Also, Silver Age Superman was kind of a dick
December 21, 2011 7:46 AM Subscribe
Even though it has already been said in the post title, it really can't be said enough - Silver Age Superman was kind of a dick.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:10 AM on December 21, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:10 AM on December 21, 2011 [4 favorites]
Huh. Bizarre.
The comments there led me to Superdickery, with Superman threatening Wonder Woman ("We can learn if a beautiful woman can suffer" - WTF???) and Superman grinning as Wonder Woman takes Lois Lane apart.
Words fail me. (Or on preview, what Curious Artificer said.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:16 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
The comments there led me to Superdickery, with Superman threatening Wonder Woman ("We can learn if a beautiful woman can suffer" - WTF???) and Superman grinning as Wonder Woman takes Lois Lane apart.
Words fail me. (Or on preview, what Curious Artificer said.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:16 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Needs more giant ants.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:20 AM on December 21, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:20 AM on December 21, 2011 [5 favorites]
RedOrGreen: that first link is from a John Byrne story where Superman has swapped minds with some women-hating douche, so it's not Kal-El being a dick there. Byrne also did a story in which Superman made a porno (mind control again) so he may have had some issues.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:23 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by MartinWisse at 8:23 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Byrne also had Superman make out with a fourteen-year-old Lana Lang once.
posted by griphus at 8:34 AM on December 21, 2011
posted by griphus at 8:34 AM on December 21, 2011
Not sure how "de-powered" she is, but I'd have to point out that Diana would probably be one of the more capable heroes in a "we all lost our mad powerz" situation. She could still go all divinely-trained-Greek-warrior on your ass, and she's awful bright.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 8:42 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by scaryblackdeath at 8:42 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
In 1969-alternate-universe-Greenwich-Village-with-poor-narrative-construction, we are all Comics Curmudgeons.
This was hilarious. More of this, please, Internet.
posted by psoas at 8:59 AM on December 21, 2011
This was hilarious. More of this, please, Internet.
posted by psoas at 8:59 AM on December 21, 2011
She could still go all divinely-trained-Greek-warrior on your ass, and she's awful bright.
It's even crazier than you think, seeing as how she gave up her super-powers to remain on Earth, but substituted Kung-Fu training with a blind master instead.
posted by Panjandrum at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011
It's even crazier than you think, seeing as how she gave up her super-powers to remain on Earth, but substituted Kung-Fu training with a blind master instead.
posted by Panjandrum at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011
"I'd have to point out that Diana would probably be one of the more capable heroes in a "we all lost our mad powerz" situation. She could still go all divinely-trained-Greek-warrior on your ass, and she's awful bright."
Wonder Woman is pretty much a bad-ass combination of Batman and Superman. Also, she's totally willing to kill villains when she has to.
posted by oddman at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
Wonder Woman is pretty much a bad-ass combination of Batman and Superman. Also, she's totally willing to kill villains when she has to.
posted by oddman at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
Man, the Vandals got a raw deal.
Lots of racial/national slurs have fallen out of usage.
We don't even say "gypped" anymore mostly (and rightly so).
But you want an epithet for wonton senseless destruction, 1500-odd years later, it's still "Vandal."
The Romans had a serious propaganda machine.
Two things: 1. It just occurs to me that Wonder Woman could have killed the three Kryptonian criminals instead of Superman. Easy fix there.
2. Is it me or is the Mysterious Stranger a dead ringer for Barry Newman (Kowalski from Vanishing Point).
posted by Smedleyman at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
Lots of racial/national slurs have fallen out of usage.
We don't even say "gypped" anymore mostly (and rightly so).
But you want an epithet for wonton senseless destruction, 1500-odd years later, it's still "Vandal."
The Romans had a serious propaganda machine.
Two things: 1. It just occurs to me that Wonder Woman could have killed the three Kryptonian criminals instead of Superman. Easy fix there.
2. Is it me or is the Mysterious Stranger a dead ringer for Barry Newman (Kowalski from Vanishing Point).
posted by Smedleyman at 9:14 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
What is this I genuinely don't even
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2011
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:17 AM on December 21, 2011
Still, it can't be as bad as all...
(Follows griphus' link)
WHAT THE HELL?
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:26 AM on December 21, 2011
(Follows griphus' link)
WHAT THE HELL?
posted by running order squabble fest at 9:26 AM on December 21, 2011
'kay, I've read the article. That's some horrifyingly bad comic right there. And to make it worse, I was waiting for Diana to distract/neutralize the bad guys with some Hostess Fruit Pies the ENTIRE TIME.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 9:43 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by scaryblackdeath at 9:43 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
I'm kind of surprised that they didn't make their "slave" dress any differently when parading her around. It was like casual day at the evil parade.
posted by Karmakaze at 10:16 AM on December 21, 2011
posted by Karmakaze at 10:16 AM on December 21, 2011
WHAT THE HELL?
I have a Supergirl comic where our heroine, concerned that her cousin will remain a bachelor, unsuccessfully tries to hook Superman up with Helen of Troy and then Saturn Woman, which leads to this exchange:
Supergirl: Superman, I have a confession to make! I wanted to arrange a happy marriage for you... I f-failed... both times...
Superman: If I ever did marry...
[Superman takes his teenage cousin's chin and tilts her face towards his]
Superman: ... It would be to someone super and loveable like... you! We can't marry because we're cousins! Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth... we're both from the planet Kypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!
[Supergirl gets an idea and begins to operate a super computer machine]
Supergirl: Hooray!-- Screening all possibility-factors, it indicates a super-woman duplicate of me exists on the planet Staryl! I beg you to go there, Superman! You owe it to yourself to discover if she's the mate for you!
[Superman flies to the distant planet]
Superman: The second planet revolving around that blue sun is... Staryl! Can I find a girl there as wonderful as Supergirl? I'll soon know!
[In the next panel Supergirl is standing on a mountain on Earth, watching via telescopic supervision her cousin making out with her slightly older duplicate]
Supergirl: He found her! An adult Supergirl! A Superwoman! they're kissing! It's love at first sight! I'm so happy for them!
Unfortunately for everyone, the rays of Earth's sun affects Superwoman in a Kryptonite-like manner. Superman is mensch enough to offer to live on Staryl, but Superwoman sobs that Earth needs him (The commute really doesn't seem that bad, though).
And so Supergirl pledges not to mess around in Superman's romantic life anymore, and that's why comics are perverted and wrong.
The end.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:18 AM on December 21, 2011 [9 favorites]
I have a Supergirl comic where our heroine, concerned that her cousin will remain a bachelor, unsuccessfully tries to hook Superman up with Helen of Troy and then Saturn Woman, which leads to this exchange:
Supergirl: Superman, I have a confession to make! I wanted to arrange a happy marriage for you... I f-failed... both times...
Superman: If I ever did marry...
[Superman takes his teenage cousin's chin and tilts her face towards his]
Superman: ... It would be to someone super and loveable like... you! We can't marry because we're cousins! Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth... we're both from the planet Kypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!
[Supergirl gets an idea and begins to operate a super computer machine]
Supergirl: Hooray!-- Screening all possibility-factors, it indicates a super-woman duplicate of me exists on the planet Staryl! I beg you to go there, Superman! You owe it to yourself to discover if she's the mate for you!
[Superman flies to the distant planet]
Superman: The second planet revolving around that blue sun is... Staryl! Can I find a girl there as wonderful as Supergirl? I'll soon know!
[In the next panel Supergirl is standing on a mountain on Earth, watching via telescopic supervision her cousin making out with her slightly older duplicate]
Supergirl: He found her! An adult Supergirl! A Superwoman! they're kissing! It's love at first sight! I'm so happy for them!
Unfortunately for everyone, the rays of Earth's sun affects Superwoman in a Kryptonite-like manner. Superman is mensch enough to offer to live on Staryl, but Superwoman sobs that Earth needs him (The commute really doesn't seem that bad, though).
And so Supergirl pledges not to mess around in Superman's romantic life anymore, and that's why comics are perverted and wrong.
The end.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:18 AM on December 21, 2011 [9 favorites]
Wonder Woman is misunderstood.
I can't think of any situation in which "Have you tried being from SPACE" is not the best thing to say.
posted by straight at 10:26 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
I can't think of any situation in which "Have you tried being from SPACE" is not the best thing to say.
posted by straight at 10:26 AM on December 21, 2011 [1 favorite]
Suddenly, Shabby Katchadourian's fashion choices make perfect sense.
posted by yellowcandy at 10:57 AM on December 21, 2011
posted by yellowcandy at 10:57 AM on December 21, 2011
Superman: ... It would be to someone super and loveable like... you! We can't marry because we're cousins! Though cousins can marry in certain countries here on Earth... we're both from the planet Kypton, where the marriage of cousins was unlawful!.
This is a real thing? Like, is incest one of the long running themes of Superman that I never realized before?
posted by Think_Long at 10:58 AM on December 21, 2011
This is a real thing? Like, is incest one of the long running themes of Superman that I never realized before?
posted by Think_Long at 10:58 AM on December 21, 2011
We don't even say "gypped" anymore mostly (and rightly so).
What? I had no idea that "gyp" was a slur, wow.
posted by JHarris at 11:10 AM on December 21, 2011
What? I had no idea that "gyp" was a slur, wow.
posted by JHarris at 11:10 AM on December 21, 2011
That... that is the Warden of Superjail right there. Fighting Wonder Woman. Wow.
posted by emmtee at 11:24 AM on December 21, 2011
posted by emmtee at 11:24 AM on December 21, 2011
There's some added irony in that I seem to remember Wonder Woman started out as a PG wankfodder for bondage fans... yes? Hm? Anyone? (sighs) Internet.
INTERNET (perkily): SHE SURE DID!
posted by Sebmojo at 12:25 PM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
INTERNET (perkily): SHE SURE DID!
posted by Sebmojo at 12:25 PM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]
Hmmm. Innocent young woman is picked on and "enslaved" by LGBT villains in "The Village", but they're all scared of Tony, an Italian guy, who rescues her and WW with the help of "the boys." And this issue came out later the same year as the Stonewall riot (in fact, given the production lead time of comics, it may have been written and drawn a month or two afterwards), which was not only in protest of police raids on gay bars but also of the fact that the Mafia owned most of the gay bars in NYC. Draw your own conclusions.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:35 PM on December 21, 2011
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:35 PM on December 21, 2011
What? I had no idea that "gyp" was a slur, wow.
I found that out while watching Norm MacDonald's short-lived sitcom, Norm.
posted by jkafka at 10:38 PM on December 21, 2011
I found that out while watching Norm MacDonald's short-lived sitcom, Norm.
posted by jkafka at 10:38 PM on December 21, 2011
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posted by drezdn at 8:01 AM on December 21, 2011 [2 favorites]