On being short.
October 22, 2013 6:57 PM Subscribe
I will pay good money to be the guy that serves that person their next meal, when they are hungry, and it is the ONE piece of meat they just love to eat....and I will hold it just out of reach, and I will laugh...
...and then I will give it to the dog.
posted by HuronBob at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [18 favorites]
...and then I will give it to the dog.
posted by HuronBob at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [18 favorites]
If only his paw had taste buds.
posted by shortyJBot at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by shortyJBot at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013
...and then I will give it to the dog.
On Dog Youtube this is known as "ultimate man tease".
posted by codacorolla at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
On Dog Youtube this is known as "ultimate man tease".
posted by codacorolla at 7:05 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
Usually you only see that expression on the face of a starlet in a horror movie that does whatever the crazy psycho wants her to so she can survive, and you know her resolve has just kicked in and she will take him DOWN by the end of the film.
posted by Windigo at 7:12 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by Windigo at 7:12 PM on October 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
When we were in NYC this spring, we stayed with some people who had a chihuahua/dachshund mix. The dog absolutely luuuuurved us.
We were hanging out on the bed one afternoon in between adventures, and she reallyreallyreally wanted to hang out on the bed with us, but due to her stature, wan't quite able to get the lift necessary to hop up.
She proceeded to do the same thing the pom was doing in the video, incorporated into a long back-and-forth dance all along the side of the bed. So the front paws were going patpatpat along the mattress, and the back paws were all cha-cha-cha on the floor.
I think there might be a short video of this somewhere, but it is not on any of my devices.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
We were hanging out on the bed one afternoon in between adventures, and she reallyreallyreally wanted to hang out on the bed with us, but due to her stature, wan't quite able to get the lift necessary to hop up.
She proceeded to do the same thing the pom was doing in the video, incorporated into a long back-and-forth dance all along the side of the bed. So the front paws were going patpatpat along the mattress, and the back paws were all cha-cha-cha on the floor.
I think there might be a short video of this somewhere, but it is not on any of my devices.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
ADORABLE!!!!
This video left me feeling all warm and fuzzy. Until it ended and the Youtube recommended video was a gigantic close-up of a blackhead covered nose. WHY!! WHY!?!?!? WHY!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
posted by pravit at 7:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
This video left me feeling all warm and fuzzy. Until it ended and the Youtube recommended video was a gigantic close-up of a blackhead covered nose. WHY!! WHY!?!?!? WHY!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
posted by pravit at 7:25 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
what the fuck is the top featured video oh my god
how am i supposed to enjoy this adorable dog when there is a blackheaded nostril closeup
posted by elizardbits at 7:26 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
how am i supposed to enjoy this adorable dog when there is a blackheaded nostril closeup
posted by elizardbits at 7:26 PM on October 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
THANKS OBAMA
posted by elizardbits at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [12 favorites]
Yeah, I got that too, I can't figure out why.
But then, another version of the video gave me Anderson Cooper and the term "Booouvre" so...
posted by maryr at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
But then, another version of the video gave me Anderson Cooper and the term "Booouvre" so...
posted by maryr at 7:27 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Ditto on the blackhead nostril thing. Fuuuuuh.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:30 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 7:30 PM on October 22, 2013
I remember an episode of the Upright Citizens Brigade where, in their mission to jam culture, Adair had invented some sort of "denying the dog a slice of bologna and getting it worked up" type of fetish video. I'm glad to see that reality has finally caught up to the UCB.
posted by not_on_display at 7:51 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by not_on_display at 7:51 PM on October 22, 2013
Pom wants a fry
(did I just self link a cute puppy video to metafilter? Apparently.)
posted by alikins at 8:12 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
(did I just self link a cute puppy video to metafilter? Apparently.)
posted by alikins at 8:12 PM on October 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
I finally haz a snausage.
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:31 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:31 PM on October 22, 2013
Just wait, some joker will put that black head nostril on the sausage licking Pomeranian.
posted by quazichimp at 8:57 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by quazichimp at 8:57 PM on October 22, 2013
Once I noticed the pom's eyelids, I couldn't stop looking at them.
posted by ignignokt at 8:57 PM on October 22, 2013
posted by ignignokt at 8:57 PM on October 22, 2013
OMG, I just made the idiotic choice of clicking on the black head clip!
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
posted by quazichimp at 9:02 PM on October 22, 2013
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
WARNING DO NOT CLICK
posted by quazichimp at 9:02 PM on October 22, 2013
louche mustachio, "...front paws were going patpatpat along the mattress, and the back paws were all cha-cha-cha on the floor"
"...it is not on any of my devices"
Are there simply no consequences for posting something like this?
posted by Anitanola at 9:36 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
"...it is not on any of my devices"
Are there simply no consequences for posting something like this?
posted by Anitanola at 9:36 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I can see the .gif version in my mind's "What Should We Call Me Grad School" tumblr already. Maybe "Getting positive feedback from my advisor"? Or "When I'm one piece of data away from graduating"?
posted by en forme de poire at 10:17 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by en forme de poire at 10:17 PM on October 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
No nostrils on viewing either clip. So there's that.
posted by Samizdata at 10:50 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Samizdata at 10:50 PM on October 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I started watching this and then started crying because I felt so bad for the dog who wanted the sausage, and then the dog got the sausage and I started crying harder. I think it's bedtime.
posted by MeghanC at 11:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by MeghanC at 11:14 PM on October 22, 2013 [11 favorites]
Is it just me or does this dog look like a fake dog? I think it's the tappatappa of the nails with the freakishly gigantic, improbably large eyes. It might be a robot.
posted by NoraReed at 1:32 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by NoraReed at 1:32 AM on October 23, 2013
A cat would just stick out it's claws and hook the sausage. Actually no, a cat would just jump right up into the plate of sausages you can see in the wide shot. In summary: why is the person hand being so mean to that cute doggy?
posted by shelleycat at 1:39 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by shelleycat at 1:39 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Very cute. Lasts just over a minute too, so the dog doesn't go hungry for very long. Not that he starts eating the sausage right away, either - just goes under the table with it entirely in his mouth.
I thought the moving of the sausage was giving the dog a chance to achieve his own reward. A 'it's tastier if you've worked to get it yourself' kind of deal.
posted by gadge emeritus at 2:22 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
I thought the moving of the sausage was giving the dog a chance to achieve his own reward. A 'it's tastier if you've worked to get it yourself' kind of deal.
posted by gadge emeritus at 2:22 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
I did't get The Nose.
(But I have probably seen it. I was sorta-working-up an idea about zit squeezing and primate grooming, so did actually go looking on Youtube for videos of all that. There are a lot. One contained the line "One fell on the floor, and a mollusc ate it". Unless you are a professional dermatologist, I strongly recommend sticking to the cute dogz vidz. Very strongly. No, stronger than that.)
posted by Devonian at 3:14 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
(But I have probably seen it. I was sorta-working-up an idea about zit squeezing and primate grooming, so did actually go looking on Youtube for videos of all that. There are a lot. One contained the line "One fell on the floor, and a mollusc ate it". Unless you are a professional dermatologist, I strongly recommend sticking to the cute dogz vidz. Very strongly. No, stronger than that.)
posted by Devonian at 3:14 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is me writing that award winning script. Except for the ending.
posted by qinn at 3:49 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by qinn at 3:49 AM on October 23, 2013
They've bred that dog to be so cute, it barely has any survival skills left. Eventually, there will be a breed that will only be able to lay on a pillow and make adorable little noises. You'll need to feed it with a bottle and it will wear a diaper. Can you imagine?
posted by orme at 5:45 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by orme at 5:45 AM on October 23, 2013
One of our neighbors used to have a pomeranian. It was like living across the street from Fizzgig 24/7. I was especially amused by the pup's adversarial relationship with the bulldogs next door to him, who rarely seemed to acknowledge his existence.
posted by pxe2000 at 6:16 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by pxe2000 at 6:16 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
i'm 5'1". this is me every day trying to get things out of my kitchen cabinets because i'm too lazy to grab a chair or step stool.
posted by misskaz at 7:22 AM on October 23, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by misskaz at 7:22 AM on October 23, 2013 [5 favorites]
My dog's version of this:
DOG: [sees food on table. Stands on two legs, stretches, determines he can not reach]
DOG: [looks at human, establishes eye contact] bark
HUMAN: [ignores Dog]
DOG: [walks to side of table, eyes stay on Human] Bark. [stomps feet] BARK.
HUMAN:[looks at dog] Enough.
DOG: [walks 2 dog-steps closer to Human] BARK! BARK!! [stomps feet] [wags tail, while engaging in staring contest with Human] [walks two dog-steps closer] BARK!!!
HUMAN: Enough barking, dog. Knock it off.
DOG: EEEEeeeeEEEEEE (my approximation of the most awful, annoying, loudest non-bark whining ever) [stares at Human] EEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEE woof
HUMAN: Sigh, fine. Take it. [hands dog food].
posted by Fig at 7:54 AM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
DOG: [sees food on table. Stands on two legs, stretches, determines he can not reach]
DOG: [looks at human, establishes eye contact] bark
HUMAN: [ignores Dog]
DOG: [walks to side of table, eyes stay on Human] Bark. [stomps feet] BARK.
HUMAN:[looks at dog] Enough.
DOG: [walks 2 dog-steps closer to Human] BARK! BARK!! [stomps feet] [wags tail, while engaging in staring contest with Human] [walks two dog-steps closer] BARK!!!
HUMAN: Enough barking, dog. Knock it off.
DOG: EEEEeeeeEEEEEE (my approximation of the most awful, annoying, loudest non-bark whining ever) [stares at Human] EEEEEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEE woof
HUMAN: Sigh, fine. Take it. [hands dog food].
posted by Fig at 7:54 AM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
I had to haul myself out of my sick bed multiple times yesterday to take stuff away from one of our dogs that he'd stolen off the kitchen counter, out of the kitchen sink, and off the top of the baker's rack. We're lucky he hasn't figured out how to get the food on top of the fridge. Yet.
It's obviously time to rethink my "big dogs only" policy and trade them all in for some poms.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:01 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's obviously time to rethink my "big dogs only" policy and trade them all in for some poms.
posted by Squeak Attack at 8:01 AM on October 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Man, that dog's face for some uncanny valley reason creeps me the fuck out. Also: after all that work the dog deserved a much bigger treat, video people.
posted by Iosephus at 8:39 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by Iosephus at 8:39 AM on October 23, 2013
In summary: why is the person hand being so mean to that cute doggy?
Holden: "The dog stares at the sausage, and paws at the table. It gets hungrier and hungrier. It wants the sausage, but it can't reach it, not without your help. But you're not helping."
Leon: "What do you mean, I'm not helping?"
Holden: "I mean- you're not helping. Why is that, Leon?"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:02 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
Holden: "The dog stares at the sausage, and paws at the table. It gets hungrier and hungrier. It wants the sausage, but it can't reach it, not without your help. But you're not helping."
Leon: "What do you mean, I'm not helping?"
Holden: "I mean- you're not helping. Why is that, Leon?"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:02 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
I think the dog soon forgot about the harrowing experience, so no harm no foul.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:14 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by KokuRyu at 9:14 AM on October 23, 2013
In summary: why is the person hand being so mean to that cute doggy?
Dogs are bottomless pits of "want" and "need." I love 'em, but unless they're asleep, they're always mooning after something or other. A few seconds delay in getting a treat is a blip on their endless hankering.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:31 AM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
Dogs are bottomless pits of "want" and "need." I love 'em, but unless they're asleep, they're always mooning after something or other. A few seconds delay in getting a treat is a blip on their endless hankering.
posted by Squeak Attack at 9:31 AM on October 23, 2013 [3 favorites]
Pomeranians: Not as useful as a real dog and not as dignified as a cat.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:30 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by entropicamericana at 10:30 AM on October 23, 2013 [4 favorites]
I love the hungry dog! On the other hand..."Boohaha?" How does Anderson Cooper stand himself?
posted by naoko at 11:35 AM on October 23, 2013
posted by naoko at 11:35 AM on October 23, 2013
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