I want to find dogs with chill vibes
July 26, 2012 6:10 AM Subscribe
A few months back, SB Nation's Matt Ufford went to the Westminster Dog Show with a mission to pet every dog there. From the similarly awesome ideas file, Vice sent a reporter there who’d never done acid before to experience the Westminster Dog Show on acid.
More pictures from the Dog Show.
Previous Vice "On Acid" articles:
Lauren Hill... On Acid!
London Fashion Week... On Acid!
Turning 30 and Public Speaking... On Acid!
OWS...ON ACID!
Druids...ON ACID!
Interviewing Kevin Smith... On Acid!
Abandoned Military Base... On Acid!
Theme Park... On Acid!
Scary Things in London... On Acid!
Stand Up Comedy... On Acid!
More pictures from the Dog Show.
Previous Vice "On Acid" articles:
Lauren Hill... On Acid!
London Fashion Week... On Acid!
Turning 30 and Public Speaking... On Acid!
OWS...ON ACID!
Druids...ON ACID!
Interviewing Kevin Smith... On Acid!
Abandoned Military Base... On Acid!
Theme Park... On Acid!
Scary Things in London... On Acid!
Stand Up Comedy... On Acid!
Waterslides are where it's at.
posted by Theta States at 6:30 AM on July 26, 2012
posted by Theta States at 6:30 AM on July 26, 2012
A Roger Waters show with pictures of dead Iraqis and dead US soldiers flashing on the screen repeatedly, in a stadium atmosphere a few weeks ago, with your girlfriend who's never really done a hallucinogen before, is not where it's at. Hypothetically, of course.
posted by gman at 6:36 AM on July 26, 2012 [13 favorites]
posted by gman at 6:36 AM on July 26, 2012 [13 favorites]
Lucy in the Sky with Dachshunds
posted by argonauta at 6:36 AM on July 26, 2012 [29 favorites]
posted by argonauta at 6:36 AM on July 26, 2012 [29 favorites]
I once did acid, went to a dogfight and tried to pet every dog there. And that's why my friends call me "Hook."
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 6:38 AM on July 26, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 6:38 AM on July 26, 2012 [5 favorites]
As someone who generally wants to pet all the dogs, I approve of Matt Ufford's mission.
posted by darksong at 6:44 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by darksong at 6:44 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Both of these made me squee (mostly out of jealousy; how did I not know Westminster was going on in my backyard?!), but the "pet every dog" guy was false advertising; he was clearly prejudiced against like most of the dogs there. (He was totally right about that Cesar guy, though. He's creepy and definitely has everything all wrong.)
Also, does anyone know how Vice avoids getting arrested for this "on acid!" series? I'd like to know...for a friend...
posted by Mooseli at 6:47 AM on July 26, 2012
Also, does anyone know how Vice avoids getting arrested for this "on acid!" series? I'd like to know...for a friend...
posted by Mooseli at 6:47 AM on July 26, 2012
I can't even get through the article because that turnstile thing is so unbearably hilarious to me. halp
posted by elizardbits at 6:52 AM on July 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:52 AM on July 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
Mooseli: "Also, does anyone know how Vice avoids getting arrested for this "on acid!" series?"Occam's Razor says it's fake.
posted by brokkr at 6:55 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
As much as I often cringe at Vice, the phrase "a mission to pet every dog" cracked me up -- for some reason, I immediately thought the dogs of Westminster would all be uppity-pseudo-celebs behind some sort of velvet rope....but nope, they are mostly pretty happy to be petted just like regular dog dogs!
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 6:55 AM on July 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 6:55 AM on July 26, 2012 [4 favorites]
Also that picture of the ceiling really is pretty trippy.
posted by elizardbits at 6:57 AM on July 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 6:57 AM on July 26, 2012 [3 favorites]
I'm almost ashamed to admit I totally get the wanting to stand under the fan feeling.
not that I've ever experienced that, or anything...
posted by Benny Andajetz at 7:01 AM on July 26, 2012
not that I've ever experienced that, or anything...
posted by Benny Andajetz at 7:01 AM on July 26, 2012
As everyone knows, when you're tripping there are good-vibe-givers and bad-vibe-givers. This person dressed up as a dog sent Brayden his first wave of anxiety. He kept saying, "I really don't like that dog," and, "I can see through its nose that there's a mean Asian lady in there."
I have had the experience of being way too goddamn high around a person in a dog suit. Looking into the mouth and seeing the person in the dog ... that, my friend, is the abyss staring back.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:17 AM on July 26, 2012 [17 favorites]
I have had the experience of being way too goddamn high around a person in a dog suit. Looking into the mouth and seeing the person in the dog ... that, my friend, is the abyss staring back.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:17 AM on July 26, 2012 [17 favorites]
Related: An attempt to recreate Doc Ellis's acid no-hitter on XBox.
posted by no regrets, coyote at 7:26 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by no regrets, coyote at 7:26 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
One of the finest Naomi Campbell moments ever:
"I swear I'm not making this up, but when Elektra asked: "Do you mind if I get a picture with you?" Naomi turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not speaking." Which was weird, because she had to speak in order to say that."
posted by Amplify at 7:27 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
"I swear I'm not making this up, but when Elektra asked: "Do you mind if I get a picture with you?" Naomi turned to her and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not speaking." Which was weird, because she had to speak in order to say that."
posted by Amplify at 7:27 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I want to find the Dog Show On Acid thing funny (and let's be real here: I love Best In Show, and the turnstile thing was great). But I can't get over how douchey these guys are to get in the middle of something that so many people find important and meaningful.
I'm a huge fan of Ali G, and even he has a point (kind of). But this Vice guy reminds me of being in college, stuck with some rich stoner asshole on a group project, having to explain something over and over again because That Guy doesn't get it -- and really could not care less -- while our own workload and grade kiiiind of depends on him not fucking up.
posted by Madamina at 7:56 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm a huge fan of Ali G, and even he has a point (kind of). But this Vice guy reminds me of being in college, stuck with some rich stoner asshole on a group project, having to explain something over and over again because That Guy doesn't get it -- and really could not care less -- while our own workload and grade kiiiind of depends on him not fucking up.
posted by Madamina at 7:56 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Just reading the words "dog show on acid" made me start getting that flashbacky feeling.
posted by Occula at 8:04 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Occula at 8:04 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Jesus. I couldn't even handle the supermarket. I got really excited about how the arrangements of products in the aisles indicated the secret ontological connections between them. And then I saw a cop!
posted by thelonius at 8:11 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 8:11 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Matt Ufford got his face licked a LOT. That is awesome. The Dog Show On Acid thing, for me, was just boring. Also, every time I saw that guy's "after" shots with his hair in braids I just got angry, for some reason. And I don't know why.
posted by antifuse at 8:31 AM on July 26, 2012
posted by antifuse at 8:31 AM on July 26, 2012
Also, does anyone know how Vice avoids getting arrested for this "on acid!" series? I'd like to know...for a friend...
Unless the reporter got busted for holding (or possession by virtue of being high, though I don't know if the cops really pursue it that aggressively), it doesn't seem like it would be illegal. Talking or writing about being high isn't typically a crime.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:11 AM on July 26, 2012
Unless the reporter got busted for holding (or possession by virtue of being high, though I don't know if the cops really pursue it that aggressively), it doesn't seem like it would be illegal. Talking or writing about being high isn't typically a crime.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:11 AM on July 26, 2012
Unless the reporter got busted for holding (or possession by virtue of being high, though I don't know if the cops really pursue it that aggressively), it doesn't seem like it would be illegal.
Surprisingly enough, this is largely correct. Manufacture, possession, and sale of controlled substances is illegal. But using them generally isn't.
This is partly because proving that someone's actually taken drugs can be pretty hard. But even if it weren't, the Supreme Court is pretty clear that being a certain way can't be illegal. Being a certain way in a certain place amounts to doing something, but simply "being high" is probably not something we can criminalize under the Constitution.
So the cops would need to prove that the little square the guy ate was actually drugs. In the absence of any physical evidence, it's going to be difficult to convince a jury that there is no reasonable doubt as to the proposition that the thing was sugar it's all just a publicity stunt.
posted by valkyryn at 9:32 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Surprisingly enough, this is largely correct. Manufacture, possession, and sale of controlled substances is illegal. But using them generally isn't.
This is partly because proving that someone's actually taken drugs can be pretty hard. But even if it weren't, the Supreme Court is pretty clear that being a certain way can't be illegal. Being a certain way in a certain place amounts to doing something, but simply "being high" is probably not something we can criminalize under the Constitution.
So the cops would need to prove that the little square the guy ate was actually drugs. In the absence of any physical evidence, it's going to be difficult to convince a jury that there is no reasonable doubt as to the proposition that the thing was sugar it's all just a publicity stunt.
posted by valkyryn at 9:32 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Occam's Razor says it's fake.
Yes. It's incredibly unlikely that anyone could ever do acid and then participate in a public event. Doubly so if that's the MD Ren Faire, on average dosed with the better part of a ten-strip, on a weekly basis for a season or two. There is no way that humans could possibly handle doing things and having a spectacularly wierd and hilarious day and also being altered at the same time, I just cannot believe it.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:45 AM on July 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
Yes. It's incredibly unlikely that anyone could ever do acid and then participate in a public event. Doubly so if that's the MD Ren Faire, on average dosed with the better part of a ten-strip, on a weekly basis for a season or two. There is no way that humans could possibly handle doing things and having a spectacularly wierd and hilarious day and also being altered at the same time, I just cannot believe it.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:45 AM on July 26, 2012 [6 favorites]
Unfortunately, cops don't need to prove ANYTHING at the time they arrest you and take you off to spend your weekend tripping in jail. Maybe you can beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride.
posted by thelonius at 9:48 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by thelonius at 9:48 AM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Jesus. I couldn't even handle the supermarket. I got really excited about how the arrangements of products in the aisles indicated the secret ontological connections between them. And then I saw a cop!
You must be Don Delillo.
you're overrated
posted by grobstein at 10:22 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
You must be Don Delillo.
you're overrated
posted by grobstein at 10:22 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]
Unfortunately, cops don't need to prove ANYTHING at the time they arrest you and take you off to spend your weekend tripping in jail. Maybe you can beat the rap, but you can't beat the ride.
I only watched the dog show on acid clip (and got bored about halfway through) - but I presume they're not walking around saying "OMG I'm high on acid hey officer I'm high on acid!" right? So the reason the Vice guys don't get busted for these is that they only advertise *after the fact* that the person being filmed is (supposedly) high at the time.
posted by antifuse at 10:25 AM on July 26, 2012
I only watched the dog show on acid clip (and got bored about halfway through) - but I presume they're not walking around saying "OMG I'm high on acid hey officer I'm high on acid!" right? So the reason the Vice guys don't get busted for these is that they only advertise *after the fact* that the person being filmed is (supposedly) high at the time.
posted by antifuse at 10:25 AM on July 26, 2012
Being high on drugs isn't illegal. Buying/selling/operating a vehicle while under the influence is.
posted by mediated self at 11:52 AM on July 26, 2012
posted by mediated self at 11:52 AM on July 26, 2012
Fun fact about the Westminster dog show: If you buy a ticket, it comes with access to the staging area, so you actually can meet (and often pet) all the dogs.
posted by Mchelly at 12:49 PM on July 26, 2012
posted by Mchelly at 12:49 PM on July 26, 2012
you actually can meet (and often pet) all the dogs.
See, when I get my hands on a specimen of man's best friend, furry buttocks, sinewy shoulders and oh, whimper, yes, under the collar, ohhhh... all get subjected to such enthusiastic excoriation that a measurable percentage of canine volume ends up in whispy clouds coating everything within hair-shot.
Because, doggies!
I would do just as well to to frog-march myself out and save security the trouble.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:29 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
See, when I get my hands on a specimen of man's best friend, furry buttocks, sinewy shoulders and oh, whimper, yes, under the collar, ohhhh... all get subjected to such enthusiastic excoriation that a measurable percentage of canine volume ends up in whispy clouds coating everything within hair-shot.
Because, doggies!
I would do just as well to to frog-march myself out and save security the trouble.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:29 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Um... I think CynicalKnight will be in his bunkcrate
posted by argonauta at 1:35 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by argonauta at 1:35 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Wow, I'm pretty sure US dog showers would be to freaked out about the possibility of parvo infection to let anyone pet their dogs (bench shows aside). I guess there are more good things to come out of the UK quarantine.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:09 PM on July 26, 2012
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:09 PM on July 26, 2012
Great. Now I have a slightly metallic taste in my mouth.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:27 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by clvrmnky at 6:27 PM on July 26, 2012 [1 favorite]
Being high on drugs isn't illegal. Buying/selling/operating a vehicle while under the influence is.
But some of those laws make sense, for people's own protection. You would not *believe* some of the vehicles people will try to buy while high.
posted by FatherDagon at 6:09 AM on July 27, 2012 [3 favorites]
But some of those laws make sense, for people's own protection. You would not *believe* some of the vehicles people will try to buy while high.
posted by FatherDagon at 6:09 AM on July 27, 2012 [3 favorites]
A single hit of acid? That's bullshit. They might as well have sent him to the dog show after drinking strong coffee.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 11:51 AM on July 27, 2012
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 11:51 AM on July 27, 2012
It's no coverage of the Mint 400, I'll tell you right now.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:11 AM on July 28, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by radwolf76 at 10:11 AM on July 28, 2012 [1 favorite]
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posted by valkyryn at 6:24 AM on July 26, 2012 [2 favorites]