentence.

Oh, sweet jesus, I wish I'd never commented in this thread, it keeps showing up in mycomments view.

I feel your pain.
posted by languagehat at 6:38 AM on February 9, 2007

Metafilter: almost preternaturally blonde.
posted by pax digita at 6:45 AM on February 9, 2007

It's pretty dark, but I just noticed the MeFi thread proceeding this:

"« Older Can a Bunny be your friend?... "

It was a quick chuckle, but it was a chuckle. What a sad tale. :p
posted by cavalier at 6:51 AM on February 9, 2007

ikkyu2 summed it up perfectly.
posted by Bovine Love at 7:24 AM on February 9, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith is what we Americans made. She is our creation. She is what we wanted--what we all wanted. Big tits and blond hair and weight loss issues. Her drug issues, her family troubles and her lawsuits. We wanted all of this. Even now that she's dead, most of us will look at her corpse and snark and joke and think secretly, "this is really what we wanted the whole time, what a perfect ending." She is our product, the kind of person that American culture nurtures and spits back out at us, and we relish every moment of it.

Basically I'm n-thing the idea that perhaps we should give this woman a tiny bit of respect in death.
posted by dead_ at 7:25 AM on February 9, 2007

Anna Nicole Smith is what we Americans made. She is our creation.

Which raises the questions: did she die for our sins, will she rise again on the third day to be seated at the right hand of the father? To judge the quick and the dead?

I agree that some of the mean-spritedness on this thread was uncalled for, but such events need not have deeper meaning or significance. Sometimes an Anna is just an Anna, Anna.
posted by psmealey at 7:28 AM on February 9, 2007

gawker has a nice write-up.

This is the funniest post on this thread. Good one.
posted by wfc123 at 7:49 AM on February 9, 2007

If given the option of choice, I can think of 10 other dumb blondes that I'd reather be putting my "meh" by.

But honestly, some of you (not all) are assholes and most likely, interweb assholes who get their courage from sitting behind a monitor yet meek in person.

I hope someone says better things about you in your afterlife. Or better yet, your mother/father/child.

IOW, would your crass comments still be the same if she were your dysfunctional sister/mother/daughter? Think about it, hell, shes way more respectable than most of the families that I grew up with.

. RIP, Vicki Lynn Hogan and some of you guys!
posted by winks007 at 8:01 AM on February 9, 2007

she knew the old man for years before they married (from 91--pre-Playboy and Guess, and they married in 94)
posted by amberglow at 8:12 AM on February 9, 2007

.
posted by LadyBonita at 8:30 AM on February 9, 2007

While I wish no ill on anyone, everyone gets the lives they ultimately lead.
That’s the real tragedy, what happened in her life, not her death. Everybody dies.
That said, I’ll goose her on my way past the second ring of Hell.
posted by Smedleyman at 9:26 AM on February 9, 2007

All is Vanity — Charles Allen Gilbert, 1892
posted by cenoxo at 9:39 AM on February 9, 2007

I can't believe how people are falling over themselves lest anything unkind be said of the death of some whorish, gold-digging, celebutard.

Christ, get your priorities straight.
posted by cytherea at 10:10 AM on February 9, 2007 [5 favorites]

SinisterPurpose writes "The people who die and how we react to their death truly define our time. (See Lady Diana)"

Well... count me as one of the people who does not wish to be defined as having overreacted to the sudden death of a woman who led a life of privilege, income and freedom that I will never attain. When Diana died, I was extremely pissed and despaired for humanity at the enormous outcry over this spoiled rich girl, while Mother Theresa was given virtually no press in comparison. Our values are fucked, methinks.

With Anna Nicole Smith, I feel sorry for her - she had a lot of really crappy things happen to her over the course of her life - but again, it impacts my life not a whit. Anyone making a big deal out of this is likely trying to set you up so they can sell you the commemorative trinkets so necessary to cheapen the lives of all celebrities by cashing in on their sudden demise. (See Dale Earnhardt)
posted by caution live frogs at 10:15 AM on February 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

I really don't care. However, I now reserve the right to make an FPP when someone I DO care about dies - famous or not. Odds are at least one other person out there will care as much as I do.

(well, I guess I care enough to make this snarky post).
posted by matty at 10:24 AM on February 9, 2007

Related: Death of a Young Woman.
posted by russilwvong at 10:37 AM on February 9, 2007

We don't get to choose the people who achieve iconic status in our world. I don't think any of us would have guessed, before they died, that Steve Irwin or Princess Di really had that kind of place in our cultural firmament. Anna Nicole Smith had achieved a kind of iconic status in her life and, since she died under these circumstances, she's sort of now cemented as a symbol of something perhaps unpleasant about our culture.

I do think her death does have importance if only for that reason; mourn her or no, she represents a kind of sobering truth about what we, as a society, value.

And I recognize that this may be the first time 'sober' and 'Anna Nicole Smith' were used in the same comment.

At any rate, in so much as this is a moment where an icon was annointed (and judging from the number of comments this FPP has received, I think many other people recognize this - even if they despised her) it is a valid and worthy FPP.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:41 AM on February 9, 2007

I can't believe how people are falling over themselves lest anything unkind be said of the death of some whorish, gold-digging, celebutard.

You can't believe that people are reacting with anything other than unmitigated contempt to the death of a human being? Really? Is that really, genuinely, how you feel about these things?

Christ, get your priorities straight.

cytherea, we once serendipitously collaborated in ressurrecting the <blink> tag. I'm uniquely qualified to declare you uniquely unqualified to sass mefites about priorities.
posted by cortex at 11:19 AM on February 9, 2007

And now -- Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband condesses he might be father to her child.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:50 AM on February 9, 2007

A friend writes this in his personal blog:

"One of my co-workers thinks that the infant's father is Anna Nicole's now deceased son, which is why he killed himself just after the infant was born. And that Anna Nicole killed herself because the true paternity was about to be dicovered."

This is going to get weirder and uglier, I think.

That poor little baby girl. I can only hope that whomever ends up taking care of her will love her and take good care of her. I can't help but think about Barbara Hutton. It might be for the best if this Prince Frederick von Anhalt character ends up being the father.

Of course, the worst case might be for none of these men to be the father. Who ends up with the baby then? Stern? Vickie Lynn's mother? Poor little girl. I hope she's safe and well loved right now, wherever she is.
posted by anastasiav at 1:17 PM on February 9, 2007

Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband: I could be Smith baby's father
posted by phaedon at 2:03 PM on February 9, 2007

This is going to get weirder and uglier, I think.

Yup--at work they were saying the old man's family killed the son, and her so that they got to keep the money.
posted by amberglow at 2:22 PM on February 9, 2007

that Zsa Zsa thing is insane: For much of that time, he said, Smith urged him to make her a princess like his wife.

But short of divorcing the actress, he said the only solution would have been adopting Smith. Von Anhalt said he did consider that and even filled out adoption papers, but Gabor refused to sign them.
posted by amberglow at 2:28 PM on February 9, 2007

Ye gods. I wonder how John Mark Karr is going to factor into all of this.
posted by cortex at 2:40 PM on February 9, 2007

this is just appalling: NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522% more frequently than it did Iraq. MSNBC was even worse — 708% more references to Anna Nicole than Iraq.
The lop-sided coverage largely ignored many key developments in Iraq, including the sixth downing of a U.S. helicopter in the past three weeks, the allegations that a deputy Iraqi health minister was aiding a Shiite militia in its attacks against U.S. troops, and the death of four Marines. ...
posted by amberglow at 2:42 PM on February 9, 2007

We don't get to choose the people who achieve iconic status in our world.

*turns tv off, cancels subscription to national enquirer*

this is just appalling

Dulce et decorum est pro patria whori
posted by pyramid termite at 2:57 PM on February 9, 2007

Wow. Hard to believe some of you have sisters, mothers, girlfriends, or wives.
posted by bardic at 3:29 PM on February 9, 2007

bardic writes "Wow. Hard to believe some of you have sisters, mothers, girlfriends, or wives."

So you're just assuming that all the assholes are men? Women can be assholes too, you know.

Sexist bastard.
posted by mr_roboto at 3:37 PM on February 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

No, but in a 350-comment thread about a dead Playboy model I imagine almost all of them are men.

Look, I actually saw an episode of the Anna Nicole show. I lauged. My fucking god, she was a mess. Her marriage was unconventional, to say the least, but judging other peoples' romantic situations? A very bad move, karmically.

But now she'd dead, possibly a suicide. I don't think we need to break out the sackcloth and ashes, but as ikkyu2 put it, she's damned if she did, damnded if she didn't. She went for the fame and money and career, and that makes her a "whore" to many here. Yet, if she'd stayed in small-town Texas waiting tables, and many of you had happened to run into her, my sense is that yould leave that resaurant thinking a) man, what a rack and b) what a whore, she has to be.

She tried to do what was best for herself. I don't think she should be condemned for that.
posted by bardic at 3:46 PM on February 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

My fucking god, she was a mess.

now there's an epitaph any sister, mother, girlfriend or wife would be proud to have
posted by pyramid termite at 3:55 PM on February 9, 2007

Dulce et decorum est pro patria whori

Sweet and decorous is your father the whore?
Sweet and decorous is your father's whore?
your whorish homeland? your whorish heritage?

???
posted by amberglow at 4:02 PM on February 9, 2007

And that's why it's not the epitaph I'd give her.

But really pryamid termite, let's hear more about what a "whore" she was. Does she remind you of all those gals who wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole? Those girls who are just too superficial to see the "real" pyramid termite? I'm genuinely curious.
posted by bardic at 4:04 PM on February 9, 2007

... trying to put her finger on why we watched this strange woman over the years, she came up with two things: Dysfunction. And beauty. ...
posted by amberglow at 4:04 PM on February 9, 2007

"how sweet and proper to whore for the fatherland"

And that's why it's not the epitaph I'd give her.

you just did

But really pryamid termite, let's hear more about what a "whore" she was.

as compared to what? ... the media, who would rather present celebrity gossip than report on how our soldiers are dying in iraq? ... that's one kind of whore ... here's another

"In Islam, the houri (Arabic حورية‎ ḥūrīya, pl. ḥūrīyāt), or hour-ul-‘Ein, are beautiful maidens waiting in heaven for believers."

yes, the pin up girls of the american heaven which the men regard as their due rewards and duty to desire and the women feel they must become even to the point of self-mutilation and starvation ... whoris indeed

Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori

bottom line, bardic - you just didn't get it
posted by pyramid termite at 4:25 PM on February 9, 2007

I'm pretty sure the proper Latin is ore-hay.
posted by mr_roboto at 4:41 PM on February 9, 2007

ahh...thanks, pyramid.
posted by amberglow at 4:50 PM on February 9, 2007

I don't get it? You just had to explain your own joke (which I got just fine, just thought it was lame).
posted by bardic at 4:56 PM on February 9, 2007

fandango_matt wins (his firt post).
posted by jeffburdges at 5:05 PM on February 9, 2007

No, okahy, maybe dances_with_sneetches wins.
posted by jeffburdges at 5:07 PM on February 9, 2007

I don't get it?

the problem with playing stupid is that eventually you get good at it ...

You just had to explain your own joke

amberglow did request an explanation

(which I got just fine, just thought it was lame).

we can't all come up with such brilliant pieces of rhetoric as "My fucking god, she was a mess." ... poetic, that ... and so much nicer and better than "whore"

you can knock off the hypocrisy anytime ...
posted by pyramid termite at 5:21 PM on February 9, 2007

Was it Richard Pryor or George Carlin who argued that the soul of wit is, indeed, to tell a joke which you have to go back and explain?

Did you ever see her show? She was, indeed, a mess, but managed to clean herself up afterwards (and lose a lot of weight). It seems like she fell off the wagon though.

So I'm a hypocrite? I admitted that I laughed at her at her lowest point (although she was probably laughing all the way to the bank), and that knowing what we know now I felt a little bit guilty (granted, there are far more pressing matters in the world). You called her a whore. I guess in bizarro-world that makes you a feminist and me a misogynist. Intresting that. Do you have a newsletter regarding gender politics to which I could subscribe?
posted by bardic at 5:31 PM on February 9, 2007

You called her a whore. I guess in bizarro-world that makes you a feminist and me a misogynist.

no, in bizarro world no one ever whores for anything

Do you have a newsletter regarding gender politics to which I could subscribe?

why subscribe when you could write one? ... hell, with your earnest sanctimony, i bet you could write two
posted by pyramid termite at 5:59 PM on February 9, 2007

.
posted by sadie01221975 at 6:10 PM on February 9, 2007

"Earnest sanctimony"? Your grasp of English is up there with your ability to tell jokes.

Think I'm done with you and your bullshit pyramid termite. G'nite.
posted by bardic at 6:33 PM on February 9, 2007

"Earnest sanctimony"? Your grasp of English is up there with your ability to tell jokes.

earnest

sanctimony
posted by pyramid termite at 6:44 PM on February 9, 2007

Pyramid Termite, by posting so often in a thread about somebody that you apparently loathe, who has created a media situation that cleary does (and should) irk you, you are proving my point that she has achieved something of an iconic status even for you. You hate her, but you can't stop coming back to this thread to discuss her. You've turned off your TV so you don't have to watch news about her, but keep coming back her to post your opinion about her.

I stress I am not being critical of you here - an icon can be despised just as often as he or she is adored. The fact that her death has had enough of an impact on your life that you've spent this much time on her suggests to me that this will not be the last time you think of this event. The next time the Bush administration gets away with something and nobody notices because the news is covering the latest celebrity event, you may well think of it as "an Anna Nicole Smith moment."

As I said, icon, albeit one who may be covered in your vomit.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:01 PM on February 9, 2007

You hate her, but you can't stop coming back to this thread to discuss her.

no, i don't hate her ... i have a real dislike for the role that she chose to play and the media that collaborated with her to do so ... i have an even stronger dislike for the idea of metafilter participating in this collaboration ...

but people will forget about her soon enough ...
posted by pyramid termite at 7:17 PM on February 9, 2007

I'll make a bet with you that people don't forget about her. In fact, I think that she is about to become even larger than she ever was in life. Like James Dean large.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:25 PM on February 9, 2007

That is an interesting and odd and somewhat disturbing bet, Joey Michaels. I have no idea which way I'd go on it, either.
posted by cgc373 at 7:39 PM on February 9, 2007

Her marriage was unconventional, to say the least, but judging other peoples' romantic situations? A very bad move, karmically.

This is metafilter. We discuss things, in this case Anna Nicole Smith. A big part of her fame was the marriage to an 89 year old man and her subsequent court appearances after his death. We should ignore it? This is a woman who put her whole life on camera, and we aren't speaking at her funeral. I think she married for money. Men marry for money. I didn't call her a whore, and almost no one in this thread has. But keep building that strawman.

She may married for love. I've heard enough (more than enough) to believe she didn't. But I don't really know, neither do you. I also don't know if she was kind or funny or smart. Who knows.

I don't think we need to break out the sackcloth and ashes

Agreed, but we can also refrain from turning her into a saint, from absolving her from all of her choices (which is what ikkyu2's rant did). The original comment that I responded to was saying we could "learn a thing or two from" her. Unless it's a precautionary tale, that comment baffles me.

Laugh at her all you want, she had more money and saw more of the world than you or I did.

Perhaps that was her (and societies) biggest flaw. When all your choices are ruled by the pursuit of money and fame you're going to make some not in your best interest. That you see it as a measure of worth points to her very problem.

if she'd stayed in small-town Texas waiting tables, and many of you had happened to run into her, my sense is that yould leave that resaurant thinking a) man, what a rack and b) what a whore, she has to be.

If you really believe most men look at a server with large breasts and think "she has to be a whore" you hang out with assholes. Don't put that on the rest of us.
posted by justgary at 7:56 PM on February 9, 2007

I've been to quite a few small towns in Texas over the years. I've often left a little local cafe and thought to myself "what a whore she is" but it was usually in reference to the table I was served at. I could tell you some stories about the tightest booths, the most flexible expandable tables and smooth-topped counters with a gloss like ice.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 8:25 PM on February 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

If you really believe most men look at a server with large breasts and think "she has to be a whore" you hang out with assholes.

I choose not to hang out with these types of assholes. Even in 2007, it's a deliberate decision, unfortunately. And I don't see ikkyu2's comment or any of mine as attempts at hagiography, just as simple reminders. Unlike most of us here, going to college wasn't a given for her due to circumstances. Obviously, she made plenty of mistakes with regards to drug use. There's plenty to be critical of. Deciding that spending the rest of her life in a dead-end town with a dead-end job? That's not one of them.

But like I suggested, you sound like you have the perfect marriage. Please tell us all more about it so we can learn from your shining example.
posted by bardic at 2:49 AM on February 10, 2007

So this stays up, the link about the 20 year old Marine - not so much.
That there? Them's values.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:47 AM on February 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

(related E&P)
posted by Smedleyman at 7:50 AM on February 10, 2007

Deciding that spending the rest of her life in a dead-end town with a dead-end job? That's not one of them.

Plenty of people are happy in small towns. Plenty of people are happy being servers. Plenty of people escape without making bad choices if they're not happy with either.

But then again that attitude isn't surprising coming from someone who equates life worth would the amount of money in the bank.

And you think other guys are condescending to waitresses in small towns? Jesus, look in the mirror.

But like I suggested, you sound like you have the perfect marriage. Please tell us all more about it so we can learn from your shining example.

Go troll somewhere else.
posted by justgary at 8:34 AM on February 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Watching the news coverage, it seems that even her family is happy to stomp on her grave- calling her a drug addict, a liar, etc. No wonder she was so eager to get away.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:32 AM on February 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Hmm... I didn't care about her when she was alive, and now that she's dead I still don't care about her.
posted by clevershark at 9:35 AM on February 10, 2007

I've been remembering some of my favorite things about Ms. Smith. When the trial over her right to the old man's money was going on here in Houston, she had these wonderful blase' one-liners that ran on the local news every night. They were hilarious, slow and drawn out, full of buttery Southern silliness.

She told a rather famous attorney, Rusty Hardin: "Oh Screw you Rusty," which people occasionally still say to his face when he's spotted in public.

I also liked the way she would respond to their questions when on the stand with statements like, "Stop. Yelling. At. Me." Again, really slowly spoken, heavy drawl, forcing all that was around her to revolve with her as the center.
posted by dog food sugar at 11:39 AM on February 10, 2007

Yeah, I'm kind of with clevershark and others. I find, now that she's dead, that I-- *loud, humorously lengthy farting noise*
posted by EtJabberwock at 1:05 PM on February 10, 2007

So this stays up, the link about the 20 year old Marine - not so much.
That there? Them's values.

values that the community of metafilter seems to share ... they'll protest and cry against the war, but then they'll turn around and collaborate in the media mindset that continues to support it without even thinking about it

they protest against the media, but they continue to watch it and talk about it, believing perhaps that one day it will reflect their beliefs and not other peoples'

i wonder if it's occurred to them that it might not even be possible that mass media can be progressive, by its very nature

it really is a case of values, isn't it?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:39 PM on February 10, 2007

it really is a case of values, isn't it?

Oh my yes!

In this case, her life is an absolute American morality tale. It has all of the elements that mainstream America loves in its morality tales - sex, money, illicit substances, and mysterious death at an early age.

When Joe America's daughter wants to be a model or a dancer or alter her appearance through surgery, all he has to do is reference the sad tale of Anna Nicole Smith and maybe she'll think twice about leaving the church or the small town or what have you.

In essence, she can be used as a cautionary tale by every parent with strong values in America. Her story, as framed by the media, is simple and has a moral.

Iraq? Not so simple and the moral is too disturbing for most people to comfortably think about.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:50 PM on February 10, 2007

they'll protest and cry against the war, but then they'll turn around and collaborate in the media mindset that continues to support it without even thinking about it

Ah, the infamous "they". They really suck don't they? Lousy hypocrites.

This is a pretty diverse community, PT. If you polled around you would probably find as many members that have fierce beliefs about the war and actually still walk the walk about it as those who stop by to snark on threads like this. And it doesn't necessarily mean that the latter camp is comprised of banal fools, they are just people killing time or amusing themselves with trifle.

It's pretty easy to cast aspersions when you're comfortable painting with as broad a brush as that.
posted by psmealey at 1:58 PM on February 10, 2007

If Only Doug Feith Had Big Tits--If Doug Feith looked like Courtney Love's bad dream of Marilyn Monroe, would the cable "news" networks clear their schedules when evidence of his manipulation of pre-war intelligence hit the wires? ...
posted by amberglow at 2:27 PM on February 10, 2007

Not to drag this out any further, but I am honestly curious, at what point in her life did Smith become a whore and slut?
posted by Orb at 2:35 PM on February 10, 2007

I would propose that she was neither a whore nor a slut. If we are going to label her with a perjorative tag, I would suggest "prostitute." It appears to me that she got paid or bartered for something. Whores, in my opinion, do it for free.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:11 PM on February 10, 2007

Nice. As if the misogynimeter weren't at maximum volume here already.
posted by psmealey at 3:19 PM on February 10, 2007

well, i'm glad we've got that broad brush thing straightened out anyway ...
posted by pyramid termite at 3:36 PM on February 10, 2007

The reason I ask is that I am trying to see if I should paint myself with the same broad brush that I am seeing waved around here and elsewhere on the internet and paint a giant red W for "whore" on my shirt.

Grew up in small Texas town with an undereducated, dysfunctional family? Check. Worked as a waitress slinging plates of BBQ? Check. Married and divorced young? Check. Worked as a stripper? Check. Posed for a men's magazine? Check. Had several relationships that didn't work out as planned? Check. Had a few problems with drugs? Check. Married an older man from a higher social position? Check. Up to that point, she and I are pretty much living similar lives. The only difference between she and I is that I didn't end up being a Playboy Playmate of the Year with my own TV show, my husband isn't a massively wealthy or significantly older man who has died, and I went to college with my stripper cash and got an education.

So, if Smith is a slut, whore or prostitute for using what she had available to her (her looks and ability to charm men) to get what she wanted from life, then I guess I am too. Except I don't see myself that way, and I don't see Smith that way either. I see her as someone an awful lot like me except she made a few different choices, had a few different opportunities, and didn't see when she was getting used. Or maybe she did see it and it didn't matter, because she was getting what she thought she wanted out of life. I just don't see why she gets labeled with all these negative things, because we all do things and give away our abilities, skills, looks, whatever to get what we want out of life, which makes us all whores, prostitutes and sluts.
posted by Orb at 4:12 PM on February 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Orb writes "Not to drag this out any further, but I am honestly curious, at what point in her life did Smith become a whore and slut?"

Well, she was a woman, and she was pretty. I think most people just assume.
posted by graventy at 4:15 PM on February 10, 2007

A poor woman with few educational opportunities who makes it big with her looks is a whore, slut, prostitute. A guy who does it with his body by becoming a sports star is an American Icon, Paragon of the American Dream, All Around Great person.

Oh, and if you spend time finding some deeply contradictory issues with American culture in this story, you can't possibly care about Iraq according to pyramid termite. And if you find yourself in a small town with few opportunities, as a woman, and don't take initiative with any of them, that's the "way you should live" according to justgary. Ideally, barefoot and pregnant as well.

Hard to believe these attitudes still exist.
posted by bardic at 4:23 PM on February 10, 2007

I just don't see why she gets labeled with all these negative things, because we all do things and give away our abilities, skills, looks, whatever to get what we want out of life, which makes us all whores, prostitutes and sluts.

and so calling her a whore in a metaphorical off hand sense isn't really an insult but a comment on our society, isn't it?

which, if you consider the context carefully, was my meaning

certainly, if you can call 300 million of us whores, i can mention that one of us and the media that cover us are

Hard to believe these attitudes still exist.

still trolling, bardic? ... i thought i was in the nether regions of your subconsious, wailing and gnashing my teeth in the shadow of your earnest sanctimony, being studiously ignored in a wallow of self-righteousness

and if you do find yourself in a small town, bardic, try not to talk to the residents as if they're a bunch of ignorant hicks living in a cross between dante's inferno and peyton place, you prejudiced idiot

besides ... YOU'RE the one who smells like burning straw
posted by pyramid termite at 5:06 PM on February 10, 2007

Lol. No pyramid termite, I'm not a troll. But I'm obviously someone who makes you uncomfortable by confronting you with your own bullshit.

And again with "earnest sanctimony"? Which is it? Do I bother you because you think I'm making shit up (being sanctimonious) or because I'm overly focused on the fact that many people still have bullshit ideas regarding gender (my earnestness)?

How have I said anything bad about people in small towns? The fact is, there aren't many of them left because teenagers don't tend to like living in them. If they can make a life for themselves, great, but the fact is it's tough. She, for one, wanted to get out, and she did, using her physical assets. In your ca. 1950's eyes, this makes her a "whore." You said that, not me. You still haven't taken it back. Fine. People can draw their conclusions as to whether I'm a "troll." People can also draw conclusions as to your highly unhealthy attitudes about women. Bully.
posted by bardic at 5:56 PM on February 10, 2007

Looking back, I referred to "dead-end towns." This has obviously offended the delicate sensibilities of mr. pyramid termite, so let me re-phrase -- small towns where the opportunities for career advancement are limited.
posted by bardic at 6:06 PM on February 10, 2007

i'm obviously someone who makes you uncomfortable

a dog who pisses on people's legs in the living room makes people uncomfortable - it's nothing to be proud of

She, for one, wanted to get out, and she did, using her physical assets. In your ca. 1950's eyes, this makes her a "whore."

that's not the argument i made ... in fact, i didn't make an argument, i presented an image of a n s, but more importantly, the media "whoring" for their fatherland

you got into a self-righteous snit about it

People can draw their conclusions as to whether I'm a "troll."

i'm not the first person who accused you of that in this thread

People can also draw conclusions as to your highly unhealthy attitudes about women.

or they can draw conclusions as to the rationality of you claiming i hate ALL women because i make a passing remark about ONE woman's role (and the media that cover her and the similarity of that role to islamic mythology), one that you claim was a "mess" who used her "physical assets"

you're just playing games with language ... a language, judging from the lack of vocabulary and cultural literacy you've already exhibited, that you have trouble dealing with unless it's on the level of a reality show or the national enquirer

small towns where the opportunities for career advancement are limited.

it's 30 miles from waco, and about 80 from dallas ... here is at least one person who's commuting to dallas from the area

go to this site catering to the dallas real estate market and see that the search form on the left includes mexia as one of the communities ... and they've got 3 listings right now

in short, you're talking as if it's out in the middle of nowhere with nothing at all going for it when lots of opportunities exist close by

thus exhibiting geographical ignorance, also

come back when you learn what you're talking about ... bye
posted by pyramid termite at 6:54 PM on February 10, 2007

Like Joey Michaels said, I'm just glad you didn't get too involved in this thread pyramid termite. You know, doing some research at carpool.com, looking into the Dallas real-estate market, nothing obssesive like that.
posted by bardic at 7:22 PM on February 10, 2007

FWIW, I don't especially think of her as a whore, slut, or prostitute. I think of her, as I've mentioned, as an Icon and write that with no attached positive or negative commentary - to me, it is an apparent fact.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:22 AM on February 11, 2007

sic transit pornia mundi

By which you mean sic transit meretrix mundi, surely?

And I might add, de mortuis nil nisi bonum.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:03 AM on February 11, 2007

write that with no attached positive or negative commentary - to me, it is an apparent fact.

Of course, because it's not like the words you chose are laden with overwhelmingly negative, misogynistic baggage or anything. They're simply clinical words, right?
posted by psmealey at 7:23 AM on February 11, 2007

Of course they are laden with misognynistic baggage.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:54 AM on February 11, 2007

Anna Nicole fans skip flowers, hit the Web -- "Gossip, vigils fill sites; meanwhile, sources say Smith recently had surgery."
posted by ericb at 12:24 PM on February 11, 2007

Anna's Death Fridge -- Methadone and Slim-Fast
posted by ericb at 1:21 PM on February 11, 2007

And if you find yourself in a small town with few opportunities, as a woman, and don't take initiative with any of them, that's the "way you should live" according to justgary. Ideally, barefoot and pregnant as well.

If you're not a troll bardic, please point to where I said this. But then you've been ranting about her being called a whore when very few here have. Either your reading comprehension is lacking or you're an idiot.

You have serious problems with females bardic. I suggest therapy. Lots of it.
posted by justgary at 7:38 PM on February 12, 2007

And just in case it was reading comprehension, I think far higher of females than you bardic. I simply find your opinion that a chain smoking woman in a small town couldn't be happy obnoxious, but that condescending attitude goes right along with your success equals he/she with the most money drivel.

I think higher of smith than you because I think she could have taken another road. You think she had no other choice. I think she was better than that. I think she was capable of more. When I say more, I don't mean fame, or money, I mean happiness.

But she didn't want success. She wanted fame. And when you go for fame and aren't prepared to handle it, you can get eaten alive, man or woman. She could live ten times and I don't think the result would change, because that was her. I don't blame her, it's her life, but unlike ikkyu2, I don't blame everyone else.

Going back to the beginning, my question was regarding amberglow's "we could learn a few things from her". No one, including you, have ever answered that question. You've never answered any comment I've actually made. Nothing you've attributed to me even comes close to what I've said. I have no idea why I let you drag me into your nonsensical trolling, but it won't happen again.
posted by justgary at 8:08 PM on February 12, 2007

amberglow's "we could learn a few things from her". No one, including you, have ever answered that question.

It's pretty obvious, no? She followed her dreams, she picked herself up--child in tow and not even a HS Diploma--and moved herself out of her hometown, she took risks, she took advantage of opportunities that presented themselves,...

All without destroying others (to our knowledge), or being a horrid bitch or nasty or looking down on others, or at all a monster, even tho many others who get even a tenth of her fame do so. She was a decent person--even when the whole world mocked and derided her, and that fame seemed to be gone. She got herself work, she wrote for tabloids too, she had a hit show, she even did charity stuff for PETA, she had love, she had fun...

I think it's called dignity and integrity and decency maybe (which sounds strange to use describing a former stripper and playboy playmate who always came off as either drunk or high, but she had it).
posted by amberglow at 7:28 AM on February 13, 2007

And i'll add that a lot of suburbs nowadays were just small hick towns in the early 80s--they didn't really become suburban for quite a while. I'll bet everyone knew about her and her kid and dropping out of school, and many had probably already written her off forever. Her own mother's comments after the death paint an ugly picture of what attitudes were like.
posted by amberglow at 7:35 AM on February 13, 2007

I don't know, I think one could justifiably conclude that gold-digging is a form of long-term whoring. Then again, so is most employment. Perhaps we should just take it as a given that there's a general level of "whoring" that exists among all people, and save the "whore" assessment for people who are literally whores.
posted by EtJabberwock at 2:59 PM on February 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm sorry, I was mistaken when I called her a useless golddigging whore. It's becoming clear that she was a great mother and all around swell person.
posted by keswick at 4:18 PM on February 14, 2007

keswick, it's hard to believe all the weird stuff coming out now--and the methadone and stuff could have been for the son, no?

I don't buy the keeping the baby skinny thing at all--is that former nanny looking for money for her story? Was she paid for it? All the vultures are circling now, smelling green.
posted by amberglow at 9:12 PM on February 14, 2007

Oh for the love of all that is good and shiny, can we let this thing go? Yes. A woman who was objectively lovely died under mysterious circumstances. And that is the full sum of what we know. I've heard that major news outlets gave this story the better part of an hour with no commercial interruptions. Bear in mind, that these are news outlets that totally and completely subsist on the power of what they can sell us.

So let me say it again for the cheap seats:

This is not news worthy! This is not worth a 400+ thread. She was, at the best of times, a pretty and deeply flawed woman. She did nothing more than what she needed to do to survive, and for that she will be commended/ scorned for her behavior. But this story is worth nothing more than a day's press.

Honestly, we need to move beyond the whole 'pretty blond dies' thing.

Now, if it can be definitively proved that foul play was involved, then yes. That is a story. But Hottie Dies! is not the best of the news or of MeFi.
posted by quin at 11:25 PM on February 14, 2007

But we're over 400, now, quin. We may as well have as much fun as we can. So, I suggest Hottie Lives! as a compromise.
posted by cgc373 at 11:29 PM on February 14, 2007

People are still talking about it at my office--it's all the weirder and weirder new revelations.

And when i see continuing appalling shit like this, I'll continue to hold Anna Nicole up as a far better example of humanity and decency: Through out the video, she is mocking African Americans by claiming “I’m black and I steal.” Paris Hilton is also heard verbally degrading other group of people other than African Americans in the video, she is heard saying, “blacks … bitch … ni_ … I steal … whore … slut … Jew … I got fucked in the butt for coke … poor desperate blacks … I’m black and I steal.”
posted by amberglow at 8:15 AM on February 15, 2007

Is there any way to get a thread off your "my comments" page? Every time I think I've finally forgotten about this Anna Nicole Smith thing, it keeps on coming back to annoy me.
posted by tehloki at 3:58 PM on February 15, 2007

Y'know, I sympathize (I mentioned it above), but I've taken it as an abject lesson in why I shouldn't comment on newsfilter.
Plus, though I thought about taking it to MeTa, I'm thinking about planning a meetup soon, and I don't want to waste my post over there.
posted by klangklangston at 4:22 PM on February 15, 2007

an abject lesson: hee hee hee.
posted by cgc373 at 10:04 PM on February 15, 2007

I meant what I said ;)
posted by klangklangston at 11:20 PM on February 15, 2007

No argument amberglow. Anna Nicole was a train wreck. Paris Hilton is a train wreck that got hit by a jumbo jet, and then flattened by some sort of steam type rolling device. And then there were dogs. Many dogs that ate off the arms and legs of all the victims involved.

Ms. Hilton is an honest to god, bad person, and the real tragedy here is that the wrong woman died.

And now, for the love of all that is good and bright, can this thread please die...
posted by quin at 12:07 AM on February 16, 2007 [2 favorites]

I hear ya, tehloki.

It's like she's haunting us from...

BEYOND THE GRAVE!
posted by oxford blue at 1:47 AM on February 16, 2007

Awesome Paris Hilton link, Amberglow. She looks like she's about 50 years old in that shot. It's only going to get worse from here. Good times, good times.
posted by psmealey at 3:49 AM on February 16, 2007 [1 favorite]

"I just don't see why she gets labeled with all these negative things, because we all do things and give away our abilities, skills, looks, whatever to get what we want out of life, which makes us all whores, prostitutes and sluts." - posted by Orb

Well, if you fuck for money...then yeah. Which many people seem to think she did. I'd have to agree that marrying an old, old man because he's wealthy would be whorish. Yeah. But maybe it didn't go down that way.

Still - insofar as getting what one wants. My abilities and skills are such that I've been courted by some very powerful organizations which could have given me a great many things that many people seem to want from life. Certainly not fame, but I'd probably have seen much more money than Anna Nicole. But I didn't go for it. Not because of what it would have made me. I don't really mind being called anything in particular.
But for two reasons #1 - I can't be my own man and someone else's too. And #2 - if you use your ability, talent, skill, intellect, whatever gifts you have, to get what you want instead of investing in yourself - how do you know what's the best thing to have in life?

She seemed to like using her money to go to strip clubs, live in gaudy hotels, and drinking and doing drugs and buying - crap. I'm not criticising her for a life of excess (although I could).
But I'm still an young man and I know better that these are not the best things in life.
(yeah, yeah, I used to think it was "crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women," but I grew up a bit).
posted by Smedleyman at 10:09 PM on February 16, 2007

i can't believe you guys are still talking about this ... there are important, earth-shattering events in our times that will forever stay in our hearts and minds as harbingers of a new age, that will sear our souls and forever change the way we live

for example - the youth of america will never be the same
posted by pyramid termite at 9:14 AM on February 17, 2007

holeeee shit.
posted by keswick at 10:44 AM on February 17, 2007

From the Dept. of the Obvious:
Human Compassion Surprisingly Limited, Study Finds

Britney's really falling apart--she should get herself into a recording studio or something instead of nonstop partying, maybe.
posted by amberglow at 11:56 AM on February 17, 2007

Spears probably needs to fall somewhat farther, amberglow, before any sort of comeback album, or the album will be treated the way K-Fed's was, as a product of desperation and vanity.
posted by cgc373 at 1:36 PM on February 17, 2007

It's great that pyramid termite's shorn Britney sighting 400+ comments into this thread was posted to the front page a few minutes ago, and promptly, nay, immediately deleted.
posted by cgc373 at 4:17 PM on February 17, 2007

i agree ... that's why i posted it here and not the front page
posted by pyramid termite at 4:53 PM on February 17, 2007

The Anna Nicole Smith Case --...In a sense this story is like one of those fairy tales. It teaches a lesson to the innocent. Of course it is not always very clear who the "really stupid" person might be in these stories and perhaps it is the American public, for agreeing to focus on something which has no actual relevance in our lives.
But there is a psychological benefit to these sorts of fairy tales, not only in the education one gets but also in the way these stories, when about rich people, let us pretend that they are not ultimately worth envying, that our own lives are at least a little more ordered than what we see, hear and read about poor Ms. Smith. ...
Turn the case a little, and a different explanation for the interest pops up: A morality tale. A woman trading on her looks and sexuality climbs up the ladder made out of men and look what happens to her? -- I also see, darkly, another morality tale about an old man buying young wives but that one isn't as interesting. ...
posted by amberglow at 3:54 AM on February 18, 2007

Anna Nicole's other life
posted by amberglow at 9:27 PM on February 23, 2007

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