30 Seconds of Pillowdrome

November 8, 2008 8:33 PM

PILLOWDROME NUMBER OF PLAYERS- Standard play: 2 Tournament play: 3 - Infinite. EQUIPMENT: 2 identical pillows 1 suburban-style kitchen island Alcohol (recommended). STRATEGY: There are two known strategies, and infinite unknown strategies: Go fast and try to catch the other guy. The aggresive player will attempt to catch up to the other, focusing on moving as quickly as possible. This strategy relies upon SPEED. Pillow management. This more defensive policy focuses upon preservation of a balanced pillow. The player circles just quickly enough to avoid the other. This strategy relies upon ENDURANCE.
posted by vronsky (22 comments total)

Fluff you! Mutherfluffer!
posted by Balisong at 8:49 PM on November 8, 2008

We have been playing this for 20 minutes. Additional strategies: Clomp your feet hard to psych out the opponent. Pull out a chair behind you to slow down the opponent.
posted by LarryC at 9:19 PM on November 8, 2008

When I saw PILLOWDROME I so wanted this to be about how you pack the feathers of the pillow tightly into one corner and then twist the open end up so you have the perfect bedroom weapon.

Oh well.
posted by Cyrano at 9:25 PM on November 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

I think this should be in the olympics; "third-world" women would be placing in the top twenty so much faster than any urban hipster-boy could run a quarter-way round any kitchenette.
posted by not_on_display at 9:43 PM on November 8, 2008

Can't we get Beyond Pillowdrome
posted by nola at 9:58 PM on November 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

This is so awesome.
posted by knowles at 10:26 PM on November 8, 2008

I agree with Cyrano a bit. I think this needs less racing and more gladiatorial combat - you each balance a pillow on your head and use a second pillow to try to knock your opponent's off.
posted by wanderingmind at 11:13 PM on November 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

...so you have the perfect bedroom weapon.

I've got your perfect bedroom weapon right here.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 11:25 PM on November 8, 2008 [4 favorites]

"Very small children should not play, as they are likely to be killed."

And that's a bad thing. Thanks. Got it. Ok, important safety tip there.

That said - bored in Maui?
posted by Smedleyman at 11:27 PM on November 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

This is fantastic. I only wish our island was big enough to play this around.
posted by Kimothy at 11:29 PM on November 8, 2008

This is fantastic. I only wish our island was big enough to play this around.

...although, we do have entrances to both sides of the kitchen... MARATHON PILLOWDROME!
posted by Kimothy at 11:32 PM on November 8, 2008

BORING!!!

(Sorry. Had to do it. Besides, everyone knows the best use of pillows is for achieving interesting sexual positions, or muffling socially-inappropriate cries of ecstasy.)
posted by markkraft at 12:12 AM on November 9, 2008

No, this is important, this is pillow fights as NASCAR or something, it just needs to be studied and dechiphered.

Yes. Oh yes.
posted by vrakatar at 2:34 AM on November 9, 2008

Two pillows enter, one pillow leaves.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:08 AM on November 9, 2008

Give them each a loaded .45 and THEN you've got an interesting competition.
posted by HuronBob at 4:32 AM on November 9, 2008

I only wish our island was big enough to play this around.

Do you live on an island smaller than Maui?
posted by Roger Dodger at 5:55 AM on November 9, 2008 [1 favorite]

If the strategies are unknown how are they known to be infinite? Existence proof?
posted by DU at 8:34 AM on November 9, 2008

If the strategies are unknown how are they known to be infinite?

One strategy would be to build what I would call a "stargate" and direct its wormhole's path toward a solar flare in order to go back in time and gimp your opponent's leg. And I'm just one person. Think about all the other possibilities.
posted by troybob at 8:42 AM on November 9, 2008 [3 favorites]

I'm glad this exists and that people are discussing it on the internet.

That is actually all I currently have to add to conversation!
posted by defenestration at 11:09 AM on November 9, 2008

If the fluff of the pillows were cleansed all strategy would appear to the bored as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all pillows thru' alcohol and nooks in his suburban-style kitchen island.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:30 AM on November 9, 2008

file under: things to do with the boyfriend later tonight.

SOMEBODY'S gotta finish off that horrible vanilla vodka sometime.
posted by aliceinreality at 12:18 PM on November 9, 2008

I'm glad this stayed up. I woke up this morning thinking, did I really post pillowdrome to mefi last night?!? Cortex will probably beat me with his pizzle! But something about the way the guys are doing something so stupid, but trying so hard anyway, cracked me up, and reminded me of hanging out, being bored with my best friend in college. We probably would have added a rule where you have to sing "kill the wabbit" from What's Opera Doc as you ran, or else tried to involve fireworks somehow.

And yes! that vanilla vodka is awful - I ended up pouring a bottle down the drain. I got tired of looking at it.



(your monkey called is a good blog.)
posted by vronsky at 3:08 PM on November 9, 2008