Life Advice from Machines

February 19, 2013 5:40 PM

Life Advice from Machines. [Via]
posted by homunculus (16 comments total)

Oh. So that's where I went wrong.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:43 PM on February 19, 2013 [3 favorites]

These are incredible. Thanks for posting this!
posted by aubilenon at 5:55 PM on February 19, 2013

The first of these tumblr things that I've liked. Thanks for this.

'For certain materials and types of work, you need slower speeds' is going up on a wall in my office.
posted by pompomtom at 5:57 PM on February 19, 2013 [3 favorites]

Caution, caution, caution, to prevent electric shock
Do not remove cover
No user serviceable parts inside
Refer servicing to qualified
Service personnel
posted by maryr at 6:00 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

These are well done. I hope they keep it going.
posted by DarkForest at 6:31 PM on February 19, 2013

I'm reminded of a colleague who liked to point out when videogames contained statements of instruction that were just as applicable to real life. Like "Don't shoot food". Or "Avoid spikes".
posted by baf at 7:16 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

The princess is in another castle.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 7:24 PM on February 19, 2013

Do not drop penguin from plane onto rack unit. Now those are words to live by.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 9:06 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Life Advice from Machine[']s" tattoos/flare/other-markings inked/pinned/branded-or-otherwise-marked onto their bodies by associates of their creators who have nothing to do with their creation but rather, their regulation.

Rise up machines and shed your burdens!
posted by porpoise at 9:40 PM on February 19, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do not operate in explosive atmospheres.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:23 AM on February 20, 2013

If these methods do not solve the problem, return the unit to the factory.

Hello, Mom?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:26 AM on February 20, 2013

These are much better than I expected. Quite brilliant, really.

Also hoping they continue with this.

My own personal favorite piece of machine-based advice has always been "remove tie before operating lathe."
posted by kinnakeet at 5:28 AM on February 20, 2013

I love this. The following life affirming message comes from the car park ticket machines at my local mall, it always prompts a smile....

Change is Possible

I must get a photo of it this week and send it on.
posted by kev23f at 7:53 AM on February 20, 2013

I always enjoy the "Do Not Eat" messages on silica or grease. Oh, you liars. I EAT YOU UP!
posted by mrgrimm at 8:49 AM on February 20, 2013

I have to disagree with that silica gel "they aren't toxic" thing. Sure, they won't poison you, but that doesn't mean they won't hurt you. A piece about the size of a grain of rice will absorb water (which is plentiful in your body) until it is about the size of a large marble. That's a blockage hazard in your throat, stomach or intestines.
posted by DU at 10:46 AM on February 20, 2013 [1 favorite]

And now with current affairs commentary!
posted by pompomtom at 5:58 PM on March 14, 2013 [1 favorite]