177. erotically denying them use of a line in a google doc
June 10, 2013 7:30 PM   Subscribe

Tired of the standard baseball metaphors for sex? Here’s 300 queer as fuck bases.

Sports-related sexual metaphors previously.
posted by NoraReed (11 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite


 
Love it. Makes me wish I had a partner just so we could make a completist project out of going through one of these each day.

"Make sure you get home from work on time today, boo...I'm going to be pulling gems out of your heart with your name on the gems."
posted by threeants at 7:36 PM on June 10, 2013


I think this list is out of order.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 7:37 PM on June 10, 2013


Just for people who are wondering - this is a list of acts, but there are no accompanying dirty baseball euphemisms. (Siiigh)
posted by LobsterMitten at 7:46 PM on June 10, 2013


267. punching through a cake so hard your hand emerges covered in blood and frosting

this speaks to me much more than all those things involving genitals
posted by solarion at 7:49 PM on June 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


267a. Cake Fisting. The frosting always comes first.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 8:23 PM on June 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


toxic waste roleplay

Hope they're playing Coachella next year.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:31 PM on June 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


> 13. NOSE KISSIES

NOSIEBOPS. Don't ask. I'LL OFFER.
posted by egypturnash at 9:36 PM on June 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


185 surgically adding a brainhole
249 “finding the gems” in cutie’s ass canal

Shut It Down!
posted by QueerAngel28 at 6:36 AM on June 11, 2013


> 110. drinking tea filtered through painted toenails

I do not understand this and it frightens me.
posted by Panjandrum at 6:45 AM on June 11, 2013


The linked Wikipedia article used to be a great source for all kinds of bizarre extensions of the metaphor---before they were deleted. Luckily an intrepid editor has pulled them out of the revision history here.
posted by rossmeissl at 7:09 AM on June 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


THAT IS NOT HOW BASEBALL WORKS!
posted by klangklangston at 10:08 AM on June 11, 2013


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