I'm With Stupid ---->
April 21, 2008 12:45 PM Subscribe
The self-proclaimed "most trusted name in news", CNN, has launched its beta t-shirt store. Finally, for $15 plus shipping and tax you can buy direct from CNN branded t-shirts with such wonderful headlines as: "Dad mistakes son for prey, shoots" and "Free prom dresses honor girl's memory." If that's not enough, yes, you can share your new purchase on Facebook, and grab your 15 minutes of fame by posting pictures of yourself in your newly acquired apparel on CNN's quasi-news ireport system (link not yet live, but I'm waiting with much anticipation).
Let's just hope that CNN gives credit where credit is due - to the Weekly World News, forerunner in t-shirt headlines. Just remember CNN, don't start ripping off other people's images and photoshopping in aliens shaking hands with Bill Clinton to bolster t-shirt sales, or you'll get sued.
Let's just hope that CNN gives credit where credit is due - to the Weekly World News, forerunner in t-shirt headlines. Just remember CNN, don't start ripping off other people's images and photoshopping in aliens shaking hands with Bill Clinton to bolster t-shirt sales, or you'll get sued.
So, no one will buy a real one, right? They're planning on only selling goofy fake ones?
..
Didn't CNN used to be a trusted name for news?
posted by graventy at 12:52 PM on April 21, 2008
..
Didn't CNN used to be a trusted name for news?
posted by graventy at 12:52 PM on April 21, 2008
See, it's funny because one girl was killed in a car crash delivering prom dresses, and another guy accidentally shot and killed his 8-year-old son two days ago! Get it?
posted by designbot at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2008 [8 favorites]
posted by designbot at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2008 [8 favorites]
Meh. CNN's got to do a lot of running to catch up with the New York Post New York Post.
posted by ardgedee at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by ardgedee at 12:56 PM on April 21, 2008
Do they have Bat Boy shirts too?
posted by shakespeherian at 1:00 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by shakespeherian at 1:00 PM on April 21, 2008
In case it isn't apparent to everyone from mecran01's link, the t-shirt logo generator is easily compromised, all you have to do is insert your own 'headline' in to the URL. 5 favorites says this will be down within the hour.
posted by onalark at 1:04 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by onalark at 1:04 PM on April 21, 2008
Adding to the horribleness of this idea, someone is rewriting the headlines after they are deemed "t-shirt-worthy."
Free prom dresses
Dad shoots son by mistake
CNN fails at internet
posted by designbot at 1:05 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
Free prom dresses
Dad shoots son by mistake
CNN fails at internet
posted by designbot at 1:05 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
I saw these this morning and laughed a good hearty laugh, then turned on NPR. That URL hack is the greatest!
posted by Science! at 1:08 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by Science! at 1:08 PM on April 21, 2008
Is this really a frequently asked question?
"I took my CNN shirt on vacation and I have great pictures. Where can I send them?"
posted by smackfu at 1:12 PM on April 21, 2008
"I took my CNN shirt on vacation and I have great pictures. Where can I send them?"
posted by smackfu at 1:12 PM on April 21, 2008
What's bad is that "YOU NEED A HEART TO LIVE" (all caps) doesn't fit on a shirt. What's worse is that you can't add a shirt with a hacked headline to the shopping cart anyway.
posted by cobra libre at 1:16 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by cobra libre at 1:16 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Needs a Richard Quest meth/sextoy in boot/ rope tied around genitals t-shirt to get my Visa out of my pocket.
posted by Keith Talent at 1:21 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by Keith Talent at 1:21 PM on April 21, 2008
Here's a headline from today's New York Daily News that I totally misread. After all, I would call my honeymoon audible. Extremely audible.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:22 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:22 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Aw, it really is too bad you can't buy a custom hax t-shirt, otherwise "IDIOT SPENDS MONEY ON NEEDLESS BRANDED MERCHANDISE" would make for a great CNN Financial headline shirt.
posted by Spatch at 1:34 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Spatch at 1:34 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
CNN headlines have always been dumb, as shown by WTFCNN?
posted by graventy at 1:49 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by graventy at 1:49 PM on April 21, 2008
If I was on the verge of suicide, this might put me over the top.
posted by ryanhealy at 1:57 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by ryanhealy at 1:57 PM on April 21, 2008 [2 favorites]
Good lord. This one is actually real, and so is odd placed out of context on a t-shirt that it's almost worth buying.
posted by rusty at 2:01 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by rusty at 2:01 PM on April 21, 2008
Fertility science marches on
Domestic tragedy in Arkansas
posted by cortex at 2:08 PM on April 21, 2008
Domestic tragedy in Arkansas
posted by cortex at 2:08 PM on April 21, 2008
This. Is. Hilarious.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 2:29 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 2:29 PM on April 21, 2008
I cannot stop giggling at zippy's. Oh CNN, you glorious fools. Probably should order quick before they fix it.
posted by cashman at 2:39 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by cashman at 2:39 PM on April 21, 2008
PepCNN Blue.
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:01 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:01 PM on April 21, 2008
I don't get it. Is CNN really trying to become The Onion?
Sometimes I don't know if Tom Lehrer was right when he said satire was obsolete, or if he hadn't seen anything yet.
posted by namespan at 3:10 PM on April 21, 2008
Sometimes I don't know if Tom Lehrer was right when he said satire was obsolete, or if he hadn't seen anything yet.
posted by namespan at 3:10 PM on April 21, 2008
You know, it's oddly refreshing to see the term "beta" in a context where it actually refers to buggy, pre-release content.
posted by lekvar at 3:17 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by lekvar at 3:17 PM on April 21, 2008
Damnit, I came here to post this and saw I was beaten to the punch in the very first comment.
Well done, sir, well done.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:29 PM on April 21, 2008
Well done, sir, well done.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 3:29 PM on April 21, 2008
I'd prefer t-shirts featuring news ticker headlines from CNNNN.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:34 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:34 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
You should really put it into headline format, though.
posted by cortex at 3:50 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by cortex at 3:50 PM on April 21, 2008 [1 favorite]
ericb: considering that beans are not gendered and may therefore be thought of as sexually fluid, transgender or genderqueer, your phrase "a plate of fucking beans" contains an implicit normative heterosexual monogamist agenda that some might find hegemonic & inappropriate.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:10 PM on April 21, 2008 [3 favorites]
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:10 PM on April 21, 2008 [3 favorites]
Best CNN headline ever (first one). I'm taking suggestions for how to read it.
posted by wemayfreeze at 4:20 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by wemayfreeze at 4:20 PM on April 21, 2008
wemayfreeze: was that a serious question, or a setup for a joke?
the actual story was that the coach of the pakistan cricket team was found dead in his hotel room shortly after the team had been knocked out of the cricket world cup. the death was suspicious, so the local police took the DNA of the team as part of their investigation.
it does read nicely, though, in a Terror Couple Kill Colonel kind of way.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:38 PM on April 21, 2008
the actual story was that the coach of the pakistan cricket team was found dead in his hotel room shortly after the team had been knocked out of the cricket world cup. the death was suspicious, so the local police took the DNA of the team as part of their investigation.
it does read nicely, though, in a Terror Couple Kill Colonel kind of way.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:38 PM on April 21, 2008
I especially love that you can modify the return_uri parameter and it doesn't bat an eye. I can't wait until someone sends one of my computer unsavvy relatives a link to a CNN t-shirt with a link to a malicious website. Most trusted name in news indeed.
posted by saraswati at 4:45 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by saraswati at 4:45 PM on April 21, 2008
Case in point (this link isn't malicious, but you can see how it could be)
Why don't companies think before they put stuff on the internet?
posted by saraswati at 4:55 PM on April 21, 2008
Why don't companies think before they put stuff on the internet?
posted by saraswati at 4:55 PM on April 21, 2008
I want one with my favorite quote by CNN's Kyra Phillips:
"Doctor, does he understand why this war took place? Has he talked about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the meaning. Does he understand it?'"
posted by Auden at 4:59 PM on April 21, 2008
"Doctor, does he understand why this war took place? Has he talked about Operation Iraqi Freedom and the meaning. Does he understand it?'"
posted by Auden at 4:59 PM on April 21, 2008
Ubu, I'm still lost. Is DNA being used as a verb here? That's the only way I can make sense of it, but, c'mon, DNA? Verb? Maybe someone could diagram it for me.
Murder cops DNA Pakistan cricket team
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:35 PM on April 21, 2008
Murder cops DNA Pakistan cricket team
posted by wemayfreeze at 5:35 PM on April 21, 2008
wemayfreeze, I think the only legit reading would be, given the lack of punctuation
"Murder steals DNA Pakistan cricket team."
posted by maxwelton at 5:57 PM on April 21, 2008
"Murder steals DNA Pakistan cricket team."
posted by maxwelton at 5:57 PM on April 21, 2008
yep, i think DNA is being used as a verb.
"Homicide squad collects Pakistan cricket team's DNA" is my suggested reading.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:36 PM on April 21, 2008
"Homicide squad collects Pakistan cricket team's DNA" is my suggested reading.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:36 PM on April 21, 2008
No more ungrammatical than fingerprint used as a verb, wemayfreeze.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:00 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:00 PM on April 21, 2008
"Fingerprint" has that verb at the end of it (print). When you fingerprint someone, you are taking a print of their fingers. No such luck with DNA.
Anyhow, it's not the ungrammaticalness of it, it's that I've never heard DNA verbed like that before. Is it common? Googling is proving futile.
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:06 PM on April 21, 2008
Anyhow, it's not the ungrammaticalness of it, it's that I've never heard DNA verbed like that before. Is it common? Googling is proving futile.
posted by wemayfreeze at 7:06 PM on April 21, 2008
OK. How about Taser? Cops Taser 90 year old woman. Where's the verb?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:09 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:09 PM on April 21, 2008
According to the acronym dictionary, the best fit is probably Murder cops do not answer Pakistan cricket team.
Either that, or Murder cops "definitely not attractive": Pakistan cricket team.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:16 PM on April 21, 2008
Either that, or Murder cops "definitely not attractive": Pakistan cricket team.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:16 PM on April 21, 2008
This was a good day for Metafilter.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:40 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:40 PM on April 21, 2008
I just loved putting "Braves Suck!" on a CNN shirt. Now, let's see if I get it in the mail!
posted by jstef at 9:52 PM on April 21, 2008
posted by jstef at 9:52 PM on April 21, 2008
Howabout "murder cops?" That part is weird too. I have never heard the phrase "murder cops" like that before.
...but I think I just named my new band
posted by ludwig_van at 10:01 PM on April 21, 2008
...but I think I just named my new band
posted by ludwig_van at 10:01 PM on April 21, 2008
Fuck CNN. I can't even be bothered to edit up the URL. They must be destroyed.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:03 AM on April 22, 2008
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:03 AM on April 22, 2008
The Post's "Ike Beats Tina To Death" is one of the best headlines ever.
posted by degoao at 8:46 AM on April 22, 2008 [1 favorite]
From the FAQ: "What are the minimum computer specifications required to use CNN Shirts?"
When you have to list minimum computer requirements to buy a t-shirt, you may have already failed.
posted by atbash at 8:54 AM on April 22, 2008
When you have to list minimum computer requirements to buy a t-shirt, you may have already failed.
posted by atbash at 8:54 AM on April 22, 2008
To be fair, use of flash or JavaScript is pretty common when previewing customizable products, so CNN isn't really unique there. Not that there shouldn't be non-flash fallbacks of course.
posted by Artw at 9:28 AM on April 22, 2008
posted by Artw at 9:28 AM on April 22, 2008
Looks like they've added a hash to the headline. weirdly you can still hakc teh return URI as much as you like.
http://www.cnn.com/tshirt/index.html?
headline=Pacing%20man%20stuck%2041%20hours%20in%20elevator
&fhash=6ca868eac7d19ed9d34e2fc846301162
&date=1208867395000
&hash=11694688074e66750a174488fd93a954
&return_uri=http://www.metafilter.com
posted by Artw at 5:45 PM on April 22, 2008
http://www.cnn.com/tshirt/index.html?
headline=Pacing%20man%20stuck%2041%20hours%20in%20elevator
&fhash=6ca868eac7d19ed9d34e2fc846301162
&date=1208867395000
&hash=11694688074e66750a174488fd93a954
&return_uri=http://www.metafilter.com
posted by Artw at 5:45 PM on April 22, 2008
Ah, so that's why none of the links above save for Artw's work. I kept getting automatically redirected to the headline page.
posted by Locative at 12:16 AM on April 23, 2008
posted by Locative at 12:16 AM on April 23, 2008
I think there was a hash in the first place that prevented you from actually buying any.
posted by smackfu at 5:55 AM on April 23, 2008
posted by smackfu at 5:55 AM on April 23, 2008
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posted by mecran01 at 12:49 PM on April 21, 2008