Buy Silver - Crash JP Morgan Chase

November 16, 2010 8:11 AM

Buy Silver - Crash JP Morgan Chase Tired of the too-big-to-fail banks manipulating the global economy for their own gain? JP Morgan Chase and HSBC bank are both under investigation for illegally manipulating the silver market. These banks have created a short position for themselves, and stand to make billions by controlling the silver market. They will likely face a slap on the wrist from the SEC for this fraud. However, if Silver demand surges, and people remove silver from the market place, then the price will rise and the short position will back-fire. If 100,000 oz. of silver are removed from the market, JP Morgan Chase will collapse. There is a growing grass-roots movement to buy up silver, and really punish a too-big-to-fail bank for playing God with the markets. You can buy an ounce of silver for about $30, from many different sources.
posted by Flood (60 comments total)

Note to self: Do not speculate in silver.
posted by Joe Beese at 8:13 AM on November 16, 2010

Yeah right.
posted by felix at 8:13 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Well, seeing as I have only a Chase credit card (and no savings accounts or anything of the like), I'm in!
posted by StarmanDXE at 8:14 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

If you are wondering where to purchase silver, I know of a reputable agent in Nigeria. Please memail me your bank routing number so that my agent may quickly - before it's too late! - access your account and deliver you your silver ASAP.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:16 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

If silver is $30/oz, then 100,000 oz of silver is $3 million.

Three million dollars is going to make JP Morgan Chase collapse?
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 8:17 AM on November 16, 2010 [10 favorites]

If 100,000 oz. of silver are removed from the market, JP Morgan Chase will collapse.

You just pulled this figure out of your ass didn't you?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:18 AM on November 16, 2010 [3 favorites]

I heard that if everyone flushed all the toilets in the Pentagon at the same time, it would explode into millions and millions of tiny double rainbows all singing "A Rollicking Band of Pirates We" in four-part harmony and the whole thing would smell like freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.
posted by the painkiller at 8:19 AM on November 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

Phew, I was worried we might get crucified on a cross of gold!
posted by grobstein at 8:19 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Surely this...
posted by Threeway Handshake at 8:20 AM on November 16, 2010

soooo you're telling me that for an investment of 2.5 to 3 million dollars you can crash Chase?

I remain a bit dubious of this, watch, it'll come out soon that some subsidiarity of JP/Chase actually owns a fuck-ton of Silver and the whole thing is viral marketing to make a double shit-ton of money.

(yes those are actual legal measurements, why do you ask?)
posted by edgeways at 8:20 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Maybe post this to your own blog? Or 4Chan? They're more likely to heed your call. Because either this is a quote from another website missing its quote marks, or you are editorialising all to hell.
posted by Happy Dave at 8:20 AM on November 16, 2010

So the first link is to a silver promoter's website, yes? And we're supposed to run out and buy lots of silver to punish JPM for manipulating the silver market? By driving up the price of silver? On the exhortation of a silver promoter?

We have invented Pepsi Silver.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:20 AM on November 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

This post is the most ridiculous thing I've read all day.

1. $3 million is all it would take to destroy JP Morgan
2. Destroying JP Morgan is somehow a good idea for anyone
3. "Don’t be a SHEEP – WAKE UP"

Baaaaaaaa. Zzzzzzzz.
posted by Nelson at 8:21 AM on November 16, 2010

Seeing as how there are a bunch of actual investors with individually a lot more money (and silver, and mine stocks) than a bunch of internet geeks combined who are reading this news and calling their brokers to say "sell silver!" or "short silver too!"; I'm sure this will work really well.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 8:21 AM on November 16, 2010

1 user marked this as a favorite:
[citation needed] November 16, 2010 10:20 AM
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:21 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

It is telling that ZeroHedge's motto is a line from Fight Club. On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

I kinda think these folks may not have a serious grasp of the world economy. Any just maybe they didn't fully grasp the intended meaning of Fight Club or why the shock troops were called space monkeys.
posted by Babblesort at 8:22 AM on November 16, 2010

Silver, schmilver. If you want to bring down major financial institutions, frozen concentrated orange juice futures are the commodity of choice.
posted by delfin at 8:22 AM on November 16, 2010 [7 favorites]

Or you could just mail a check to J P Morgan.
posted by unSane at 8:23 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

This smells of someone trying to drive up the cost of silver so that the amount they hold will be worth more. That, or they are living in a dream world.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 8:23 AM on November 16, 2010

JP Morgan just bought a huge share of Ford stock. LET'S GO BURN DOWN ALL THE FORD DEALERSHIPS AND RUIN JP MORGAN.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:23 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

Kind of stinks of scam spam, yeah. A bit more sophisticated than most goldbuggery, tho - the appeal works on both rightwinger freemarketroids and leftwinger anticaptialists, and gets them to buy into a market that major banks have short positions in (as in it's gonna tank, and your investment will be wiped). Bravo.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:24 AM on November 16, 2010

There's a whole opera about not investing in silver.
posted by honeydew at 8:24 AM on November 16, 2010

One, and more importantly, is to create a worldwide awareness to this issue, and two, a massive discrediting of the FIAT Monetary System as a whole and the transfer of Individual Wealth into Physical Commodities – like Silver, Gold, Copper, Platinum and Palladium.

Oh yeah, it's the FIAT monetary system that's to blame. If only we used "real" money, like silver, gold, copper, platinum, and palladium. *cough, cough*
posted by outlandishmarxist at 8:24 AM on November 16, 2010

Shiny metal is always a wise investment, for whatever reason is convenient today.
posted by [citation needed] at 8:24 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Perhaps my math is wrong, but for roughly $3,000,000. anyone can destroy JP Morgan Chase? Why wouldn't anyone just do this? Oh, wait...are these old-timey dollars? Is this the 1870s? Carruthers! Harness my team to the landau!

*Puts more massacar in hair, lights cheroot, goes to corner sorghum market*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:25 AM on November 16, 2010

anyone who thinks he can fuck with not just one but two institutional investors this easily deserves to jump on this and lose all the dough he puts into it. also: you think they didn't hedge?

the only ones who would get hurt in a massive loss would be people like me, who have a chase account and an hsbc credit card.
posted by krautland at 8:26 AM on November 16, 2010

So, the part about financial institutions manipulating the silver market is interesting, but the way it's wrapped in timecube let's-take-down-the-man math is dubious at best.
posted by empyrean at 8:26 AM on November 16, 2010

Oh yeah, it's the FIAT monetary system that's to blame. If only we used "real" money, like silver, gold, copper, platinum, and palladium.

No, I think they mean stop using small Italian cars as a medium of exchange.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:28 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

I'm posting an a soon-to-be-deleted thread.
posted by SansPoint at 8:28 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

lol, they won't crash, the feds will just shovel a bunch of (your) money at them again.
posted by r_nebblesworthII at 8:29 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

I can see one flaw in this plan. If silver is $30 per oz. now, it's not going to stay that way if this grassroots movement succeeds in tampering with the silver market. The prices would get steadily higher as more silver is purchased. People may be less willing to "donate" to this cause if the price of silver gets too high.
posted by Pseudology at 8:29 AM on November 16, 2010

If only 100,000 people flag this post, it will crash JP Morgan.
posted by DU at 8:30 AM on November 16, 2010

See, this is why the teabaggers are awesome -- we get to look forward to a few years of this type of forwarded fun!
posted by aramaic at 8:30 AM on November 16, 2010

lol, they won't crash, the feds will just shovel a bunch of (your) money at them again.


I'm cool with that! Hopefully we'll get actual fixes this/next time then...
posted by StarmanDXE at 8:31 AM on November 16, 2010

Huh. I actually use silver in my hobby, I kinda hope it does crash back down to reasonable levels -- last time I replenished my stash, it was down around $6/oz, about 1998. A quick check of the charts shows it currently trading at $25/oz, with most of the gains (surprise surprise) since the end of the housing bubble. Yeah, silver will probably crash, no matter how much people try to prop it up.
posted by Blackanvil at 8:33 AM on November 16, 2010

Three million dollars is going to make JP Morgan Chase collapse?

It's a good thing this isn't true either, because wouldn't think twice about buying that much silver so they could take advantage of the resulting fire sale of their competitor's assets.

Well, seeing as I have only a Chase credit card (and no savings accounts or anything of the like), I'm in!

...

the only ones who would get hurt in a massive loss would be people like me, who have a chase account and an hsbc credit card

Just in case anyone wasn't paying attention when banks like WaMu and Countrywide were folding left and right during the peak of the crisis, when a bank goes under you don't lose your bank accounts and your debts aren't forgiven. The accounts generally get bought by another bank and for most customers there's not any more difference between that and the bank mergers and buyouts that happen relatively frequently.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:33 AM on November 16, 2010

Also, if everyone buys a copy of the game Pokémon Silver, then all the banks that are manipulating the Pokémon market will collapse.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

FOR SALE: Bridge (x1)

LOCATION: London, but will ship to the USA

ENQUIRIES TO: Duke Garius of London, authorised reseller of Her Majesty's bridges
posted by garius at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2010

Surely the plan is actually to use silver nitrate, right? Because they are vampires! And the only reliable way to deal with that is silver, sunlight, or beheading.

*learned finance from watching the Blade trilogy*
posted by quin at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2010

i am a heron. i haev a long neck and i pick fish out of the water w/ my beak. if you dont purchase 100,000 oz of silver i will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:34 AM on November 16, 2010 [6 favorites]

TERRY: Now, over the years I've developed a system of intensive short-term training...
... for situations just like this. It comes in two parts and has three rules. I call it "Quick Silver." Here's how it works. With your left hand you sell your silver to your clients and with your right hand you deflate the market. When he loses money, you buy back your imaginary shares at a steal.

DANIEL: But that's moral hazard! I'd be disqualified.

TERRY: He bought your silver. Not your fault, right?

DANIEL: Right.

TERRY: He can't continue. That means you win. You like that?

DANIEL: I like that.

TERRY: Remember, a man can't control the commodity, he can't control the market. Repeat it.

DANIEL: A man can't control the commodity, he can't control the market.

TERRY: With conviction, Mr. LaRusso!
posted by crapmatic at 8:37 AM on November 16, 2010

This is why Glenn Beck is telling people to buy gold!
posted by cjorgensen at 8:37 AM on November 16, 2010

If 100,000 oz. of silver are removed from the market, JP Morgan Chase will collapse.

You just pulled this figure out of your ass didn't you?

Wait, are you saying he has a donkey that shits silver?
posted by From Bklyn at 8:37 AM on November 16, 2010 [2 favorites]

It is telling that ZeroHedge's motto is a line from Fight Club. 'On a long enough timeline the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.'

On the other hand: "In the long run we are all dead." -- John Maynard Keynes, A Tract on Monetary Reform (1923).
posted by jedicus at 8:39 AM on November 16, 2010

Sort of like the Hunt Bros.
posted by AugustWest at 8:42 AM on November 16, 2010

For just $3 million we can destroy another bedrock financial institution?

That should fix the economy right up.
posted by timdicator at 8:44 AM on November 16, 2010

Reading over the Hunt brothers link, two things occurred to me:

1) If we could get the Koch brothers to follow the same scheme, it would be great!
2) If the end result was the election of another Ronald Reagan, it would be terrible!
posted by DU at 8:46 AM on November 16, 2010

If you kiss your own elbow, JP morgan will collapse.
posted by cirgue at 8:46 AM on November 16, 2010

If only we used "real" money, like silver, gold, copper, platinum, and palladium. *cough, cough*

I believe you mean Assets of Real Value, sir. After all, these things have inherent value. It's as if you're suggesting that the price is set by whatever the market is willing to pay for them. Outrageous!
posted by electroboy at 8:48 AM on November 16, 2010

If you kiss your own elbow, JP morgan will collapse.

Also, if your hand is bigger than your face you should invest in silver.
posted by electroboy at 8:50 AM on November 16, 2010

Flagged as bullshit.
posted by neroli at 8:50 AM on November 16, 2010

Because this will be deleted soon, you can all whisper the dark secrets of your soul into this thread, where they will fade away, carrying the burden of your guilt with them.

[grabs popcorn]
posted by mecran01 at 8:51 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94: If 100,000 oz. of silver are removed from the market, JP Morgan Chase will collapse.

You just pulled this figure out of your ass didn't you?

To be fair, I think this may be a mis-transcription of something said in the first YouTube video in the first link. The speaker claims (or, more precisely, relays someone else's claim) that 100 million (not thousand) ounces of silver would be sufficient to crash JP Morgan. At current prices, this amounts to around $2.5 billion, not million.
posted by mhum at 8:52 AM on November 16, 2010

you got the silver
posted by pyramid termite at 8:53 AM on November 16, 2010

1 user marked this as a favorite:
[citation needed] November 16, 2010 10:20 AM

I would like to favorite that favorite.
posted by A dead Quaker at 8:53 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Why is this thread going to be deleted? Yeah, it's a stupid idea, but if people are actually going out and buying silver because of this guy's YouTube video - well, that's fascinating.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:54 AM on November 16, 2010 [1 favorite]

Flagged as really bad math.
posted by Mister_A at 8:54 AM on November 16, 2010

hey, if we buy all the silver, the lone ranger will have to shoot blanks
posted by pyramid termite at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2010

Sail on, silver post.

Sail on by.
posted by Legomancer at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2010

I am on board with this, because there are werewolves in my neighborhood.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:00 AM on November 16, 2010 [5 favorites]