"And for this, Australia, we are sorry."

January 9, 2014 11:21 PM

CSIRO apologises for lack of research on dragons, makes dragon.
posted by Mezentian (46 comments total)

I think this may be the best...metafilter fpp...EVER.
posted by happyroach at 11:38 PM on January 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

OK, that was the second martini talking, but seriously- why can't the American scientists manage to get good publicity like this?
posted by happyroach at 11:47 PM on January 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

For the non-Australians, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) is Australia's national science agency.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:50 PM on January 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

How cool. Those kids will probably have a life long love for science now.

I applied for a job once, when I first moved to Chicago, at this storefront toy store in Lincoln Square. One of the questions was: "What do you think about dragons?"

"It depends on what kind."
posted by IvoShandor at 11:51 PM on January 9, 2014 [1 favorite]

For the non-Australians, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO) is Australia's national science agency.

They also invented Wifi. If you like that sort of thing.
posted by Mezentian at 12:08 AM on January 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Of course, the one of the first things that the new government did when they got in was slash CSIRO funding.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:17 AM on January 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

They also invented Wifi.

And another daily use item, polymer banknotes. And many, many other things.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:20 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

And polymer banknotes.

Don't confuse the Americans and British.
posted by Mezentian at 12:22 AM on January 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Thanks CSIRO, now I'm going to have to somehow work dragons into my next ARC grant application...
posted by Jimbob at 12:24 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

May as well muck about when you're all about to be sacked for being insufficiently god-fearing.
posted by pompomtom at 12:34 AM on January 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

Thanks CSIRO, now I'm going to have to somehow work dragons into my next ARC grant application

J'accuse, Jimbob! I totally saw you use that same joke on Twitter, hours ago.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:35 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

[I don't really know why I'm j'accusing. It's not like it's plagarism or anything.]
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 12:39 AM on January 10, 2014

OK, that was the second martini talking

ok so this is like the...sixth? glass of wine talking and

I WANT A FUCKING DRAGON
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:32 AM on January 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

(that is, a dragon who is so badass you can only describe it as 'a fucking dragon,' not a dragon that just wants sex all the time because hello you are a dragon and your purpose is to make my enemies cry)
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:33 AM on January 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

J'accuse, Jimbob! I totally saw you use that same joke on Twitter, hours ago.

What, I'm supposed to come up with multiple jokes on a Friday afternoon? My union will be on your case.
posted by Jimbob at 1:33 AM on January 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

Argh!
posted by the painkiller at 1:45 AM on January 10, 2014

Boo.
posted by the painkiller at 1:46 AM on January 10, 2014

(that is, a dragon who is so badass you can only describe it as 'a fucking dragon,' not a dragon that just wants sex all the time because hello you are a dragon and your purpose is to make my enemies cry)

Well, I suppose your dragon could make your enemies cry when they contemplate the quality and quantity of sex the dragon is having....
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:48 AM on January 10, 2014

(that is, a dragon who is so badass you can only describe it as 'a fucking dragon,' not a dragon that just wants sex all the time because hello you are a dragon and your purpose is to make my enemies cry)

It could be both. I imagine that being fucked by a dragon would make most enemies cry.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 1:48 AM on January 10, 2014

well yes but the point is the firebreathing and the talons and the teeth and look seriously i don't think you really get what i'm going for here
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 1:58 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

feckless, I think what you want to do is to clarify "fucking" as an adjective as opposed to a verb, also I'd like one too
posted by solarion at 2:22 AM on January 10, 2014

I also want a dragon. Not a fucking one though. Not with all those claws etc.
posted by dg at 2:24 AM on January 10, 2014

I imagine that being fucked by a dragon would make most enemies cry.

Tears of joy. Dragons are renowned for their giving attitude and bedroom skills. You have to be willing to put up with a bedroom that is about 2/3 full of gold. but, other than being kind of chilly, there are worse boudoirs.

By the way, this story is pretty great, although I think a poor dragon named "Toothless" will get teased at dragon school. Unless it's one of those names like calling the big guy "Tiny."
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:44 AM on January 10, 2014 [6 favorites]

The icing on the cake for this is the video of the CSIRO tech playing with the dragon just after it's made - complete with flying and menacing "argggh!" sound effects.
posted by darkstar at 2:47 AM on January 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

Jimbob, can I please be your RA if the ARC goes through?
posted by b33j at 3:07 AM on January 10, 2014

By the way, this story is pretty great, although I think a poor dragon named "Toothless" will get teased at dragon school. Unless it's one of those names like calling the big guy "Tiny."

Yeah, it kind of is.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:28 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

So it's not just me, then, this was a rough first week back after summer holidays. Good to know.
posted by gingerest at 3:50 AM on January 10, 2014

Don't confuse the Americans and British.

The UK will get used to them soon enough. The US may take a little longer.
posted by zamboni at 4:38 AM on January 10, 2014

Now I want my own titanium 3-d printer.

So, I can make my own army of fucking dragons. (Using the adjective, not verb, form of "fucking," because an army of the latter would just be unseemly.)
posted by oddman at 5:44 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

why can't the American scientists manage to get good publicity like this?

They do.

I could actually do links all day on cool shit scientists do.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:46 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I now want my own live cell printer, so I can make my own army of LIVING dragons.

Also, dragon boyfriends are pretty awesome.
posted by happyroach at 7:12 AM on January 10, 2014 [3 favorites]

Toothless is basically a cat.
posted by maryr at 7:55 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was just hearing from some CSIRO astronomers (they run the Australia Telescope National Facility) about their funding woes with the new conservative government, and the dozens of small irritants that are being constantly added.

For example, I'm told that all international travel has to be approved by the CSIRO Chief Executive, above a certain minor threshold it needs approval from the Ministry, and beyond a slightly higher threshold, it needs to go to the Prime Minister's desk. The Prime Minister! has to personally! approve a trip for a dozen scientists to go to a conference. The net (intended) result is that scientists give up international travel, and that saves costs in the short term. (In the long run, of course, we're all dead.)

It's not a good climate for science in Australia right now, and if this provides a tiny glimmer of good publicity and support, more power to them.
posted by RedOrGreen at 8:22 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

"All her friends are now saying they want to be a scientist and Sophie says she now wants to work at CSIRO," Melissah told the Canberra Times.

"She's saying Australian scientists can do anything."

Brb crying
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:22 AM on January 10, 2014 [4 favorites]

Toothless is basically a cat.

A red tabby named Stufen to be precise.
posted by bonehead at 8:35 AM on January 10, 2014

Why is there no picture of said cat? What kind of shoddy journalism is this?
posted by maryr at 8:55 AM on January 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Prime Minister! has to personally! approve a trip for a dozen scientists to go to a conference.

This is what happens when the adults are in charge during this time of budget emergency.

BTW, I suspect the people behind the dragon will be checked up on for wasting funds.
posted by Mezentian at 9:03 AM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised the companies that make licensed plastic figures of children's characters haven't formed their own MPAA and gone ballistic about how 3D printers are the Boston Strangler.
posted by straight at 12:34 PM on January 10, 2014

I like the cut of that little girl's jib. This is just perfect. Dragons are the BEST.
posted by lazaruslong at 1:24 PM on January 10, 2014

I am a lone voice, crying in the outback, in support of the dragon that never was: Stuart the Hypothetical Boy Dragon. He would have been neat.

Just wait until I get my 3D titanium printer...
posted by bluejayway at 1:54 PM on January 10, 2014

The Prime Minister! has to personally! approve a trip for a dozen scientists to go to a conference.

This is what happens when the adults are in charge during this time of budget emergency.

Uh no. This is what happens when ideologues are trying to kill science and knowledge because an uninformed populace is more likely to vote for asshats. Plus all those pesky facts and environmental nonsense get in the way of cronies making money.

This is petty nickel and diming, not budgetary responsibility.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 2:11 PM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

The Prime Minister! has to personally! approve a trip for a dozen scientists to go to a conference. The net (intended) result is that scientists give up international travel, and that saves costs in the short term.

If I worked for CSIRO I'd be encouraging every colleague in sight to apply for international travel above the threshold, so that Abbott would have to spend his every waking hour personally reviewing their applications. Let's see, that's 6500 staff, and let's say 10 minutes to review each application... if everyone put one in every 3-4 months they could tie him up in paperwork indefinitely.
posted by rory at 3:10 PM on January 10, 2014 [2 favorites]

No, this is what happens when too many politicians get caught misusing the system, you may have heard of this if you read a newspaper in the last couple of months? Say what you want about the stupidity of the new travel approval requirements, it's not aimed at CSIRO or science.
posted by the agents of KAOS at 5:27 PM on January 10, 2014

It's likely not as complicated as you think. I've worked in the public service for almost a decade now (state and commonwealth) and seen a couple of changes in government. From that and from talking to older hands, it's something that happens every time the government changes. Pretty much every policy platform of every opposition is dependent on cost savings, either from a 'smaller government, less taxes' or a 'more government services for the same money' perspective. When election results are know and there is a change of government, the word goes out immediately to cease any hiring, delay 'non-essential travel' etc. This stays in place for varying periods, depending on how much the new government talks about cost-saving and, after a while, everyone forgets about it and life goes back to normal. Stopping international travel is a no-brainer because it's more likely to be tied to specific policy positions than domestic travel, which is almost all 'just doing business' stuff.

The idea that it has to be approved by the PM is just to make sure people only apply when it really is absolutely necessary - he likely won't actually approve or even see the requests personally. This happened when Mr Newman rose to power in Qld and, in both cases, is more a sign that the boss doesn't trust his ministers as much as anything, I think. In the case of Qld, the word went out long before the election because, well, the outcome was obvious long before the election.
posted by dg at 7:51 PM on January 10, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Adults in charge" and "budget emergency" are both quotes from Abbott administration officials during their campaign for election. That was an Aussie's wryly humourous observation, not a smug request to be schooled on the obvious.
posted by gingerest at 2:05 PM on January 11, 2014 [1 favorite]

There's no point sending Abbott thousands of travel requests, because he'll just outsource them to Ian Plimer or someone.
posted by Jimbob at 5:23 PM on January 11, 2014