Baby Bleeding from 3 Orifices
March 15, 2011 9:18 AM Subscribe
Police reports are more than just the facts. Ellen Collett, who left entertainment to work for the LAPD, knows one officer by his words alone.
The plain style of is surprisingly evocative.
The plain style of is surprisingly evocative.
Printable all-on-one-page version of the article, for those who prefer not to do the click-through-five-pages-so-we-can-get-the-ad-views thing.
posted by Thorzdad at 9:28 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 9:28 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
. “The Suspect snatched the Victim’s chain and fled” is a sentence without speculation. To know the manner in which the snatching or fleeing transpired would be interpretive.
"Flee" isn't interpretive? How about "ran north"?
posted by DU at 9:30 AM on March 15, 2011
"Flee" isn't interpretive? How about "ran north"?
posted by DU at 9:30 AM on March 15, 2011
So how can I identify Martinez from a single sentence?
Easy!
“On 4-6-10 at approx. 1922 hours, my partner Ofcr. Brown (badge #13312) and I (Ofcr. Martinez badge #14231) were in full uniform traveling westbound on Gage Avenue when we received the radio call of an LUAC in progress at 82nd St./Central Ave.”
posted by chavenet at 9:31 AM on March 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Easy!
“On 4-6-10 at approx. 1922 hours, my partner Ofcr. Brown (badge #13312) and I (Ofcr. Martinez badge #14231) were in full uniform traveling westbound on Gage Avenue when we received the radio call of an LUAC in progress at 82nd St./Central Ave.”
posted by chavenet at 9:31 AM on March 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
Her website. Her IMDB isn't as complete as it could be, fwiw.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:33 AM on March 15, 2011
posted by Ideefixe at 9:33 AM on March 15, 2011
It'd be nice if there were examples of complete reports by "Martinez" or at least a link to where one could read them. As of reading the article I'm not convinced that he's a talented writer, only that he consistently breaks the report guidelines.
posted by theodolite at 9:36 AM on March 15, 2011
posted by theodolite at 9:36 AM on March 15, 2011
Keep this story in mind the next time someone asks how a simple recitation of the facts (from a police officer, a journalist or anyone) could be biased, loaded or present a skewed picture.
posted by DU at 9:36 AM on March 15, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by DU at 9:36 AM on March 15, 2011 [5 favorites]
Never talk to the police at any time.
posted by pianomover at 10:04 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by pianomover at 10:04 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
All that training on report writing must have been lost on the officer who described my client's penis as "placid."
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:07 AM on March 15, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:07 AM on March 15, 2011 [6 favorites]
"Precision, not firepower, is the goal; you don’t use a semiautomatic at close range when you’re packing a Smith & Wesson."
This kind of metaphor for cop writing makes me distrust the author's authority. I mean, it's a good thing Smith & Wesson doesn't make semiautomatic weapons, for one thing. For another, I'm not even sure what that means, except that the author and editor don't know much about firearms.
The author also makes statements about "admissibility" and how the "story it tells should persuade 12 people in a jury box of something."
Neither of those things are relevant in police report writing because police reports are generally not admissible (hearsay) in California, and because, for the most part, the jury will not see the report. The basic purpose of the police report is to refresh the police officer's memory so that he can independently testify concerning the things he witnessed. The police officer is not permitted to read the report aloud to the jury.
The author says that she "reads and codes hundreds" of reports "each day." That describes a clerical worker who does nothing but data entry.
That said, I agree with the main premise that some cops are better writers than others, but in their case "better" means "able to write a report that better brings to mind the things they saw" without introducing confusion, inconsistency, bias, or outright falsehoods that will be exposed with a good cross.
posted by Hylas at 10:12 AM on March 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
This kind of metaphor for cop writing makes me distrust the author's authority. I mean, it's a good thing Smith & Wesson doesn't make semiautomatic weapons, for one thing. For another, I'm not even sure what that means, except that the author and editor don't know much about firearms.
The author also makes statements about "admissibility" and how the "story it tells should persuade 12 people in a jury box of something."
Neither of those things are relevant in police report writing because police reports are generally not admissible (hearsay) in California, and because, for the most part, the jury will not see the report. The basic purpose of the police report is to refresh the police officer's memory so that he can independently testify concerning the things he witnessed. The police officer is not permitted to read the report aloud to the jury.
The author says that she "reads and codes hundreds" of reports "each day." That describes a clerical worker who does nothing but data entry.
That said, I agree with the main premise that some cops are better writers than others, but in their case "better" means "able to write a report that better brings to mind the things they saw" without introducing confusion, inconsistency, bias, or outright falsehoods that will be exposed with a good cross.
posted by Hylas at 10:12 AM on March 15, 2011 [3 favorites]
I've seen a police report about me. They are not facts... fact-ish, sure... but not facts.
posted by Debaser626 at 10:18 AM on March 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Debaser626 at 10:18 AM on March 15, 2011 [1 favorite]
All that training on report writing must have been lost on the officer who described my client's penis as "placid."
Either that or they were really trying the convey the concrete sense of tranquility they felt from your client's phallus. Maybe the next line was, "Suspect's penis, despite the commotion at the scene, remained unruffled."
posted by Panjandrum at 10:29 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Either that or they were really trying the convey the concrete sense of tranquility they felt from your client's phallus. Maybe the next line was, "Suspect's penis, despite the commotion at the scene, remained unruffled."
posted by Panjandrum at 10:29 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Since my circumcision, I haven't been able to ruffle my penis.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:32 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:32 AM on March 15, 2011 [2 favorites]
Have you tried a tomato shark?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:06 AM on March 15, 2011
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:06 AM on March 15, 2011
"pianomover refused to cooperate."
posted by localroger at 1:32 PM on March 15, 2011
posted by localroger at 1:32 PM on March 15, 2011
My dad was a cop for a few years, he HATED writing reports. I remember him bitching about it and walking around the house narrating our actions as if he was writing it.
When I read this article, though, I couldn't help but notice how padded it seems to be.
posted by disclaimer at 4:40 PM on March 15, 2011
When I read this article, though, I couldn't help but notice how padded it seems to be.
posted by disclaimer at 4:40 PM on March 15, 2011
And while pondering police reports, let's not forget police blotters. Some are more interesting than others.
8:31 p.m. A man lying on the ground near a K Street stairwell slowly basted in an odious marinade of urine and vomit. An officer found him responsive but uncooperative, and took the poor basted to the hospital.
posted by leftcoastbob at 10:46 AM on March 16, 2011
8:31 p.m. A man lying on the ground near a K Street stairwell slowly basted in an odious marinade of urine and vomit. An officer found him responsive but uncooperative, and took the poor basted to the hospital.
posted by leftcoastbob at 10:46 AM on March 16, 2011
« Older A Lie of the Mind | That High, Lonsome sound Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:28 AM on March 15, 2011