Press the pound key if you would like a pearl necklace

December 12, 2007 5:55 PM

Phone sex in these modern times. A short YouTube bit. Language NSFW
posted by Tommy Gnosis (24 comments total)

Please remain erect. Your call is important to us.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:02 PM on December 12, 2007 [3 favorites]

I've been using the over the phone billing options all wrong. This changes everything. Press 1 for Randy.
posted by nola at 6:07 PM on December 12, 2007

[IB's wife]

I so want to make a listing like this.
posted by InnocentBystander at 6:15 PM on December 12, 2007

if you work at a phone sex center and prematurely drop a call, is it a firing offense?
posted by bruce at 6:21 PM on December 12, 2007

that homosexuality stuff is so gross. That poor guy.
posted by bonaldi at 6:22 PM on December 12, 2007

Finally! A YouTube post worth clicking on. Too funny.
posted by empatterson at 6:22 PM on December 12, 2007

and there is this.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 6:27 PM on December 12, 2007 [2 favorites]

and there is this.

Amateurs.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:34 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

that homosexuality stuff is so gross.

Seriously, is it really bigoted or homophobic if the idea of having sex yourself with another man or men turns you off? I think that stretches the limits of political correctness past the point of absurdity.
posted by Tommy Gnosis at 6:42 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

"if you work at a phone sex center and prematurely drop a call, is it a firing offense?"

Not if you do it once, or you do it under certain specified parameters.

But otherwise? Yes.
posted by InnocentBystander at 6:53 PM on December 12, 2007

It is homophobic not to want to have gay sex. I have it all the time to remind myself that I don't especially like it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:08 PM on December 12, 2007

Truly, freedom means that a man can put his hand up another man's ass, and also that I can find it hilarious.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:19 PM on December 12, 2007

NSFW, by the way.
posted by Bookhouse at 7:19 PM on December 12, 2007

if the idea of having sex yourself with another man or men turns you off?
there's a difference between "turns you off" and "OH GOD NO WHAT EUGH A VOICE SAID IT HAD COME ON ME ARGH GADZOOKS YUCK".

I actually expected it to start turning him on. It would have gone equally funny places.
posted by bonaldi at 7:20 PM on December 12, 2007

I find it especially funny, actually, since at least 25% of my callers would love this sort of thing. Many of them are specifically seeking "forced bi" fantasies or hypnosis leading to feminization or being forced to interact sexually with another man. See, it's not gay if a woman tells you to do it. That's totally hetero!
posted by InnocentBystander at 7:26 PM on December 12, 2007 [1 favorite]

Gosh, I never would've guessed that a youtube video about phone sex might not be appropriate for viewing at the office, THANK YOU bookhouse! You've saved my job!!!!
posted by ook at 7:31 PM on December 12, 2007

Oh wait, never mind. Now I am stupid.
posted by ook at 7:32 PM on December 12, 2007

Very funny! Good bellylaughs.

It's Every Cuss Word We Know by the same guys who created Auto Phone Sex, Stuckey and Murray l www.stuckeyandmurray.com l about them l their other videos.
posted by nickyskye at 8:02 PM on December 12, 2007

I actually expected it to start turning him on. It would have gone equally funny places.

Indeed, he could have hung up at any time.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:06 PM on December 12, 2007

At $4.95 a minute or whatever it does seem to strain credulity that the caller would stay on the line.
posted by Wolof at 9:57 PM on December 12, 2007

Indeed, he could have hung up at any time.

What, and have to start ALL OVER AGAIN at the beginning? Never.
posted by rokusan at 10:38 PM on December 12, 2007

for straight vanilla sex, press 1
for intermediate complexity straight sex, press 2
for advanced straight sex with multiple partners and objects, press 3
for entry-level gay sex, press 4
for gay sex with dildos, buttplugs and sylvester/tweety bird cartoons, press 5
for a mixed gay/straight orgy in a heated swimming pool with the lights off, press 6
for bondage/discipline where a leather jumpsuited dom lashes your naked body with a car antenna, press 7
for an intimate encounter on quaaludes with a young but ready kangaroo ten feet up a tree, press 8
to reach an operator, press 9
posted by bruce at 1:11 AM on December 13, 2007 [1 favorite]

What about appliance sex?

FZ's disappointed.
posted by ersatz at 6:44 AM on December 13, 2007

* presses 8 *
posted by no_moniker at 7:39 AM on December 13, 2007