Sha-pow or something. Or, rather, lack thereof.
July 2, 2008 3:34 AM Subscribe
Batman and Robin De-Assified. So, some anonymous gentleman has apparently tried to make a Joel Schumacher motion picture watchable. Gotta love comic geeks.
This is just a link to the review; the movie's been released on your friendly neighbourhood torrent site.
Play World's Greatest Detective and find it.
This is just a link to the review; the movie's been released on your friendly neighbourhood torrent site.
Play World's Greatest Detective and find it.
Seems like a good place to post this:
BATMAN & ROBIN WORST MOVIE EVER
posted by secret about box at 4:04 AM on July 2, 2008 [4 favorites]
BATMAN & ROBIN WORST MOVIE EVER
posted by secret about box at 4:04 AM on July 2, 2008 [4 favorites]
Other fan edits:
The Phantom Edit - Star Wars I, without midochlorians, much of Jar Jar, and all occurances of WEEEEEE!
The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers (The Purist Edition) - No elves in Helms Deep, no dumbass Grimly, etc.
Also--not a fan edit, exactly, but there's also Superman 2: The Donner Cut. This features many (MANY) new shots and follows the S&S version of Superman much closer than the more campy version that was released. The sheer volume of new footage (most of Marlon Brando's scenes were restored, for example) and completely different editing makes this feel like a completely different movie than the original.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:23 AM on July 2, 2008
The Phantom Edit - Star Wars I, without midochlorians, much of Jar Jar, and all occurances of WEEEEEE!
The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers (The Purist Edition) - No elves in Helms Deep, no dumbass Grimly, etc.
Also--not a fan edit, exactly, but there's also Superman 2: The Donner Cut. This features many (MANY) new shots and follows the S&S version of Superman much closer than the more campy version that was released. The sheer volume of new footage (most of Marlon Brando's scenes were restored, for example) and completely different editing makes this feel like a completely different movie than the original.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:23 AM on July 2, 2008
"F infinity" Is that like the negative of "twelve thumbs up"?
posted by DU at 4:31 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by DU at 4:31 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
Ahh, fanboys, can't live with them, can't smack them in the face with a lead pipe.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 4:55 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by KirkJobSluder at 4:55 AM on July 2, 2008
The web page is much more funny if you imagine it read by Mark Hamill's character from Comic Book: The Movie, an middle-aged comic store owner with no life or sense of perspective who travels to the San Diego to protest a Hollywood treatment of an obscure character. Of course Comic Book: The Movie its self is an astonishingly unwatchable example of fanwank.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 5:07 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by KirkJobSluder at 5:07 AM on July 2, 2008
WORST MOVIE EVER
I remembered it being awful, but I must have forgotten just how much awful they could pack into a two-hour flick. And I really can't believe how they could have spent over $100 million and still come out with something so amateurish-looking.
posted by kittyprecious at 5:32 AM on July 2, 2008
I remembered it being awful, but I must have forgotten just how much awful they could pack into a two-hour flick. And I really can't believe how they could have spent over $100 million and still come out with something so amateurish-looking.
posted by kittyprecious at 5:32 AM on July 2, 2008
It's hard to imagine that there's anyway to salvage that movie without cutting it down to about 15 minutes including credits. There's not a single performance, line of dialog, action set-piece, set or costume that doesn't make you cringe. I remember thinking, well that's the end of Clooney's film career, maybe ER will take him back.
posted by octothorpe at 5:48 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by octothorpe at 5:48 AM on July 2, 2008
Well, at least the guy appologized.
He did not, however, mail me a check for the money I spent on the ticket, so he's still an ass hat.
posted by Pecinpah at 6:31 AM on July 2, 2008
He did not, however, mail me a check for the money I spent on the ticket, so he's still an ass hat.
posted by Pecinpah at 6:31 AM on July 2, 2008
It'd be nice if franchise movies were actually treated like franchises, not cash-ins. There's some sort of disconnect between the studios' sequel addiction and their ability to turn out movies that can actually have a sequel.
The 90s Batman movies are great examples of lack of foresight. The first Batman featured origin stuff and the Joker. That's fine. It was dark and over the top and made a crapload of money. So it almost instantly became a franchise (unlike, say Dick Tracy). The second movie featured two villains for some reason (maybe if a villain and a half if you think about Catwoman like that, or more if you count Walken), two villains that were right at the top of the list behind the Joker for popculture awareness. So now the standard has been set: Batman Movies Must Have Two Bad Guys. So then the following films burn through the remainder of Bat's rogue gallery (Batman and Robin had, what, 3? 4?). After that, then what? It's no wonder the last one sucked so bad - everyone knew there was nowhere to go from there, so why bother?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:35 AM on July 2, 2008
The 90s Batman movies are great examples of lack of foresight. The first Batman featured origin stuff and the Joker. That's fine. It was dark and over the top and made a crapload of money. So it almost instantly became a franchise (unlike, say Dick Tracy). The second movie featured two villains for some reason (maybe if a villain and a half if you think about Catwoman like that, or more if you count Walken), two villains that were right at the top of the list behind the Joker for popculture awareness. So now the standard has been set: Batman Movies Must Have Two Bad Guys. So then the following films burn through the remainder of Bat's rogue gallery (Batman and Robin had, what, 3? 4?). After that, then what? It's no wonder the last one sucked so bad - everyone knew there was nowhere to go from there, so why bother?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:35 AM on July 2, 2008
Which one was the one with Uma and Schwarzenegger? Was it B&R or one of the other atrocious turds?
posted by Mister_A at 7:01 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by Mister_A at 7:01 AM on July 2, 2008
BATMAN & ROBIN WORST MOVIE EVER
Christ, talk about gratuitous grappling hook shots.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:25 AM on July 2, 2008
Christ, talk about gratuitous grappling hook shots.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 7:25 AM on July 2, 2008
All this makes me wonder, who will Chris Nolan have as Catwoman when they make the next Batman movie? They got smart replacing Katie Holmes with Maggie G., maybe we'll get Parker Posey in a cat costume?
posted by Ber at 7:48 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by Ber at 7:48 AM on July 2, 2008
He still needs to apologize for 8MM, Number 23, A Time To Kill, Phone Booth, etc.
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:48 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by Dr-Baa at 7:48 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
"Damn? Damn's not good."
There is so much there to ridicule, but worst movie ever?
I humbly submit, this one.
Or maybe, this one.
posted by eric1halfb at 8:05 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
There is so much there to ridicule, but worst movie ever?
I humbly submit, this one.
Or maybe, this one.
posted by eric1halfb at 8:05 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
I think the other thing that went horribly wrong with the older Batman movies (and may still go wrong with the new ones) is the need to give him bigger and badder gadgets in each movie, like some kind of cowled James Bond. I'm not saying the Bat-toys weren't part of the appeal of the comic books, but I always thought the real draw was what Batman did with the resources he had...not pulling out Bat Shark Repellent like in the Adam West TV version.
posted by JaredSeth at 8:07 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by JaredSeth at 8:07 AM on July 2, 2008
He did not, however, mail me a check for the money I spent on the ticket, so he's still an ass hat.
Clooney said a couple times that he would personally refund the money of anyone who came up to him on the street and asked for one.
But Clooney's awesome.
posted by billypilgrim at 8:50 AM on July 2, 2008
Clooney said a couple times that he would personally refund the money of anyone who came up to him on the street and asked for one.
But Clooney's awesome.
posted by billypilgrim at 8:50 AM on July 2, 2008
The reason I bolted on the fourth installment of the previous BATMAN series and not the second was simple: B&R makes fun of Batman...
Yeah, god forbid if anyone ever did THAT.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:52 AM on July 2, 2008
Yeah, god forbid if anyone ever did THAT.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:52 AM on July 2, 2008
I'm sorry, but upon watching a few clips again, I have to say this out loud... DAMN, I MISS THE OLD BATMAN TV SHOW! I mean, how can you not????
posted by miss lynnster at 9:00 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
posted by miss lynnster at 9:00 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
Glad to see some links to the greatest on-screen version of Batman ever. Here's my personal favorite and strangely appropriate this year.
posted by pandaharma at 9:08 AM on July 2, 2008
posted by pandaharma at 9:08 AM on July 2, 2008
Meh. Say what you like about Batman and Robin, at least it knew that it was camp and delivered solid camp. About a billion times better than those horrid, sickly-sweet twee indulgent monstrosities perpetrated by Tim Burton. In the sense that a nasty case of food poisoning is much better than ebola.
Also, B&R is by far the closest in spirit to the 60's TV series.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:35 AM on July 2, 2008
Also, B&R is by far the closest in spirit to the 60's TV series.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:35 AM on July 2, 2008
Your favourite screen adaptation of Batman sucks.
Just in case you were wondering.
posted by asok at 9:44 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
Just in case you were wondering.
posted by asok at 9:44 AM on July 2, 2008 [2 favorites]
Some days you just can't get rid of a bomb!
But you can re-edit it!
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:29 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
But you can re-edit it!
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:29 AM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
Sucks, you say? This!!???
Adam West will CUT you, asok. Kapow! Zlott!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:39 AM on July 2, 2008
Adam West will CUT you, asok. Kapow! Zlott!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:39 AM on July 2, 2008
Holy crossed-lines lynnster, do not impune my bat-fandom! West will not cut me because I will be too busy genuflecting. He would not stoop to cut someone who is prone before him (and not just because his back is a bit dicky now). That was the general 'you' and in keeping with the mefi tradition.
My mum made me a cape due to the fact that my best friend and I played 'Batman and Robin' to the point of exclusion of all other games. You are talking to a dedicated follower of bat-fashion! Put that in your bat-pipe and bat-smoke it! ; )
I believe I may stil be able to put my hands on the matchbox Batmobile I had at the time. It had (plastic) flames coming out of the exhaust and everything!
May I just add that I loved the Tim Burton Batman, just like the Batman Dark Knight Returns comic. Genius! I love everything about the first film, especially the stories about Jack Nicholson's behaviour on and off set. As the Head of David song presciently opined - take a ride on the back of mad Jack Nicholson.
I wish someone would attempt to do this with the last two Matrix films, but I am afraid that there simpy isn't enough footage that is watchable to make one (1 hour) film of note from that morass.
posted by asok at 2:26 PM on July 2, 2008
My mum made me a cape due to the fact that my best friend and I played 'Batman and Robin' to the point of exclusion of all other games. You are talking to a dedicated follower of bat-fashion! Put that in your bat-pipe and bat-smoke it! ; )
I believe I may stil be able to put my hands on the matchbox Batmobile I had at the time. It had (plastic) flames coming out of the exhaust and everything!
May I just add that I loved the Tim Burton Batman, just like the Batman Dark Knight Returns comic. Genius! I love everything about the first film, especially the stories about Jack Nicholson's behaviour on and off set. As the Head of David song presciently opined - take a ride on the back of mad Jack Nicholson.
I wish someone would attempt to do this with the last two Matrix films, but I am afraid that there simpy isn't enough footage that is watchable to make one (1 hour) film of note from that morass.
posted by asok at 2:26 PM on July 2, 2008
asok - The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions has been re-edited by several fans. The most notable of the bunch is called The Matrix Squared, which you can find on torrent sites.
posted by stevis at 3:31 PM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
posted by stevis at 3:31 PM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
Notably MST3K's Mike Nelson, in Movie Megacheese, stated that Batman and Robin was not the worst movie ever made.
He said it was the worst THING, of ANY KIND, EVER.
posted by JHarris at 4:28 PM on July 2, 2008
He said it was the worst THING, of ANY KIND, EVER.
posted by JHarris at 4:28 PM on July 2, 2008
Say what you like about Batman and Robin, at least it knew that it was camp and delivered solid camp.
You say that like it's a good thing.
Also, B&R is by far the closest in spirit to the 60's TV series.
You say that like it's a good thing.
Personally, I find any of the first series of films unwatchable, including Tim Burton's first. It is far campier and closer to the 60s show than the marketing at the time suggested. Also, watching it now, Burton's absolute distaste for the character and the comic book medium is so obvious.
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:30 PM on July 2, 2008
You say that like it's a good thing.
Also, B&R is by far the closest in spirit to the 60's TV series.
You say that like it's a good thing.
Personally, I find any of the first series of films unwatchable, including Tim Burton's first. It is far campier and closer to the 60s show than the marketing at the time suggested. Also, watching it now, Burton's absolute distaste for the character and the comic book medium is so obvious.
posted by Saxon Kane at 6:30 PM on July 2, 2008
I'm sorry, but upon watching a few clips again, I have to say this out loud... DAMN, I MISS THE OLD BATMAN TV SHOW! I mean, how can you not????
posted by miss lynnster at 12:00 PM on July 2 [2 favorites +] [!]
You know the show was bad when you have this gem of a YouTube comment on the shark attack scene:
holy sardines....wat a lod of crap, his leg would be gone if thr was a shark on his leg adn the bat spray..its like ..lets go in the helicopter, but wait we btr put tht shark repelant bat spray JUST incase u lower me down in to the water by accident and a shak attacks and isnt blowing up a shark cruelty to animals.. are u allowed to do tht?
stupid shaks.
posted by kurmbox at 7:41 PM on July 2, 2008
posted by miss lynnster at 12:00 PM on July 2 [2 favorites +] [!]
You know the show was bad when you have this gem of a YouTube comment on the shark attack scene:
holy sardines....wat a lod of crap, his leg would be gone if thr was a shark on his leg adn the bat spray..its like ..lets go in the helicopter, but wait we btr put tht shark repelant bat spray JUST incase u lower me down in to the water by accident and a shak attacks and isnt blowing up a shark cruelty to animals.. are u allowed to do tht?
stupid shaks.
posted by kurmbox at 7:41 PM on July 2, 2008
The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions has been re-edited by several fans.
Isn't it just easier to pretend they didn't exist?
posted by crossoverman at 8:09 PM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
Isn't it just easier to pretend they didn't exist?
posted by crossoverman at 8:09 PM on July 2, 2008 [1 favorite]
This post got me to watch some of the old Batman - The Animated Series episodes. There's an awesome show. Really cool art style, and some decent stories too.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:36 PM on July 3, 2008
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:36 PM on July 3, 2008
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posted by Stunt at 3:43 AM on July 2, 2008