Think of the children: hurt this man's face.

February 12, 2009 9:46 AM

His beard can lift random objects… and the human spirit. Every Friday, MeFi's own eamondaly will use his facial hair to lift things for charity. He'll add one pound per hundred dollars raised until he hits $5K (or his beard gives up the ghost). [via mefi projects]
posted by Damn That Television (25 comments total)

I should note that his first lift occurs tomorrow, at 7 pounds.
posted by Damn That Television at 9:50 AM on February 12, 2009

Oh dear, I do not see the 'giving up the ghost' section of his efforts will be pleasant.
posted by flibbertigibbet at 10:29 AM on February 12, 2009

Don't fear, flibbertigibbet. I have seen this beard, and I believe.
posted by Iridic at 10:33 AM on February 12, 2009

Will he be documenting this on video or still pictures? Because I, for one, do not want to miss the exact moment when the ever-growing weight pulls the skin off his face.

Sorry, but that was worth a contribution of at least $5 from me...
posted by wendell at 10:41 AM on February 12, 2009 [1 favorite]

THINGS ARE GETTING HAIRY
posted by seagull.apollo at 10:44 AM on February 12, 2009

I too have faith in the beard. But based on the training photos, I worry about Eamon's back. He really should be lifting with his legs. I really don't feel comfortable about donating unless he wears a weight belt.
posted by hydrophonic at 10:49 AM on February 12, 2009

I suspect that the more hairs he recruits, the more weight he'll be able to lift before fatal catastrophic face ripping occurs.

Recruit the sideburns!
posted by porpoise at 10:57 AM on February 12, 2009

@hydrophonic: Maybe a neckbrace is more appropriate? This actually could put a nasty stain on his neck...

So, 50 pounds... Has anyone ever bothered testing how many pounds the average hair can support? In the interest of creating a fivethirtyeight style projection, I'd like to make some force vector diagrams to see if this is possible.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:04 AM on February 12, 2009

I lifted my 70 or so pound nice with mine at one point. Or maybe she was only 30 pounds and it felt like 70.

I just held my hand in real close and tight around my chin, which left her just enough to dangle from. She was maybe 4 or 5 at the time, so whatever a kids that size weighs. No way I was going to trust to the hair roots to support the idea, but the hair itself managed just fine.

Oh, by the way, the Joaquin Phoenix thread is 7 down.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:11 AM on February 12, 2009

Has the failure mode of the human beard been studied (say, with a cadaver) ? Is it hair-ripping or flesh-ripping?
posted by 0xFCAF at 11:13 AM on February 12, 2009

Thanks for posting this, Damn That Television!

@wendell: Yes, there will definitely be documentation! And you're not the first to express that sentiment, which I'm completely okay with.

@hydrophonic: The problem is that the body gets in the way of the lift, so I had to bend over to give the lifted item clearance. I haven't quite solved that particular issue. Believe it or not, I just happen to have a neck weight harness, so I'm seriously considering bulking up a bit.

@mccarty.tim: I tried to find any sort of studies on beards and/or facial skin strength and came up with nothing. I lifted 20 pounds or so during the test run and 50 seemed like a nice, round number, so here we are.

Donations have clearly spiked since this was posted, so thanks so much, MeFites! You're the best!
posted by eamondaly at 11:25 AM on February 12, 2009

This is a beard that could lift mountains. I have seen it.
posted by me3dia at 11:49 AM on February 12, 2009

Is it hair-ripping or flesh-ripping?

I imagine whatever is holding the weight to the beard will fail long before the follicles or the hair.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 12:37 PM on February 12, 2009

I hope the beard in question has approached Meccano for sponsorship. It would be the toy marketing coup of the century! I mean, who doesn't love beards?

P.S. despite pushing forty, my sparse, wispy excuse for facial hair is ashamed. Kudos, beardmeister.
posted by bokeh at 12:39 PM on February 12, 2009

Hair is very strong. To the point where a ponytail can support a person's weight, if suspended from it.

That said, you want to make sure that the weight is distributed VERY evenly across the beard, because sudden movements or the weight somehow being supported by only a small patch of skin could lead to bad times. 50 pounds, hung gently, across an entire beard seems quite safe though.
posted by explosion at 12:51 PM on February 12, 2009

This beard has lifted my spirits.


My beard lifts skirts. Not as good for charity.
posted by orme at 1:05 PM on February 12, 2009

I hope turns out better than last week's Metafilter Mustache Rides for Charity.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:45 PM on February 12, 2009

(That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me)
posted by kittens for breakfast at 1:50 PM on February 12, 2009

Re: ergonomic issues of weight lifting by beard. There was a blog linked approximately last week to a post on bench pressing. Elsewhere in that blog there was some useful information on lifting with the teeth using a mouth harness. Sounds like a lot of the same issues would come up, WRT neck strength etc.
posted by exogenous at 1:52 PM on February 12, 2009

Naw, the neck strength thing won't be a problem. I used to lift Bebe' the Circus Queen with a mouth harness back in my sideshow days. Truth be told, she only weighed about 100 pounds, but I was also able to swing her back and forth after practicing the stunt for a while.

With all due respect to eamondaly, I think you should turn it up a few notches...
posted by Tube at 7:18 PM on February 12, 2009

Lifting stuff with facial hair? Oh please, that's NUTHIN.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:51 PM on February 12, 2009

miss lynnster, I think we'll all be happier if Eamon sticks to showing off his whiskers. I don't want the Chicago meet-ups to be banned from the Billy Goat.

This isn't the first time he's raised money with his facial hair, by the way.
posted by hydrophonic at 4:23 PM on February 13, 2009

John Shaw turns it up a notch.

This is one of the most impressive sideshow stunts I've seen in many years.
posted by Tube at 10:36 AM on February 14, 2009

This just made the morning free paper in London.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 2:27 AM on February 16, 2009

I doubt anyone is checking this thread, but I figured I'd post a status update anyway:

- Chicagoans, if you like cupcakes, Baking for the Taking will deliver a dozen beard-decorated cupcakes to you anywhere in the city for just $25 and they'll donate $10 of that to Off the Street Club. You gotta see these things.

- As of this moment, I've received $3,694.00 and lifted a Millennium Falcon model, a roller derby championship trophy, one of Bozo's Grand Prize Game buckets, and a mountain bike. I'm trying to cut a deal with a local Greek joint to lift a 40 pound gyro cone next week, but to do that we'll have to break $4,000. If you were at all thinking about donating, even $5 will help get me there!

- If you are completely broke and can't spare a dollar, you can still contribute! Just download a beard and some heavy things, take a picture of yourself, and upload it to the Facebook group, and I'll make a donation on your behalf! A printer, scissors, and floss is all you need!

Hooray for beards and kids!
posted by eamondaly at 12:06 PM on March 11, 2009