Pain is the curse of consciousness.

July 14, 2011 1:17 AM

Bio Apocalypse (PDF) is a 94 page graphic novel full of body horror, nightmare fuel, and heavy handed symbolism. It tells the story of an Akira-like organism that grows and devours the Earth. Drawn on notepaper with lots of red crayons and purportedly written by a Something Awful Goon when he was in 6th grade, Bio Apocalypse has gathered a small cult following and his inspired a partial video reading.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn (22 comments total)

How old is 6th grade? Because this is actually quite good.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:05 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Although I did just get to the part where Africa has turned into a giant butt.

Nice.
posted by Happy Dave at 2:16 AM on July 14, 2011

Nobody let Michael Bay see this.
posted by Ritchie at 2:24 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Although I did just get to the part where Africa has turned into a giant butt.

Nice Offensive.

FTFY
posted by howfar at 3:07 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

And nobody jump on me for being a humourless git unless they've actually read that part of the comic. I was certainly this disgusting as an 11 year old, but I don't recall being this reactionary (read the end!). Still, if by any chance the provenance is real, this is an impressive technical accomplishment.
posted by howfar at 3:14 AM on July 14, 2011

howfar: "Although I did just get to the part where Africa has turned into a giant butt.

Nice Offensive.

FTFY"

Well, yeah. If the image wasn't bad enough, the copy on that page is pretty nasty, even for an 11 year old.

But hey, I wrote an awful 100 page scifi novel when I was 14 where Scotland had colonised Mars, so I'm pretty inclined to forgive the follies of youth.
posted by Happy Dave at 3:21 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

an awful 100 page scifi novel when I was 14 where Scotland had colonised Mars

Fool! You could've sold that idea to 2000AD and be a respected comic book author at this very moment.
posted by howfar at 3:27 AM on July 14, 2011 [5 favorites]

howfar: "an awful 100 page scifi novel when I was 14 where Scotland had colonised Mars

Fool! You could've sold that idea to 2000AD and be a respected comic book author at this very moment."

Trust me, the world does not need the tale of Space Commander McNeil and the battle for Mons Olympus to exist in any accessible way.
posted by Happy Dave at 3:32 AM on July 14, 2011

God, Olympus Mons even. It's been a while.
posted by Happy Dave at 3:33 AM on July 14, 2011

Yeah, I don't believe a kid wrote this, sorry. The writing itself is way too sophisticated. It was a fun read till the whole Africa thing, whereupon the X was clicked.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:48 AM on July 14, 2011

Yeah, not buying this. It has far too much sly awareness of Something Awful's collective sense of humor to be a legitimate artifact.
posted by Scattercat at 4:28 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

Too bad about the Africa thing, it was pretty entertaining otherwise.
posted by marxchivist at 4:37 AM on July 14, 2011

Someone linked this to me last week, it's rather excellent as outsider art and as a graphic novel.

Personally, I'd like to see this redrawn by Jean Giraud. That would be amazing.
posted by hellojed at 5:10 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

"Splatch" is now my favorite onomatopoeia
posted by de void at 6:52 AM on July 14, 2011

(Near where I grew up, there is a bar called S.P.L.A.C.H., and it always reminded me of that onomatopoeic sentiment.)
posted by resurrexit at 7:02 AM on July 14, 2011

The people who don't believe a kid made this - I have to wonder if they've ever seen a high school metalhead's notebook.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:01 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

Or I mean it could very possibly be fake and all but I can think of at least three kids at my high school, back in the day, who could have drawn this if working together.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 8:07 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

"the world does not need the tale of Space Commander McNeil and the battle for Mons Olympus to exist in any accessible way."

It would if there was a video of you reading it in a Scottish accent, if indeed that's your heritage. I'd do it, but my Scottish accent sounds fake.
posted by sneebler at 8:11 AM on July 14, 2011

Yeah, I'm voting real on this one, because you could easily sub in any of my ridiculous high-school works and have it be just as plausible.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:28 AM on July 14, 2011 [1 favorite]

I call bullshit on the calling bullshit -- in 6th grade, I was creating a comic book series about a planet run by arthropods that was at least as complicated, badly drawn, and casually racist as this.
posted by rusty at 11:45 AM on July 14, 2011 [2 favorites]

When I was that age I wrote bad emo poetry and drew pages of spaceship battles and elaborate guns. My little brother does similar, only with a million times more skill. So it's possible it's real.

I want to see it redone by James Skokie.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 2:16 PM on July 14, 2011

This kid, or adult depending on your choice to believe in it's creation myth/truth :), has definitely seen Neon Genesis. Also you missed one of the best twists in teen scifi graphic novels if you quit reading after the Africa bit.

Perhaps the author has also played Xenosaga. You got religion in my science, no you got science in my religion.
posted by darkfred at 10:16 AM on July 15, 2011