“I would never kill a canine,” she said. “I am a canine.”
January 28, 2010 2:55 PM   Subscribe

Meet Wolfie Blackheart.

She wears a tail and likes to decapitate dead dogs with a penknife but would never harm them because she's a werewolf. She keeps a fridge full of dead animals in her room but her mom thinks it's okay because she "likes roadkill". She has Tourettes as a result of a car crash a decade ago, brought a skinning knife to school and is under assault by savvy internet hackers called "trolls". Also she wears a dog collar because she's into bondage, not as a fashion statement. “The collar means I belong to someone,” she says.
posted by nathancaswell (16 comments total)

This post was deleted for the following reason: This is kinda thin, yeah. Without something to make it clear why this is worth looking at, it feels like news-of-the-weird with (intentional or not) shades of point-and-laugh. -- cortex



 
I don't know if this has enough content to stay, but it's too effing crazy and confusing not to post. Is this the most WTF article of all time?
posted by nathancaswell at 2:56 PM on January 28, 2010


I blame Twilight.
posted by billysumday at 2:57 PM on January 28, 2010


I also blame Twilight.
posted by nathancaswell at 2:58 PM on January 28, 2010


I blame poor healthcare and social service networks.
posted by The Whelk at 2:59 PM on January 28, 2010 [2 favorites]


Two weeks later, on Jan. 20, a teenager — likely a troll — stopped Silva near her home

Now that's some quality journalism right there.
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 2:59 PM on January 28, 2010


"Two weeks later, on Jan. 20, a teenager — likely a troll — stopped Silva near her home"

Now that's some quality journalism right there.


Perhaps the author is Icelandic.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:00 PM on January 28, 2010


Dear editors of MySanAntonio.com, please update your Internet Slang/Terminology Handbook.
It also inspired at least one so-called troll — a savvy, anonymous Internet user — to hack into Wolfie’s personal accounts, engage in amateur sleuthing and issue threats to those deemed responsible for the dog’s fate.
Troll has never meant "savvy, anonymous Internet user." If you do not have access to an up-to-date Internet Slang/Terminology handbook, you can turn to UrbanDictionary.com, but cross-check the terms with someone's teenage internet using child.

Wait ... I stopped reading at the above-cited section. If the writer described a troll as anonymous internet user, why would someone who talked to her in real life be a troll? Arglebargle!
posted by filthy light thief at 3:03 PM on January 28, 2010 [1 favorite]


Flagged. This is not 4chan. We don't make fun of otherkin here.
posted by Caduceus at 3:06 PM on January 28, 2010


Flagged for "best of the web? really?"
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 3:08 PM on January 28, 2010


Does otherkin mean "mysanantiono.com reporter"?
posted by nathancaswell at 3:10 PM on January 28, 2010


I thought all this crap started with this.

Twilight is the mainstreaming of the vampire/goth/lycan self delusion that some of our poor bored youth have to navigate through until they settle down as a cashier at Walmart, or find a cubicle of their very own.
posted by Max Power at 3:11 PM on January 28, 2010


Hey, look on the bright side. She could believe she's a blue whale.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:17 PM on January 28, 2010


Wait, I just looked up otherkin. Are we sure we don't make fun of them?
posted by nathancaswell at 3:18 PM on January 28, 2010


This? This is a shitty post.
posted by stenseng at 3:23 PM on January 28, 2010


Amongst people outside the subculture, claims to being otherkin are usually met with perplexity, and often disbelief [citation needed]

Hang on...I have some New England Journal of Medicine hanging around here somewhere. I think they covered it in their Fall 2009 TV preview issue...just a sec...
posted by jimmythefish at 3:26 PM on January 28, 2010


Hey, look on the bright side. She could believe she's a blue whale.

Then she'd be in her neighbor's pool after filling them with krill, and her Tourette syndrome tic would manifest as a low-frequency moan-song. For some reason, falenathropy never really caught on.
posted by filthy light thief at 3:30 PM on January 28, 2010


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