Lycoperdons, the tiny deadly puffballs, are on the march again
December 15, 2020 2:08 PM   Subscribe

An AI riffs on 2020. Janelle Shane (previously; Twitter) fed GPT-3 headlines from this annus horribilis to see what kind of 2020ish titles it would generate.

Midway through 2020, people started suggesting that I train a neural net on 2020 headlines, and I was skeptical that there would be enough weird ones to make a decent project. Then 2020 continued to be 2020.
posted by doctornemo (24 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
Apparently There is No Good Photo of the “Melbourne Spider”

It's the scare quotes that trouble me.

Scientists say climate change deniers should sit on a beach until it is underwater

Scientists who read this may start saying that.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:25 PM on December 15, 2020 [7 favorites]


Apparently, I am a scientist.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:45 PM on December 15, 2020 [2 favorites]


Scientists Take Photos In See-Through Scuba Gear, and This Is What They Got
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:56 PM on December 15, 2020


Yep. I'm definitely a scientist.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:00 PM on December 15, 2020 [10 favorites]


I read the title, went "ehh, figures" then on click through realised it was AI generated.

While some of these are kind of fantastical, others seem pretty spot on.
posted by freethefeet at 3:09 PM on December 15, 2020 [2 favorites]


Good news / Bad news about crows in Burlington schools

I would click on this headline so very, very fast.
posted by emjaybee at 3:14 PM on December 15, 2020 [10 favorites]


Though it's from the list of the more mundane headlines, I think my favorite of the entire lot is the pithy: "Scientists do science… … and then write about it!"

It has a subtle kind of humor that really appeals to me over the outlandish (though 2020-believable) News of the Weird style from the other lists. I would totally love to see this on a letterpress poster or something.
posted by majick at 3:22 PM on December 15, 2020 [5 favorites]


Scientists discover the alien ant farm under the Antarctic ice.

Likely the puffball-zamboni consortium.
posted by clavdivs at 3:34 PM on December 15, 2020


the puffball-zamboni consortium.

Eh, it’s a livin’.
posted by zamboni at 3:38 PM on December 15, 2020 [8 favorites]


> From deep in the Earth, darkness “boils” to the surface

> Reports of a '10-foot tall penguin’ roaming about on the Family Islands in the Solomon Islands are investigated

> Scientists discover the alien ant farm under the Antarctic ice

I am forced into speech because men of science have refused to follow my advice without knowing why. It is altogether against my will that I tell my reasons for opposing this contemplated invasion of the antarctic—with its vast fossil-hunt and its wholesale boring and melting of the ancient ice-cap—and I am the more reluctant because my warning may be in vain. Doubt of the real facts, as I must reveal them, is inevitable; yet if I suppressed what will seem extravagant and incredible there would be nothing left. The hitherto withheld photographs, both ordinary and aërial, will count in my favour; for they are damnably vivid and graphic. Still, they will be doubted because of the great lengths to which clever fakery can be carried.
posted by glonous keming at 3:42 PM on December 15, 2020 [14 favorites]


Lycoperdons, the tiny deadly puffballs, are on the march again

Is a Genesis reunion happening?

2020 isn't over, yet.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 3:53 PM on December 15, 2020 [2 favorites]


It’s true! I found a colony of Lycoperdon perlatum in a neighbor’s mulch a few weeks ago.

They were tasty with pasta and olive oil.
posted by jon1270 at 4:28 PM on December 15, 2020 [1 favorite]


A sassy tardigrade previews new Doctor Who

I know roughly as much about Doctor Who as Kate Beaton does (but I do know a fair bit about sassy tardigrades) and I want to watch this so bad.
posted by Lonnrot at 4:39 PM on December 15, 2020 [5 favorites]


I just looked up Lycoperdon and I feel like the Wikipedia entry is AI generated:

The scientific name has been created with Greek words (lycos meaning wolf and perdon meaning to break wind) and based on several European dialects in which the mushroom name sounds like wolf-farts.

Most species are edible, ranging from mild to tasting distinctly of shrimp.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 4:43 PM on December 15, 2020 [4 favorites]


Massive radioactive sinkhole continues to grow in Russia

....I....I think this one is actually real.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:43 PM on December 15, 2020 [4 favorites]


>Wikipedia ... AI

Heh! 'perdon' is Italian for 'pardon', Spanish for 'sorry'. Looks like 'wolf's-apology' then!
posted by Twang at 5:51 PM on December 15, 2020 [1 favorite]


Breitbart could hire this AI to write all its headlines and no one would be able to tell the difference.
posted by mundo at 6:10 PM on December 15, 2020 [4 favorites]


Scorpions on the dark side of the moon
The pan-European prog metal concept album that nobody wanted.
posted by panama joe at 8:16 PM on December 15, 2020 [6 favorites]


Meanwhile, in the Lycoperdon timeline, we're reading this and going "Pandemic kills HOW many? This little AI toy is pretty f'ing dark, man."

...also it's a maaaagical Lycoperdon, Charlie!
posted by The otter lady at 11:15 PM on December 15, 2020 [3 favorites]


>> A sassy tardigrade previews new Doctor Who
> I want to watch this so bad.
It's a passable plot description of episode 4 of Star Trek: Discovery.
posted by Syllepsis at 11:44 PM on December 15, 2020 [3 favorites]


I'm mostly curious about what it was that suggests the 'Killer Raccoons of the Pacific Northwest’ are responsible for this kill.
posted by ChuraChura at 4:55 AM on December 16, 2020


Overturned trash bins in the vicinity of the crime scene.
posted by saturday_morning at 5:42 AM on December 16, 2020 [2 favorites]


I have never seen any Star Trek, but I am definitely looking up that episode when I get a chance, it sounds like a lot of fun. Thanks, Syllepsis!
posted by Lonnrot at 9:48 AM on December 16, 2020


Hey, Curiosity Rover, Don’t Go Chasing Shadow Bugs

Don't go chasing shadow bugs
Please stick to the craters and the plains that you're used to...
posted by pykrete jungle at 12:41 AM on December 17, 2020 [4 favorites]


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