When "Roses are red, violets are blue" just isn't going to cut it.

February 6, 2014 1:53 PM

Not got a way with words? PayPal has made available a number of working poets to write custom poems for your love, just in time for Valentine's Day.

After a brief interview over online chat, Poet Susie Sargent wrote this poem for me, about me. I told her that Valentine's Day could be hard on those of us who are single, and we have to do our best to love ourselves.

A Poem for Me

'Speaker', 'knitter', 'Chowhound' and
'Friend'
I am those things to others and what
about to me?

Logical and rational
Sometimes sarcastic or self-deprecating
Also brave and willing to try
I am many things

I embrace them all
as I embrace myself

posted by jacquilynne (16 comments total)

I am sympathetic to anything that involves giving money to poets (though that sample poem is, uh, not my favorite), but it occurs to me that actually doing this job would rate pretty high on the soul-crushing scale.
posted by whir at 2:01 PM on February 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I think it's pretty neat, basically the same thing as the "$5 poetry" tables you can find at most city parks and farmer's markets near most liberal arts universities, but this has some nice corporate sheen.

I've been really working on myself to not automatically dismiss things like this for being too precious, but damn, those scrolling photos of the poets and their typewriters makes it so hard.
posted by Think_Long at 2:09 PM on February 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

The poet I chatted with didn't seem to be all that soul-crushed, but I think this might be early going for this project, so it's possible that they will wilt in due time.
posted by jacquilynne at 2:17 PM on February 6, 2014

I am infinite, I contain platitudes.
posted by benzenedream at 2:17 PM on February 6, 2014 [23 favorites]

I don't hate PayPal more than I like the idea of this. And I hate PayPal a lot.
posted by griphus at 2:18 PM on February 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

This is the part I found most implausible about the plot of Her, so of course it is happening.
posted by Benjy at 2:34 PM on February 6, 2014 [4 favorites]

Of all predictions in the movie "Her", this is the one I wanted to come true the least. >:(

On preview: Curse you Benjy!
posted by One Second Before Awakening at 2:35 PM on February 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I'm sure they can knock these out like clockwork:

"My dearest Abigail,

You know that I come from Nantucket..."
posted by the sobsister at 2:35 PM on February 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Oh man I would totally pay someone to write my partner a really good customized dirty limerick.
posted by this is a thing at 2:58 PM on February 6, 2014

BeautifulHandWrittenLetters.com should sue them.
posted by intermod at 3:00 PM on February 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

this is a thing: You don't have to pay me. What are you looking for? I'll give you five filthy ones for free.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:03 PM on February 6, 2014

I'm sure they can knock these out like clockwork:"My dearest Abigail,You know that I come from Nantucket..."

I tried writing you a poem
But said "fuck it"
Here's a Christmas stocking from CVS
posted by littlesq at 3:16 PM on February 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I liked mine.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 4:09 PM on February 6, 2014

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.
posted by mrbigmuscles at 4:44 PM on February 6, 2014

So, uh, define "working poet. "
posted by dersins at 8:36 PM on February 6, 2014

One who's in good repair, and hasn't broken down or malfunctioned.
posted by this is a thing at 11:18 PM on February 6, 2014 [1 favorite]