Sexy People

August 26, 2008 5:33 PM

girls with large glasses, men with large glasses, school pictures, Sexy People (via)
posted by fleetmouse (80 comments total)

It's like the cast of a live action Pathetic Geek Stories. I don't post this with an attitude of lolhumans because I am at least half of these people.
posted by fleetmouse at 5:39 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I think I saw Mary and Danny in the grocery store today.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:44 PM on August 26, 2008

.
posted by DU at 5:47 PM on August 26, 2008

Is "cousins" a euphemism?
posted by cjorgensen at 5:48 PM on August 26, 2008

/?

I don't get it.
posted by shino-boy at 5:49 PM on August 26, 2008

Damn, for a minute there I thought 1966 Jack had the same glasses I do. Then I realized my fades have a clear bridge, and I was saved from certain dorkiness. Phew.
posted by oneirodynia at 5:53 PM on August 26, 2008

Ugly people are funny! Or ugly portraits.
Wait, are we laughing at them or at "ourselves?"
I can't keep track.
I like this one, though, only because I think 1993 is pre-irony. Isn't it? Let me check the dates on my old Spy magazines.
posted by chococat at 5:55 PM on August 26, 2008

I don't like these posts
posted by Dumsnill at 5:59 PM on August 26, 2008 [4 favorites]

I think it probably helps if you were born in the 70s and grew up in the 80s on this one.

Right now I'm experiencing the most unsettling combination of feelings. Shoulder pads and permed hair for girls (and guys!) was... normal. Sexy, even. I was maturing sexually during all of this... madness.

The reasons why I should be unsettled by this flashback should be pretty obvious. I'm feeling a very weird combination of retrospective lust and self-loathing right now. "Hey, she looks like that crush I had in junior high SWEET PICKLEJUICE WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE HAIRSPRAY AND THAT SWEATER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!?"
posted by loquacious at 6:01 PM on August 26, 2008 [18 favorites]

I'd point and laugh but I just looked at a couple of my old photos.

Whose genius idea was feathered hair on men?
posted by JaredSeth at 6:05 PM on August 26, 2008

Yeah, I was born in the 70s and grew up in the 80s myself. That's why I don't like these posts.
posted by Dumsnill at 6:07 PM on August 26, 2008

Leg warmers man, leg warmers. I'm telling you, you kids threw out the baby with the bath water.
posted by Naberius at 6:07 PM on August 26, 2008

20 years from now people are going do post your old myspace pics on their direct brainfeeds and laugh at them.
posted by delmoi at 6:08 PM on August 26, 2008 [10 favorites]

Wow. Two of my friends dated a girl in high school who had this exact same purple grape outfit.
posted by rusty at 6:10 PM on August 26, 2008

Every now and then I get the itch to do something daring and stylish with my look.

Then I remember that ten years will pass and I'll cringe every time I see pics of that era.
posted by lekvar at 6:15 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why yes, I was in Indian Guides.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 6:16 PM on August 26, 2008

chococat is right - this is just about the most awesome professional photo I've ever seen. I can't stand 'point-and-laugh'-type posts, usually, and I hate the idea of looking at pictures of people trying to find ridiculous things to say about them, but something tells me these two guys are awesome. And I would drink beer with them.
posted by koeselitz at 6:19 PM on August 26, 2008 [6 favorites]

Subtract the mustache thing, add tons of hairspray, throw in some bleach and longer hair, and this is my (non-religious) conformation picture.
posted by Dumsnill at 6:27 PM on August 26, 2008

*shudder* This is a betrayal of one of my big insecurities but I really hope my school photos never make their way onto the internet. I would curl up and die. Facebook being rammed to the hilt with my teenage peers is bad enough. I just can't laugh at the way I look thanks to others doing it for ten years straight.

I do admire the self confidence of the people who are submitting their own photos (if that's what is actually happening), nearly all of them look interesting to me.
posted by saturnine at 6:27 PM on August 26, 2008

Somebody, somewhere, has a copy of the school picture where I am wearing a pink shirt with shoulder pads and have an orange permed mullet.

*shudder*
posted by louche mustachio at 6:27 PM on August 26, 2008

Mean-spirited bullshit.
posted by jbickers at 6:28 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

jbickers, the photos are self-submitted.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:34 PM on August 26, 2008 [3 favorites]

Or maybe they aren't... I got that impression from this quote: "I wanna thank all the people who are submitting their old pics to the Sexy People blog" but perhaps that's only a new thing.

Anyway, I've definitely had this haircut.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:37 PM on August 26, 2008

trying that again.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 6:39 PM on August 26, 2008

what
posted by Brak at 6:40 PM on August 26, 2008

People who are vehemently against this - do you consider yourself good looking or not, and are you a happy person (or at least resigned to your fate)?

I figure I'm fairly ghastly - the singer from my old band, on first laying eyes on me, drew in a breath and quietly said "not pretty". But this was a death metal band and that may have been a compliment.
posted by fleetmouse at 6:44 PM on August 26, 2008

Mean-spirited bullshit.

You want to know what's some seriously mean spirited bullshit? AQUA NET and ACID WASH JEANS. I speak from experience.
posted by loquacious at 6:47 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I sometimes feel guilty that I haven't taken my young kids to do a family portrait like so many of my co-workers do. Feeling much better about that now.
posted by saffry at 6:49 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I find this fascinating. Real modern anthropology.
posted by destro at 6:55 PM on August 26, 2008

I think a whole bunch of these people look pretty happy in general and pretty happy with each other. We're all fairly gnarly in one way or the other. That kid in the smurfs sweater is cool as shit across any number of cultural eras.
posted by Divine_Wino at 6:55 PM on August 26, 2008

A lot of this is very familiar from the last time someone posted something that was just like this. LOLMULLETS amirite?
posted by Mister_A at 6:57 PM on August 26, 2008

Yeah, saffry, I've almost never seen a good professional portrait. Thank god for digital cameras, so you can click away at your family in situ and keep the ones where you don't look like scab eating mutoids.

One thing this kind of photography has taught me is that the less people alter and worry at their appearance - plucking eyebrows, chasing the fashions of the day - the better they look and wear. You BME types will provide many lulz for your descendants.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:03 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter: Mean-spirited bullshit.
posted by DU at 7:09 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I don't understand this. People had different hairstyles in the 80's...so what?
posted by wigglin at 7:12 PM on August 26, 2008

Well, wigglin, I like it because I have a few old school pictures with SWEET LASER 1990s BACKGROUNDS! So, geeky geeky shameful nostalgia. Much like patheticgeekstories. Though from the comments on the blog some people just like to make fun of other people.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 7:17 PM on August 26, 2008

I had the laser background going on in my yearbook picture. The late 80s, early 90s pictures are all very familiar. Funny that some of the horrible hair and clothes is trendy hipster shit now.
posted by empath at 7:31 PM on August 26, 2008

LOLLARGEGLASSES!

I, for one, cannot *wait* until today's de rigeur hipster glasses - the black rimmed rectangular ones - are looked back upon with similar condescending disdain.

Amongst other reasons, this will demonstrate that I am ahead of my time.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:36 PM on August 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

I don't feel a sense of cruel mockery looking at these pics, but a sense of "oh boy, weren't we all fantastically geeky and ridiculous?" it makes me feel less bad about those lost photos of my own 70s/80s youth that "only a mother could love" because obviously, we've all been there!
posted by supermedusa at 7:53 PM on August 26, 2008 [4 favorites]

I'm not laughing at them, I'm laughing with them. I was them, and I was surrounded by them. I still am, but we won't laugh at this for another 20 years.

That said, I can't wait to get my gigantic red sweater off so that I can harvest all these prosciutto bushes and my dog and I can have lunch.
posted by rlk at 7:57 PM on August 26, 2008

Funny that some of the horrible hair and clothes is trendy hipster shit now.

You can say that about any era.

As a teenager in 1986, after some scary "New Romantic" years, I was full-on into a hippy/psychedelic/garagey kind of thing and it would bug me when old people came up to me to tell me that they used to have hair down to their ass too, or whatever. That and guys accidentally asking me to dance.
And I remember middle-aged people moaning about how awful it was that bell-bottoms or paisley or whatever '70's things were coming back because they were still regretting it and I never quite understood that until maybe the 3rd or 5th or 11th time the '80's made a "comeback" because I am embarrassed of the '80's. I was embarrassed of the '80's during the '80's.
Granted, unlike now, there was zero irony in the past about appropriating an era into your own thing; but it's been going on forever...it's the circle of life...
posted by chococat at 8:00 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I wish this was all self-submitted, that would be better.

That said, there are some great pictures there. The Scouts and the kid in the Smurfs sweater are my favorite. The real problem isn't the people or the fashion, it's the ridiculousness of getting a picture taken in a studio.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 8:01 PM on August 26, 2008

You know when you went to a record store and they would have, back in the corner, all the posters for sale? And the posters would be displayed in a row of swinging frames mounted perpendicular to the wall? My high school had yearbook pictures of past classes arranged like that in the cafeteria. My brother had graduated 13 years prior to me, and his 1980 looks (which, given that it was Indiana, were really 1976-or-so looks) made me realize early that what looked "normal" was going to be quickly dated.

Not that it saved me from having an awful quasimullet with green felt jacket over tie dye picture one year. Thank god I discovered punk rock. There's a look that doesn't age...
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 8:05 PM on August 26, 2008

I don't need a website to display goofy old photographs of me. I leave that to my mother, who does it every damn chance she gets.

And I don't find this mean-spirited at all. No silly titles or commentary, just names and pictures. The comments on the other hand...
posted by JaredSeth at 8:25 PM on August 26, 2008

Thank god I discovered punk rock. There's a look that doesn't age...

No not much.
posted by chococat at 8:37 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

Seeing pictures like this is why I decided to start wearing black 2-button suits with a skinny black tie every day for the rest of my life. Shit never goes out of style.
posted by bjork24 at 9:02 PM on August 26, 2008

They're normal people trying their best to look as good as they can. It's ok to laugh at the old fashions, so long as you're not laughing at the people.

I didn't like the "80's" style during the 80's either. I was happy when pop culture was (briefly) taken over by grunge. Hell, I even like the wannabe-ironic condescending hipster look. No more hair gel please.
posted by Loudmax at 9:41 PM on August 26, 2008

I was embarrassed of the '80's during the '80's.

Bam! Yes, it was a hell-decade of bad movies and huge ugly clothing and hair, soundtracked by the soulless glass-crack of the first generation of digital keyboards. To this day I cannot understand why someone would want to buy or emulate a Yamaha DX-7, an instrument that by all rights ought to be burned under cover of darkness and its ashes scattered on unhallowed ground.
posted by fleetmouse at 9:58 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

I can't look at this without thinking, "eight years later..."
posted by showbiz_liz at 10:25 PM on August 26, 2008 [2 favorites]

What is up with this photo?
posted by lemoncello at 11:16 PM on August 26, 2008

I bet the biggest laughs and oh-my-gods will come from people looking back on today's tattoos and piercings and ask themselves, "Which one's Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face?"
posted by pracowity at 11:48 PM on August 26, 2008

It reminds me of this scene at the beginning of Mike Leigh's Secrets and Lies, which by the way, is a good film.
posted by leibniz at 12:10 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

oneirodynia wrote: Damn, for a minute there I thought 1966 Jack had the same glasses I do. Then I realized my fades have a clear bridge, and I was saved from certain dorkiness. Phew.

Hah, I had the same thought. (Mine were saved by being quite a bit smaller, if otherwise identical.)
posted by jack_mo at 2:36 AM on August 27, 2008

I bet a good handful of those people are veritable tigers in the sack. Rawr.
posted by ZaneJ. at 3:17 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

"I just can't laugh at the way I look thanks to others doing it for ten years straight."

You will eventually. Promise. But you'll laugh at them more. Seriously, looking at what people in my home town wore - and still wear - thank Christ on a bike I never fitted in.
posted by mippy at 3:42 AM on August 27, 2008 [1 favorite]

I love these just for the stylings of the photography backdrops and soft focus/light use alone! I wan't to go get a headshot done with some laser-beam background, man, where can I do that?
posted by dabitch at 4:36 AM on August 27, 2008

I don't think that the Grimaldi family sent in their own photo though. But it fits right in.
posted by dabitch at 4:39 AM on August 27, 2008

I bet a good handful of those people are veritable tigers in the sack.

If you mean hairy backs, long toenails, and pointed ears, you may be right.
posted by pracowity at 4:51 AM on August 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

HAHA these people are ugly AND dress funny!
posted by cj_ at 4:51 AM on August 27, 2008

I had long hair in high school and, as any rebellious red-blooded American male would, proudly and defiantly wore it out and long for my high school senior picture (which was taken at the beginning of the 90s.) My grandmother said to me "Back in the 60s, your uncle had long hair, and he had his school pictures taken with it just like that..."

I felt a small twinge of familial pride, perhaps, at that point. Yeah, bucking the status quo runs in our family, eh? Awesome. Always knew it.

But my grandmother continued with "...and nowadays we look back at those pictures and he just looks so silly in them, we both laugh and laugh..."

I was stung. Oh man was I stung. But I knew deep down inside I'd never feel that way. Oh no, not me! Never ever ever ever in a million years! This is how I am, man!




There's a reason why my high school senior portrait is packed in a box and stashed down in the basement (or up in the attic eaves, I can't remember which.)
posted by Spatch at 5:19 AM on August 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

My school's version of Chris wore a green army jacket with "AC/DC" written on the back in black magic marker. He hung out in the smoking lounge and was tall and slim and had a loping walk. He never wore shorts, except for in gym glass, and his legs were startlingly white.

Because of those vulnerable white legs, my school's version of me had the most stupefying crush on him.

This post is so close to home. I found the photos to be bittersweet.
posted by suki at 5:25 AM on August 27, 2008 [2 favorites]

Today's Achewood is apropos.
posted by Drexen at 5:32 AM on August 27, 2008

It took me awhile to figure out what "Usa" was. Oo-sah? Oh! U.S.A. (or USA, whichever you prefer).

I think it might be time for tea.
posted by fiercecupcake at 6:13 AM on August 27, 2008

Anyone remember the great safety pin shortage of 1987, caused by millions of teenagers sticking them on every square inch of denim?
posted by desjardins at 6:37 AM on August 27, 2008

Is "cousins" a euphemism?

It's a euphemism for "brothers." Mario brothers.
posted by designbot at 7:06 AM on August 27, 2008

I remember the school picture laser background, and I'd like to point out that no one ever thought it was cool. The problem was you had three choices: Clouds and gay-ass rainbows, tartan plaid, or lasers. Lasers was always just the least offensively awful one.
posted by rusty at 7:33 AM on August 27, 2008

The comments are particularly assholish, mind.
posted by mippy at 7:35 AM on August 27, 2008

Sure, some of these people look kind of goofy, either because of their dress or just because they look goofy, but I think most of us have these types of pictures hidden away somewhere. Lord knows I do.

This wasn't captured in a portrait, but the summer before starting high school I managed to lose my glasses in the ocean. Being poor, my family couldn't afford to replace them, so when school started up in the fall I was still wearing my prescription sunglasses full-time. My dad got permission from the principal for me to wear my sunglasses at school. Large, black plastic framed sunglasses. At the time, I had about shoulder-length hair and an inclination to wear black. Not a gothy style, just black clothes in general, particularly t-shirts. A couple years later, a guy who I became friends with told me "Man, the first time I saw you walk into class our freshman year, my first thought was 'This guy must really like the Ramones!" So I spent the better part of my 1996 freshman year walking around like a Ramones wannabe. The version of me commited to film for posterity, though, was sans sunglasses, so there I've got more of a squinty-eyed glare going on.

Also, all of my elementary school pictures show a fat kid who only slightly resembles the relatively slim guy I grew into.

True stories.
posted by owtytrof at 8:05 AM on August 27, 2008

You think to yourself, "ah, yet another site on the web making fun of the bygone fashions of Middle America".

Then you hit this, and it's all worthwhile.
posted by mkultra at 8:39 AM on August 27, 2008

At night, after I take my contacts out, I put on my old glasses (circa 1980). My boyfriend calls them my "Sally Jesse Raphael Glasses". p.s. I'm a guy. (I don't know why I'm admitting to this.)
posted by MotherTucker at 9:01 AM on August 27, 2008

What is up with this photo?

Why, lemoncello, whatever do you mean?
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 9:26 AM on August 27, 2008

What is up with this photo?

In my day we didn't have no fancy pants photoshop! We did it the right way, with scissors and glue! Get off my lawn!
posted by Solon and Thanks at 10:06 AM on August 27, 2008

I think that it's great that this guy has turned into this guy. He even has his dork pic on his blog.
posted by leftcoastbob at 10:09 AM on August 27, 2008

leftcoastbob, you do know that's mefite chinese_fashion, right?
posted by desjardins at 10:24 AM on August 27, 2008

So... what is great about it? I clicked both links. Explain.
posted by Zambrano at 10:26 AM on August 27, 2008

*shudders*

My mother made me get a perm in 1979. I was born in 1971. I made sure to destroy all of those pictures when I was 18.
posted by peewinkle at 12:34 PM on August 27, 2008

This is 800 times better if you look through the pictures with other people around. My (highly nerdy) coworkers and I have been laughing ourselves into coughing fits for the past half hour, and calling up similarly awful photos of ourselves. Just incredibly good.

soundtracked by the soulless glass-crack of the first generation of digital keyboards.

You take that back or I'll feed you to My Pet Monster.
posted by jake at 3:34 PM on August 27, 2008

I was born in 1970 and grew up in the '80s. I remember the bizarrely shaped clothes (based mostly on inverted triangles -- huge shoulders and sleeves) and the women's over-permed hair that looked like Chinese pan-fried noodles covered not in sauce but in mousse and held up usually with a scrunchie. The strong perfumes, like Giorgio.

I went to a prep school, so most students didn't dress like this, instead they wore rugby shirts with stripes and Sebagoes. White turtlenecks with allover little designs. The Official Preppy Handbook stuff.
posted by bad grammar at 4:32 PM on August 27, 2008

Between loquacious' hilarious flashbacks and bad grammar's Giorgio mention, I am having the same symptoms as jake's co-workers. Awesome post and even better comments.
posted by Liosliath at 8:07 AM on August 28, 2008

saffry: "I sometimes feel guilty that I haven't taken my young kids to do a family portrait like so many of my co-workers do. Feeling much better about that now."

What are you saying? That my children are going to resent this some day? Or this?
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:16 PM on August 28, 2008 [2 favorites]

Excellent portrait Corpse. As soon as I find a studio where I can wear a bonnet and hoop skirt, I'm signing up.
posted by saffry at 3:21 PM on August 28, 2008