How about that youngster?
August 18, 2012 11:25 AM Subscribe
New Star Soccer lets you create a football player, choose his nationality and lead him to glory from the age of 16 until he retires. You can play it on your computer (Kongregate), on Android or on iOS. Critics love it and half a million downloads have drawn further attention to the game and the reasons for its success. (Eurogamer, Edge)
Interview with Simon Read about making the game, cutting features and profitability.
The computer version is free with occasional ads, the Android version is free and the iOS version is a free download with a purchase to unlock career mode.
You can train to improve your stats, negotiate contracts, handle your relationships with your manager, team mates, fans, girlfriend, and sponsors or you might rather negotiate better contracts as your "star rating" increase and splurge on items.
Help mode is brief and helpful. In a word, properties increase your recovery after each game, drinks help you recover energy and possibly increase your skills or happiness while boots increase your stats for a few games. Your actions expend energy and your heart rate controls the number of chances you get, which are also influenced by your relationship with your team, and how quickly you tire out. The music can be muted from the options in the main menu.
NSS is the little brother of New Star Soccer 5, which is a different kettle of fish.
Interview with Simon Read about making the game, cutting features and profitability.
The computer version is free with occasional ads, the Android version is free and the iOS version is a free download with a purchase to unlock career mode.
You can train to improve your stats, negotiate contracts, handle your relationships with your manager, team mates, fans, girlfriend, and sponsors or you might rather negotiate better contracts as your "star rating" increase and splurge on items.
Help mode is brief and helpful. In a word, properties increase your recovery after each game, drinks help you recover energy and possibly increase your skills or happiness while boots increase your stats for a few games. Your actions expend energy and your heart rate controls the number of chances you get, which are also influenced by your relationship with your team, and how quickly you tire out. The music can be muted from the options in the main menu.
NSS is the little brother of New Star Soccer 5, which is a different kettle of fish.
NOBODY PLAY THIS GAME! STAY AWAY!
You will neglect your significant other and personal hygiene for a week leveling up, drinking virtual soda, buying virtual shoes and trying to keeping your virtual significant other happy.
Also: the best way to get a lot of money, fast is slots. It doesn't have as high a payout ratio, but it's got the fastest turnaround time between turns, so you can make more money in the same amount of time. However, if you spend too much time gambling (win or lose) the tabloids will get word and your reputation will drop.
posted by griphus at 11:29 AM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
You will neglect your significant other and personal hygiene for a week leveling up, drinking virtual soda, buying virtual shoes and trying to keeping your virtual significant other happy.
Also: the best way to get a lot of money, fast is slots. It doesn't have as high a payout ratio, but it's got the fastest turnaround time between turns, so you can make more money in the same amount of time. However, if you spend too much time gambling (win or lose) the tabloids will get word and your reputation will drop.
posted by griphus at 11:29 AM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
Or, if you want the purest type of this gaming experience, you can play Cow Clicker.
posted by TheNewWazoo at 11:49 AM on August 18, 2012
posted by TheNewWazoo at 11:49 AM on August 18, 2012
Cow Clicker
I love the fact that this was his most popular work.
posted by jaduncan at 12:08 PM on August 18, 2012
I love the fact that this was his most popular work.
posted by jaduncan at 12:08 PM on August 18, 2012
The mouse interface on the flash version is extremely slow. HTML5 is much smoother.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:24 PM on August 18, 2012
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:24 PM on August 18, 2012
MODS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DELETE THIS POST PEOPLES LIVES ARE AT STAKE
also, if you set 'quality' in your Flash prefs to the lowest setting, the mouse responsiveness improves somewhat.
posted by Casimir at 12:56 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
also, if you set 'quality' in your Flash prefs to the lowest setting, the mouse responsiveness improves somewhat.
posted by Casimir at 12:56 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
....This won't let me play with a lady character, will it? :(
posted by Narrative Priorities at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Narrative Priorities at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
HAHA YES I SCORED A GOAL
oh fuck
posted by the man of twists and turns at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
oh fuck
posted by the man of twists and turns at 1:11 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
I got into this game last week and I'm hooked. I initially tried the Flash version, which is fun but found it very laggy, then I took a flier on the android version which is fantastic. The only issue I have is that battery usage is a big high.
posted by Harpocrates at 1:31 PM on August 18, 2012
posted by Harpocrates at 1:31 PM on August 18, 2012
Dammit this game is just my life. I get paid nothing, my teammates stand around out of position then get mad at me and women are unimpressed with my lifestyle. I can't stop playing either of them either.
posted by cmoj at 4:12 PM on August 18, 2012 [5 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 4:12 PM on August 18, 2012 [5 favorites]
The game is in the pocket of Big NRG!
(Oh, Candy Arroll, we will find a way to make the ladies love you.)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2012 [2 favorites]
(Oh, Candy Arroll, we will find a way to make the ladies love you.)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:39 PM on August 18, 2012 [2 favorites]
It's also teaching my how hard it is to live on $6.
posted by mudpuppie at 5:01 PM on August 18, 2012
posted by mudpuppie at 5:01 PM on August 18, 2012
I've managed to get a shoe endorsement deal, which pays exactly enough I can afford to buy the shittiest shoes on the market. I feel like they should give me the shoes I'm endorsing; finding out that a budding young star Gobshite McFucksteen, playing for WXRFBY is playing without boots so that he can save up to buy the boots he endorses can't possibly be good press. Meanwhile, my teammates have no ability to find open space, so unless the ball hits them in the nuts, and they have an open direct shot on the net from that exact location, they never score. Which is somehow my fault, apparently.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 6:23 PM on August 18, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 6:23 PM on August 18, 2012 [2 favorites]
Ballkick M'Balls finally has a girlfriend!
Jesus this is almost depressing.
posted by cmoj at 8:06 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
Jesus this is almost depressing.
posted by cmoj at 8:06 PM on August 18, 2012 [1 favorite]
I like this. It is kinda cowclicker, with the requisite payments-for-cheats model, but it also includes actual games of skill in there, and a diverse variety of them.
However, progress is painfully slow - am I doing something wrong? Is there anything I'm supposed to do to recharge energy besides buy drinks?
posted by Jimbob at 8:40 PM on August 18, 2012
However, progress is painfully slow - am I doing something wrong? Is there anything I'm supposed to do to recharge energy besides buy drinks?
posted by Jimbob at 8:40 PM on August 18, 2012
However, progress is painfully slow - am I doing something wrong? Is there anything I'm supposed to do to recharge energy besides buy drinks?
Note that during matches you can adjust your "work rate" which lets you burn energy a bit slower in exchange for less chances at the ball.
Also, the interview mechanic is hilarious -- you have to recite the right sports platitudes in the right order to win, like "Um, 110%, the better team won, all down to the lads."
posted by Rock Steady at 9:18 PM on August 18, 2012 [3 favorites]
Note that during matches you can adjust your "work rate" which lets you burn energy a bit slower in exchange for less chances at the ball.
Also, the interview mechanic is hilarious -- you have to recite the right sports platitudes in the right order to win, like "Um, 110%, the better team won, all down to the lads."
posted by Rock Steady at 9:18 PM on August 18, 2012 [3 favorites]
Jeff Kick-Soccer is actually doing well, but the press is very concerned that he does not have a woman. Like, very concerned.
posted by gc at 10:33 PM on August 18, 2012
posted by gc at 10:33 PM on August 18, 2012
However, progress is painfully slow - am I doing something wrong? Is there anything I'm supposed to do to recharge energy besides buy drinks?
It took a long time for the hint message to pop up, but buying dwellings increases your energy recharge between games.
Also, after the season, you can renegotiate with other clubs from anywhere in the world; there's a high/low guessing game you play that increases your salary. You can keep negotiating with other clubs until you max out the game. (Assuming you don't care about signing with WOXTRN over DRYOGH.)
And I think that the meta-strategy for advancement is to concentrate on improving skills as much as possible, essentially everytime you can afford an energy drink, go and drill your skills.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:50 AM on August 19, 2012
It took a long time for the hint message to pop up, but buying dwellings increases your energy recharge between games.
Also, after the season, you can renegotiate with other clubs from anywhere in the world; there's a high/low guessing game you play that increases your salary. You can keep negotiating with other clubs until you max out the game. (Assuming you don't care about signing with WOXTRN over DRYOGH.)
And I think that the meta-strategy for advancement is to concentrate on improving skills as much as possible, essentially everytime you can afford an energy drink, go and drill your skills.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 2:50 AM on August 19, 2012
I'm seeing the android version as 2.49 Euro. Have I missed something, or is this geographically determined?
posted by pompomtom at 4:12 AM on August 19, 2012
posted by pompomtom at 4:12 AM on August 19, 2012
I messed up as per my first comment. It's not free - I had purchased it and forgotten about it. I contacted the mods for an edit but received no reply.
posted by ersatz at 5:05 AM on August 19, 2012
posted by ersatz at 5:05 AM on August 19, 2012
I contacted the mods for an edit but received no reply.
They are all currently in a tie for the league, a relegation battle, and a quest for silverware, respectively.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 8:04 AM on August 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
They are all currently in a tie for the league, a relegation battle, and a quest for silverware, respectively.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 8:04 AM on August 19, 2012 [4 favorites]
After playing in my browser all day yesterday, I went ahead and got the Android version (my first purchased app ever!) and my only complaint is that my big fat fingers get in the way of seeing my dude when I try to intercept the ball. You don't have to touch your dude, though, you can start him moving then drag your finger into a space so you can see him better.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 8:07 AM on August 19, 2012
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 8:07 AM on August 19, 2012
Is there a easy-to-reference database of what all these team abbreviations are? I'm building a pretty compelling narrative around the exploits of this plucky young American footballer who happens to share my name, and now that I've he's moved from MLS to the Premiere League, it's important for me to know whose hopes he is crushing in Europa League. FCK? HIF? PELSTR?
posted by Rock Steady at 9:41 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Rock Steady at 9:41 AM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Owning property will recharge your energy after matches.
posted by pixie at 11:16 AM on August 19, 2012
posted by pixie at 11:16 AM on August 19, 2012
Dude, am I the only person that downloaded
The 3 matches in 24 hours free version of this fucking game?
/Walter Sobchak cocking a pistol
posted by vozworth at 5:55 PM on August 19, 2012
The 3 matches in 24 hours free version of this fucking game?
/Walter Sobchak cocking a pistol
posted by vozworth at 5:55 PM on August 19, 2012
Killer McGoo has a contract with Man U! (Now, if I can get better at controlling him via my keyboard...0
posted by govtdrone at 5:56 PM on August 19, 2012
posted by govtdrone at 5:56 PM on August 19, 2012
I've been playing this for months! So glad to be ahead of a curve for once.
My one big quibble is that I wish that there was better and better gear rather than more and more expensive energy drinks. The drinks become ludicrously expensive after a few seasons.
While I'm whining, I'd also like to see more accomplishments, as the majority are pretty easily attained.
Finally, there isn't a great deal of challenge once you've reached max skill level. But, I suppose that's how it should be. It's just that I reached those levels by about age 20 or something, so there's not much to look forward to.
posted by Phreesh at 3:27 PM on August 20, 2012
My one big quibble is that I wish that there was better and better gear rather than more and more expensive energy drinks. The drinks become ludicrously expensive after a few seasons.
While I'm whining, I'd also like to see more accomplishments, as the majority are pretty easily attained.
Finally, there isn't a great deal of challenge once you've reached max skill level. But, I suppose that's how it should be. It's just that I reached those levels by about age 20 or something, so there's not much to look forward to.
posted by Phreesh at 3:27 PM on August 20, 2012
Arsey arseing arse. My first ever Champions League match with my new club (Barça) and we are leading Bayern Munich 2-0 (1 goal and 1 assist for me) and fucking Germans score 4 goals after the 79th minute! 4! Goals! Did my keeper fall asleep?
posted by Rock Steady at 4:08 PM on August 20, 2012
posted by Rock Steady at 4:08 PM on August 20, 2012
Can someone tell me what happiness is good for?
You know, in the game.
posted by 256 at 4:49 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
You know, in the game.
posted by 256 at 4:49 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
I curse the OP as since this was posted I have become hopelessly addicted to this game. Even my daughter, owner of several virtual pets, laughs at me.
posted by cell divide at 4:54 PM on August 20, 2012
posted by cell divide at 4:54 PM on August 20, 2012
If it's low, the press will start to comment on it. Presumably your boss, teammates, the fans, or all three start to will hate you for being sad.
posted by cmoj at 4:54 PM on August 20, 2012
posted by cmoj at 4:54 PM on August 20, 2012
So, I don't know about this soccer game y'all are talking about, but I'm really enjoying the racehorse manager game linked in the OP.
posted by 256 at 10:12 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by 256 at 10:12 AM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
256: "So, I don't know about this soccer game y'all are talking about, but I'm really enjoying the racehorse manager game linked in the OP."
I totally just bought my first horse, and now I'm all, "Manchester derby? Champions League semi? World Cup qualifier? Leave me alone, don't you know I've got a filly running in the fifth!"
posted by Rock Steady at 11:01 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
I totally just bought my first horse, and now I'm all, "Manchester derby? Champions League semi? World Cup qualifier? Leave me alone, don't you know I've got a filly running in the fifth!"
posted by Rock Steady at 11:01 AM on August 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
The only reason I play soccer any more is so that I can afford to pay my horse trainers.
posted by 256 at 12:09 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by 256 at 12:09 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
256: "The only reason I play soccer any more is so that I can afford to pay my horse trainers."
Becks? Is that you?
posted by Rock Steady at 12:12 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Becks? Is that you?
posted by Rock Steady at 12:12 PM on August 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Fuck, I got like zero work done the first couple of days with this, but it's fun as hell. I've slowly moved up from scumfuck British clubs to the Premier League, where I finally was able to maintain a winning season. I do wonder if the clubs themselves are weighted like their real counterparts — I spent a season and a half at Hull C and we'd get to first but my teammates (and me, often) would fuck up and plunge to seventh or so. I got bought by Man U and it's been nothing but gravy, with my teammates actually bailing me out from time to time. We won the Premiere Cup last season along with the FA Cup. I'm kinda wondering — since I don't know that much about soccer — outside of the World Cup, what else is there to win? I mean, if this was a real career, I'd care about threepeats and shit, but since I think I can pretty much keep doing this forever, what should the next step be?
posted by klangklangston at 5:29 PM on August 23, 2012
posted by klangklangston at 5:29 PM on August 23, 2012
outside of the World Cup, what else is there to win?
If you finish in the top three of the Premiere League, you qualify for the Champions League next year, which is a sort of pan-European Super League.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:46 PM on August 23, 2012
If you finish in the top three of the Premiere League, you qualify for the Champions League next year, which is a sort of pan-European Super League.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:46 PM on August 23, 2012
Yeah, winning the Champions League is the only real carrot left keeping me in the game.
Though, once I accomplish that, I'm sure I'll just start a new career.
posted by 256 at 7:28 PM on August 23, 2012
Though, once I accomplish that, I'm sure I'll just start a new career.
posted by 256 at 7:28 PM on August 23, 2012
Though I haven't yet managed to top the Premier League table, my Manchester City side has managed to finish second twice (damned Newcastle United has just crushed it these past few years), and I've won the League Cup, the FA Cup, the Europa League and the Champions League. Most gratifyingly, the USA have just won the 2018 World Cup over France. My thoroughbred stable is... less impressive.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:41 PM on August 27, 2012
posted by Rock Steady at 12:41 PM on August 27, 2012
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posted by ersatz at 11:29 AM on August 18, 2012