Copernicus, shmopernicus.

September 19, 2007 7:54 PM

The Flat Earth Society considers the notion of a round earth to be a conspiracy. Flat earthers turn to the Bible to support their claims. A map of the flat earth (oddly similar to the UN logo), where

N is the central open sea, I, the circular wall or barrier of ice, L, the masses of land tending southwards, W, the "waters of the great deep," surrounding the land, S, the southern boundary of ice, and D, the outer gloom and darkness, in which the material world is lost to human perception.

A 3D view of the Zetetic universe.
You know who else thought the earth was round?
posted by desjardins (39 comments total)

Yay, that means GPS and XM radio doesn't work!
posted by eriko at 7:58 PM on September 19, 2007

Well, it obviously wasn't Pope Innocent III.
You know who thinks it's hollow and expanding?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:00 PM on September 19, 2007

Some Hollywood executive should pay to have these twits flown around the world. It would make for briefly entertaining reality tv.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:06 PM on September 19, 2007 [3 favorites]

When I was a kid, I would pick some more or less flat place and lie face down, arms spread, and try to "feel" the curvature of the earth.

Alternatively, lying on your back on a dark, clear night somewhere quiet for a long, long time and watching the stars roll by, the very obviously round, tiny mote of Earth spinning quite frantically on that scale, rushing quickly around our small sun. On a real quiet night, you can damn near feel the slight wobble of the polar precession.

Still do, sometimes.
posted by loquacious at 8:10 PM on September 19, 2007 [5 favorites]

Of course, you'd have to fly them around the north pole and then around the south to show them it takes the same amount of time, otherwise they'd insist you were flying in circles.
Of course, they'd probably insist the flight around the south pole was in a much faster jet...
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:10 PM on September 19, 2007

Earth, round? What?
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:12 PM on September 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

These things can be difficult for people.
posted by caddis at 8:14 PM on September 19, 2007

The Flat-Earthers are begging for the taste of the taser.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:16 PM on September 19, 2007

I'll say.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:16 PM on September 19, 2007

Good thing the Flat Earthers released that map.. it explains why Aerolineas Argentinas flights from Buenos Aires to Sydney take 75 hours.
posted by antipasta_explosion at 8:21 PM on September 19, 2007

So am I to understand that the idea of a round Earth fell flat on these people?
posted by three blind mice at 8:22 PM on September 19, 2007

Wow, that Neal Adams rabbithole of craziness runs deep. What a nutbar.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 8:22 PM on September 19, 2007

Less poetically: This is really stupid stuff. By merely skimmimg the titles of the Flat Earth forums I'm wrestling with incredible urges to pluck out my own eyes and hollow out my own brain with a spoon.
posted by loquacious at 8:22 PM on September 19, 2007

Alvy beat me to a mention of one of my favorite quack topics -- hollow earth theories.

One cool thing about the idea of a hollow earth is that, unlike a flat earth, we might be able to make a hollow earth.
posted by treepour at 8:22 PM on September 19, 2007

I'm convinced they don't really think the earth is flat; instead, they're just trying to make a point. Now all that's left is to figure out what their point actually is.
posted by goatdog at 8:29 PM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

I had encountered that site before but I always assumed it was a hoax. Perhaps that assumption was just my brain defending itself against a critical mass of idiocy?
posted by aldurtregi at 8:33 PM on September 19, 2007

You know who else thought the earth was round?

Hitler.

And he was right.
posted by Avenger at 8:34 PM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

goatdog, I think they're essentially like any other conspiracy theorists; this is just their tack on What The Big Bad Government Is Keeping From Us. If it weren't this, it'd be 9/11 conspiracies, or Elders of Zion stuff.
posted by desjardins at 8:35 PM on September 19, 2007

There aren't actually any countries outside the US, you know. It's all pretend.
posted by blacklite at 8:38 PM on September 19, 2007

You can't fool me... it's turtles all the way down.
posted by deCadmus at 8:40 PM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Pfft, everyone knows that the world is a flat disc supported by four elephants on the back of an astrochelonian. Duh.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:43 PM on September 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

Here's another map.

Also, I'm guessing that the awesomeness that is this post was probably inspired from here.
posted by quin at 8:48 PM on September 19, 2007

It helps to orient yourself by looking for America's wang.
posted by stavrogin at 8:50 PM on September 19, 2007

For a second, I thought that this was a Thomas Dolby post. His site used to be called "The Flat Earth Society."
posted by The White Hat at 8:50 PM on September 19, 2007

So does the belief in a flat earth indicate for a defective brain, or just a defective upbringing?
posted by davejay at 9:01 PM on September 19, 2007

You know who else thought the earth was round?

Hitler.

You sure about that?

Presented for entertainment purposes only, of course.
posted by gimonca at 9:04 PM on September 19, 2007

For a second, I thought this was a Bad Religion post.
posted by Roman Graves at 9:15 PM on September 19, 2007

My brain is refusing to even consider that these people are serious. I mean, I read Paranoia Magazine from time to time but the forums are seriously headache inducing.

One of the commenters, Tom Bishop, replies to pictures taken at an altitude of 100 miles with this:

From the foot of space one hundred miles up over a Flat Earth you are looking down at a circle.

Hence, you will see an elliptical horizon. If the earth were a globe the curve of the horizon from the footstep of space would form an arc of a circle.

I need to go lie down now.
posted by Kattullus at 9:24 PM on September 19, 2007

So... the earth is inside a giant diaphram?
posted by Artw at 9:54 PM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

The flat earth society has always been meant for humor.

Kind of like the 'moon shot videos were faked' crowd, or those people who add comments to obvious Youtube pranks saying "it's true, I saw it myself." It is more fun to make it elaborate (the flat earth society has been around for decades) and never, ever let on or crack a smile. It is even better if you can actually convince a few non-thinkers to actually believe it.

Creationists, on the other hand....
posted by eye of newt at 11:00 PM on September 19, 2007

eye of newt, that's a relief. I've always wanted a "The Earth is flat" T-shirt, though, if there is such a thing.
posted by Harald74 at 12:19 AM on September 20, 2007

From the forums:

>If you want to see a Flat Earth just look out your window.
What if I see mountains?
------------
>If you want to see a Flat Earth just look out your window.
hey guys look at your window and OH MY GOD THE WORLD IS RECTANGULAR
------------
HEY GUYS I CANT FALL OFF THE EARTH SOMETHING IS WRONG
posted by null terminated at 12:31 AM on September 20, 2007

The flat earth society has always been meant for humor.

Yeah, I always thought it was either a massive spoof, or parts of it were half joking. Probably most of the members of the FES joined up for a joke, with the rest made up of hard core mentals and forteans making some kind of (meta) philosophical point. Anyway, it’s an ace idea and a gorgeous exercise in properly sophistical argument. If it didn’t exist the world would be less rich (and, indeed, flatter).
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 1:11 AM on September 20, 2007

It took me a while to find this since that other flat-earth post the other day -- Asimov , The Relativity of Wrong:

... The young specialist in English Lit, having quoted me, went on to lecture me severely on the fact that in every century people have thought they understood the universe at last, and in every century they were proved to be wrong. It follows that the one thing we can say about our modern "knowledge" is that it is wrong. The young man then quoted with approval what Socrates had said on learning that the Delphic oracle had proclaimed him the wisest man in Greece. "If I am the wisest man," said Socrates, "it is because I alone know that I know nothing." the implication was that I was very foolish because I was under the impression I knew a great deal.

My answer to him was, "John, when people thought the earth was flat, they were wrong. When people thought the earth was spherical, they were wrong. But if you think that thinking the earth is spherical is just as wrong as thinking the earth is flat, then your view is wronger than both of them put together."

Also, if the Bible is the inspiration and proof of a flat earth, shouldn't Jerusalem be at the center?
posted by moonbiter at 2:18 AM on September 20, 2007

The Village that Voted the Earth was Flat.
posted by emf at 5:19 AM on September 20, 2007

I give them due points for perseverance.

OK, now, can we safely kill the lot of them? It seems like it might be a good idea.
posted by aramaic at 6:03 AM on September 20, 2007

HA! I am glad to see there are a bunch of Dolby fans commenting on this.
posted by munchingzombie at 8:42 AM on September 20, 2007

If the earth is flat, how did Superman turn back time!?

Huh? Huh?
posted by Dantien at 9:21 AM on September 20, 2007

if love is all you're missing,
Look into your heart.
Is anybody home ?
posted by ZachsMind at 1:27 PM on September 21, 2007