Send an automatic email after you're dead.

November 19, 2001 9:29 AM

Send an automatic email after you're dead. I'm composing mine right now.
posted by swift (29 comments total)

Wow. This explanation on the site seems accurate; first reaction is "ugh...how morose" (or macabre). After a minute, though, it seemed to make sense. I'd wager that the biggest users will be those who are about to embark on an airplane trip.

Very interesting link - thanks swift.
posted by davidmsc at 9:44 AM on November 19, 2001

well, i have made it to the other side and let me tell you all about it.

[1034: Mysql table error. Database corrupted]
posted by chrisroberts at 9:45 AM on November 19, 2001

Great idea! To harvest e-mail addresses... Has anybody checked the owners out?
posted by costas at 10:17 AM on November 19, 2001

...and social security numbers.

Not saying these people are planning a massive fake id/stolen identity raquet, but I don't want my social security number in a Family Owned Database.
posted by tomorama at 10:32 AM on November 19, 2001

Is anybody else disturbed by the idea that they think a message to your loved ones after you die can be patented?

I'd better find some other mediums that people might use for a last message and patent those real quick too...
posted by johnmunsch at 10:36 AM on November 19, 2001

I want to patent emailing people before you die. That's a real killer app, you know.
posted by mattpfeff at 10:40 AM on November 19, 2001

I actually think that this might be used by people about to commit suicide, but if this company is going to spam their loved ones maybe they'll think twice.
posted by jeffvc at 10:42 AM on November 19, 2001

Wow, that is just really... creepy. Isn't this what wills are supposed to be for?
posted by dansays at 10:46 AM on November 19, 2001

Smells like pud.
posted by PWA_BadBoy at 10:50 AM on November 19, 2001

Dead Man's Switch is another alternative. I haven't used it much (ha), but I'm pretty sure you can script it so that it'll post to MeFi when the inevitable occurs.
posted by Kikkoman at 10:59 AM on November 19, 2001

Why?
posted by yesster at 11:14 AM on November 19, 2001

Love those heart-tugging snippets integrated into the graphics, each carefully handwritten:

"...miss you so much..."
"...on that special day together..."
"...only knew how much I care..."

Yep, your friends and family are going to get that same personal touch from an e-mail from Loving Pup, Inc. (patent pending).

I find their implementation stomach-turning, not the concept itself.
posted by delapohl at 11:15 AM on November 19, 2001

What did they do with Douglas Adams' e-mail in which he specified "no posthumous publication"?
posted by Carol Anne at 11:29 AM on November 19, 2001

carol:

ignored it, probably. if it's not in his last will and testament, i don't think that his instructions are legally binding.
posted by moz at 11:40 AM on November 19, 2001

I'd set it up with the old standby: "I told you I was sick."

Or maybe "Planning to harass all of you through that Crossing Over charlatan."
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:41 AM on November 19, 2001

Smells like pud.

Looks like it took in excess of 45 minutes to get the site coded and running... Can't be Mr. Kaplan's handiwork.
posted by KLAX at 11:43 AM on November 19, 2001

i was simply going to say "hi, i'm in hell, and you're next"
posted by quarsan at 11:43 AM on November 19, 2001

hmmm

quarsan....quonsar....separated at birth?
posted by Kafkaesque at 11:51 AM on November 19, 2001

Smells like a scam to me. They don't say HOW they will find out I'm dead, but they suggest that it will somehow come via my Social Security Number: until your Social Security Number is released by the United States Government we have very few reliable ways to guarantee that we are keeping your trust and our guarantee of confidentiality

I work for Social Security and we don't "release" Social Security Numbers after death. We don't even necessarily know a person has died, unless some kind of benefit is being paid or will be payable. Wonder what they really plan on doing with that SSN and my personal info...
posted by rbgilbert at 12:05 PM on November 19, 2001

My email...

Dear xxxxx:

I've got some good news and bad news. The good news is that the afterlife is even better than anyone imagined! Free beer, gorgeous babes, 1000 channels of the best tv in history, and all your former pets waiting for you in your otherworldly mansion when you arrive! Better yet, all your friends are here! It's been one huge party after another. And the golf courses are fantastic! They leave Augusta standing, there's never any waiting, and greens fees are waived for eternity! In fact, me and two other guys are playing tomorrow morning.

The bad news: you're completing the foursome.

:)
posted by UncleFes at 12:07 PM on November 19, 2001

Mine:

To whom it may concern,

I'm dead. Currently, I am a casualty, a caracss, a corpse, a victim, a zombie. I am post-obitum. I have ceased-to-be. I am deceased, demised, departed, dissolved, at my eternal rest, frolicking in the happy hunting grounds. I've taken my last breath, I'm in my last sleep, in quietus, extinct, croaked, expired, fallen, dropped, sunk, given up the ghost, I've joined my ancestors, kicked the bucket, lost my life, succumbed, passed on. I am defunct, inanimate, the late swift, lifeless, inert. I have met my doom.

Please pick up my mail.

Thanks
-swift
posted by swift at 12:29 PM on November 19, 2001

Dear fuckers,

Those terrorists were right. But I think the government was lying to you, because I am currently surrounded by 57 sexy virgins.

Best Regards,

Uncle Derek
posted by trioperative at 1:02 PM on November 19, 2001

Looks like it took in excess of 45 minutes to get the site coded and running... Can't be Mr. Kaplan's handiwork.

Knew I'd get misinterpreted there. I meant it'll be showing up on FC soon.
posted by PWA_BadBoy at 1:42 PM on November 19, 2001

This is the output of the app that posts to Metafilter after I died...
posted by websavvy at 4:39 PM on November 19, 2001

Yeesh. I had this same idea forever ago, and registered iDied.com to do it. Then I saw Final Thoughts and saw that they were doing the same thing, and sold the domain to them. I seriously doubt either FinalThoughts or TimelessMail is going to get many clients, though.
posted by endquote at 4:59 PM on November 19, 2001

Isn't this whole thing just a take on the video idea from Things to Do In Denver When You're Dead starring a young Andy Garcia... and of Course, Steve Buscemi?
posted by drezdn at 5:09 PM on November 19, 2001

heh. I was just reminded of a really funny sign I saw in a parking lot for a funeral home/cemetary:

Parking for customers only.
posted by mattpfeff at 5:18 PM on November 19, 2001

Dear whom it may concern,

Although, I am dead now, let me tell you about this amazing offer that I discovered, As seen on NBC, CBS, CNN, and even Oprah! The health discovery that actually reverses aging while burning fat, without dieting or exercise! This proven discovery has even been reported on by the New England Journal of Medicine. Forget aging and dieting forever! And it's Guaranteed!

Just CLICK HERE!!
posted by fuq at 6:00 PM on November 19, 2001

I've decided to do this using existing technology. I'm just going to extend the "send all mail" parameter on my software to every 60 years.
posted by dhartung at 7:12 PM on November 19, 2001