Crackpot Sunday Brunch: Would You Like a Canadian Club to Go With That Bloody Mary, Sir?
September 30, 2001 3:08 AM Subscribe
Crackpot Sunday Brunch: Would You Like a Canadian Club to Go With That Bloody Mary, Sir? No, not from The Onion. Much better. A real-life, in-all-sincerity, 100% Canadian solution to all the U.S.'s current problems. (More inside)
But think of the massive re-education program that would require. Maybe it would be better to soften them up with air drops of KD first.
posted by pracowity at 3:49 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by pracowity at 3:49 AM on September 30, 2001
(stifled guffaws)
But as the guy says, pracowity, "With the United States and all the political baggage it has accumulated over the past thirty years out of the way, Iraq, Iran and Libya and the like would soon settle down and become good citizens. Guns and bombs just don't have the same impressive punch they had in the past."
So no KD air drops!
(Even though, quite canadianly, I must confess I don't actually know what KD is.)
But, hey, as long as it's mild, right?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:07 AM on September 30, 2001
But as the guy says, pracowity, "With the United States and all the political baggage it has accumulated over the past thirty years out of the way, Iraq, Iran and Libya and the like would soon settle down and become good citizens. Guns and bombs just don't have the same impressive punch they had in the past."
So no KD air drops!
(Even though, quite canadianly, I must confess I don't actually know what KD is.)
But, hey, as long as it's mild, right?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:07 AM on September 30, 2001
Well, fromage-factor me dead!
European Canadian-lovers alert, for all "Fast Show" fans: this must be some domestic version of the classic cheesy peas.
By the way, pracowity - do not ####### note this flagrant BTW - your site is precious. You should turn it into a book.
P.S.
Since it's very early morning over there: aren't Kraft dinners something to do with Afghan rugs? Please do not click on this very tasteless Kraft link as I don't want to get into trouble with MeFi again...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:55 AM on September 30, 2001
European Canadian-lovers alert, for all "Fast Show" fans: this must be some domestic version of the classic cheesy peas.
By the way, pracowity - do not ####### note this flagrant BTW - your site is precious. You should turn it into a book.
P.S.
Since it's very early morning over there: aren't Kraft dinners something to do with Afghan rugs? Please do not click on this very tasteless Kraft link as I don't want to get into trouble with MeFi again...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 4:55 AM on September 30, 2001
Canadian World Domination Now.
Kraft Dinner may be odd, but it's one of the major food groups. You can even get it in Australia now, which makes that continent one of the select few that a number of my KD-dependant friends are clear to visit.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:17 AM on September 30, 2001
Kraft Dinner may be odd, but it's one of the major food groups. You can even get it in Australia now, which makes that continent one of the select few that a number of my KD-dependant friends are clear to visit.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:17 AM on September 30, 2001
Evidently it has to be a peaceful conquest because Canada isn't capable of war.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 5:18 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by Steven Den Beste at 5:18 AM on September 30, 2001
Hey Chris, stavros. I just knew you'd hijack this thread. But bienvenue, welcome: how specific can you be? Make it now!
But, them again: Canada? Australia even? Will the Commonwealth never be disbanded?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:22 AM on September 30, 2001
But, them again: Canada? Australia even? Will the Commonwealth never be disbanded?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:22 AM on September 30, 2001
But Canada is capable of peace. Which is more than America can manage.
Not really keen to turn this into a pissing match....you're actually right Stephen, as far as it goes, but I couldn't resist.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:23 AM on September 30, 2001
Not really keen to turn this into a pissing match....you're actually right Stephen, as far as it goes, but I couldn't resist.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:23 AM on September 30, 2001
As for you, Steven, isn't it a bit cruel to remind people that many Canadians are wondering whether their country's cash-starved military could field enough troops and equipment to fight?
Say it outright, man: does any living soul give a slice?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:26 AM on September 30, 2001
Say it outright, man: does any living soul give a slice?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 5:26 AM on September 30, 2001
Hey Miguel. Welcome back.
Stephen : I spent a few hours this week, serendipitously enough, talking about this very thing with my two Canadian co-workers here in Korea.
Canada has a long and honourable tradition of assisting in conflicts when it was needed - in war and in 'peacekeeping'. This will presumably continue.
Sites like the one both Miguel and I linked two are jokes that arise out the collective inferiority complex Canadians feel as they glance over their shoulder at big brother next door, in my opinion at least (and my speaking for the country will probably be vocally resented later in this thread).
Even if America were not the 'sole remaining superpower' and the engine of global culture (culture debased to the level of Will Smith movies, suburban whiteboy psuedo-gangsta rap, Macdonald's hamburgers and vast seas of porn as it may be), it would still be a country with ten times the population and economic strength, an enormous and fraught-with-portent cloud on the horizon.
The very thought, though, of Canada at military odds with America is risible, of course. Perhaps equally as amusing is the thought that Canada would ever need to defend itself against invasion or direct military attack, or against the kind of shattering terrorist attack that happened recently in America. No one cares (or hates) enough, happily, and it's from this tension between feeling both superior to and inferior to America that things like 'Canadian World Domination' arise.
I reckon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:41 AM on September 30, 2001
Stephen : I spent a few hours this week, serendipitously enough, talking about this very thing with my two Canadian co-workers here in Korea.
Canada has a long and honourable tradition of assisting in conflicts when it was needed - in war and in 'peacekeeping'. This will presumably continue.
Sites like the one both Miguel and I linked two are jokes that arise out the collective inferiority complex Canadians feel as they glance over their shoulder at big brother next door, in my opinion at least (and my speaking for the country will probably be vocally resented later in this thread).
Even if America were not the 'sole remaining superpower' and the engine of global culture (culture debased to the level of Will Smith movies, suburban whiteboy psuedo-gangsta rap, Macdonald's hamburgers and vast seas of porn as it may be), it would still be a country with ten times the population and economic strength, an enormous and fraught-with-portent cloud on the horizon.
The very thought, though, of Canada at military odds with America is risible, of course. Perhaps equally as amusing is the thought that Canada would ever need to defend itself against invasion or direct military attack, or against the kind of shattering terrorist attack that happened recently in America. No one cares (or hates) enough, happily, and it's from this tension between feeling both superior to and inferior to America that things like 'Canadian World Domination' arise.
I reckon.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:41 AM on September 30, 2001
The Kraft Dinner Worship Webring. This is serious stuff, here. Cheesy too.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:55 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 5:55 AM on September 30, 2001
Calling matthowie and the MeFi police! Re: Chris's just-released rink. Surely a Tripod Member Page is, in all respects, beyond the pale? It may well be that macaroni and cheese, to your average Ottawan, is indeed "a good source of protein", but are we ready for the Kraft Dinner Worship Webring that stavrosthewonderchicken, safe in Korea, so nonchalantly proposes?
Not to mention the idea that Canada is a better country than any other, simply because it isn't able to actually become one, in any internationally acceptable sense.
It simply isn't done.
(Enter Trevor and Philip, to much farting all round).
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:06 AM on September 30, 2001
Not to mention the idea that Canada is a better country than any other, simply because it isn't able to actually become one, in any internationally acceptable sense.
It simply isn't done.
(Enter Trevor and Philip, to much farting all round).
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:06 AM on September 30, 2001
Terence and Philip, my shoulder-parrot says.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:09 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:09 AM on September 30, 2001
Hey! All links are fair game, except self-links... if I had a page that looked that crap, you think I'd self-link it?
Oh deary me, no.
And what is "Not to mention the idea that Canada is a better country than any other, simply because it isn't able to actually become one, in any internationally acceptable sense" supposed to mean? Them's fightin' words!
*rolls up sleeves, pours another beer*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:13 AM on September 30, 2001
Oh deary me, no.
And what is "Not to mention the idea that Canada is a better country than any other, simply because it isn't able to actually become one, in any internationally acceptable sense" supposed to mean? Them's fightin' words!
*rolls up sleeves, pours another beer*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:13 AM on September 30, 2001
I agree with the Canadian guy about the look of your money!!!
I had to double check the notes before I paid for anything and does that make you look like "scrooge".
The money might be pretty colours in Canada, but the money here in Australia is pretty AND made of plastic and I don't mean credit cards, just pretty plastic money thats worth practically nothing
posted by Tarrama at 6:19 AM on September 30, 2001
I had to double check the notes before I paid for anything and does that make you look like "scrooge".
The money might be pretty colours in Canada, but the money here in Australia is pretty AND made of plastic and I don't mean credit cards, just pretty plastic money thats worth practically nothing
posted by Tarrama at 6:19 AM on September 30, 2001
But, if we capitulate to the Frostbacks, do we do it in English, French, or a combination of the two?
posted by MAYORBOB at 6:21 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by MAYORBOB at 6:21 AM on September 30, 2001
A deep, wordless bow might be appropriate.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:23 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:23 AM on September 30, 2001
*tucks chin into shirt collar, throws caution to the winds*
I actually like Canada... Only been there twice, to Nova Scotia both times, where my parents lived for ten years, and the people, the scallops, the chowders and the lobsters are, well, an example to all of us humans, crustaceans and soups. The hospitals aren't bad either.
But I still feel it's more an idea for improving another country - to make it nicer - rather than a country in itself. Canada is more of an extra, a feature, a desirable accessory.
And much as I hate, stavrosthewonderchicken, may no one else ever walk in your wake, to hark back to my initial link but this excerpt, I think, says it all:
"Loved by everyone from Albania to Zimbabwe. Think of it. In a few years you might even be able to visit Nicaragua and Panama again!"
Oh the glee!
(Typically Canadian not to mention Cuba, with all its mojitos, daiquiris and Cohibas Robustos, nó?)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:31 AM on September 30, 2001
I actually like Canada... Only been there twice, to Nova Scotia both times, where my parents lived for ten years, and the people, the scallops, the chowders and the lobsters are, well, an example to all of us humans, crustaceans and soups. The hospitals aren't bad either.
But I still feel it's more an idea for improving another country - to make it nicer - rather than a country in itself. Canada is more of an extra, a feature, a desirable accessory.
And much as I hate, stavrosthewonderchicken, may no one else ever walk in your wake, to hark back to my initial link but this excerpt, I think, says it all:
"Loved by everyone from Albania to Zimbabwe. Think of it. In a few years you might even be able to visit Nicaragua and Panama again!"
Oh the glee!
(Typically Canadian not to mention Cuba, with all its mojitos, daiquiris and Cohibas Robustos, nó?)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:31 AM on September 30, 2001
Fair enough, Miguel. I love my homeland, warts and all, but it bores the living crap out of me, to be honest, and that's in large part why I haven't actually lived there for more than a decade.
I hope to die there, though. Someday.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:35 AM on September 30, 2001
I hope to die there, though. Someday.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:35 AM on September 30, 2001
OK, Chris. I've penciled you in for 2082, Halifax Naval Cemetery. There's a lot of space so you can put it off and procrastinate for another 10-20 years it things don't work out as badly as you think.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:41 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by MiguelCardoso at 6:41 AM on September 30, 2001
Bloddy Marys? In my experience, Canucks like to drink Ceasers - Bloody Marys plus Clam Juice. Yuck.
posted by skwm at 7:01 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by skwm at 7:01 AM on September 30, 2001
Tarrama: as an Australian you should just sit back and giggle. Apart from superficialities I've never heard anything but praise, praise, praise about your country. So don't gloat. Just stay put. And whatever do you mean about your currency?
("Australia is Canada if Everything, including The Climate, Politicians, Food, Sex and Beer Had Worked Out". Discuss)
And, alrighty, MAJORBOB: I give in in the name of all us poor European immigrants - what is "frostbacks" please? It sounds chill-factor insulting. Is same as Mexican wetbacks, but slightly more miserable? Please to explain.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:02 AM on September 30, 2001
("Australia is Canada if Everything, including The Climate, Politicians, Food, Sex and Beer Had Worked Out". Discuss)
And, alrighty, MAJORBOB: I give in in the name of all us poor European immigrants - what is "frostbacks" please? It sounds chill-factor insulting. Is same as Mexican wetbacks, but slightly more miserable? Please to explain.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:02 AM on September 30, 2001
Actually,skwm, it's scallop spume or, at a pinch, lobster ear wax. Yuck indeed. (Clamato is forbidden in Canada because of the Gershwin-be-damned and downright-wrong U.S. pronunciation)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:09 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:09 AM on September 30, 2001
i've lurked long enough. if kd makes us canadian so be it because frankly (being typically canadian) we can't decide who we are. trust me... i've got the MA in canadian studies to prove it.
posted by stewie at 7:23 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 7:23 AM on September 30, 2001
Well, this is turning into our own little private discussion thread, Miguel, while the North Americans sleep, but I've got to jump in here...I spent the last 3 years or so living in Australia, and although you're correct about the climactic thing, the other measures you suggest skirt awfully close to a content-free troll. Australia's a marvellous country in a lot of ways, as is Canada.
Which beer is better? German! No, English! Whatever.... a more important question might be the ways that the two nations have treated and continue to treat their indigenous peoples, or their immigration policies.
As far as the politics go, despite the fact that Jean Chretien is way more amusing than John Howard on any given day, in Canada there are idiots like Stockwell Day, in Australia, scum like Pauline Hanson, and the same goes for the scoundrels at the other end of the political spectrum, although to my knowledge Canada has no politicos with as much street cred as Midnight Oil's frontman, Peter Garrett.
stewie : You seriously believe that we can't decide who we are?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:27 AM on September 30, 2001
Which beer is better? German! No, English! Whatever.... a more important question might be the ways that the two nations have treated and continue to treat their indigenous peoples, or their immigration policies.
As far as the politics go, despite the fact that Jean Chretien is way more amusing than John Howard on any given day, in Canada there are idiots like Stockwell Day, in Australia, scum like Pauline Hanson, and the same goes for the scoundrels at the other end of the political spectrum, although to my knowledge Canada has no politicos with as much street cred as Midnight Oil's frontman, Peter Garrett.
stewie : You seriously believe that we can't decide who we are?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:27 AM on September 30, 2001
Is Canada more than KD? This should be its own thread.
posted by stewie at 7:34 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 7:34 AM on September 30, 2001
There are no scum in Canada - this is true. Though walking round the MicMac Mall in Halifax I didn't notice any indigenous culture either. Though the people who decimated them were not Canadian.
But banish Midnight Oil, stavrosthewonderchicken! And answer me this:
Why is it that the most important singer-songwriters, apart from Dylan, Buckley and Waits, are all Canadian?
Leonard Cohen is the greatest, bar none.
Joni Mitchell, ditto.
Neil Young, constantly.
Stereolab, undoubtedly.
All eternals. And there are many more.
Why?
(Though the Aussies do have the excellent, Cohen-worshipping Nick Cave...)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:38 AM on September 30, 2001
But banish Midnight Oil, stavrosthewonderchicken! And answer me this:
Why is it that the most important singer-songwriters, apart from Dylan, Buckley and Waits, are all Canadian?
Leonard Cohen is the greatest, bar none.
Joni Mitchell, ditto.
Neil Young, constantly.
Stereolab, undoubtedly.
All eternals. And there are many more.
Why?
(Though the Aussies do have the excellent, Cohen-worshipping Nick Cave...)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:38 AM on September 30, 2001
Who did what to whom when wha?
I mean, "Yo, who did what to whom when wha?"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:38 AM on September 30, 2001
I mean, "Yo, who did what to whom when wha?"
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:38 AM on September 30, 2001
Miguel : Nick Cave is god. I'm listening to "No More Shall We Part" as we 'speak'.
Synchronicity.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:40 AM on September 30, 2001
Synchronicity.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:40 AM on September 30, 2001
What sugarfish said.
My mother is English and fought through the war and she maintains - although she disliked living in Canada in the 80's - that the Canadians were the bravest, cleanest, most honest and enthusiastic of all the allied forces.
P.S. Australians came second and Yanks third. All with flying marks. But the Canadians, consistently, come first. This is by no means an exceptional opinion.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:45 AM on September 30, 2001
My mother is English and fought through the war and she maintains - although she disliked living in Canada in the 80's - that the Canadians were the bravest, cleanest, most honest and enthusiastic of all the allied forces.
P.S. Australians came second and Yanks third. All with flying marks. But the Canadians, consistently, come first. This is by no means an exceptional opinion.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:45 AM on September 30, 2001
Exactly, Chris: why would we believe in an interventionist God?
(Sorry to others for the private reference)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:48 AM on September 30, 2001
(Sorry to others for the private reference)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:48 AM on September 30, 2001
Problem is, Miguel, that if you check her userprofile, it would appear that she's American. Since she's presumably talking at the moment to a couple of Canucks (me and stewie) and a Portugal-person (us being the monopolizers of the thread right now), I'm not sure what she's saying, exactly.
Don't believe in the existence of angels, either :-)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:50 AM on September 30, 2001
Don't believe in the existence of angels, either :-)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 7:50 AM on September 30, 2001
All your Canada are belong to Us. I'm technically breaking a mefi rule (no self links) but my department hasn't officially uploaded this work to the university page. my bad. flame me.
posted by stewie at 7:59 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 7:59 AM on September 30, 2001
Hey stewie, thank you. Also for "Anne of Green Gables". Let any single human being unaffected by said book cast the first tangerine.
Although, if you check my 04h55m link, you'll find that
"Where Are Warm Up America! Afghans Being Sent?"
runs a close second to "All your Canada are belong to Us".
P.S.
I didn't mean it about Ottawa. Best of Canadian cities - even Montreal-born Leonard Cohen agrees.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:08 AM on September 30, 2001
Although, if you check my 04h55m link, you'll find that
"Where Are Warm Up America! Afghans Being Sent?"
runs a close second to "All your Canada are belong to Us".
P.S.
I didn't mean it about Ottawa. Best of Canadian cities - even Montreal-born Leonard Cohen agrees.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:08 AM on September 30, 2001
Hey Chris, remember I'm only a poor newbie. I never check user profiles; would much prefer people used their own names and think the antiquity or recentness of members but a snobbish reflex.
Of course this will change when Metafilter reaches six figures and I can gloat over my five. But, until then, I'm a democrat.
Pending.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:15 AM on September 30, 2001
Of course this will change when Metafilter reaches six figures and I can gloat over my five. But, until then, I'm a democrat.
Pending.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:15 AM on September 30, 2001
I think the appropriate Nick Cave line for this thread is "under 15 feet of pure white snow..."
And clam juice is good. Really.
posted by transient at 8:17 AM on September 30, 2001
And clam juice is good. Really.
posted by transient at 8:17 AM on September 30, 2001
I like Canada, too. I think it would make a great 51st state.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 8:19 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by Steven Den Beste at 8:19 AM on September 30, 2001
Miguel,
Frostback was a term that I heard applied to Canadians in upstate New York over 20 years ago. I don't believe it is offensive, just that those that dwell in the Great White North grow a layer of frost from the chilly weather. At any rate, I have been informed by a few Canadian friends that the term Canuck is much more offensive.
Frankly, if I had my choice of country to surrender to it would be Australia. They know how to party hearty.
posted by MAYORBOB at 8:24 AM on September 30, 2001
Frostback was a term that I heard applied to Canadians in upstate New York over 20 years ago. I don't believe it is offensive, just that those that dwell in the Great White North grow a layer of frost from the chilly weather. At any rate, I have been informed by a few Canadian friends that the term Canuck is much more offensive.
Frankly, if I had my choice of country to surrender to it would be Australia. They know how to party hearty.
posted by MAYORBOB at 8:24 AM on September 30, 2001
I think the US would make a really great 11th province.
posted by stewie at 8:26 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 8:26 AM on September 30, 2001
Canuck offensive? Is saying Yankee offensive? I mean we have the Vancouver Canucks hockey team... I think we're more offended when people say, "Canada and the US... what's the difference? they're the same"... That will bring out the ire in most Canadians.
posted by stewie at 8:36 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 8:36 AM on September 30, 2001
Frankly, if I had my choice of country to surrender to it would be Australia
(MAYORBOB)
This is a really good sort of "Desert Island Discs"(c.f. BBC Radio 4)question.
If our country had to be vanquished and we could choose the nation we handed it over to, which would it be?
To whom would you surrender if all else faile?
I'd have to say Ireland, Italy or Israel. Or Denmark. Or even the U.S.
The thing is, though, you can only choose one country.
So here goes(please be brave enough to follow through):
I would choose(not for all the right reasons, but definitely):
Canada!
(Honestly)
(We could always make like Quebec if things didn't go according to our fancy).
What about you?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:00 AM on September 30, 2001
(MAYORBOB)
This is a really good sort of "Desert Island Discs"(c.f. BBC Radio 4)question.
If our country had to be vanquished and we could choose the nation we handed it over to, which would it be?
To whom would you surrender if all else faile?
I'd have to say Ireland, Italy or Israel. Or Denmark. Or even the U.S.
The thing is, though, you can only choose one country.
So here goes(please be brave enough to follow through):
I would choose(not for all the right reasons, but definitely):
Canada!
(Honestly)
(We could always make like Quebec if things didn't go according to our fancy).
What about you?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:00 AM on September 30, 2001
I've already gone on record for Australia. That would be in the real world. John Howard would be a hard pill to swallow but, as I say, the Aussies are a nation of natural born party animals, they have great beaches, and their beer (Victoria Bitter) is better than any American brew I've ever tasted.
Now, if it were a fictional world, I could probably go with the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
posted by MAYORBOB at 9:13 AM on September 30, 2001
Now, if it were a fictional world, I could probably go with the Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
posted by MAYORBOB at 9:13 AM on September 30, 2001
Oh, it's a sneaky and insidious war that the Canada is engaging against the United States. I've seen it first hand, and I'm almost won over already without a missile being fired, a gun being shot, or a voice being raised.
One of my best friends has already been captured. A series of continuous communications between him and a Canadian woman compelled to him voyage across the US northern border, no doubt on missions of diplomacy.
On the second trip, she returned with him, effectively infiltrating American society. Since then, he has started learning french, can name all of the provinces, and took up drinking molson ale.
I fear it's only a matter of time before I fall sway too. I've found myself surfing Canadian web sites unintentionally. I now know where Saskatchewan (and can spell it too) is in relation to Manitoba. I find myself watching a lot more hockey.
posted by bragadocchio at 10:15 AM on September 30, 2001
One of my best friends has already been captured. A series of continuous communications between him and a Canadian woman compelled to him voyage across the US northern border, no doubt on missions of diplomacy.
On the second trip, she returned with him, effectively infiltrating American society. Since then, he has started learning french, can name all of the provinces, and took up drinking molson ale.
I fear it's only a matter of time before I fall sway too. I've found myself surfing Canadian web sites unintentionally. I now know where Saskatchewan (and can spell it too) is in relation to Manitoba. I find myself watching a lot more hockey.
posted by bragadocchio at 10:15 AM on September 30, 2001
Stereolab? Canadian? I'd love it if you were right, Miguel, but unless Tim Gane was born in Canada, we'll have to stick with Celine Dion, Allanis and William Shatner.
I've never even heard of the possibility of "Canuck" ever offending anyone. Don't you know we had a superhero named Captain Canuck?
Canada is more of an extra, a feature, a desirable accessory.
...
Though walking round the MicMac Mall in Halifax I didn't notice any indigenous culture either.
These comments, however, offend me. Sorta. Okay, not really. But I feel that they should.
posted by D at 10:34 AM on September 30, 2001
I've never even heard of the possibility of "Canuck" ever offending anyone. Don't you know we had a superhero named Captain Canuck?
Canada is more of an extra, a feature, a desirable accessory.
...
Though walking round the MicMac Mall in Halifax I didn't notice any indigenous culture either.
These comments, however, offend me. Sorta. Okay, not really. But I feel that they should.
posted by D at 10:34 AM on September 30, 2001
Canada makes a good hat, sitting on top of the US and absorbing all the bad weather.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 10:45 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by Steven Den Beste at 10:45 AM on September 30, 2001
Hockey. I love hockey. You know maybe there is in insidious plot to take over the U.S.
posted by bjgeiger at 10:47 AM on September 30, 2001
posted by bjgeiger at 10:47 AM on September 30, 2001
D, you forgot Bryan Adams. Although I could see how that's easy to do . . .
posted by jennaratrix at 12:04 PM on September 30, 2001
posted by jennaratrix at 12:04 PM on September 30, 2001
The only thing good about the Mic Mac Mall was the Beaver Canoe store.. and now it is gone. Aboriginal named mall, beavers, canoes.... This is what Canada is people. Bow to the beaver.
posted by stewie at 12:11 PM on September 30, 2001
posted by stewie at 12:11 PM on September 30, 2001
Hockey's easy. You know you've been assimilated by the Canadian Borg when you voluntarily watch the Women's Curling Championships in February. *hangs head in shame*
Ah, Colleen Jones. I love the way you say "harrrrrrrrrrder!"
posted by likorish at 12:59 PM on September 30, 2001
Ah, Colleen Jones. I love the way you say "harrrrrrrrrrder!"
posted by likorish at 12:59 PM on September 30, 2001
Hey, the Beaver Canoe store I missed, but it did have the all-time-best leather goods store, called Roots, where I bought my best, still-standing, still-being-stolen leather jacket. It was quite expensive(I remember I actually produced a streaming video of tears to convince my parents of its importance and that this was by no means contrived or difficult)but, year for year and, day for day, a bit like old Neil Young, it just keeps getting better and so works out at(divide by 25 and then 12)only about $3.00(Canadian)a year.
As for bowing to the beaver am I the only one to really, truly miss the great Leslie Nielsen?
Also, D: take no offence but it was a bit disheartening to shop at the MicMac Mall, eat MicMac chowder, read MicMac histories and then find out you'd been no better than your Northern Alliance.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:08 PM on September 30, 2001
As for bowing to the beaver am I the only one to really, truly miss the great Leslie Nielsen?
Also, D: take no offence but it was a bit disheartening to shop at the MicMac Mall, eat MicMac chowder, read MicMac histories and then find out you'd been no better than your Northern Alliance.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:08 PM on September 30, 2001
jennaratrix: for shame, you're right! And it looks like he's transformed himself into a Vegan trance god while I wasn't looking.
If the way to a nation's heart is through its comedians, we have already conquered your puny country, Americans. I trust I don't need to cite the usual examples.
posted by D at 1:15 PM on September 30, 2001
If the way to a nation's heart is through its comedians, we have already conquered your puny country, Americans. I trust I don't need to cite the usual examples.
posted by D at 1:15 PM on September 30, 2001
I fear it's only a matter of time before I fall sway too. I've found myself surfing Canadian web sites unintentionally. I now know where Saskatchewan (and can spell it too) is in relation to Manitoba. I find myself watching a lot more hockey.
(bragadocchio)
Canada makes a good hat, sitting on top of the US and absorbing all the bad weather.
steven den beste)
Hockey. I love hockey. You know maybe there is in insidious plot to take over the U.S
(bjgeiger)
you forgot Bryan Adams. Although I could see how that's easy to do . . .
(jennaratrix)
You know you've been assimilated by the Canadian Borg when you voluntarily watch the Women's Curling Championships in February
(likorish)
Loving you...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:21 PM on September 30, 2001
If the way to a nation's heart is through its comedians, we have already conquered your puny country, Americans. I trust I don't need to cite the usual examples
Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, right?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:24 PM on September 30, 2001
Graydon Carter, the editor of Vanity Fair, right?
posted by MiguelCardoso at 1:24 PM on September 30, 2001
I think the appropriate Nick Cave line for this thread is "under 15 feet of pure white snow..." And clam juice is good. Really .
You know how you always miss the most important comment, because it's short, pithy and to the point?
Well, I just did that. But thanks a million, transient - aren't we all that very thing, transitory, vagabonds, passing through, but merely spots, specks and spectrae on the way to nowhere special ? - thanks for making me hate the fact that there isn't yet an Oxford Encyclopaedia of Nick Cave Metafilter Quotations.
(I hope)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:16 PM on September 30, 2001
You know how you always miss the most important comment, because it's short, pithy and to the point?
Well, I just did that. But thanks a million, transient - aren't we all that very thing, transitory, vagabonds, passing through, but merely spots, specks and spectrae on the way to nowhere special ? - thanks for making me hate the fact that there isn't yet an Oxford Encyclopaedia of Nick Cave Metafilter Quotations.
(I hope)
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:16 PM on September 30, 2001
Mayorbob : Victoria Bitter is foul foul piss, sir. Truly. If you're going to go big-brewery with Oz beer, have a Hahn Premium or a Crown Lager. Mmmm doggies.
Not sure the state of Canadian brewing these days, but dollars to doughnuts (as they say somewhere or other) it's got more alcohol than the Yankee variety.
I just woke up, and I'm pleasantly surprised to see this thread hasn't gotten acrimonious at all, possibly thanks to Miguel blowing sunshine up everyone's butts (*grin*). That's a Good Thing, I guess, but I must say I'm the tiniest bit disappointed...I was kinda spoiling for a fight!
(insert appropriate annoying Monty Python quote here)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:28 PM on September 30, 2001
Not sure the state of Canadian brewing these days, but dollars to doughnuts (as they say somewhere or other) it's got more alcohol than the Yankee variety.
I just woke up, and I'm pleasantly surprised to see this thread hasn't gotten acrimonious at all, possibly thanks to Miguel blowing sunshine up everyone's butts (*grin*). That's a Good Thing, I guess, but I must say I'm the tiniest bit disappointed...I was kinda spoiling for a fight!
(insert appropriate annoying Monty Python quote here)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:28 PM on September 30, 2001
I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK!
You want acrimony? Go back to sleep!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:51 PM on September 30, 2001
You want acrimony? Go back to sleep!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:51 PM on September 30, 2001
You want sweetness and light? Go elsewhere!
(I was thinking more along the lines of "I came here for an armument!/This is being hit on the head lessons in here..."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:20 PM on September 30, 2001
(I was thinking more along the lines of "I came here for an armument!/This is being hit on the head lessons in here..."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:20 PM on September 30, 2001
Sorry, I should probably qualify that last a bit : discussion and disputation are by their very nature adversarial, to a degree. This is as it should be. Nothing good comes of a circle-jerk, Miguel, except slack grins and a puddle on the floor.
Endless cheerleader posts devalue the quality of the discussion here, though I must admit that I'm as guilty as anyone, if not more so, of making occasional flippant and offhand remarks. I also make the odd cheerleader post, but clearly mark them as such, hoping to point out that I know they're a cheerleader post, and to be used sparingly.
I was hoping, despite the amusing nature link you posted, that a somewhat serious discussion might result, and that someone besides yourself (like me) might learn something out of it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:29 PM on September 30, 2001
Endless cheerleader posts devalue the quality of the discussion here, though I must admit that I'm as guilty as anyone, if not more so, of making occasional flippant and offhand remarks. I also make the odd cheerleader post, but clearly mark them as such, hoping to point out that I know they're a cheerleader post, and to be used sparingly.
I was hoping, despite the amusing nature link you posted, that a somewhat serious discussion might result, and that someone besides yourself (like me) might learn something out of it.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:29 PM on September 30, 2001
A special gift for my countrymen (and women) - this thread, Chretien-ized!
(For the non-Canucks, the link (courtesy of buzz.ca) does some fancy regular-expressioning to make text read uncannily like it's being read out loud by Jean Chretien, the Canadian Prime Minister, who takes some...liberties with standard English pronunciation)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:42 AM on October 1, 2001
(For the non-Canucks, the link (courtesy of buzz.ca) does some fancy regular-expressioning to make text read uncannily like it's being read out loud by Jean Chretien, the Canadian Prime Minister, who takes some...liberties with standard English pronunciation)
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 1:42 AM on October 1, 2001
This is getting ridiculous, me talking to myself, I know. But damn it, some of the facile comments above that perpetuate the myth of Canada as also-ran (by myself as well) have been weighing heavy on my mind all day...I found this interview by John Ralston Saul, perhaps the living Canadian for whom I have the greatest intellectual respect, and it's worth quoting him, I think.
"The fundamental problem is that it's much more complex than believing we are the inferior party on this continent and that we only came into existence because we didn't want to be American. This is one of the garbage arguments that people like Donald Creighton are responsible for, which is totally untrue when you look at what Canadians were saying in the 1830s, '40s and '50s. People imagined the country. LaFontaine and Baldwin had very clear ideas about what they were doing. The movement was a positive movement, not a negative movement, and it wasn't a British imperial movement either. We weren't doing this for the Queen. We had an idea of what we could do here, and it was very different from what the British might have imagined."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:34 AM on October 1, 2001
"The fundamental problem is that it's much more complex than believing we are the inferior party on this continent and that we only came into existence because we didn't want to be American. This is one of the garbage arguments that people like Donald Creighton are responsible for, which is totally untrue when you look at what Canadians were saying in the 1830s, '40s and '50s. People imagined the country. LaFontaine and Baldwin had very clear ideas about what they were doing. The movement was a positive movement, not a negative movement, and it wasn't a British imperial movement either. We weren't doing this for the Queen. We had an idea of what we could do here, and it was very different from what the British might have imagined."
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 3:34 AM on October 1, 2001
Da fundamendal probliem is dat it's much more complex dan believings huwee ar da inferior partee on dis con'inends an' dat huwee only came indo hexidence because huwee didn't w'an' to be American.
Argh. MeFi and Chretien don't mix.
Gotta love Ralston Saul. My pet peeve about Canadian identity is Canadians who think their country has a boring history, and/or is presently boring – which I find outrageous. Let's not forget that Sir John A. founded our nation in the middle of a year-long bender, and frequently vomited in mid-speech. Hell, that ain't boring, no sir!
posted by D at 8:19 AM on October 1, 2001
Argh. MeFi and Chretien don't mix.
Gotta love Ralston Saul. My pet peeve about Canadian identity is Canadians who think their country has a boring history, and/or is presently boring – which I find outrageous. Let's not forget that Sir John A. founded our nation in the middle of a year-long bender, and frequently vomited in mid-speech. Hell, that ain't boring, no sir!
posted by D at 8:19 AM on October 1, 2001
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
An appetizer: The best way America could show the rest of the world it is no longer the heavy-handed tough guy of bygone years would be to quietly throw in the towel, disband, and hook up with the nicest, mildest, most peace loving country on the face of God's green earth. Luckily for the US they have such a country right next door, namely, Canada.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 3:16 AM on September 30, 2001