Chuck Norris: Meme-Killer!
December 22, 2007 9:00 AM Subscribe
Chuck Norris: meme-killer! Chuck Norris can kill a meme so effectively that the effect actually reaches back to the beginning of time and makes the meme retroactively uncool.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- loup
chuck norris can sue you so hard you won't even be able to keep the bubble gum you're chewing
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by pyramid termite at 9:07 AM on December 22, 2007
This is what happens when the head penguin of Penguin books gets his legal advice from AskMe.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007 [6 favorites]
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007 [6 favorites]
Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live." It's funny. It's cute. But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real.
Holy lord, that's more absurd than any Chuck Norris joke I've ever heard.
I understand his beef, what with the publishers looking to trade on his likeness, but this meme has probably been mostly to his benefit. Endorsements like this are likely a direct result.
posted by EatTheWeek at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007 [2 favorites]
Holy lord, that's more absurd than any Chuck Norris joke I've ever heard.
I understand his beef, what with the publishers looking to trade on his likeness, but this meme has probably been mostly to his benefit. Endorsements like this are likely a direct result.
posted by EatTheWeek at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007 [2 favorites]
Frankly, from the last link there, he seems pretty cool with the whole thing (or at least he was before the book was published). The column gets a bit very God-heavy, but I think this:
Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of "Chuck Norris Facts." It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career.
is a good way to look at the whole thing (boyzone implications aside). Maybe if God had give Chuck better business advice, he would have published the book himself (and maybe could have snuck a few pro-Jeebus ones in there -- Chuck Norris believes in God, but God believes in Chuck Norris, too -- et cetera).
posted by Rock Steady at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007
Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of the craze of "Chuck Norris Facts." It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I'm so grateful for my fans. Who knows, maybe these one liners will prompt some one to seek out the real facts about me and the beliefs that have shaped my life and my career.
is a good way to look at the whole thing (boyzone implications aside). Maybe if God had give Chuck better business advice, he would have published the book himself (and maybe could have snuck a few pro-Jeebus ones in there -- Chuck Norris believes in God, but God believes in Chuck Norris, too -- et cetera).
posted by Rock Steady at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2007
Chuck Norris has surpassed Christopher Walken as the easy-way-out punchline for unfunny people.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:15 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 9:15 AM on December 22, 2007
Chuck Norris can kick you so hard you fly all the way back to November 18, 2007!
(This isn't technically a double, I know, but...can you have too much Chuck? I think so, though others clearly do not; his endorsement is the only explanation I see for the Mike Huckabee surge, sad as that is.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:16 AM on December 22, 2007
(This isn't technically a double, I know, but...can you have too much Chuck? I think so, though others clearly do not; his endorsement is the only explanation I see for the Mike Huckabee surge, sad as that is.)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 9:16 AM on December 22, 2007
No, you're thinking of "More Cowbell!"
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:16 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:16 AM on December 22, 2007
Oh, wait...that was Christopher Walken.
I think I've hit a new MeFi low...
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:17 AM on December 22, 2007
I think I've hit a new MeFi low...
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:17 AM on December 22, 2007
Chuck Norris is so stupid he thinks creationism is real.
posted by JHarris at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2007 [17 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2007 [17 favorites]
FWIW, I'd love it if the prosecution used some of these facts in the cross examination.
"Sir, you acknowledge that you published this book, '400 facts about Chuck Norris', am I right?"
"Yes, I did."
"Could you read the highlighted text please"
" 'Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits' "
"Now is this the kind of man that you, in good conscience, would want to raise the ire of? Can you honestly say that you did not expect to find yourself in this courtroom today, if not in much more dire circumstances, as a result of your actions?"
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:25 AM on December 22, 2007 [7 favorites]
"Sir, you acknowledge that you published this book, '400 facts about Chuck Norris', am I right?"
"Yes, I did."
"Could you read the highlighted text please"
" 'Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits' "
"Now is this the kind of man that you, in good conscience, would want to raise the ire of? Can you honestly say that you did not expect to find yourself in this courtroom today, if not in much more dire circumstances, as a result of your actions?"
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:25 AM on December 22, 2007 [7 favorites]
This isn't very surprising that, at one stage, it was harmless fun - on a website and in college humourland. But now people are trying to use his image, reputation and fame to line their own pockets.
Hardly surprising he's not pleased. I'm sure he'd be more good humoured about it if they'd cut him in (and, let's face it, even consulted him from the start!) and said that they wanted to publish the book.
They've just taken this too far, and they are getting their wrists slapped. I'm sure if he was allowed to remove the quotes that offend him and get a chunk of the royalties, it'll all go away.
posted by Brockles at 9:41 AM on December 22, 2007 [1 favorite]
Hardly surprising he's not pleased. I'm sure he'd be more good humoured about it if they'd cut him in (and, let's face it, even consulted him from the start!) and said that they wanted to publish the book.
They've just taken this too far, and they are getting their wrists slapped. I'm sure if he was allowed to remove the quotes that offend him and get a chunk of the royalties, it'll all go away.
posted by Brockles at 9:41 AM on December 22, 2007 [1 favorite]
A friend of mine got a C&D from Chuck Norris about a T-shirt he was selling. The problem was the rest of the shirts on his site, which were pretty offensive. It's not surprising that he would go after people who published a book without his consent, using his likeness, etc. Especially since the book is just lifting other people's jokes anyway.
posted by delmoi at 9:45 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by delmoi at 9:45 AM on December 22, 2007
Now if he could please kill the actual word "meme".
posted by wfc123 at 9:55 AM on December 22, 2007 [6 favorites]
posted by wfc123 at 9:55 AM on December 22, 2007 [6 favorites]
Chuck Norris does not meme, he maims.
There, that should do it.
posted by interrobang at 10:01 AM on December 22, 2007
There, that should do it.
posted by interrobang at 10:01 AM on December 22, 2007
Chuckabee doesn't win elections, he just roundhouse kicks our souls into submission.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:22 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:22 AM on December 22, 2007
Yeah, two-thirds of this post have been here before.
posted by EarBucket at 10:26 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by EarBucket at 10:26 AM on December 22, 2007
Pssst. Memes don't exist. Pass it on.
Or Chuck Norris will kill you.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:48 AM on December 22, 2007 [2 favorites]
Or Chuck Norris will kill you.
posted by Happy Dave at 10:48 AM on December 22, 2007 [2 favorites]
Ok, so Huckabee and Norris want to trade their political endorsement on the IP of others. IP that was generated in what is clearly parody. That's ok.
However, trading on that IP (though clearly parody and clearly not real Chuck Norris) is not acceptable and deserves legal manhandling.
Enter the current Right Wing mindset of "we do whatever the fuck we want and the rest of you can fuck off."
posted by shagoth at 10:48 AM on December 22, 2007
However, trading on that IP (though clearly parody and clearly not real Chuck Norris) is not acceptable and deserves legal manhandling.
Enter the current Right Wing mindset of "we do whatever the fuck we want and the rest of you can fuck off."
posted by shagoth at 10:48 AM on December 22, 2007
But now people are trying to use his image, reputation and fame to line their own pockets.
He's a public figure, for chrissakes; of course people have a right to "to use his image, reputation and fame to line their own pockets." I have before me a copy (near-mint condition) of Quotations from Chairman LBJ, a charming 1968 publication designed to look like the Little Red Book, and I guarantee you LBJ didn't authorize it. He should suck it up and live with the results of his fame; the odd thing is that the article by him makes it seem like he was actually doing that. I guess some celebrity-hustling lawyer got to him and put $$ in his eyes. Just speculation! Don't sue me, Chuck!
posted by languagehat at 11:07 AM on December 22, 2007
He's a public figure, for chrissakes; of course people have a right to "to use his image, reputation and fame to line their own pockets." I have before me a copy (near-mint condition) of Quotations from Chairman LBJ, a charming 1968 publication designed to look like the Little Red Book, and I guarantee you LBJ didn't authorize it. He should suck it up and live with the results of his fame; the odd thing is that the article by him makes it seem like he was actually doing that. I guess some celebrity-hustling lawyer got to him and put $$ in his eyes. Just speculation! Don't sue me, Chuck!
posted by languagehat at 11:07 AM on December 22, 2007
The whole meme was about how he fabricated this heroic persona in his films and the tv series, when actually he's just a glorified stunt man with some martial arts experience under his belt. There was more truth to the lies behind legends like Buffalo Bill and Annie Oakley.
Chuck Norris does know we were kidding right? I mean, he isn't buying into all this really, is he? Does he honestly think that because of that whole meme business, people actually care whether or not he believes in evolution, or wants to know for whom he plans to vote?
Have you guys seen Ashlee Simpson's recent video where she goes crazy due to her own alleged 'celebrity' status? It was very disturbing, even for her. Everything she does is disturbing, but this was over the top. Should these actions by pseudo-celebrities like Norris & Simpson be considered artistic statements, or cries for help?
Maybe there should be a moratorium on allowing celebrities access to the Internet. They really don't need to know what we're saying about them: that we're essentially laughing at them all behind their backs. I don't think they have what it takes to stomach it without going completely and utterly mad.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:14 AM on December 22, 2007
Chuck Norris does know we were kidding right? I mean, he isn't buying into all this really, is he? Does he honestly think that because of that whole meme business, people actually care whether or not he believes in evolution, or wants to know for whom he plans to vote?
Have you guys seen Ashlee Simpson's recent video where she goes crazy due to her own alleged 'celebrity' status? It was very disturbing, even for her. Everything she does is disturbing, but this was over the top. Should these actions by pseudo-celebrities like Norris & Simpson be considered artistic statements, or cries for help?
Maybe there should be a moratorium on allowing celebrities access to the Internet. They really don't need to know what we're saying about them: that we're essentially laughing at them all behind their backs. I don't think they have what it takes to stomach it without going completely and utterly mad.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:14 AM on December 22, 2007
...Maybe what he really wants to do is kill the meme, and this is the only way to do it. If people were going around saying this kinda stuff laughingly about me, I'd do one of two things.
1) I'd react as if it was bothering me, which would only cause people to do it even moreso in order to witness the spectacle of my nervous breakdown.
2) I'd behave as if I were amused by it and wanted to play along, at which point it'd stop being funny to the people who were making fun of me, and they'd move on to a target who actually behaved as if it mattered to them.
Comedy is only funny if someone is getting hurt. It's sad, but it's true. Someone is the fall guy in every joke, even if the fall guy is a lightbulb. Maybe Chuck Norris (or his 'entourage' per se) is smarter than we give credit.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:31 AM on December 22, 2007 [1 favorite]
1) I'd react as if it was bothering me, which would only cause people to do it even moreso in order to witness the spectacle of my nervous breakdown.
2) I'd behave as if I were amused by it and wanted to play along, at which point it'd stop being funny to the people who were making fun of me, and they'd move on to a target who actually behaved as if it mattered to them.
Comedy is only funny if someone is getting hurt. It's sad, but it's true. Someone is the fall guy in every joke, even if the fall guy is a lightbulb. Maybe Chuck Norris (or his 'entourage' per se) is smarter than we give credit.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:31 AM on December 22, 2007 [1 favorite]
This is what happens when the head penguin of Penguin books gets his legal advice from AskMe
Wait. James Brown is dead?!!
posted by humannaire at 11:38 AM on December 22, 2007
Wait. James Brown is dead?!!
posted by humannaire at 11:38 AM on December 22, 2007
He's a public figure, for chrissakes
That doesn't make him public property though. Nor does it not mean that he has no recourse to exploitation.
posted by Brockles at 11:46 AM on December 22, 2007
That doesn't make him public property though. Nor does it not mean that he has no recourse to exploitation.
posted by Brockles at 11:46 AM on December 22, 2007
I can't believe a publisher thought that material was worth printing a book.
posted by glycolized at 11:48 AM on December 22, 2007
posted by glycolized at 11:48 AM on December 22, 2007
I can't believe a publisher thought that material was worth printing a book.
Something being financially viable to publish doesn't in any way imply quality in the content or subect.
witness
posted by Brockles at 12:17 PM on December 22, 2007
Something being financially viable to publish doesn't in any way imply quality in the content or subect.
witness
posted by Brockles at 12:17 PM on December 22, 2007
Next up: Chuck Norris publishes his own "The Truth About Chuck Norris" book and gets sued by Penguin.
/irony
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:25 PM on December 22, 2007
/irony
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:25 PM on December 22, 2007
The whole Chuck Norris meme is kinda played out anyway. I hear Ron Paul uses Ron Paul in his ads now.
posted by arto at 4:37 PM on December 22, 2007
posted by arto at 4:37 PM on December 22, 2007
bah.
the memes involving supermen has been around forever; I believe the first recorded one is "The chief export of Beowulf is pain."
posted by heeeraldo at 6:50 PM on December 22, 2007
the memes involving supermen has been around forever; I believe the first recorded one is "The chief export of Beowulf is pain."
posted by heeeraldo at 6:50 PM on December 22, 2007
It should be mentioned that the 'author' of the book claims to have created the meme, and that he has never seen Walker, Texas Ranger.
posted by eye of newt at 7:00 PM on December 22, 2007
posted by eye of newt at 7:00 PM on December 22, 2007
Chuck Norris caught Kirk Johnson trying to sneak across the border.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:26 PM on December 22, 2007
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:26 PM on December 22, 2007
There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases – sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.
posted by mrgrimm at 9:10 AM on December 23, 2007
posted by mrgrimm at 9:10 AM on December 23, 2007
Is that so. Well... Jesus would rail against the Church today in the same way he overturned the tables of the money-changers in the Temple. There, I said it... Jesus was a f'in rebel.
If God is love... why can't I just do things out of love?
posted by Lectrick at 9:30 AM on December 23, 2007
If God is love... why can't I just do things out of love?
posted by Lectrick at 9:30 AM on December 23, 2007
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called, "The Islands". << my fave, fwiw
posted by Lectrick at 9:31 AM on December 23, 2007
posted by Lectrick at 9:31 AM on December 23, 2007
But here's what I really think about the theory of evolution: It's not real.
Here's another fun fact about Chuck Norris: he's declared himself an idiot.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:10 AM on December 23, 2007
Here's another fun fact about Chuck Norris: he's declared himself an idiot.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:10 AM on December 23, 2007
I thought it was funnier back when these were Vin Diesel facts.
posted by abkadefgee at 9:42 AM on December 29, 2007
posted by abkadefgee at 9:42 AM on December 29, 2007
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