One Fish, Two Fish, Sun Fish, Moon Fish

October 23, 2022 1:11 PM

Not Just a Big Fish, but Perhaps the Biggest Bony Fish Ever [NYT; ungated]

This 6,000-Pound Sunfish Is the Largest Bony Fish on Record [Smithsonian]
A giant sunfish weighing more than 6,000 lbs is the heaviest bony fish ever found, researchers say [CBS]

Also known as "Mola Mola," the Portuguese call this species Peixe Lua, which translates to "Moon Fish"

Maior peixe-lua conhecido no Mundo encontrado no Faial [RTP]
Peixe-lua com quase 3 toneladas encontrado morto junto a porto da Horta [Açoriano Oriental]

posted by chavenet (24 comments total)

Gorgeous and awe-inspiring.

I happened across one of these on the beach after a huge storm when I lived on the east coast. Its eye - a single eye - was larger than a dinner plate; its skin was rough and there was no give in the flesh -- pure muscle. It makes me happy that the ocean is still a mostly unexplored world of ancient, behemothic beings.
posted by Silvery Fish at 1:41 PM on October 23, 2022 [4 favorites]

I mean, not ever...
posted by kickingtheground at 2:15 PM on October 23, 2022 [2 favorites]

Classic rant "Why I Hate the Sunfish":

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to fucking go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. …

posted by pmdboi at 2:23 PM on October 23, 2022 [17 favorites]

I Wish We Didn’t Know About The Heaviest Bony Fish Ever Found (slDefector)
posted by Ghidorah at 2:49 PM on October 23, 2022 [6 favorites]

Classic rant "Why I Hate the Sunfish":

So they're pandas of the sea?
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 2:53 PM on October 23, 2022 [2 favorites]

Can confirm that a sunfish swimming purposefully and with all its might near the surface looks entirely haphazard. They'll flop left, then right, then frantically try to right themselves with their frondy stubby butt.

One must imagine the sunfish happy. It's certainly been doing this for millions of years, and hasn't got small doing so.
posted by scruss at 3:03 PM on October 23, 2022 [5 favorites]

And heahz what happened when one of these lahge fish got too close to Boston

TW: swearing Masshole
posted by armoir from antproof case at 3:08 PM on October 23, 2022 [10 favorites]

I once got to watch a mola while I was SCUBA diving in Carmel, CA. It was a rare day with exceedingly clear water (which also meant exceedingly cold). Honestly, it really didn't look all that ungainly from the angle I watched it from. I saw it just as an extreme example of a plankter, floating along with all of the other macro and micro inhabitants of the epipelagic zone (sea surface).

For comparison, consider pyrozomes, cylindrical or cone-shaped colonies of tunicates up to 18 m (60 ft) long. (I've seen these in Carmel too but the ones I saw weren't more than about a foot or two in length.) Entirely at the mercy of ocean currents to move about. Quite beautiful, if a little disconcerting, the first time you see one.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 4:19 PM on October 23, 2022 [1 favorite]

That classic rant is at best misleading. Rebuttal from a zoologist here. Another more passionate defense of sunfish from a marine biologist here.
posted by Mitheral at 4:54 PM on October 23, 2022 [7 favorites]

I spent an afternoon at the Monterey Aquarium sitting and watching the Sunfish. It was an alien and magnificent experience.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:06 PM on October 23, 2022 [3 favorites]

The Monterey Aquarium sunfish is shy and elusive. If you want to see it plan to spend some time. It’s worth the wait.

I saw one on open waters once, basking and/or being cleaned by birds. They are absolute units.
posted by sjswitzer at 5:40 PM on October 23, 2022 [4 favorites]

I think sunfish are the best fish. They're just so goofy, they defy all expectations, and they're utterly fascinating to watch. The world would be a better place if the Discovery Channel had a "sunfish week" instead of "shark week".
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:43 PM on October 23, 2022 [2 favorites]

Sunfishnado doesn't have the same ring.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:15 PM on October 23, 2022 [4 favorites]

My mistress’ eyes are nothing like the sunfish’s
posted by armoir from antproof case at 8:11 PM on October 23, 2022 [9 favorites]

From the linked Smithsonian article:
"But though they can be quite curious, sunfish are largely harmless."
um.. largely?
posted by Stonestock Relentless at 8:16 PM on October 23, 2022 [1 favorite]

kickingtheground > I mean, not ever...

Dave (1993) — I once caught a fish this big!
posted by cenoxo at 9:08 PM on October 23, 2022 [1 favorite]

So they're pandas of the sea?

They're the rulers of the Queen's navy.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:10 PM on October 23, 2022 [3 favorites]

Came for recipe for peixe lua à brás; was disappointed. Or not so much: sunfish contain tetrodotoxin, the sodium channel blocker neurotoxin also present in their cousins [same order Tetraodontiformes] Fugu Takifugu rubripes.
posted by BobTheScientist at 1:13 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]

Sunfishnado doesn't have the same ring.

Mola Molar Vortex
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:04 AM on October 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

When the shark bites … Oceanic sunfish (Mola mola) with big shark bite swimming away., Nature Footage. Ouch (but it keeps on swimming).

More about them at WP.
posted by cenoxo at 5:17 AM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

One of my weird-kid obsessions, around about fifth grade, was the ocean sunfish. (I even wanted to name a pup Mola-mola, although I was overruled.) It was just so big, so otherwise. Although I didn't realize it, its faceless face had a lot in common with the cryptids that I thought a lot about at the time: the Hopkinsville Goblins, the Flatwoods Monster. But the ocean sunfish didn't mean any harm; it didn't mean anything. Like the ocean itself, it is bizarre, unknowable, and totally peaceful to contemplate.
posted by Countess Elena at 5:44 AM on October 24, 2022 [4 favorites]

Yeah. Sometimes you meet the aliens and instead of monsters that drip acid blood and want to devour your innards, they're just ocean sunfish bobbing around catching some rays.

I always think of Kate Beaton's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea whenever I see ocean sunfish.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 6:55 AM on October 24, 2022 [2 favorites]

And heahz what happened when one of these lahge fish got too close to Boston

Oh, my Gawd, Jay, what is that thing? Is it a baby wheel, a baby whale, a tuna, a flounda, oh, my Gawd, Jay, we gotta call the Aquarium!
posted by adamg at 7:04 PM on October 24, 2022 [1 favorite]

Oh, man, these things are so weird. I had never even HEARD of it until Animal Crossing, and then last year we saw one from the deck of a ship while whale watching. It's so strange to see a big flat fish the size of a car float by.
posted by bowtiesarecool at 5:07 AM on October 25, 2022