Suck it, Amazon and your stupid drones!

December 2, 2013 6:07 PM

Waterstones announces their Ornithological Waterstones Landing Service, a brand new way to receive your favourite books. Per the FAQ: Q. Isn’t this just what they did in Harry Potter? A: Yes, this is exactly what they did in Harry Potter. You’re asking that as if this is a bad thing
posted by scolbath (27 comments total)

It's classier than hexacopters, albeit perhaps less practical.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:18 PM on December 2, 2013

And not much less farfetched.
posted by nevercalm at 6:21 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Read the comments. Lol.
posted by fshgrl at 6:27 PM on December 2, 2013

First item in the FAQ:

Q. Isn’t this just what they did in Harry Potter?

A: Yes, this is exactly what they did in Harry Potter. You’re asking that as if this is a bad thing.
posted by Tomorrowful at 6:33 PM on December 2, 2013

(Also last line of FPP)
posted by maryr at 6:33 PM on December 2, 2013

From the comments (question from user, answer from Waterstones):

Presumably you'll use Snowy Owls in winter?

The use of Snowy Owls in winter is still being discussed. It boils down to a safety issue, namely how visible will our Snowy Owls be should we have a white Christmas? Particularly if they're carrying a copy of Quiet by Susan Cain (http://bit.ly/1cV3M2e) - which has an all white cover. A potential disaster right there. We'll let you know.

posted by maryr at 6:37 PM on December 2, 2013 [6 favorites]

Nicely done. Also, I won’t shoot the owls down and destroy them.
posted by bongo_x at 6:37 PM on December 2, 2013

As an Australian, I may not be able to take advantage of this service because in W.O.M.B.A.T. (Part Two - International Wizadry)

7-9. It is illegal to send mail-bearing owls across international borders unless the owl has been granted authorisation.
a. TRUE
b. FALSE

Boo!
posted by unliteral at 6:40 PM on December 2, 2013

Great. I just know this is going to raise the price I pay for my current dead mouse delivery service.
posted by benito.strauss at 6:40 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Unless the answer is b. Does anyone know the answer?
posted by unliteral at 6:43 PM on December 2, 2013

As an Australian, I may not be able to take advantage of this service because in W.O.M.B.A.T. (Part Two - International Wizadry)

I always assumed those things went International Portkey Post and were delivered by local owls for the last mile.
posted by immlass at 6:45 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

I always assumed those things went International Portkey Post
I think not. It took the Ministry months to set up just two hundred Portkeys around Britain.
posted by unliteral at 7:06 PM on December 2, 2013

That's how you do Marketing!
posted by bleep at 7:15 PM on December 2, 2013

O rly?
posted by unliteral at 7:20 PM on December 2, 2013

Just don't miss a payment, or your purchase will be repo'd by an eagle.
posted by homunculus at 7:27 PM on December 2, 2013

1. delivery only for boxes under 6 po9unds in weight: no pianos
2. no ringing bell, sign for it...hope no bad people where you live
3. and the famous Amazon return policy? do I have to have my own drone?
posted by Postroad at 7:28 PM on December 2, 2013

Needs more live owls.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:39 PM on December 2, 2013

But have they done a proper study of the carrying capacity of African vs. European owls?
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:41 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

(Also last line of FPP)

...can I recover some dignity by pointing out that failing to read part of an FPP about a bookstore is amusingly ironic?
posted by Tomorrowful at 8:23 PM on December 2, 2013 [1 favorite]

Finally, some competition for UnitedPigeonService
posted by islander at 8:46 PM on December 2, 2013 [2 favorites]

The NSA is currently training its own fleet of owls as I write, capable of posing as standard owls and reading your post and any book you buy. The budget for this is about 50 billionity dollars.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 9:49 PM on December 2, 2013

No no, the NSA wouldn't do that, silly. They're building a fleet of stealth hydrogen dirigibles with giant vacuum suckers to intercept the owls mid flight.
posted by ArkhanJG at 11:26 PM on December 2, 2013 [2 favorites]

Q: Will the owls be treated humanely?
A: Yes! Our owls will be loved by specially trained booksellers who will regularly feed the owls with love, affection and mice.

Nobody gonna love an old robocopter.
posted by a humble nudibranch at 12:04 AM on December 3, 2013

Watch our Press Manager Jon Owls introduce the O.W.L.S. project.
posted by ersatz at 4:42 AM on December 3, 2013

I just hope they're not delivering any parcels across the pond to the New New York of the 30th Century. I hear they have a real owl problem there.
posted by anthom at 5:48 AM on December 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Service Temporarily Unavailable
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Apache Server at www.waterstones.com Port 80

I think we crashed it.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:47 AM on December 3, 2013

No worries, the owl fell into a lake and was rescued by a kindly Finn.
posted by homunculus at 10:03 AM on December 3, 2013