Megatouch
April 18, 2012 1:08 PM   Subscribe

It’s the Megatouch M.O.: Provide customers with short bursts of pleasure. The company makes games for people to play at bars when they’re bored. The empty calories of the gaming world. Ever seen a crowd gathered around a glowing screen trying to spot the differences between two almost-identical photos—or one guy sipping a Yuengling and trying to spot the differences between two shots of the same bare-chested woman? Those are probably Megatouch staples Photo Hunt and Erotic Photo Hunt (and that lone guy is probably a rad dude).
posted by josher71 (54 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
 
and that lone guy is probably a rad dude

Yes, yes I am. Thank you.
posted by inigo2 at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh god, photo hunt.

I've strangely met TONS of people playing that damned game, in all variants. It's amazing how that draws people in... Strangely, I've met more women playing Erotic Photo Hunt than I would have ever expected.
posted by MysticMCJ at 1:12 PM on April 18, 2012


Men don't notice what a woman wears in the same way that women observe what women wear. Men are too busy trying to look through the clothing instead of at it. It makes the game challenging for them.
posted by Renoroc at 1:14 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Maybe the updated multi-touch machine will have updated erotic photos. Perhaps from the 1990s, or at least the late 1980s.
posted by uncleozzy at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2012 [5 favorites]


Strangely, I've met more women playing Erotic Photo Hunt than I would have ever expected.

The only time I've ever played Erotic Photo Hunt, it was a woman who started it and wanted me to play. It was sort of weird.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 1:19 PM on April 18, 2012


from article: “... and that lone guy is probably a rad dude”

What? Why?
posted by koeselitz at 1:20 PM on April 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


I not seen either, no, but I also, until only a few weeks ago, had assumed that the "VLT" that all of the local bars advertise was some kind of sandwich. I don't really go to bars, apparently.
posted by wreckingball at 1:22 PM on April 18, 2012


The only time I've ever played Erotic Photo Hunt, it was a woman who started it and wanted me to play. It was sort of weird.

Yes - This is actually how I started playing it. This happened to me on one than more occasion. So I started playing the erotic version by default. And I met a ton of women. Now, I don't mean "one night stand" by met, but I had a ton of really entertaining nights, some great conversation, and a couple of good female friends AS A DIRECT RESULT of playing specifically the erotic version.

I've never been able to explain it.
posted by MysticMCJ at 1:23 PM on April 18, 2012


If you use the "magic eye image" principle (cross your eyes so both images overlap, focus, and all differences between the two images stand out three dimensionally) then photo hunt becomes really easy (though it takes some getting used to when you try to reach out and touch the difference while keeping your eyes crossed). Easy way to impress someone at a bar.

Every time I tell someone that I realize how terribly terribly sad it makes me sound. I swear to god I've only played that game like 3 times ever.
posted by jermsplan at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ever seen a crowd gathered around a glowing screen trying to spot the differences between two almost-identical photos—or one guy sipping a Yuengling and trying to spot the differences between two shots of the same bare-chested woman?

No, I haven't.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


This reference will have an extremely limited audience, but Erotic Photo Hunt sounds exactly like one of the fake games Pete Holmes mentions when he does Gamefly ads on his podcast,
posted by Horace Rumpole at 1:26 PM on April 18, 2012


Even the TVs in the lobby, showing Fox News, were muted.

Gah. That one detail does soooo much towards filling me in on their corporate culture.

McDonalds places around here used to have Megatouch machines installed. I played around on one a few times. There was a kind of Sudoku game on it that wasn't bad, using a smaller board (with six-space grids instead of nine), but for some reason they put this weird stereotypical Chinese theme on it, with a cartoon Fu Manchu smiling and mugging as the player solves puzzles. It was the darnedest thing. I was left to wonder, was it just something where they pulled something out of a hat to serve as theme, say like putting cartoon frogs on a Bejeweled clone, or did they actually think that Sudoku was Chinese, or did they just go with something arbitrary and assume the player wouldn't notice, or wouldn't care at least?
posted by JHarris at 1:28 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


The only time I've ever played Erotic Photo Hunt, it was a woman who started it and wanted me to play. It was sort of weird.

Did you get to megatouch her?
posted by spicynuts at 1:29 PM on April 18, 2012 [6 favorites]


No, I haven't.

Sad.
posted by josher71 at 1:33 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


11 Ball. That's the game for me. And it doesn't attract women. Which is good, because addition is hard enough.
posted by oneironaut at 1:36 PM on April 18, 2012


Those are probably Megatouch staples Photo Hunt and Erotic Photo Hunt (and that lone guy is probably a rad dude).

I find most of the bars where you can play Photo Hunt style games to be kind of lame (Buffalo Billiards, I am looking at you), but I would totally play Erotic Photo Hunt, that's just absurd enough to be worth it.

Also, I need something to keep people from realizing how terrible I am at Big Buck Hunter. I am the worst at Big Buck Hunter. Seriously, I have better accuracy with an actual gun.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:36 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I find most of the bars where you can play Photo Hunt style games to be kind of lame (Buffalo Billiards, I am looking at you), but I would totally play Erotic Photo Hunt, that's just absurd enough to be worth it.

The erotic version is also easier than the non-erotic photo hunt game.
posted by inigo2 at 1:40 PM on April 18, 2012


erotic photo hunt is not very erotic but is pretty fun
posted by nathancaswell at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've been best man at two weddings due to this game!
posted by kimota at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2012


"A Megatouch unit isn’t a traditional part of the bar experience like, say, a jukebox. Nor is it an overtly money-hungry gambling device like a slot machine. It’s something in between, and that’s the gray area where Megatouch has lived since its beginning . . ."

Not traditional, but it may as well be. Work at a bar and watch the people waiting for their chance at the machine. Yes, I'd like my usual, and I'm going to feed twenty bucks into this machine here. Wait until I've finished a game to ask me if I want another round, please.

You get six credits per buck, and most games are two credits each and the erotic games are one credit more than their non-erotic counterparts. So you end up with either two games per buck, or two games per buck and a single credit left on the machine that you can't use until you feed another buck in and play another 3-credit game. Add to that the relative speed of any game (unless you get first place and a replay, or you're working on one of those treasure hunt games), and they are indeed money-hungry devices - they just aren't much into the gambling because you don't win anything but your name at the top of the scoreboard.

They're crackboxes. They're social crackboxes, because I've seen - and have participated in - games where six people jump in just to find another difference between some girl's boobs or some guy's banana-hammock (because there is indeed a version that shows nearly-naked men instead of naked women).
posted by neewom at 1:43 PM on April 18, 2012


> The company makes games for people to play at bars when they’re bored.

I suppose these sound like more fun than staring into the bottom of your glass in silence.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:46 PM on April 18, 2012 [4 favorites]


Those things are always in the same bars that have the golf arcade game with the spinning ball controller.
posted by maryr at 1:52 PM on April 18, 2012


My wife and I take serious, serious pride in setting the high score for Erotic Photo Hunt in any bar where we find it.
posted by SpiffyRob at 1:54 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


I suppose these sound like more fun than staring into the bottom of your glass in silence.

Smartphones are the real solution to bar boredom.
posted by smackfu at 1:55 PM on April 18, 2012


One of the bars I used to run a DJ night in had one of these at the end of the bar. I'd usually show up early (like around 6PM) because I worked in that city but lived in another town about an hour away and it was pointless to drive all the way home just to turn around and come right back. So I spent many Monday evenings eating awesome veggie burgers and drinking Yeungling or pitchers of PBR at the bar while the bar owner or other bar workers (hey, it was a monday evening at a bar, what do you expect, a crowd?) would plonk down at these machines and play for hours while we watched the Law & Order channel (either TNT or USA or one of the other channels that just play Law & Order back to back to back forever and ever amen).

Man, I seriously miss those days. I had so much fun back then because I had nothing to do for a few hours but sit in a bar and hang out with awesome people. I still don't know what happened to most of them.
posted by daq at 1:56 PM on April 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Megatouch devices make vending companies' serious coin. My best friend runs a vending company and from everything he's told me for years on end now, it's the one machine that keeps keep most vending businesses afloat where there is not yet legal gambling.
posted by roboton666 at 2:08 PM on April 18, 2012


My wife and I take serious, serious pride in setting the high score for Erotic Photo Hunt in any bar where we find it.

We have spent more than a few dollars getting the high score just so we can write something dirty in the high score list.
posted by uncleozzy at 2:09 PM on April 18, 2012


Strangely, I've met more women playing Erotic Photo Hunt than I would have ever expected.

I used to be a resident dj at a bar in the suburbs of Northern VA, and I have spent far more time drinking Heinekens and playing Erotic Photo Hunt with women than anybody should.

Also, I will crush anyone at 11 ball.
posted by empath at 2:11 PM on April 18, 2012


I only saw these machines once, in a karaoke bar on Lincoln avenue in Chicago, and I didn't say for more than a few minutes; those machines screamed "not my kind of bar" in the loudest way.
posted by davejay at 2:11 PM on April 18, 2012


We have spent more than a few dollars getting the high score just so we can write something dirty in the high score list.


We also spent a lot of time exploring the dirty-word filters on the high score table.
posted by empath at 2:12 PM on April 18, 2012


Okay, I just had this idea for a flash mob. We should all just show up at a bar with these machines and set up an esports event around people playing erotic photohunt.

We can get Husky and Day 9 to cast it.
posted by empath at 2:14 PM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm trying to imagine what an erotic spot-the-difference game would be like. Spot the third nipple?
posted by Joe Chip at 2:21 PM on April 18, 2012


But the ML-1 units connect wirelessly to the internet, meaning the Monkey Bash leaderboard also shows scores from Finnerty Shea McSeamus’ Even More Irish Pub across the street and Barry’s Not-At-All Irish Pub across the country

Oops. When X-Box Live first became useful, I checked out some ghost runs from the car game I was loving at the time. Lo and behold, the people on the leaderboard weren't better than me so much as they were Louvre-worthy artists politely not mentioning I was finger painting with shit. It's one thing to have someone at the bar beat your top score by 20%. It's quite another to find out some alcoholic is 100x better than you. Didn't we just have that post about how the Internet only intensifies the "Bowling Alone" problem? This sounds like a good way to encourage suicide.
posted by yerfatma at 2:21 PM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm trying to imagine what an erotic spot-the-difference game would be like. Spot the third nipple?

-- One boob covered up / not covered up.
-- Dog with a long tongue / normal tongue (yes, it's as creepy as it sounds; it shows up a lot)
-- Background building there / not there, smaller / bigger, etc
-- Background plant there / not there
-- Jewelry there / not there
-- Hair covering ear / not covering ear
-- Changes to the stairs/other household items in the background

Those are a few of the regular changes that come to mind.
posted by inigo2 at 2:29 PM on April 18, 2012


I'm worried I should clarify: the dog is in the background, it is not the erotic part of the picture.
posted by inigo2 at 2:30 PM on April 18, 2012 [12 favorites]


In the early 1990's I was stuck overnight in Houston with a coworker so we went to the hotel bar to have a few beers. They had one of these machines, not a megatouch but a similar model in a small, almost early mac-like form factor, and my partner pumped a couple of coins through it. Meanwhile one of the regular patrons came up and watched him play. As he finished the game, Mr. Regular asked him:

"Do you think you can beat that game?"

K. shrugged and said "I don't know, I've just played a couple of times."

"Well, can you pick it up?"

K. picked up the machine; it was only maybe 15 pounds.

"Now shake it."

K. shook it. Quarters audibly rattled around inside it.

"You know what that is?"

K. shook his head.

"That's all the other people who beat that machine." And he LOL'd.
posted by localroger at 2:30 PM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


I like the match-the-celebrity game, and the fake-Qix one.
posted by box at 2:43 PM on April 18, 2012


Spot the third nipple?

It's made out of gummi.
posted by maryr at 3:11 PM on April 18, 2012


Are me and my friends the only ones who played trivia on those things?
posted by TedW at 3:20 PM on April 18, 2012 [1 favorite]


The company makes games for people to play at bars when they’re bored.

I'm really curious how the iPhone/Android market has affected these things. I'm always amazed people pay to play them.

Now Golden Tee or Addams Family pinball, sure.

Are me and my friends the only ones who played trivia on those things?

That's the only time I've ever even seen one of those machines in action.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:39 PM on April 18, 2012


"That's all the other people who beat that machine." And he LOL'd.

What?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:46 PM on April 18, 2012 [2 favorites]


The people were turned into quarters.
posted by empath at 4:55 PM on April 18, 2012 [13 favorites]


The Gameological Society, the publisher of this article, is the AV Club's game news/commentary subsite; it's fairly new (and fairly irritating to me, solely because the link to it on the AV Club's main site takes the place formerly used by Savage Love) and I think that they're still looking for someone among the thousands of people who would like to make a living, or at least part of a living, writing about games who can actually do so in a coherent and entertaining matter. Not only does this writer use odd turns of phrase ("rad dude"? Does he look like mid-80s Corey Feldman?), but the thing he says about Megatouch consoles not being able to communicate with each other until "recently" isn't true, unless "recently" means "over a decade ago", because that's as least as long as the units in the bars around my central Illinois town have been able to communicate with at least each other. I know this, because several years ago I set the local record for one of their games--I can't even remember which one it was, now (duh, I was drinking when I did)--and won a weekend trip for two to St. Louis, complete with Cardinals tickets. I'm not even particularly a baseball fan, but enjoyed it nonetheless because there were plenty of new bars to hit after the game. I guess that makes me a "score whore."

Anyway. There's a definite progression from the games where you still have to be fairly sober to play well to the ones like Strip Club (strip poker; if you lose a hand, the clothes go back on the on-screen model, although I've wondered if some bar somewhere has had someone who played along in the wrong way) that are really just quarter-burners. I don't really care if they've got an iPad version of their games or not, since I've got plenty of games on my iOS device already; since I've stopped drinking, and thus am not in bars that often any more anyway, I'll play once in a great while purely out of nostalgia.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:25 PM on April 18, 2012


Lo and behold, the people on the leaderboard weren't better than me so much as they were Louvre-worthy artists politely not mentioning I was finger painting with shit. It's one thing to have someone at the bar beat your top score by 20%. It's quite another to find out some alcoholic is 100x better than you. Didn't we just have that post about how the Internet only intensifies the "Bowling Alone" problem?

I'm convinced this is a much bigger problem that game developers realize. Local score tables are fine, but for internet-wide tables there can only be one number-one player in the whole world. And I say this as someone who, once in a while, manages to be seriously competitive on them.

Another problem is that they're usually very vulnerable to hacking. I have posted some very good scores on the The Ripley's Believe It Or Not! scoreboard on iPad Pinball Arcade, but my best score (208M) is much less than the top scores on the board. Except those scores are highly suspect: they're all either 10 billion or 20 billion plus some piddling number of points. The closeness of those scores to each other implies heavily that they've hacked the board, and no-one playing honestly will ever have a chance of matching them. (The highest score less than 10G is less than a billion.) In this case, it would be better if there weren't an internet scoreboard at all.
posted by JHarris at 7:05 PM on April 18, 2012


One boob covered up / not covered up.

Because men don't tend to notice if a woman's boob is covered or not?
posted by straight at 7:18 PM on April 18, 2012


The Megatouch master from the bar I used to frequent is now involutarily committed after having been found incompetent to stand trial after he shanked a guy at the homeless encampment down by the river. Draw your own conclusions.
posted by notsnot at 7:35 PM on April 18, 2012


Does the closeness of the worldwide high scores imply that the scores are hacked? I don't know enough about iPad Pinball Arcade to know, but I feel like with at least some of the games I've seen (racing games and button-mashing games are possible examples (those timed NTN bar trivia games might be another)), the closeness of the high scores seems to suggest that players are approaching the perfect game or the maximum number of points on the board or whatever.
posted by box at 7:58 PM on April 18, 2012


Oh, man. Spot-the-difference games are a proofreader's strength, and I do love me this one. However, I'm physically unable to call the erotic version anything but Photo Cunt. (And for those who haven't played it: the pictures are the least sexy thing ever.) And now I want to go find one.
posted by fiercecupcake at 8:47 PM on April 18, 2012 [3 favorites]


Pinball games are not generally the sort to have maximum scores, unless you count things like maximum integers or highest score before rollover, neither of which are likely here.

Here are the current all-time high scores for RBION:
1. 20,060,251,020
2. 20,054,897,540
3. 20,017,665,590
4. 20,010,896,730
5. 20,006,232,110
6. 20,004,487,710
7. 20,003,959,070 << notice how up to this point, the variance between scores is impossibly slight compared to their size
8. 10,069,742,180 << now a sudden jump of 10B to the next score
[...]
57. 10,000,614,090 << lowest suspect score, notice how it's *just* over 10B.
58. 2,228,334,340 << this is an extremely high score that would take hours to earn in RBION, but at least it's plausible
59. 1,531,359,970
60. 923,012,230 << now the scores have a much more realistic distribution
61. 785,236,540
62. 565,086,580
63. 502,651,840
...and so on.

For the record, my own high score is currently 89th place: 208,420,430. That takes me about half an hour. Real pinball, and also this particular iPad recreation, is a very chaotic game, and ultimately there is always a luck factor to how well you do (although less of one than new players think). Scores of 10 and 20B are theoretically possible, but so many? And clustered around specific score thresholds? I don't believe it, it seems much more likely to me there's a flaw in the game's score checksum algorithm at 10 billion.

(For pinball geeks only: There are a couple of awards I have yet to earn: I haven't completed Atlantis or started Frog Frenzy yet, but an award of 10B would be incredibly disproportionate for either of those. The highest single award I've seen is about 29M for touring the world three times in one game. (It awards 10M for a "perfect tour," which happens when completing a tour and reaching Atlantis at the same time.))
posted by JHarris at 2:53 AM on April 19, 2012 [2 favorites]


> The company makes games for people to play at bars when they’re bored.

I suppose these sound like more fun than staring into the bottom of your glass in silence.


Man, I thought watching TV all evening was grim and depressing. I can't imagine spending $N/hr to be bored in public.

Get a hobby, people.
posted by DU at 4:53 AM on April 19, 2012


And for those who haven't played it: the pictures are the least sexy thing ever.

... unless you're into hairspray, Ferrari Testarossas, and awkward one-piece swimsuits arranged to coyly expose a nipple, in which case, ay, chihuahua.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:37 AM on April 19, 2012


Man, I thought watching TV all evening was grim and depressing. I can't imagine spending $N/hr to be bored in public.

Get a hobby, people.


That IS my hobby.
posted by josher71 at 8:16 AM on April 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Get a hobby, people.

They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:36 AM on April 19, 2012 [1 favorite]


Get a hobby, people.

Paul is a real estate novelist.
posted by maryr at 1:53 PM on April 19, 2012


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