Season of the Witch
January 12, 2011 10:24 PM Subscribe
Why does Martha Stewart have a human skull in her kitchen?
It is a frosted acrostic from Julie Childs.
posted by clavdivs at 10:28 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 10:28 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
You should see what she keeps in her hope chest.
posted by nola at 10:29 PM on January 12, 2011 [13 favorites]
posted by nola at 10:29 PM on January 12, 2011 [13 favorites]
Snitches get stitches. Speaking of stitches, look at this lovely toaster cozy!
posted by entropicamericana at 10:30 PM on January 12, 2011 [22 favorites]
posted by entropicamericana at 10:30 PM on January 12, 2011 [22 favorites]
I think it would be creepier if she didn't even know it was there and it only shows up in photographs....
posted by sarastro at 10:32 PM on January 12, 2011 [37 favorites]
posted by sarastro at 10:32 PM on January 12, 2011 [37 favorites]
She hard.
posted by Kloryne at 10:32 PM on January 12, 2011 [19 favorites]
posted by Kloryne at 10:32 PM on January 12, 2011 [19 favorites]
They don't call her M. Diddy for nothing.
posted by Judith Butlerian Jihad at 10:33 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Judith Butlerian Jihad at 10:33 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's for Martha Stewart Unliving.
posted by Malor at 10:34 PM on January 12, 2011 [42 favorites]
posted by Malor at 10:34 PM on January 12, 2011 [42 favorites]
The reason you can't see evidence of this kind of thing with Oprah is the same reason why an alley cat in SoHo can't see all of London.
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:35 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
The former MR. Stewart?
posted by Cranberry at 10:36 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Cranberry at 10:36 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
I like the symbol of a skull on a scale. This calls to mind weighing your soul against a feather while simultaneously bringing to mind a Roman orgy. I may have to get one for my kitchen. I guess Martha really does improve decorating for everyone!
posted by poe at 10:36 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by poe at 10:36 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
You have to have something to drink out of after you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [67 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [67 favorites]
You put your weed in there?
posted by IvoShandor at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by IvoShandor at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
When I saw this post's title, I thought 'Oh dear, how the hell did Martha Stewart afford that piece of Damien Hirst "art"?' Oh that's right, insider trading"
posted by oonh at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by oonh at 10:37 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Momento Moris don't have to be old fashioned or handed down or even hard to do. 10 Simple steps to remind you and your family about the inevitability of death and the mortality of flesh for the holidays, after these messages.
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 PM on January 12, 2011 [70 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 10:38 PM on January 12, 2011 [70 favorites]
Sugar cannister.
posted by Ardiril at 10:39 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Ardiril at 10:39 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Never touch her cookie jar.
posted by gomichild at 10:40 PM on January 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by gomichild at 10:40 PM on January 12, 2011 [5 favorites]
Is she just blurry or has, ya know, someone gotten a card.
posted by clavdivs at 10:41 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by clavdivs at 10:41 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Years ago I remember hearing that there were writers who used to keep a human skull on their desks as sort of perspective jogger, a reminder of mortality and all that whole alas-poor-yorick stuff.
That skull had a tongue in it, and could taste these wonderful and great-looking appetizers that you can put together in 20 minutes from these simple household ingredients -- plus one secret!
posted by weston at 10:41 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
That skull had a tongue in it, and could taste these wonderful and great-looking appetizers that you can put together in 20 minutes from these simple household ingredients -- plus one secret!
posted by weston at 10:41 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh, I know! I know! It's to distract you from the pile of bodies on the other side of the kitchen.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:42 PM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:42 PM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
It's a cookbook!
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:46 PM on January 12, 2011 [19 favorites]
posted by Kadin2048 at 10:46 PM on January 12, 2011 [19 favorites]
A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a' poured a
flagon of Balsamico on my head once.
posted by jimmythefish at 10:48 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
flagon of Balsamico on my head once.
posted by jimmythefish at 10:48 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
I broke my custom ceramic one in 1991, is there any referances to augury or good luck in kooky internet lore, because I'm thinking 'Tomb of Horrors' - Lich; I have a portable hole and 3 Rods of Cancellation.
{2000 tillon to any wiazrd witha time stop gem}
posted by clavdivs at 10:49 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
{2000 tillon to any wiazrd witha time stop gem}
posted by clavdivs at 10:49 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
And from the size of it, it looks to be a child's skull.
Maybe Michael Jackson left it to her in his will.
posted by klangklangston at 10:49 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Maybe Michael Jackson left it to her in his will.
posted by klangklangston at 10:49 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
Heirloom pastry crimper.
posted by monster truck weekend at 10:50 PM on January 12, 2011 [15 favorites]
posted by monster truck weekend at 10:50 PM on January 12, 2011 [15 favorites]
'Season of the Witch III' was Gamed at Rand Corp. 1992
i soultna sa tha
posted by clavdivs at 10:56 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
i soultna sa tha
posted by clavdivs at 10:56 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh, but it'll make the most exquisite stock for a French onion soup.
posted by loquacious at 10:57 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by loquacious at 10:57 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
It's her Totem.
posted by helmutdog at 11:00 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by helmutdog at 11:00 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
That was her first Alexis
posted by knoyers at 11:01 PM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by knoyers at 11:01 PM on January 12, 2011 [4 favorites]
I had a phase for a bit some years back where I'd turn on the TV, someone who'd watched it before me would've left it on whatever channel Martha Stewart's show was on, and before the picture came up, I'd hear some contextless snippet like:
"...there's nothing worse than old, rancid nuts."
or, my favorite:
"...it's so REWARDING, but also so EXHAUSTING. For you AND the sheep."
I usually didn't stick around for context.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:01 PM on January 12, 2011 [48 favorites]
"...there's nothing worse than old, rancid nuts."
or, my favorite:
"...it's so REWARDING, but also so EXHAUSTING. For you AND the sheep."
I usually didn't stick around for context.
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 11:01 PM on January 12, 2011 [48 favorites]
It was the stock boy.
posted by benzenedream at 11:03 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by benzenedream at 11:03 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Oooooaaaa! That us creepy!
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:09 PM on January 12, 2011
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:09 PM on January 12, 2011
It's called memento mori, you buncha philistines! Get off my 400-year-old lawn!
posted by Sys Rq at 11:09 PM on January 12, 2011 [11 favorites]
posted by Sys Rq at 11:09 PM on January 12, 2011 [11 favorites]
if nothing is true, everything is permitted
(Martha Stewart)
posted by philip-random at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
(Martha Stewart)
posted by philip-random at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011 [7 favorites]
It's from that Tantric Yoga class she took back in the Sixties..,
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011
Because she is a badass, and secretly far, far cooler than you or I could ever even dream of being.
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 11:10 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
Eh, it's not real.
It's an imaginary skull?
posted by asterix at 11:11 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
It's an imaginary skull?
posted by asterix at 11:11 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
(Though, to be honest, I have a feeling it was a sly jab at the severity of that guest's makeup.)
posted by Sys Rq at 11:14 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Sys Rq at 11:14 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Wicked prop master.
posted by eegphalanges at 11:15 PM on January 12, 2011
posted by eegphalanges at 11:15 PM on January 12, 2011
Because she is a badass,
It's true. I once saw her punch right through the skull of a zombie and remove the entire brain and stem intact like she was pitting an olive. Then she showed the survival party how to safely prepare and cook a zombie brain with raw acorns to kill off the prions and hand-reload shotgun shells out of common garden supplies. Ironically turns out acorn-steeped wild lettuce wrapped zombie brains go fantastic with fire roasted brain mushrooms.
posted by loquacious at 11:19 PM on January 12, 2011 [11 favorites]
It's true. I once saw her punch right through the skull of a zombie and remove the entire brain and stem intact like she was pitting an olive. Then she showed the survival party how to safely prepare and cook a zombie brain with raw acorns to kill off the prions and hand-reload shotgun shells out of common garden supplies. Ironically turns out acorn-steeped wild lettuce wrapped zombie brains go fantastic with fire roasted brain mushrooms.
posted by loquacious at 11:19 PM on January 12, 2011 [11 favorites]
I bet she has another one in robin's egg blue. And one made of marzipan.
posted by emeiji at 11:22 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by emeiji at 11:22 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
There's nothing more ironic (and delicious!) than eating zombie brains.
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Pardon me.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:28 PM on January 12, 2011
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Zombie braaaaaaaaaains.
Pardon me.
posted by sebastienbailard at 11:28 PM on January 12, 2011
Why does Martha Stewart have a human skull in her kitchen?
Because it doesn't match the decor of her living room.
posted by pracowity at 11:28 PM on January 12, 2011 [39 favorites]
Because it doesn't match the decor of her living room.
posted by pracowity at 11:28 PM on January 12, 2011 [39 favorites]
Because she is a badass,
She employed her parents as servants in her grand manse. She gets Joan Crawford points with an Marcos Modifier.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
She employed her parents as servants in her grand manse. She gets Joan Crawford points with an Marcos Modifier.
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
"It's a ghoul thing."
posted by brundlefly at 11:31 PM on January 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 11:31 PM on January 12, 2011 [8 favorites]
Where else would you keep a skull?
posted by dirigibleman at 11:35 PM on January 12, 2011
posted by dirigibleman at 11:35 PM on January 12, 2011
Was part of the tote bag for her being in the audience at a Skull and Bones ritual?
She's part of a clandestine Masonic Lodge and its the skull of a past member she drinks Brandy from?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:40 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
She's part of a clandestine Masonic Lodge and its the skull of a past member she drinks Brandy from?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:40 PM on January 12, 2011 [2 favorites]
Ashlar: "next on Martha Stewart Living, redecorating your Chamber of Reflection for spring! "
posted by mrbill at 11:52 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mrbill at 11:52 PM on January 12, 2011 [1 favorite]
Why does Martha Stewart have a human skull in her kitchen?
To reach the other side?
posted by infinite intimation at 11:57 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
To reach the other side?
posted by infinite intimation at 11:57 PM on January 12, 2011 [3 favorites]
I fucking love you, Martha Stewart.
posted by elsietheeel at 11:59 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by elsietheeel at 11:59 PM on January 12, 2011 [6 favorites]
Why did Jim Morrison cross the road?
posted by philip-random at 12:01 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by philip-random at 12:01 AM on January 13, 2011
Because you need to use that melon baller for something.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:16 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:16 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
Memento mori are lovely decoration for the kitchen, the study, or even a child's playroom.
posted by clarknova at 12:24 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by clarknova at 12:24 AM on January 13, 2011
Martha [eyes darting almost imperceptibly toward skull] --
"My last intern diced the carrots after I clearly told him to julienne them. He's no longer with us."
posted by amyms at 12:24 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
"My last intern diced the carrots after I clearly told him to julienne them. He's no longer with us."
posted by amyms at 12:24 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
In the cutthroat world of Home Ec teachers, she just wants to keep ahead.
posted by pracowity at 12:33 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 12:33 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Ain't nuttin' wrong with a little head in the kitchen.
posted by Devonian at 12:51 AM on January 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Devonian at 12:51 AM on January 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
You have to have something to drink out of after you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women
Yeah, that doesn't work too well.
posted by Evilspork at 12:58 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
Yeah, that doesn't work too well.
posted by Evilspork at 12:58 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
Without doing a whole lot of research it might be a gift from designer Noah Scalin of SkullADay.com. She liked his book of skull decorations and had him on her show. They made skull crafts together and she gave him a skull shirt she made. She gave everyone in the audience a copy of the book.
So even if not a gift, she obviously appreciates the campy charm of skull decor.
posted by dgaicun at 1:46 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
So even if not a gift, she obviously appreciates the campy charm of skull decor.
posted by dgaicun at 1:46 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
because ... it's a GOOD thing
posted by pyramid termite at 1:48 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by pyramid termite at 1:48 AM on January 13, 2011
Capitalism with a human face?
posted by klue at 1:51 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by klue at 1:51 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Because there's no more space on her bedside table.
posted by pracowity at 1:55 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by pracowity at 1:55 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio Martha; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy; he hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is to see him on your kitchen counter!
posted by empatterson at 1:56 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by empatterson at 1:56 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Either that or it's the skull of the real Martha Stewart - (She actually died in prison so they replaced her with the Stepford version).
posted by empatterson at 1:59 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by empatterson at 1:59 AM on January 13, 2011
You have to have something to drink out of after you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women
So... Thirsty...
posted by slimepuppy at 2:49 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
So... Thirsty...
posted by slimepuppy at 2:49 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Leftovers?
posted by HuronBob at 3:28 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 3:28 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Either that or it's the skull of the real Martha Stewart
I made on of her recipes backward and my oven said 'MARTHA IS DEAD'.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:29 AM on January 13, 2011 [12 favorites]
I made on of her recipes backward and my oven said 'MARTHA IS DEAD'.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:29 AM on January 13, 2011 [12 favorites]
Because the goat skull would clash with the drapes.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:13 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:13 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Liliane Bettencourt, the 3rd richest woman in the world, has a golden dildo on her desk (NSFW unless you're a 86-year old L'Oréal heiress). She could easily smash Martha Stewart's skull with it.
posted by elgilito at 4:27 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by elgilito at 4:27 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Either that or it's the skull of the real Martha Stewart - (She actually died in prison so they replaced her with the Stepford version).
How would you tell the difference?
posted by arcticseal at 4:51 AM on January 13, 2011
How would you tell the difference?
posted by arcticseal at 4:51 AM on January 13, 2011
Years ago I remember hearing that there were writers who used to keep a human skull on their desks as sort of perspective jogger...
I understand joggers are an excellent source of skulls.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:52 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
I understand joggers are an excellent source of skulls.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:52 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
She bought shares in a publically traded skull company.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:54 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:54 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Got in her way.
posted by synecdoche at 5:10 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by synecdoche at 5:10 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Pimento Mori.
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:14 AM on January 13, 2011 [16 favorites]
posted by jenkinsEar at 5:14 AM on January 13, 2011 [16 favorites]
Martha Stewart is BIG into Halloween decorations. It's probably left over from her set decoration from then.
posted by crunchland at 5:14 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by crunchland at 5:14 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Frank likes the view.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:15 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:15 AM on January 13, 2011
Must be that she made soup of one of her little helpers who perhaps failed to warm her bath and lighten up her fire while she was being chauffeured through the New England hills in her SUV, tapping along on her guilded IPad, heading home; cozy, tended, well-designed home. Open the door, everything cold and dark, little helper playing computer games in some dimly lit tower room. Oh the fury. The rest is history.
posted by Namlit at 5:15 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by Namlit at 5:15 AM on January 13, 2011
What, there are people who don't have skulls in their kitchens? Weird.
posted by sandraregina at 5:18 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by sandraregina at 5:18 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
The really creepy thing for me is that it weighs exactly one pound, just a pound, not more, or less than just a pound, not so much to make it light, or heavy, in the substance or division of the twentieth part of one poor scruple, nay, the scale hath not turned but the estimation of a hair!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:20 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:20 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
You'll notice, she keeps the skull on desplay to her right, further signifying her power. Random anthropological observation thanks to watching too many episodes of bones.
Also, where is the rest of the body?
Also also, maybe its like the Seifeld/Superman thing and we need to go back through all her other episodes to catch on to her dreary game.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:29 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Also, where is the rest of the body?
Also also, maybe its like the Seifeld/Superman thing and we need to go back through all her other episodes to catch on to her dreary game.
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:29 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Sitting at my desk in the office, I look around and see 1..2...3 skulls. Hmmm. Maybe I should rename this room the skullery.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:34 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:34 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
The question is why don't you have one in yours?
posted by oddman at 5:38 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by oddman at 5:38 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
When I look over my shoulder in our recently re-designed office space, I disbelievingly see a leather-bound Albert Schweizer Joh. Seb. Bach, fifth edition (1922). Now that's a creepy fact. Gimme some skulls.
[Maybe hers is a salt shaker or something, filled up to exactly one pound]
posted by Namlit at 5:42 AM on January 13, 2011
[Maybe hers is a salt shaker or something, filled up to exactly one pound]
posted by Namlit at 5:42 AM on January 13, 2011
Martha Stewart Shiving.
posted by BZArcher at 5:46 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by BZArcher at 5:46 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
There's actually a rational explanation for this, that I think was alluded to in Stewart's unauthorized biography, From The Maw Of The Abyss. I have a copy on hand. Here's the relevant passage:
Stewart had been running too long and too far to back down now, though. It had taken her months to secure contacts from Phnom Penh to Vientiane, and shipments were finally starting to come up the Mekong after spending the summer laying low from Interpol. Just as she didn't back down from the Ukrainian mob when she was trafficking raw opium from Turkey and into Europe, she wasn't going to back down from Vietnam's most fearsome heroin traders. When the body of mob boss Quang Cam was found, hanging upside down in an abandoned warehouse and trussed like a deer, authorities noted that the body was missing its head, which was never recovered. As always when it came to Stewart's activities, no witnesses could be found anywhere near the scene, and it is suspected that money changed hands during the course of the investigation. The case was never solved.posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:49 AM on January 13, 2011 [6 favorites]
Sometimes a skull is just a skull.
posted by Splunge at 5:58 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Splunge at 5:58 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I wondered what happened to Chairman Kaga.
posted by sidesh0w at 6:00 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by sidesh0w at 6:00 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
For a minute, I wondered if I was watching a Halloween-themed rerun. To be sure, I backed it up and watched the whole hour.
Mission accomplished.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:05 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Mission accomplished.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:05 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
"I'd like to cut your head off, so I can weigh it, whadda ya say?"
posted by bondcliff at 6:06 AM on January 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by bondcliff at 6:06 AM on January 13, 2011 [5 favorites]
That's rather a tender subject. Another slice, anyone?
posted by dirtdirt at 6:23 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by dirtdirt at 6:23 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
BRAINS! nom nom nom......(au jus of course and garnish)
posted by lampshade at 6:29 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by lampshade at 6:29 AM on January 13, 2011
That's rather a tender subject. Another slice, anyone?
Meatloaf again?
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:39 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
Meatloaf again?
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:39 AM on January 13, 2011 [7 favorites]
We're all going to be so disappointed when it turns out it's made of marzipan.
posted by elizardbits at 6:50 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by elizardbits at 6:50 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I have two skulls in the kitchen. They're bookends for my various brain and bones molds. There's also a doll, some stuffies hanging from baker's racks, and cooking accoutrements from various eras...some of which appear to be dual purpose...apple peeler and torture device. Oh kitchen, you're my second favorite room.
True story; back in the black eyeliner years, I would do things like go to the goth clubs with baskets full of spooky cupcakes (because...eat something, you're too thin), the DJ nicknamed me Fairy Gothmother - Martha Stewart of the Damned, and would announce me thusly when I arrived. A mantle I wore proudly, I can tell you. To this day, a decade or so since I've crossed the threshold of club spooky, I still have people come up to me at local events and call me Martha. If only I had been as actually motivated as the real Martha...
posted by dejah420 at 7:05 AM on January 13, 2011 [6 favorites]
True story; back in the black eyeliner years, I would do things like go to the goth clubs with baskets full of spooky cupcakes (because...eat something, you're too thin), the DJ nicknamed me Fairy Gothmother - Martha Stewart of the Damned, and would announce me thusly when I arrived. A mantle I wore proudly, I can tell you. To this day, a decade or so since I've crossed the threshold of club spooky, I still have people come up to me at local events and call me Martha. If only I had been as actually motivated as the real Martha...
posted by dejah420 at 7:05 AM on January 13, 2011 [6 favorites]
Because it doesn't match the decor of her living room.
DO NOT GO IN THERE.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:22 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
DO NOT GO IN THERE.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:22 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
She's got electric boots!
A mohair suit!
You know I read it in a magazine!
posted by Goofyy at 7:47 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
A mohair suit!
You know I read it in a magazine!
posted by Goofyy at 7:47 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
She uses it as the base for a fun, seasonal Meat Head!
posted by tizzie at 7:47 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by tizzie at 7:47 AM on January 13, 2011
I have a heart of a child. Its sitting in a jar on my desk.
--Stephen King
posted by shakespeherian at 7:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
--Stephen King
posted by shakespeherian at 7:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
It may, of course, simply have escaped from the scullery.
posted by Namlit at 8:07 AM on January 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Namlit at 8:07 AM on January 13, 2011 [4 favorites]
got it from MASTER CHIEF after playing with his joystick in legendary mode :)
posted by liza at 8:12 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by liza at 8:12 AM on January 13, 2011
Maybe Remy teamed up with her and it went wrong.
Yeah, that's not really an adult sized skull, is it? Poor kid. I can see how she would perceive him as a threat.
posted by philip-random at 8:15 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, that's not really an adult sized skull, is it? Poor kid. I can see how she would perceive him as a threat.
posted by philip-random at 8:15 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I can see how she would perceive him as a threat.
went after her eggs.
posted by The Whelk at 8:19 AM on January 13, 2011
went after her eggs.
posted by The Whelk at 8:19 AM on January 13, 2011
This is what happens when "LEGGO MY EGGO" turns deadly.
posted by zarq at 8:20 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by zarq at 8:20 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
dgaicun I would venture that affinity for skull decor, tchotchkes, sandwiches, etc. is a little different than liking actual skulls.
posted by radioamy at 8:24 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by radioamy at 8:24 AM on January 13, 2011
I dunno, it came with the place.
posted by sambosambo at 8:33 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by sambosambo at 8:33 AM on January 13, 2011
"...there's nothing worse than old, rancid nuts."
Speaking of nuts...
posted by inigo2 at 8:45 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Speaking of nuts...
posted by inigo2 at 8:45 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
So maybe I can accept that this might be memento mori, but even then, isn't it completely incongruous for a kitchen on the set of a cooking show? And what's it doing on a scale, isn't that unusual even for a memento mori? Presumably set designers would have agonized over the placement of everything behind Martha - why did they go for the grinning skull of all things? Why would her audience of mostly older, conservative housewives need to be reminded of the inevitability of death and the inescapable futility of material life - on a cooking show episode about kitchen design? I probably wouldn't bat an eye if I saw a memento mori skull in a collector's home alongside expensive pieces of medieval art, but this context and placement is bizarre!
posted by naju at 8:55 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by naju at 8:55 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
That's the last motherfucker who turned on the blender without putting the lid on first.
posted by elder18 at 9:16 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by elder18 at 9:16 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Iron Chef surprise ingredient.
posted by rouftop at 9:43 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by rouftop at 9:43 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Whoa! Okay, I just searched the cable listings and found that Martha Stewart Living will be on in a few minutes. I have got to see this for myself.
(Up side of working from home: spontaneously watching an episode of Martha Stewart's TV show because Metafilter told you to. Down side of working from home: spontaneously watching an episode of Martha Stewart's TV show because Metafilter told you to.)
posted by ErikaB at 9:59 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
(Up side of working from home: spontaneously watching an episode of Martha Stewart's TV show because Metafilter told you to. Down side of working from home: spontaneously watching an episode of Martha Stewart's TV show because Metafilter told you to.)
posted by ErikaB at 9:59 AM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Am I the only one who finds it funny that the writer spends his entire first paragraph defensively explaining that he only came across the show because he was surfing randomly, then says that he "backed it up and watched the whole hour" just to figure out if it was a Halloween special? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
Note: by "the lady" I mean this guy and by "protest" I mean "watch Martha Stewart". All the time.
posted by brundlefly at 10:09 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Note: by "the lady" I mean this guy and by "protest" I mean "watch Martha Stewart". All the time.
posted by brundlefly at 10:09 AM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
You have to have something to drink out of after you crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women
SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
posted by ymgve at 10:13 AM on January 13, 2011
SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
posted by ymgve at 10:13 AM on January 13, 2011
Much sadness. The scale is there, but the skull is not. The episode I just saw must have been filmed either today or yesterday.
(Martha told the story of how she ended up having to get stitches in her face. She mentioned that she would be posting pics of the hospital visit on her blog. Her most recent blog post is dated 1/12 and titled "My hospital experience will be posted shortly.")
My guess is that the linked blogger either saw an older episode, or a clip from a different kitchen. It could be the kitchen in her home, or some other kitchen on the set.
I assume Martha has many kitchens. You'd want to look for the one that smells like roasted pork.
posted by ErikaB at 10:15 AM on January 13, 2011
(Martha told the story of how she ended up having to get stitches in her face. She mentioned that she would be posting pics of the hospital visit on her blog. Her most recent blog post is dated 1/12 and titled "My hospital experience will be posted shortly.")
My guess is that the linked blogger either saw an older episode, or a clip from a different kitchen. It could be the kitchen in her home, or some other kitchen on the set.
I assume Martha has many kitchens. You'd want to look for the one that smells like roasted pork.
posted by ErikaB at 10:15 AM on January 13, 2011
Too shiny to be a real skull. Could be something like one of these.
posted by SpaceBass at 10:17 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by SpaceBass at 10:17 AM on January 13, 2011
I have a heart of a child. Its sitting in a jar on my desk.
--Stephen King
Not to be terribly pedantic (okay, yes, totally to be terribly pedantic), but Robert Bloch, actually.
posted by byanyothername at 10:38 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
--Stephen King
Not to be terribly pedantic (okay, yes, totally to be terribly pedantic), but Robert Bloch, actually.
posted by byanyothername at 10:38 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
The reason we can't answer the question: "Why is there a human skull in her kitchen?" is that it's the wrong question.
Given what Martha Stewart is, the questions are: "Why aren't there more of them?" and "Why didn't they show up sooner?".
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Given what Martha Stewart is, the questions are: "Why aren't there more of them?" and "Why didn't they show up sooner?".
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Apparently King actually said it, but he borrowed it from Bloch. I therefore award myself full compensation, by way of technicality.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:48 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Entertainment Weekly has the answer. "The show was a rerun from October, and the skull was pre-Halloween decor."
posted by ErikaB at 11:00 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by ErikaB at 11:00 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Dammit! Mystery solved. Though I think it's great that this post got picked up by Gawker and EW and necessitated an official statement from Martha's representatives.
posted by naju at 11:20 AM on January 13, 2011
posted by naju at 11:20 AM on January 13, 2011
Dammit! Mystery solved lamely covered by a terrified Stewart lickspittle.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:36 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:36 AM on January 13, 2011 [2 favorites]
Nothing solved. Still there.
☠
Signed: miniature skull
posted by Namlit at 1:23 PM on January 13, 2011
☠
Signed: miniature skull
posted by Namlit at 1:23 PM on January 13, 2011
SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
Sure they do; just turn them upside down. (See kapala.)
posted by Soliloquy at 1:23 PM on January 13, 2011
Sure they do; just turn them upside down. (See kapala.)
posted by Soliloquy at 1:23 PM on January 13, 2011
I'd like to think she pooped it out after an evening of cannibalistic gorging.
posted by Mcable at 1:34 PM on January 13, 2011
posted by Mcable at 1:34 PM on January 13, 2011
My family found a skull in the fireplace in the kitchen of the house we had just moved into. It was super creepy. We called the previous owners and they picked it up along with a bunch of other things they had left behind. We never got a satisfactory explanation.
It was not plastic.
posted by charmcityblues at 1:41 PM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
It was not plastic.
posted by charmcityblues at 1:41 PM on January 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Why does Martha Stewart have a human skull in her kitchen?
As a strap-on cozy?
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:55 PM on January 13, 2011
As a strap-on cozy?
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:55 PM on January 13, 2011
then says that he "backed it up and watched the whole hour" just to figure out if it was a Halloween special? The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
One of the cooler Tivo features is that you can turn on Closed Captions and then the first level of fast forward, and read all the dialogue of an hour long show in about 15 minutes, if you're a fast enough reader.
posted by nomisxid at 2:18 PM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
One of the cooler Tivo features is that you can turn on Closed Captions and then the first level of fast forward, and read all the dialogue of an hour long show in about 15 minutes, if you're a fast enough reader.
posted by nomisxid at 2:18 PM on January 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
Soliloquy: "Sure they do; just turn them upside down. (See kapala.)"
Yup, they are the real deal. Byron wrote a poem about his and everything.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:46 PM on January 13, 2011
Yup, they are the real deal. Byron wrote a poem about his and everything.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:46 PM on January 13, 2011
ymgve: "SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!"
Let's try this again…
SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
The linked page isn't NSFW, but the rest of the site is.
posted by yaymukund at 5:55 AM on January 14, 2011
Let's try this again…
SKULLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY!
The linked page isn't NSFW, but the rest of the site is.
posted by yaymukund at 5:55 AM on January 14, 2011
Clearly you all have not seen the episode where Amy Sedaris shows up and makes fun of her to her face.
Hey, anybody notice that she hasn't been appearing in anything for the past year? COINCIDENCE?
posted by kittyprecious at 8:30 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Hey, anybody notice that she hasn't been appearing in anything for the past year? COINCIDENCE?
posted by kittyprecious at 8:30 AM on January 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
MetaFilter is terrible for rumormongering.
posted by kittyprecious at 11:02 AM on January 14, 2011
posted by kittyprecious at 11:02 AM on January 14, 2011
Well, it is a book that makes fun of Martha Stewart-types, so you may be on to something.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:31 AM on January 14, 2011
posted by Sys Rq at 11:31 AM on January 14, 2011
It must be a Swedish joke, i realized yesterday. Translate "for the sake of taste" and you get
"För smakens skull."
What we see in Martha's kitchen is smakens skull.
posted by Namlit at 12:20 AM on January 15, 2011
"För smakens skull."
What we see in Martha's kitchen is smakens skull.
posted by Namlit at 12:20 AM on January 15, 2011
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posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis at 10:26 PM on January 12, 2011 [20 favorites]