Excuse me, I ordered this Fixie medium rare, and this is obviously well-done. I'd like to send it back.
February 8, 2011 6:04 PM   Subscribe

 
This reminds me of a Lucius Shepard and Robert Frazier story, "The All-Consuming." I can't link to the text for you, but it was reprinted in Gardner Dozois's The Year's Best Science Fiction of 1990.

Spoiler: the character who eats everything is done in when he attempts to eat the organisms of a mutant Amazonian rainforest.
posted by bad grammar at 6:13 PM on February 8, 2011


So the previous thread would be "food porn"?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:13 PM on February 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


A man who has eaten an aircraft cockpit

hi-res panorama pics or it didn't happen
posted by cortex at 6:16 PM on February 8, 2011 [12 favorites]


He's no Maxwell Klinger, that's for sure.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 6:20 PM on February 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


All right. Have you ever...taken a train and eaten it piece by piece *after* you just derailed it with your penis?

Yes.

It was for charity!! It was for charity.

/Mr. Show
posted by gagglezoomer at 6:21 PM on February 8, 2011 [6 favorites]


hi-res panorama pics endoscopy!
posted by edguardo at 6:21 PM on February 8, 2011


Shit is so metal
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 6:32 PM on February 8, 2011 [4 favorites]


He was in the Guinness World Records book for years. I personally watched him eat a bicycle in Caracas in the seventies.

Right after I left MacUser magazine, around 1986, I called the head of Apple's New York office, and tried to get him into the idea of hiring Lotito to do a special event: a huge ad in the New York Times, with the headline "A Man Eats His Apple". I thought Apple should have him eat a frikkin Mac Plus, in front of a live audience, in Times Square or something. Ned thought I was nuts, making up the whole story of this guy existing.

I still think it would have made for an amazing ad campaign.
posted by dbiedny at 6:34 PM on February 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


That's some screwy shit. You are what you eat, and that guy is nuts.

I guess his mother told him not to bolt his food, so he started fooding his bolts instead.
posted by flabdablet at 6:45 PM on February 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Damn. Now I'm all hungry for an Anglican cathedral.
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 7:12 PM on February 8, 2011 [7 favorites]


cortex: "hi-res panorama pics or it didn't happen"

Michel Lotito is going to eat Keith Olberman live on Current TV.
posted by idiopath at 7:19 PM on February 8, 2011


I find it disgusting that his pica is being encouraged instead of treated.
posted by brenton at 7:31 PM on February 8, 2011


He died in 2007 of natural causes.
posted by Sreiny at 7:36 PM on February 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Also, I feel a need for a link to the mefi post about Tarrare, which is orders of magnitude more revolting and unbelievable.
posted by brenton at 7:52 PM on February 8, 2011 [3 favorites]


Oh my God! This Michel Lotito guy was mind boggling. ack. And bananas gave him indigestion, whoda thunk?
posted by nickyskye at 7:55 PM on February 8, 2011


How does one eat a live cat, exactly?
posted by mrnutty


As always, the answer most likely involves gaffers tape.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:01 PM on February 8, 2011 [2 favorites]


Hulk Hungry!!
posted by dry white toast at 8:01 PM on February 8, 2011


He died in 2007 of natural causes.

"Monsieur Mangetout was being medevaced by helicopter when ...
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:02 PM on February 8, 2011


I wonder what those "natural causes" were that killed him...
posted by 1000monkeys at 8:02 PM on February 8, 2011


Yeah, but can he eat his own head?
posted by loquacious at 8:27 PM on February 8, 2011


This guy has Pica.

I couldn't even watch this. As soon as he took his first bite of light bulb, it was Xed.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 8:34 PM on February 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


Ooo I get to do a Previously!

I'm new. Thanks.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 8:45 PM on February 8, 2011


XhaustedProphet: the article for Pica that you linked cites this guy as a notable example of someone with the disorder.
posted by idiopath at 8:49 PM on February 8, 2011


Oh, wow. I took Biology of Science Fiction at Kenyon in 2006 and I can tell you that it was absolutely, without a doubt, the most bizarre class I've ever taken. The subject matter should have been intrinsically interesting, but Professor Slonczewski had, well, let's call it an eccentric side. She's a genuinely nice (and extremely intelligent) person, but that class frequently took a turn for the weird.

One time, she brought in a large live tortoise as a visual aid - except that she never actually acknowledged its presence in the lecture hall and was content to just let it roam around in front of the podium. When someone finally asked her about the animal, she just said "Ah yes - that's a tortoise. It's a wonderful example of evolution," and left it at that. She also loved to introduce questionable facts into her lectures, my favorite of which is that "the cabin of an airplane is the driest place on Earth - that's why the flight attendants force you to drink so much water."

On the other hand, I got an A and there was pretty interesting material, so I really can't complain too much. Still, seeing that class on MetaFilter is quite a shock.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:21 PM on February 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


But can he eat a Miracle Machine?
posted by benzenedream at 10:50 PM on February 8, 2011 [1 favorite]


For Gagglezoomer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYvHpVwIqYY
posted by Old Man Wilson at 11:11 PM on February 8, 2011


"the cabin of an airplane is the driest place on Earth - that's why the flight attendants force you to drink so much water."

An acquaintance of mine is a stewardess flight attendant, and that's what Air Emirates told her during training.
posted by clarknova at 12:55 AM on February 9, 2011


Jesus Christ, brenton, that was both fascinating and horrifying. Now, where the bleach to clean that from my mind?
posted by mosk at 1:12 AM on February 9, 2011


This guy was always the highlight of the guinness book of world records when I was a kid.
posted by milestogo at 2:02 AM on February 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


I will never be free until I eat the last king strangled with the entrails of the last priest!
posted by Twang at 4:56 AM on February 9, 2011 [2 favorites]


Yeah, but they didn't include the audio of him screaming in agony from the bathroom the day after his delicious meal of sharp metal and glass.
posted by idiomatika at 6:15 AM on February 9, 2011 [1 favorite]


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