How to eat a chicken wing
October 30, 2009 2:19 PM   Subscribe

 
mathowie?
posted by found missing at 2:23 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Insert wing lengthwise into maw. Close teeth and lips. Pull bones out, leaving meaty goodness behind.

Bonus -- this method leaves only two fingers messy.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 2:23 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


"It drives me insane, it's not how you eat a chicken wing."

BITE ME
posted by longsleeves at 2:26 PM on October 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


man, who knew there was even a right way to do this.
posted by empath at 2:27 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


I eat chicken wings with chopsticks so my fingers don't get messy at all.

(Can't watch Youtube right now so I hope I'm not being redundant.)
posted by kmz at 2:27 PM on October 30, 2009


empath: "man, who knew there was even a right way to do this."

Not this guy.
posted by Science! at 2:28 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


WHY DID I NOT THINK OF THIS?

Oh right, because I never order wings since they're always so annoying and messy to eat.
posted by shoebox at 2:29 PM on October 30, 2009


FoodWishes is great. I've made some good stuff from his videos.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 2:29 PM on October 30, 2009


Yeah, this is visually impressive but I don't really have any problem eating flat wings the "gnaw around" way. Just press out on the meat between the two bones a little bit with your tongue as you're eating the rest, then grab it with your teeth and you're golden.

And with that comment, I formally abandon my hopes of one day going out with Natalie Portman.
posted by Riki tiki at 2:30 PM on October 30, 2009 [17 favorites]


MetaFilter: Hold the skinny end tight and grab the bigger bone.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:31 PM on October 30, 2009


The best way to eat a chicken wing, courtesy of The Token Vegetarian:

1) Give chicken wing to someone else.

Fin.

Mathematicians might recognize this as "reduction to a proven-solved problem". Middle-management types might also recognize this as an "NMP" issue. Either way, I'm happy, and so is the recipient problem-solver.
posted by TheNewWazoo at 2:32 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Why did I just watch a crazy person?
posted by The Whelk at 2:33 PM on October 30, 2009 [3 favorites]


a transcription of shmegegge watching this video:

shmegegge: haha, look at this tool. some people just get way too into certain things. this is so funny.

...

huh. that bone just comes right out? oh, that... well, that WOULD make it more convenient to...

THE OTHER BONE JUST COMES RIGHT OUT, TOO?!

oh my god, this is why I always hated wings. this... this is totally how you should eat wings.

I'm so sorry I mocked you, dude internet.
posted by shmegegge at 2:33 PM on October 30, 2009 [39 favorites]


"man, who knew there was even a right way to do this."
who thought there was a wrong way to do this?
posted by rpn at 2:35 PM on October 30, 2009


I think the answer to that question is "mu".
posted by Salvor Hardin at 2:37 PM on October 30, 2009


who thought there was a wrong way to do this?

So wrong.
posted by gman at 2:37 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I know several people who would pay good money to learn "how to eat a chicken wing" (as opposed to "how to eat twenty or thirty chicken wings.")
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:37 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


How to eat a chicken wing:

Put a whole live chicken in your mouth.
Spit out everything that's not wing.
posted by qvantamon at 2:39 PM on October 30, 2009 [15 favorites]


Oh, god, chicken feet. I tried, I really did. I stuck that thing in my mouth. I sucked the meat off of one of those toes. Never again. Oh...oh, god.
posted by adamdschneider at 2:41 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


This inspired me to have wings tonight.
posted by Morpeth at 2:41 PM on October 30, 2009


qvant, that is technically how to eat two chicken wings.
posted by longsleeves at 2:44 PM on October 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


Pedant.
posted by Joe Beese at 2:44 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


This inspired me to have chicken feet tonight.
posted by boo_radley at 2:46 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Assuming this works, I'll be quite thankful.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:47 PM on October 30, 2009


This almost inspires me to become a militant vegetarian, just so I can say "EATING MEAT IS ALWAYS WRONG!"

VEGGIEBURGER
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:49 PM on October 30, 2009


I remember loving chicken feet when I was a kid. Also, fish eyeballs. Fish fins. Chicken brains.

Don't really enjoy any of the above anymore, though the last one is only because it's hard to find chicken with the heads intact around here.

I do still enjoy the little bit of congealed blood or whatever it is under a chicken thigh. (Anybody know what exactly that is?) Mmm chicken thigh.
posted by kmz at 2:49 PM on October 30, 2009


What do you call the different parts of wings?

The ones with just one bone, I think I've heard them called drummies?

And the tiny little ones, are these 'tips'? (I don't think I've ever seen these served by themselves, only when the wing is served whole.)

So what do you call the whole wing? You know the one with all three pieces.

And what do you call the two-bone wings that are in this video?

Is there a generic name that refers to all three separate parts of the wing? The legs of the wing? The joints of the wing?

I'm curious, just not curious enough to waste an Ask Me on this.

Anyway, I thought that was a neat way of eating a 2-boner.

Wait, that sounded dirty, didn't it? See? That's why it's so crucial that we give these things a proper name.
posted by marsha56 at 2:51 PM on October 30, 2009


I hate to be a buzzkill, but I could have eaten 6 chicken wings in the time he spent deboning that one. Even if he were slowing it down 50% for the video, I'd still have a massive lead on him. You have a tongue for a reason, people! Use it to separate the meat between the bones!

And yes, it is true that you should savor your food rather than going for speed. However, I prefer the underlying eating techniques to be fast so that I can optimize tasting times. If I spend too much time fiddling with a chicken wing at a party, chances are they will all be gone by the time I'm ready to savor the next one.

Also, HI I'M ON METAFILTER AND I CAN OVERTHINK A PLATE OF WINGS!
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:53 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Am--am I really the only person here who's always done it this way? It just seemed so...obvious.

Well, either that or just take one bone out and eat like a drumstick.
posted by darksasami at 2:53 PM on October 30, 2009


This is far too civilized for wings.

To eat a chicken wing, place one tip on your plate while holding it upright by the other end with two fingers and a thumb. Then, mash your two fingers and thumbs downwards towards the plate ripping all that delicious wing meat off the bone as messily as possible. Shove wing meat down gullet. Repeat until plate is finished.

If your hands and face are not covered in bits of torn chicken and large smears of hot sauce by the time you finish your plate, you're doing it wrong. Roaring like a viking after every chicken wing is also encouraged.
posted by threetoed at 2:56 PM on October 30, 2009 [6 favorites]


The ones with just one bone, I think I've heard them called drummies?

I think drumette is the usual term. I'm sure there's variants.

And the tiny little ones, are these 'tips'? (I don't think I've ever seen these served by themselves, only when the wing is served whole.)

And what do you call the two-bone wings that are in this video?


I've usually heard the two-bone part called the "flapper". But it seems some people call that part the "flat" and the tips "flappers".
posted by kmz at 2:57 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Burhanistan: "Actually, this is more or less how SE Asians eat chicken feet. Put cooked food in mouth, mash with palate, spit out half a dozen tiny bones, ingest. It was a bit of an eye opener to me the first time I saw an impeccably dressed, refined, and beautiful Javanese woman doing this, but then it seemed tame to me after I saw them eating fish heads. Yum."

Wait, you're supposed to put the whole foot in your mouth? I had one or two chicken feet while I was in China, but I was a much more tentative, bite off each finger and de-meat that kind of eater.
posted by graventy at 2:57 PM on October 30, 2009


>
The tips are the part that come on the end of the wing. They're small, boney, and have almost no meat. Most cooks throw them away or save them for stock. They come with packaged wings at the supermarket, though, so some homecooks prepare them, although you cannot make a good appetizer from them. The best you can do is suck on them to get the seasonings and a bit of chicken fat out. I think they're just packaged to bulk up the weight so consumers pay more.

As for the other parts, I don't know.
posted by mccarty.tim at 2:57 PM on October 30, 2009


Next time I have wings, I am going to try this. Non-critical comment, 100% snark free.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 3:00 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


>
Do I need to pass out in the cup of bleu cheese dressing in order to be a viking, or do I just need to be one who succeeds at something?
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:00 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Little known fact: the hands in that video? Natalie Portman. Natalie Portman.
posted by jefficator at 3:02 PM on October 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


Insert wing lengthwise into maw. Close teeth and lips. Pull bones out, leaving meaty goodness behind.

I was at a burger place over the summer and there was a dude sitting by himself at a table eating a large bowl of wings. He used the above method and didn't move or even twitch his face a little bit while he was eating. He would just pick up a wing, put it in his mouth, hold it there for a few seconds without his mouth or jaw evidencing the tiniest bit of movement, and without the slightest movement of any other part of his body, then take out a completely stripped bone and set it on the table, repeating the process like 25 times. He freaked me the fuck out, eating like he was some kind of chicken wing sarlacc pit.
posted by brain_drain at 3:08 PM on October 30, 2009 [19 favorites]


I like to use a similar technique to eat chicken thighs. Twist/Pull the littel bone, leaving the large bone remaining on the side. I am left with a nearly unobstructed meat cookie that I can bite straight through.

I hadn't thought of this with the wings though.
posted by Hicksu at 3:20 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


I only eat boneless "chicken wings". They can be eaten with a fork. And they're less likely to be covered in icky Buffalo sauce.
posted by muddgirl at 3:20 PM on October 30, 2009


The funny part to me was when he deboned that wing part and then called it "100% meat". More like 50% meat/50% skin and fat. Just sayin'.

(And I look forward to trying this method. I also enjoy watching how individuals eat hardshell blue crabs. Some of you really have NO CLUE what you're supposed to be doing. Maybe there's a video for that.)
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:21 PM on October 30, 2009


It's strange watching this video after reading through the Natalie Portman thread. I can't help seeing people in my mind's eye watching this video with a look of horor on their face like they're watching a snuff film.
posted by nola at 3:22 PM on October 30, 2009


MetaFilter: A nearly unobstructed meat cookie that I can bite straight through.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 3:22 PM on October 30, 2009


Just to be clear I'm not snarking at anyone I just think it must be hard to get through the day with that kind of perspective on the world.
posted by nola at 3:23 PM on October 30, 2009


So, it's as complicated as opening the Hellraiser puzzle box, if I'm following the video correctly?

I'll keep doing what I'm doing:
1. insert wing into mouth.
2. In one smooth action, use extreme meatsuck power plus some kinky tounguework to extract meat.
3. Pull out clean bone.

There's a saying in my family:
"There's no such thing as meat left on a bone."
We learn it very young.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 3:25 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


He would just pick up a wing, put it in his mouth, hold it there for a few seconds without his mouth or jaw evidencing the tiniest bit of movement, and without the slightest movement of any other part of his body, then take out a completely stripped bone and set it on the table, repeating the process like 25 times.

“Do nothing which is of no use.”
-Miyamoto Musashi

Truly, you were in the presence of a master.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:27 PM on October 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


There's a saying in my family:
"There's no such thing as meat left on a bone."
We learn it very young.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts 1 minute ago [1 favorite -] Favorite added!


Is that you, father-in-law/wife/all-greek-family-members?
posted by Pantengliopoli at 3:28 PM on October 30, 2009


Results 1 - 100 of about 194,000,000 for how to eat natalie portman video

What?

I was just checking.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:29 PM on October 30, 2009


how individuals eat hardshell blue crabs. Some of you really have NO CLUE what you're supposed to be doing.

Is the answer, throw most of it away?
posted by smackfu at 3:35 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


ain't no thang but a chicken wang.

though, technically chickens don't have wangs, they have cloacae
posted by Jon_Evil at 3:35 PM on October 30, 2009


Didn't anyone else find the concept of eating the knobby cartilage part gross? Part of the reason I like pulling my wings apart is that there are parts other than the bone that I don't like to eat. I don't trust that his method isn't gonna leave hunks of cartilage in there, particularly given his repeated assertion that he loves the stuff.
posted by hifiparasol at 3:37 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Is that you, father-in-law/wife/all-greek-family-members?

Eastern European Jews that spent a lot of time in the US South, actually. Bones. Nomnomnom!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 3:46 PM on October 30, 2009


Guess what?

Chicken butt! AAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
posted by dirigibleman at 3:53 PM on October 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


They'll never be a similar episode on how to eat Wings, since Linda McCartney is no more.
posted by waraw at 3:54 PM on October 30, 2009


> I do still enjoy the little bit of congealed blood or whatever it is under a chicken thigh.(Anybody know what exactly that is?)

That's the kidneys. They are indeed delicious.

Also, the knobby cartilage part isn't gross, it's yummy, as is the spongy bone at the end of the leg; and of course the marrow of a well-seasoned chicken is ambrosia, once you've cracked the bone shaft open with your teeth. One thing about coming from a traditional Mexican family -- you really learn how to eat a chicken. (Though I never got to try the feet. As matriarch, my great-grandmother always claimed the "best part" for herself.)
posted by darksasami at 3:58 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


This inspired me to have chicken feet tonight.
posted by boo_radley at 2:46 PM on October 30 [+] [!]


Come over to my backyard and watch my chickens scratch around in dirt and chicken poop, and you'll be cured of that inspiration right fast.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:04 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Heck, if that bothered me, I'd have to find chicken anus even more disgusting--and that's ridiculous.
posted by found missing at 4:08 PM on October 30, 2009


More power to you!
posted by mudpuppie at 4:15 PM on October 30, 2009


coop calamari we call it
posted by found missing at 4:17 PM on October 30, 2009


Is the answer, throw most of it away?
posted by smackfu at 3:35 PM on October 30 [1 favorite +] [!]


Not according to this guy. Yeesh.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 4:27 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


On the one hand: Yeah, that looks pretty convenient.
On the other hand: If I ever try it, I'm going to envisioning him eating cartilage.
posted by DU at 4:29 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


That's the kidneys.

I'm about 1000% sure that chicken kidneys are not in their thighs.
posted by empath at 4:34 PM on October 30, 2009 [5 favorites]


Oooh, the end bit of the wing (or as I think of it, the wingtip). Delicious if cooked through correctly. There used to be a takeaway place near me when I was younger that had amazing BBQ roast chicken; the tips of the wing would be cooked so crispy that everything save the largest bone in that part of the chicken - and sometimes even that - was edible with a small amount of crunching. And it was delicious. My favorite part. Lots of people think that's gross, but I find that these tend to be the kinds of people who enjoy the parson's nose, so different horses for different courses, I say.
posted by MarchHare at 4:35 PM on October 30, 2009 [1 favorite]


Is the answer, throw most of it away?

I only eat the claws. I'm a terrible Marylander.
posted by empath at 4:36 PM on October 30, 2009


I'd have to find chicken anus even more disgusting--and that's ridiculous

Ahh..fond Thanksgiving memories of my grandfather, mother and uncle all fighting over who gets to eat the turkey's tuchus. Good times, good times!
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 4:54 PM on October 30, 2009


What do you call the different parts of wings?

The way I've heard it is: drum, flat, and tip. I believe Julia Child called the tips "nubbins," though I'm sure she didn't make a lot of chicken wings.

Also, I love Chef John. His website always has more information than the youtube videos. I made these wings for the Super Bowl last year and they were quite delicious.
posted by amarie at 5:21 PM on October 30, 2009


you can also just hold the wing upright on the tip of the bone, and pull down between your thumb and index finger. pulls all the meat of and leaves bone. i personally hate having to involve more than one hand in the process of eating wings but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
posted by rare_g at 6:01 PM on October 30, 2009


Damn it, MetaFilter, where were you yesterday at 35-cent wing night?
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 6:02 PM on October 30, 2009


This is why Crom created metafilter.

Exactly why.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:33 PM on October 30, 2009


I only eat the claws. I'm a terrible Marylander.

My eyes were opened when I saw a Dirty Jobs on crab processors. I was all excited to see how the pros did it. Well, they do it by taking off the claws. It's too much work to do anything with the bodies so they just shred them and use them for dogfood or compost or something.
posted by smackfu at 7:18 PM on October 30, 2009


Much too fussy.
posted by HTuttle at 7:25 PM on October 30, 2009


MetaFilter: extreme meatsuck power plus some kinky tounguework.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:42 PM on October 30, 2009


My catholic grandfather calls it the pope's nose. I'm not sure where you got "parson's nose" from, MarchHare, but I am willing to exacerbate every regional difference in what to call every part of a chicken until this thread becomes like wikipedia for people who want to eat very specific parts of the chicken in any place on Earth.

"Hey, could you pass me the nubbins and some thighs with the oyster intact?"
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:09 PM on October 30, 2009


And by the way, Eaugh! Who the fuck eats the cartilage? What is wrong with you people?!
posted by dirigibleman at 8:25 PM on October 30, 2009


this video has the highest metafilter comment to youtube hit ratio I've ever seen
posted by derekpaco at 8:53 PM on October 30, 2009


Metafilter: Put cooked food in mouth, mash with palate, spit out half a dozen tiny bones, ingest.
posted by mannequito at 9:53 PM on October 30, 2009


And by the way, Eaugh! Who the fuck eats the cartilage? What is wrong with you people?!
posted by dirigibleman An hour ago [+]


I eat the wings and pass the bones to my wife. When she's done, it's like they've been bead-blasted. It's amazing...
posted by Pantengliopoli at 9:55 PM on October 30, 2009


I don't, but to get all EWWW about it is childish and close minded.

OK, wow. Apparently we are supposed to take this whole thread DEADLY SERIOUS. Well, in that case...

Millions. Tens of millions. Of people don't eat cartilage because they literally have no way to get such a food source, not even from the lowly chicken. Because they are starving. To death, you callous fuck.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:21 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]




I'm about 1000% sure that chicken kidneys are not in their thighs.

No, but depending on how the butcher cuts the bird up, the part that gets sold as a thigh can include some of the back meat too, and even a little bit of the backbone. When that happens, you often get a tasty little kidney clinging in next to the backbone. It's like winning the chicken dismemberment lottery.
posted by nebulawindphone at 10:48 PM on October 30, 2009 [2 favorites]


Who the fuck eats the cartilage? What is wrong with you people?!

You know what makes gravy shiny?

It's like winning the chicken dismemberment lottery.

I keep trying to win the chicken dismemberment lottery, but my luck is offal.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:31 PM on October 30, 2009 [4 favorites]


For me the problem is not how chicken wings go in but how they come out.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:41 PM on October 30, 2009


I've always found it weird how some people have a hard time eating chicken wings. Having said that, the method in that video looks too fussy to me. I don't have time to play around with my wing like before I eat it. Taking apart *is* key to good wing eating, and I guess if you did it enough you'd get fast at it, but the hands are just way too involved in this. And you can't get as much access to meat for optimal clean bonedness. This method isn't friendly to those who find cartilage gross, but look, here's what I do for maximum wings hoovering and leaving only a clean pile of bones: Just put one end in your mouth, use your front chopper teeth to bite between those two bones that the guy in the video so laboriously took apart by removing the cartilage first and twisting, and then rotating slightly to the left at the same time, while tilting at a 45 degree angle and sneezing. Oh, look, now all you have to do just pull the two apart easily and stick each piece in your mouth and scrape the meat off like a Warner Bros. character putting a turkey drumstick in his mouth and just pulling out the bone. Come on, dude in the video, eating wings should not be like taking apart an erector set.
posted by kkokkodalk at 12:51 AM on October 31, 2009


Isn't the point of chicken wings that you're eating a messy, fun food?
posted by crataegus at 1:19 AM on October 31, 2009 [2 favorites]


So I tried it last night. It's far more difficult than it looks. Perhaps it's because I was working with deep fried wings slathered with buttery, vinegary hot sauce, but breaking off the cartilege was a slippery ordeal, and the twisting of the bones made the delicious crispy batter break apart and crumble.
posted by Morpeth at 8:22 AM on October 31, 2009


They are definitely called "drums" and "flats"

Duff's--which has the best wings in Buffalo and, likely, the world--has a sign informing customers that they request all flats or all drums.
posted by meta_eli at 9:20 AM on October 31, 2009


While you all argue about what the parts are called and if people are starving, I'm salivating over the words "pastrami chicken wings with russian dressing dipping sauce". Where have these been my whole life? A new invention you say?
posted by bDiddy at 11:18 AM on October 31, 2009


I'm just not clear on how "pastrami" work as a food adjective. Do the pastrami spices really work outside of the context? Do they read as pastrami rather than just heavily peppered?
posted by smackfu at 11:20 AM on October 31, 2009


This guy is almost right. The way to eat a chicken wing is to hold it opposite the way he did, skin side down, slide index fingers between bones, seperating and removing small bone along with cartilaginous nubbin, eat meat-draped larger bone clean in one bite. Finish by chugging a pint of ranch dressing, screaming, "Yankees suck!" and passing out facedown in the celery.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:18 PM on October 31, 2009


I tried this today: people thought I was a wizard. Along with "peel bananas upside down" and "end of the chip clip", this is one of those food hacks that you never think about until Internet Guy goes "My trickses! Let me show you them!" and your life will never be the same.

Five stars.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 5:36 PM on October 31, 2009


As always, the Japanese have you covered.

People from Nagoya, where one of the local specialties is deep fried chicken wings, tend to use variation D on the far right. No muss, no fuss, all meat.
posted by armage at 5:24 PM on November 1, 2009


Here's a video describing the process.
posted by armage at 5:25 PM on November 1, 2009


MetaFilter: It's like winning the chicken dismemberment lottery
posted by Cogito at 5:58 PM on November 2, 2009


When this works, it's awesome. But sometimes the chicken sticks to the bones more than the battered skin, so you end up with bones + chicken and a pile of skin. Which isn't the worst thing in the world but it's a bit much.
posted by smackfu at 9:35 AM on November 6, 2009


« Older Not a Halloween Post.   |   Black Comedy Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments