Coming next month to an Empire near you
June 29, 2010 11:17 AM Subscribe
In the months preceding the release of The Empire Strikes Back, a telephone hotline was set up to allow callers to dial in and hear teasers for the movie. In the years since the Bantha Tracks story, fans savvy to the existence of the "Empire Hotline" have sought out recordings of the messages, performed exclusively for the hotline by actors Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker), Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia), Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Anthony Daniels (C-3PO), and James Earl Jones (voice of Darth Vader). Thanks to Craig Miller, Lucasfilm's first director of fan relations, these long-lost recordings can now be heard and enjoyed for the first time in 30 years.
Previously, on the 30th anniversary of Empire.
Previously, on the 30th anniversary of Empire.
Holy cow! Awesome! I still remember seeing the Star Wars-Empire double bill at the now-gone University Theater in Toronto. And I still have a program that says "Revenge of the Jedi" on the ads inside.
posted by GuyZero at 11:24 AM on June 29, 2010
posted by GuyZero at 11:24 AM on June 29, 2010
Anthony Daniels did some voice work for the promotion of Chicago's Museum of Science and Industry for their Star Wars: Where Science Meets Imagination, and I thought it was pretty bad ass that my friend got to write "on hold" messages for C3-PO.
These are cooler but doesn't involve awesome (if my child soul's crushing) backstage gossip.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:29 AM on June 29, 2010
These are cooler but doesn't involve awesome (if my child soul's crushing) backstage gossip.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:29 AM on June 29, 2010
Greedo called first.
posted by Joe Beese at 11:30 AM on June 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by Joe Beese at 11:30 AM on June 29, 2010 [5 favorites]
Hmm. Harrison Ford was phoning it in as Han Solo for longer than I thought.
posted by Verdant at 11:34 AM on June 29, 2010 [4 favorites]
posted by Verdant at 11:34 AM on June 29, 2010 [4 favorites]
I especially like the way the messages bridge the awkward gap between staying in character in the fictional universe (at various inconsistent timelines) and acknowledging the existence of the movie. C3PO's message breaks the fourth wall to the greatest degree, but they all have some hamhandedness about them. Like Han Solo says: "Something tells me it's not going to get any better when the Empire strikes back." *eye roll* It's not quite "I'm just so tired of all these star wars," but it's close.
posted by albrecht at 11:37 AM on June 29, 2010 [9 favorites]
posted by albrecht at 11:37 AM on June 29, 2010 [9 favorites]
Oh, how quaint these are, long before the days of viral videos and stealth message board shill marketing.
Truth is, when the original Star Wars came out, they must have had no budget because I remember going to see it, having never heard of it, just to kill some time on a hot summer afternoon, and being completely blown away. Mind you, I was as much of a computer geek as you could be back then, and even I hadn't heard of it.
As for the Empire Strikes Back, I remember going into Manhattan with a bunch of my friends, and, after the requisite visit to the Compleat Stratigist and Forbidden Planet, we stood on line at some huge movie theater where it was premiering, in a line that stretched around the corner and down the block.
posted by crunchland at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Truth is, when the original Star Wars came out, they must have had no budget because I remember going to see it, having never heard of it, just to kill some time on a hot summer afternoon, and being completely blown away. Mind you, I was as much of a computer geek as you could be back then, and even I hadn't heard of it.
As for the Empire Strikes Back, I remember going into Manhattan with a bunch of my friends, and, after the requisite visit to the Compleat Stratigist and Forbidden Planet, we stood on line at some huge movie theater where it was premiering, in a line that stretched around the corner and down the block.
posted by crunchland at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
I didn't know about this particular hotline, but my cousin and I called the Ghostbusters one constantly.
posted by Legomancer at 11:48 AM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by Legomancer at 11:48 AM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
You know, every time I see new Star Wars apocrypha it just looks and sounds worse and worse. At this point I'm beginning to doubt there was ever a really fun space western movie in the first place.
posted by Nelson at 11:56 AM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by Nelson at 11:56 AM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
Great stuff, thanks for posting it. James Earl Jones came to the library I worked at in the mid-1990's for some kind of program. At the same time, we were just starting to roll out an automated overdue books phone call system. I told everyone who would listen (and some who wouldn't) we HAD to get Mr. Jones to record the message for us. Of course they ignored my suggestion. Damn suits on the third floor had no sense.
posted by marxchivist at 12:05 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
posted by marxchivist at 12:05 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
holy shit Harrison Ford is crazy drunk.
posted by shmegegge at 12:14 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by shmegegge at 12:14 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
At this point I'm beginning to doubt there was ever a really fun space western movie in the first place.
Sounds even funnier if you read it with Comic Book Guy's voice.
posted by i_cola at 12:20 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
Sounds even funnier if you read it with Comic Book Guy's voice.
posted by i_cola at 12:20 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
Nice job, Princess. You've just told the whole universe where you're hiding.
"My Lord Vader, our phone operators have intercepted a transmission from the rebel leader. She claims the rebels are hiding in a secret underground base on the ice planet Hoth."
"Very well, Admiral. Recall the probe droids and set a course for this 'secret' base. We will crush these fools."
posted by Wulfhere at 12:21 PM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
"My Lord Vader, our phone operators have intercepted a transmission from the rebel leader. She claims the rebels are hiding in a secret underground base on the ice planet Hoth."
"Very well, Admiral. Recall the probe droids and set a course for this 'secret' base. We will crush these fools."
posted by Wulfhere at 12:21 PM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
Nice job, Princess. You've just told the whole universe where you're hiding.
She is as clumsy as she is stupid.
posted by albrecht at 12:22 PM on June 29, 2010
She is as clumsy as she is stupid.
posted by albrecht at 12:22 PM on June 29, 2010
My five-year-old's gonna love these! I'll make an iPod playlist out of 'em and put it on repeat next time we're in the car - could be just the tool I need to convince her once and for all that Empire is a far better movie than *wince* Phantom Menace.
Kids these days . . .
Not my inner kid, my actual . . . aw fuck it . . .
posted by gompa at 12:38 PM on June 29, 2010
Kids these days . . .
Not my inner kid, my actual . . . aw fuck it . . .
posted by gompa at 12:38 PM on June 29, 2010
The breathing in Darth Vader's message is all wrong - even he's talking over his own breathing.
posted by Brent Parker at 12:42 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by Brent Parker at 12:42 PM on June 29, 2010
My 3 year old son really likes Star Wars - he calls Episode IV "Luke Star Wars". We introduced him to Empire this past weekend with a lot of talk about it being Scary Star Wars. He was gobsmacked that Darth Vader is Luke's father. He keeps asking about it.
When we go back and forth to his day care, we listen to the Star Wars radio series, during which I remind him that blowing up a planet is NOT OK. My diligence is paying off because when asked if he wants to be an evil overlord, he said that he wants to be a good overlord. Now you know to whom you will be paying homage.
posted by plinth at 1:02 PM on June 29, 2010 [10 favorites]
When we go back and forth to his day care, we listen to the Star Wars radio series, during which I remind him that blowing up a planet is NOT OK. My diligence is paying off because when asked if he wants to be an evil overlord, he said that he wants to be a good overlord. Now you know to whom you will be paying homage.
posted by plinth at 1:02 PM on June 29, 2010 [10 favorites]
The breathing in Darth Vader's message is all wrong - even he's talking over his own breathing.
Seriously! I am more bothered by this than I would have imagined! I mean, christ's sake, it's a breath noise. He can't make that when he's talking. It's not his ring tone. Fucking hell.
posted by cortex at 1:03 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
Seriously! I am more bothered by this than I would have imagined! I mean, christ's sake, it's a breath noise. He can't make that when he's talking. It's not his ring tone. Fucking hell.
posted by cortex at 1:03 PM on June 29, 2010 [3 favorites]
Kids these days . . .
Make her watch this. It covers your point in the first 48 seconds.
If you think you child's too young for it you're a bad parent and you should feel bad.
posted by clarknova at 1:11 PM on June 29, 2010
Make her watch this. It covers your point in the first 48 seconds.
If you think you child's too young for it you're a bad parent and you should feel bad.
posted by clarknova at 1:11 PM on June 29, 2010
I remind him that blowing up a planet is NOT OK
You just reminded me of the last verse of the old Frank Hayes filk song "Never Set the Cat on Fire":
You just reminded me of the last verse of the old Frank Hayes filk song "Never Set the Cat on Fire":
Don't start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses.posted by cerebus19 at 1:22 PM on June 29, 2010
When someone asks you 'what's it for?', you'll only make excuses.
If thirty trillion folks get hurt, you'll go to bed with no dessert!
Don't start an interstellar war.
I mean, christ's sake, it's a breath noise. He can't make that when he's talking. It's not his ring tone. Fucking hell.
Maybe it's my memory failing me or my joke detector needs rebooting, but doesn't Mr. Vader talk over his breath noise all through the original movies? I remember that as being an Original CBG-Style Complaint About Star Wars.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:22 PM on June 29, 2010
Maybe it's my memory failing me or my joke detector needs rebooting, but doesn't Mr. Vader talk over his breath noise all through the original movies? I remember that as being an Original CBG-Style Complaint About Star Wars.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:22 PM on June 29, 2010
Say what you want about the new prequels, but at least General Grevious coughs convincingly.
posted by mazola at 1:26 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by mazola at 1:26 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Maybe it's my memory failing me or my joke detector needs rebooting, but doesn't Mr. Vader talk over his breath noise all through the original movies?
Yup. They may have fixed that in the later movies/re-releases though.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:31 PM on June 29, 2010
Yup. They may have fixed that in the later movies/re-releases though.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:31 PM on June 29, 2010
Maybe it's my memory failing me or my joke detector needs rebooting, but doesn't Mr. Vader talk over his breath noise all through the original movies? I remember that as being an Original CBG-Style Complaint About Star Wars.
Someone will have to check. I don't remember encountering it, but it could be that (a) I didn't notice or (b) it was fixed while Lucas was happily fucking everything else up in the reissues.
But it's six of one, etc. Point is when you actually hang out with Vader, dude obviously doesn't breath like that. I mean, heck.
posted by cortex at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2010
Someone will have to check. I don't remember encountering it, but it could be that (a) I didn't notice or (b) it was fixed while Lucas was happily fucking everything else up in the reissues.
But it's six of one, etc. Point is when you actually hang out with Vader, dude obviously doesn't breath like that. I mean, heck.
posted by cortex at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2010
Wow, there's not many cassettes from 1980 that survive with this level of quality. And I'm sure this wasn't a 50-cent Certron tape, either.
posted by crapmatic at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by crapmatic at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2010
I especially like the way the messages bridge the awkward gap between staying in character in the fictional universe (at various inconsistent timelines) and acknowledging the existence of the movie.
Oh it's still going on. Check out any Twitter feed or Facebook account being used to promote a movie or TV show: "So wait, if you're Vincent Chase, why are you talking about having a show on HBO? Vincent Chase is a movie star, and HBO doesn't seem to exist in his world. Adrian Grenier has a show on HBO."
It also bothers me when people in Halloween costumes keep going in and out of character.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:40 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh it's still going on. Check out any Twitter feed or Facebook account being used to promote a movie or TV show: "So wait, if you're Vincent Chase, why are you talking about having a show on HBO? Vincent Chase is a movie star, and HBO doesn't seem to exist in his world. Adrian Grenier has a show on HBO."
It also bothers me when people in Halloween costumes keep going in and out of character.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:40 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
The breathing in Darth Vader's message is all wrong - even he's talking over his own breathing.
Just be thankful they didn't get David Prowse.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2010
Just be thankful they didn't get David Prowse.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2010
Hello - this - is - Carrie - Fisher - and - I - am - awkwardly - reading - from - a - piece - of - paper.
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:45 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:45 PM on June 29, 2010
From the comments:
Posted by: akalsey | June 28, 2010 2:32 PM
Using Tropo (http://tropo.com) I created a phone app that plays the recordings so you can hear them as they originally were meant to be heard. Call (714) 643-2997 to hear one recording at random. Outside the US? Use SIP at 9991443239@sip.tropo.com or Skype to dial +99000936-9991443239.
(I just tried it; it works.)
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:50 PM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
Posted by: akalsey | June 28, 2010 2:32 PM
Using Tropo (http://tropo.com) I created a phone app that plays the recordings so you can hear them as they originally were meant to be heard. Call (714) 643-2997 to hear one recording at random. Outside the US? Use SIP at 9991443239@sip.tropo.com or Skype to dial +99000936-9991443239.
(I just tried it; it works.)
posted by drjimmy11 at 1:50 PM on June 29, 2010 [2 favorites]
I mean, christ's sake, it's a breath noise. He can't make that when he's talking.
Yeah I thought so too for about one second. Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing aparatus
posted by clarknova at 1:52 PM on June 29, 2010
Yeah I thought so too for about one second. Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing aparatus
posted by clarknova at 1:52 PM on June 29, 2010
Yup, Darth Vader talks while breathing, at least in the original movies. Check out the (SPOILERS!) scene where Luke finds out Vader is his father--a number of the lines have the breathing effect underneath them. I've always thought it was a neat touch from the sound editors, emphasizing just how mechanical and alien Vader has become.
posted by EarBucket at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by EarBucket at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2010
Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing apparatus.
Then why does his breathing get so labored at the end of the final duel in Jedi? Oh right, maybe the breathing apparatus was stored in his hand and that's just the auxiliary breathing apparatus kicking in after it was cut off and...
posted by albrecht at 2:03 PM on June 29, 2010
Then why does his breathing get so labored at the end of the final duel in Jedi? Oh right, maybe the breathing apparatus was stored in his hand and that's just the auxiliary breathing apparatus kicking in after it was cut off and...
posted by albrecht at 2:03 PM on June 29, 2010
Yeah, hippybear, that's actually the only part of that play that's stuck with me, twenty years later. Brock Peters, best known for playing Tom Robinson in the film version of To Kill A Mockingbird (and who, incidentally, played a small recurring character in several of the Star Trek movies) turned in a very nice performance as Vader.
posted by EarBucket at 2:15 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by EarBucket at 2:15 PM on June 29, 2010
And so okay, thanks to these recordings here's the cast of Star Wars singing Tom's Diner, in a fashion, thanks to my ongoing obsession with Echo Nest Remix's afromb.py:
Tom's Cantina
Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing aparatus
Dammit, if only I had an imagination then I'd be able to form a valid opinion about how a fictional character's made-up breathing apparatus functions.
posted by cortex at 2:16 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Tom's Cantina
Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing aparatus
Dammit, if only I had an imagination then I'd be able to form a valid opinion about how a fictional character's made-up breathing apparatus functions.
posted by cortex at 2:16 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
This whole things strikes me as fake.
How can Han Solo leave a message for anyone while he is still frozen in carbonite?
posted by flarbuse at 2:41 PM on June 29, 2010
How can Han Solo leave a message for anyone while he is still frozen in carbonite?
posted by flarbuse at 2:41 PM on June 29, 2010
You are aware that he's frozen in carbonite at the END of the movie which had not been released, which these phone messages are promoting?
These phone messages were recorded in late 1979, presumably after principal photography for Empire was finished, which would put Solo firmly in carbonite at that time.
posted by mazola at 2:56 PM on June 29, 2010
These phone messages were recorded in late 1979, presumably after principal photography for Empire was finished, which would put Solo firmly in carbonite at that time.
posted by mazola at 2:56 PM on June 29, 2010
Wow, Carrie Fisher can barely contain her derision and mockery. Joke's on her though, she will forever be remembered as cinnamon roll hairdo and nothing else.
posted by Locobot at 2:58 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by Locobot at 2:58 PM on June 29, 2010
Where is Chewbaccca's message?!?!?!
posted by GavinR at 3:11 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by GavinR at 3:11 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Joke's on her though, she will forever be remembered as cinnamon roll hairdo and nothing else.
Nope. She'll be remembered as a combination of sexy slave girl and murderous ex-fiancee with a rocket launcher.
Where is Chewbaccca's message?!?!?!
Han picked it up in a plastic bag.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:37 PM on June 29, 2010
Nope. She'll be remembered as a combination of sexy slave girl and murderous ex-fiancee with a rocket launcher.
Where is Chewbaccca's message?!?!?!
Han picked it up in a plastic bag.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 3:37 PM on June 29, 2010
she will forever be remembered as cinnamon roll hairdo and nothing else.
I think you're underestimating the pleasure some of us take in knowing about and remembering epic addictions to drugs.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:40 PM on June 29, 2010
I think you're underestimating the pleasure some of us take in knowing about and remembering epic addictions to drugs.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:40 PM on June 29, 2010
Then I used my imagination and decided that it was part of his suit's breathing aparatus
Actually, I think it has something to do with midichlorians.
posted by cottoncandybeard at 3:57 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
Then why does his breathing get so labored at the end of the final duel in Jedi ? Oh right, maybe the breathing apparatus was stored in his hand and that's just the auxiliary breathing apparatus kicking in after it was cut off and...
His life support system's circuitry had just been repeatedly zapped by the Emperor's force lightening, and he had a lot more injuries than just the hand.
posted by vibrotronica at 4:13 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
His life support system's circuitry had just been repeatedly zapped by the Emperor's force lightening, and he had a lot more injuries than just the hand.
posted by vibrotronica at 4:13 PM on June 29, 2010 [1 favorite]
There has never been a Yentl hotline. Why?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:51 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:51 PM on June 29, 2010
His life support system's circuitry had just been repeatedly zapped by the Emperor's force lightening, and he had a lot more injuries than just the hand.
If you listen closely, you'll clearly hear him wheezing AFTER Luke cuts off his hand but BEFORE he gets zapped by the Emperor. I actually like the effect, because it highlights Vader's weakness and vulnerability at that moment, making his redemption all the more poignant, but it also gives support for the "Vader's breathing as, you know, breathing" theory over the "Vader's breathing as mechanical breathing apparatus that therefore can make breath sounds while Vader is speaking" theory.
posted by albrecht at 8:23 PM on June 29, 2010
If you listen closely, you'll clearly hear him wheezing AFTER Luke cuts off his hand but BEFORE he gets zapped by the Emperor. I actually like the effect, because it highlights Vader's weakness and vulnerability at that moment, making his redemption all the more poignant, but it also gives support for the "Vader's breathing as, you know, breathing" theory over the "Vader's breathing as mechanical breathing apparatus that therefore can make breath sounds while Vader is speaking" theory.
posted by albrecht at 8:23 PM on June 29, 2010
Here's Josh Robert Thompson's take on Robert De Niro auditioning for the part of Darth Vader in Empire.
posted by New Frontier at 10:21 PM on June 29, 2010
posted by New Frontier at 10:21 PM on June 29, 2010
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Also, as usual James Earl Jones steals the show. Whadda voice.
posted by bearwife at 11:23 AM on June 29, 2010