With apologies to Ludwig.

February 18, 2013 10:24 AM

Once the home of the Weckquaesgeek tribe, and more recently, William Shatner, Hastings-on-Hudson might sound like the next village over from Downton Abbey, but according to the New York Times, it's "a village, in a Wittgensteinian sort of way" seeing an influx of ex-Brooklynites fleeing to the suburbs in the face of creeping real estate prices. Sure, these new hipsturbanites may miss the creative density of urban New York, but at least the river setting matches their Filson/woolrich heritage-brand aesthetic. Read on if you set your cultural compass to the Brooklyn Flea, or your NYT Style section appreciation to ironic twee.
posted by deludingmyself (26 comments total)

Wasn't this a Simpsons episode?
posted by elwoodwiles at 10:45 AM on February 18, 2013 [2 favorites]

Here, beside the gray-suited salarymen and four-door minivans, it is no longer unusual to see a heritage-clad novelist type with ironic mutton chops sipping shade-grown coffee at the patisserie, or hear 30-somethings in statement sneakers discuss their latest film project as they wait for the 9:06 to Grand Central.

Or find a New York Times feature writer copy-pasting caricatures into a trend piece on deadline.
posted by gompa at 10:47 AM on February 18, 2013 [13 favorites]

I thought all the hippies already fled to dying rust belt towns on the Hudson to raise chickens and grow weed in like, 1993? Plus all the alt-y-tech-y-i-have-plugs-in-my-ears-and-a-three-degrees-in-comp-sci running to rural areas cause they can work from anywhere? I mean this is hardly news.

Oh wait the Right Sort of people, like the kids of your pal at the tennis club are moving back to these places so that makes it news. It's it adorable, she makes wind-chimes out of discarded cigarette cartons and he plays theoretical glockenspiel, in that he theoretically plays it.
posted by The Whelk at 10:52 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

As usual the NYT Style section does not fail to exaggerate a trend into the annoyingosphere. I've explored this area a little and I'd love to live in this part of Westchester--it's mildly "vibrant" but not really seeing an influx of hipsters, no. It's still mostly upper middle class financial district commuter families looking for cute little houses near the Hudson river. It's just an expensive suburb where elements of indie culture (foodie restaurants, crafting, indie music) are creeping in like they are everywhere. Big whoop.

If the Times spent half as much effort purposefully enraging their readers about the migration of middle class and poor families being driven out by gentrification and disappearing rent controls into ignored boroughs and exurbs with crumbling infrastructure, a menacing police presence, and dwindling government assistance as they do about Where Hip*s Will Strike Next, maybe we'd have something to talk about besides cheese every now and then.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:52 AM on February 18, 2013 [3 favorites]

when was the last time you even saw gray-suited salarymen in Hudson Valley villages? It's rich enclaves, arty hippies, elderly Italians or working class hispanics who work at the first group's golf resorts.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 AM on February 18, 2013

"New York Times Style Section writer ventures twenty miles out of the city and lives to tell the exciting tale of his adventures among the natives"
posted by octothorpe at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [6 favorites]

Crooked Timber: Village Life: Top Ten Ways that Hastings-on-Hudson might be a Village in a Wittgensteinian Sense

A property is internal if it is unthinkable that its object does not possess it, and is located inside the line demarcated on the relevant county plat map page.

Feeding the duckrabbits is forbidden by local ordinance.

Whereof we cannot speak, thereof we must be silent after 10pm except on public holidays.

posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [9 favorites]

You rang?
posted by wittgenstein at 10:55 AM on February 18, 2013 [4 favorites]

Wait a second

Estimated median household income in 2009: $117,812 (it was $83,188 in 2000)
Hastings-on-Hudson:

$117,812
New York:

$54,659

Estimated median house or condo value in 2009: $671,485 (it was $372,700 in 2000)
Hastings-on-Hudson:

$671,485
New York:

$306,000
Mean prices in 2009: All housing units: $716,939; Detached houses: $802,364; Townhouses or other attached units: $746,909; In 2-unit structures: $575,938; In 3-to-4-unit structures: $419,080; In 5-or-more-unit structures: $196,919

Median gross rent in 2009: $1,227.

I seem to remember Hastings-On-Hudson as where quite a few seinor editors for NYC-based magazines lived. So thier kids are coming back to town. Now it's a trend story.
posted by The Whelk at 10:56 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

Greg lets make a baby and name it Africa.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:57 AM on February 18, 2013

The thing to understand about HOH and other Westchester town's housing prices is that it's all about crazy high property tax supposedly to fund superior school systems. This is true everywhere obviously but they really take it to the extreme up there.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:01 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is quite possibly the most hilarious thing ever published by the NY Times.
posted by corpse at 11:03 AM on February 18, 2013

Fashionable young people doing the "We're moving to the suburbs, but not like that because it's a quaint little town in the Hudson Valley" was old news fifty years ago. This NYT writer gives the strong impression of having never set foot anywhere in the Northeast outside of New York City before having taken this assignment.
posted by enn at 11:04 AM on February 18, 2013

Can we rule out time travel?
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 AM on February 18, 2013

Unfortunately we can :C
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:08 AM on February 18, 2013

"a village, in a Wittgensteinian sort of way"

The villagers bear a family resemblance to one another?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:18 AM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]

...and that's #10 in the original link. (hangs head in shame)
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:19 AM on February 18, 2013

In retrospect, I think I really should've titled this post "Feeding the duckrabbits is forbidden by local ordinance."
posted by deludingmyself at 11:19 AM on February 18, 2013

Wittgensteinian in the sense that it is a village that is benefits from a plethora of deductions.
posted by srboisvert at 12:06 PM on February 18, 2013

At some point, linked to this article, is a selection of places to go. It includes the business of some friends of mine. That's my disclaimer, hope it works okay.

Nyack

Scruffy bohemians cross the Tappan Zee Bridge into Rockland County to find all the comforts of Brooklyn: a farmers’ market, haute doughnuts covered in maple bacon from Gypsy Donut and Espresso Bar, and Blue Bottle Coffee from the Art Café.

We've been joking about the 'scruffy bohemians' phrase rather exuberantly. Scruffy. Bohemians. what!?
posted by sciencegeek at 12:38 PM on February 18, 2013

Huh? There are heaps of bohos and bobos who love beards these days, at least in my hipster enclave. It's basically a sexual fetish. Did you miss The Beards band or the Beard Wars show or Kesha's beard blog?

Scruffy is an understatement.

The Times just discovered gifs.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 1:40 PM on February 18, 2013

This article seems to hate every type of person.
posted by the jam at 3:45 PM on February 18, 2013

I was disappointed to read that hipsturbia has apparently stopped short of my home town of Peekskill. Poor Peekskill, still the armpit of Westchester County.
posted by DiscourseMarker at 4:13 PM on February 18, 2013

peekskill: asymptotically approaching hipsterdom
posted by sciencegeek at 4:47 PM on February 18, 2013

Peekskill- home of 'Facts of Life' school! What could top that!
posted by bquarters at 6:10 PM on February 18, 2013

Just another case where you mutter " not my demo" and move on.
posted by The Whelk at 10:33 AM on February 19, 2013