"ensuring the financial security of this company for years to come"
February 23, 2014 7:48 AM Subscribe
"The way I interpret this video is a guy parked a car on a beach and a bunch of people are stealing it bit by bit." A $2 million "design exercise" from 1989, the Pontiac Stinger in no way answers the question, "Dad, how come there aren't any Pontiac dealerships any more?" It does, however, pose the question, "Why didn't my new car come with a garden hose?"
At 0:52 I could NOT help but break out into a hearty "Her name is Rio and she dances on the saaaand!"
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 7:54 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 7:54 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
All those cool 80s kids and their ... binoculars?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:57 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:57 AM on February 23, 2014
God, who didn't have jumpsuited neon paint orgies back then?
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 7:59 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 7:59 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think the announcer studied with Troy McClure.
posted by Vitamaster at 8:03 AM on February 23, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by Vitamaster at 8:03 AM on February 23, 2014 [10 favorites]
And I think Homer Simpson designed the car itself.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 8:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by Foci for Analysis at 8:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [11 favorites]
What an absolutely ridiculous, stupid idea for a vehicle...
...I totally want one.
posted by xingcat at 8:08 AM on February 23, 2014 [19 favorites]
...I totally want one.
posted by xingcat at 8:08 AM on February 23, 2014 [19 favorites]
I guess that it was good that they were thinking outside of the box but wow is that wrong-headed in about 50 different ways.
posted by octothorpe at 8:09 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by octothorpe at 8:09 AM on February 23, 2014
I'd love to see a documentary about the history of the Stinger, from beginning to end.
posted by PHINC at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by PHINC at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
To the edge! The excitement edge!
Cocaine and the '80s. What a heady mix.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Cocaine and the '80s. What a heady mix.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
How far the mighty have (had) fallen, that was just 20 years after these Pontiac commercials: Beating on a '68 GTO with a crowbar and Paul Revere and the Raiders sing about the Judge.
posted by 445supermag at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by 445supermag at 8:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Also if they'd actually produced the thing, it would have ended up as some horrible value-engineered piece of crap like the Fiero, Aztek or Trans Sport.
GM should have ditched Pontiac (and Oldsmobile) many years before they did.
posted by octothorpe at 8:17 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
GM should have ditched Pontiac (and Oldsmobile) many years before they did.
posted by octothorpe at 8:17 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'll put this in the same class as my Subaru Baja, which I sincerely regret ever selling.
posted by HuronBob at 8:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by HuronBob at 8:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fieros are sweet.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by nathancaswell at 8:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
Also, I am totally considering tracking down a Subaru Baja, those things are awesome.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:20 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by nathancaswell at 8:20 AM on February 23, 2014
...and a baby's arm holding an apple..
Kind of a cool idea to have all of that stuff built in. But I will have to remember to spin all of my failed ideas as "design exercises" in the future.
posted by bleep at 8:26 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Kind of a cool idea to have all of that stuff built in. But I will have to remember to spin all of my failed ideas as "design exercises" in the future.
posted by bleep at 8:26 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I thought he was going to say the door side panel is a detachable surfboard.
posted by FishBike at 8:33 AM on February 23, 2014 [20 favorites]
posted by FishBike at 8:33 AM on February 23, 2014 [20 favorites]
The shot of the front at the beginning definitely had hints of Aztec. I was disappointed that there was not a ginsu knife set, though.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:34 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Dip Flash at 8:34 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
The shot of the front at the beginning definitely had hints of Aztec.
It's basically an Aztek minus a roof. And plus a garden hose and two Dustbusters.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:36 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
It's basically an Aztek minus a roof. And plus a garden hose and two Dustbusters.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:36 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
The great thing about this is that if your family owned two of them in different colors, you'll never put the a radio or whatever in the wrong car because they're ALL color coded (even the individual tools in the tool kit!).
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:50 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 8:50 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
The trouble is that very few potential purchasers of a vehicle like this actually get to go frolic at the beach every day as their job. Those that do are probably driving 10 to 20 year old Jeeps.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by LastOfHisKind at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
I am deeply curious about the garden hose. Does it come with an on-board water supply, too?
I do kind of feel like the designers of the Honda Element maybe watched this video a couple of times too many.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I do kind of feel like the designers of the Honda Element maybe watched this video a couple of times too many.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
First choice of car for dealing with zombie or mutant apocalypse.
Other than that, what the hell were they thinking. I keep seeing all those small moving parts and detachable segments and thinking "That's going to break," "that'll get lost," or "that will never go back on right."
posted by absalom at 8:52 AM on February 23, 2014 [14 favorites]
Other than that, what the hell were they thinking. I keep seeing all those small moving parts and detachable segments and thinking "That's going to break," "that'll get lost," or "that will never go back on right."
posted by absalom at 8:52 AM on February 23, 2014 [14 favorites]
Kinda cute, but with those little tires it's a golf cart for the very tamest beaches. Anybody who bought one thinking it was a dune buggy and took it off the smooth, hard-packed sand would have spent the rest of the afternoon walking up and down the beach looking for ten people to help dig it/haul it/push it back out again. Best use, driving across the superheated asphalt parking lot to the burger stand so you don't melt your flip-flops and fry your feet
posted by jfuller at 8:55 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by jfuller at 8:55 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Some of these actually seemed like pretty good ideas if you lived near a beach or in a sunny area where you're out a lot...and then we got to the garden hose.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:02 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:02 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Honestly, it never had a chance because GM is, and will always be, it seems, a manufacturer of middle-of-the-road crap that only ventures into extremes to make things that are extremely awful and sad.
The Stinger isn't horrible, therefore GM would have never bothered.
The real almost-car tragedy of our time is still the Ford 021C, which was damn plausible in 1999 and gets better looking every year.
posted by sonascope at 9:03 AM on February 23, 2014 [18 favorites]
The Stinger isn't horrible, therefore GM would have never bothered.
The real almost-car tragedy of our time is still the Ford 021C, which was damn plausible in 1999 and gets better looking every year.
posted by sonascope at 9:03 AM on February 23, 2014 [18 favorites]
Kinda cute, but with those little tires it's a golf cart for the very tamest beaches.
I disagree. Witness the Mini Moke with ten inch wheels, which was just fine on the beach. It's the width of the tire against the weight of the vehicle that matters most.
posted by sonascope at 9:07 AM on February 23, 2014
I disagree. Witness the Mini Moke with ten inch wheels, which was just fine on the beach. It's the width of the tire against the weight of the vehicle that matters most.
posted by sonascope at 9:07 AM on February 23, 2014
the Ford 021C
That thing is channeling one of those soviet bloc cars, the trabant or maybe a Lada. Cute, but would need to be parked in front of a brutalist apartment block to look right.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:10 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
That thing is channeling one of those soviet bloc cars, the trabant or maybe a Lada. Cute, but would need to be parked in front of a brutalist apartment block to look right.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:10 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
Honestly, it never had a chance because GM is, and will always be, it seems, a manufacturer of middle-of-the-road crap
I know what you mean and don't totally disagree, but there is the odd good car (I bought the Camaro when it came out for sentimental reasons and because it looks so damned vulgar and rude and was pleasantly surprised by how well it drives; that said, the interior couldn't be blander if . . . how do you make something blander?) and the odd subsidiary still churning out fun stuff. Why they don't just import Holden straight to the US I don't know. Instead they helped finally suffocate Pontiac by importing Holdens and hitting them with the blandness gun to turn them into boring crap like the G6.
posted by yerfatma at 9:10 AM on February 23, 2014
I know what you mean and don't totally disagree, but there is the odd good car (I bought the Camaro when it came out for sentimental reasons and because it looks so damned vulgar and rude and was pleasantly surprised by how well it drives; that said, the interior couldn't be blander if . . . how do you make something blander?) and the odd subsidiary still churning out fun stuff. Why they don't just import Holden straight to the US I don't know. Instead they helped finally suffocate Pontiac by importing Holdens and hitting them with the blandness gun to turn them into boring crap like the G6.
posted by yerfatma at 9:10 AM on February 23, 2014
A car for the rest of us ... gremmies and hodads.
posted by Chitownfats at 9:12 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by Chitownfats at 9:12 AM on February 23, 2014
the odd subsidiary still churning out fun stuff
Unfortunately, in typical GM style, they've assassinated Holden, killing off not only Holden's cheeky weirdness, but all auto manufacturing in Australia.
Opel managed to come up with the cute l'il actually refreshing Adam…which GM is considering selling in the US as a frarking Buick, the official car of people who really don't like cars but aren't financially wise enough to buy Korean.
posted by sonascope at 9:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Unfortunately, in typical GM style, they've assassinated Holden, killing off not only Holden's cheeky weirdness, but all auto manufacturing in Australia.
Opel managed to come up with the cute l'il actually refreshing Adam…which GM is considering selling in the US as a frarking Buick, the official car of people who really don't like cars but aren't financially wise enough to buy Korean.
posted by sonascope at 9:19 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
the Ford 021C
That thing is channeling one of those soviet bloc cars, the trabant or maybe a Lada.
We'll have to disagree on that one, as the 021C is swimming in playful, practical, elegant design, whereas a Trabant is just crystallized sadness and a Lada (by which I assume you mean the Riva/Nova/Classic), which was based on the genuinely good Fiat 124 of 1966, but with all the joy removed and replaced with Slavic leadenness.
Part of the problem is that we've been brainwashed by marketing divisions to mistake humility and simplicity with sadnotgoodenoughness, and that's why the modern Mini, for example, will never, ever be as good from a cosmic standpoint as the original. We're all just too afraid to be mistaken for people who couldn't afford the "better" car. Gotta watch those Joneses but good.
posted by sonascope at 9:29 AM on February 23, 2014 [7 favorites]
That thing is channeling one of those soviet bloc cars, the trabant or maybe a Lada.
We'll have to disagree on that one, as the 021C is swimming in playful, practical, elegant design, whereas a Trabant is just crystallized sadness and a Lada (by which I assume you mean the Riva/Nova/Classic), which was based on the genuinely good Fiat 124 of 1966, but with all the joy removed and replaced with Slavic leadenness.
Part of the problem is that we've been brainwashed by marketing divisions to mistake humility and simplicity with sadnotgoodenoughness, and that's why the modern Mini, for example, will never, ever be as good from a cosmic standpoint as the original. We're all just too afraid to be mistaken for people who couldn't afford the "better" car. Gotta watch those Joneses but good.
posted by sonascope at 9:29 AM on February 23, 2014 [7 favorites]
As the Jalopnik folks point out, the Stinger made a guest appearance in SeaQuest DSV.
posted by zamboni at 9:41 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by zamboni at 9:41 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
I've spent a lot of time in Ladas and actually have considerable affection for them. They are like Volvo 240s except with no crash protection or reliability, super practical and so charmless that they become cool. They really are the concrete apartment block of the car world.
From looking at Google images, though, I see an awful lot of Trabant in that Ford, though the designer was probably pulling more from some old Fiat or Lancia or whatever the Trabant designers were copying, I don't know my 1960s Euro cars well enough to know what the lineage is.
I do agree though, that the modern car market is almost entirely devoid of distinctive vehicles. We can laugh at the Aztec or the concept car in this video, but they stand out for being sharply different and even playful, and for attempting to be practical (though perhaps to the point of becoming impractical).
posted by Dip Flash at 9:42 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
From looking at Google images, though, I see an awful lot of Trabant in that Ford, though the designer was probably pulling more from some old Fiat or Lancia or whatever the Trabant designers were copying, I don't know my 1960s Euro cars well enough to know what the lineage is.
I do agree though, that the modern car market is almost entirely devoid of distinctive vehicles. We can laugh at the Aztec or the concept car in this video, but they stand out for being sharply different and even playful, and for attempting to be practical (though perhaps to the point of becoming impractical).
posted by Dip Flash at 9:42 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
I do kind of feel like the designers of the Honda Element maybe watched this video a couple of times too many.
I think they watched it just enough, really. The Element especially in its late awd variant was useful both as a daily city car and a weekend excursion car, either with a bunch of weird gear for 2-3 people or with your family and their suitcases. Bringing a very unusual car like that to market is hard enough, and the Stinger helped set the stage for regular-people cars (not Rolls-Royces) to be equipped with useful integrated features.
LastOfHisKind makes a good point above in that the most common car for daily beachgoers is the Wrangler, which gets partway there by having removable top and doors, but depends heavily on aftermarket accessories to make it useful. Which is nice because the integrated Dustbuster would cost a lot more from the dealer than from JCWhitney, but shitty from a design standpoint because it means that everyone's vehicle is a hodgepodge of stuff that wasn't necessarily designed to work together. Jeeps are such a modified platform that at this point it's almost their aesthetic.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:47 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think they watched it just enough, really. The Element especially in its late awd variant was useful both as a daily city car and a weekend excursion car, either with a bunch of weird gear for 2-3 people or with your family and their suitcases. Bringing a very unusual car like that to market is hard enough, and the Stinger helped set the stage for regular-people cars (not Rolls-Royces) to be equipped with useful integrated features.
LastOfHisKind makes a good point above in that the most common car for daily beachgoers is the Wrangler, which gets partway there by having removable top and doors, but depends heavily on aftermarket accessories to make it useful. Which is nice because the integrated Dustbuster would cost a lot more from the dealer than from JCWhitney, but shitty from a design standpoint because it means that everyone's vehicle is a hodgepodge of stuff that wasn't necessarily designed to work together. Jeeps are such a modified platform that at this point it's almost their aesthetic.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:47 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh I dunno if we need hideously ugly there's always the Nissan Cube.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:48 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:48 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
That is the most awesome car I have ever seen. Where can I buy one?
posted by senor biggles at 9:52 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by senor biggles at 9:52 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
As the Jalopnik folks point out, the Stinger made a guest appearance in SeaQuest DSV.
And now we have the explanation for why I suddenly had a weirdly hormonal teenage flashback at the same time as desperately wanting this for the beachfront condo I would like to have in Palm Beach.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:55 AM on February 23, 2014
And now we have the explanation for why I suddenly had a weirdly hormonal teenage flashback at the same time as desperately wanting this for the beachfront condo I would like to have in Palm Beach.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:55 AM on February 23, 2014
"Was there anything the Stinger couldn't do? "
Carry a surfboard?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:04 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Carry a surfboard?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:04 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
ARK II totally blew the Stinger away in 1976, and it came with a "trunk monkey"!
posted by jazon at 10:06 AM on February 23, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by jazon at 10:06 AM on February 23, 2014 [6 favorites]
do trunk monkeys eat trunk muffins
asking for a friend
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
asking for a friend
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm always leery of the "ugly" criticism, in that anything that even slightly diverges from the oatmeal calm of generic design nothingness gets called ugly and has for some time.
I hear folks say that the Nissan Cube is ugly, but I think it's full of good ideas and fun, and has a nice integration of forms and massing, with some wry little details like that amazing asymmetrical rear window. The same's said of the Juke, which seems perfectly proportioned for what it wants to be.
I've probably been immunized against the too-easy "ugly" tag because I drove a Citroën DS as my daily driver for years, and boy, did you hear "haw haw, that thing sure is ugly" a lot, or the near-corollary, "that car is weird." Thing is, if you talk to anyone working in design almost anywhere in the world, you find about as many people who say the DS is ugly as you'll find climate scientists that say climate change is a hoax. It's a very pure, restrained design that balances subtlety with bold forms.
The Citroën Ami is a similar example. Looks absolutely horrible and disjointed from the POV of people in a culture that has schmorked detail down to the flabby disexuberance of the Camry and the sorrowful nothings US-market Hondas have become, but live with one and you fall in love, not by growing accustomed to its [ugly] face, but by learning to read the wry design language Flaminio Bertoni invented for just that car.
Of course, I live in a country in which people think the 603 is ugly, so I'm well used to being an alien living amongst the savages.
posted by sonascope at 10:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [11 favorites]
I hear folks say that the Nissan Cube is ugly, but I think it's full of good ideas and fun, and has a nice integration of forms and massing, with some wry little details like that amazing asymmetrical rear window. The same's said of the Juke, which seems perfectly proportioned for what it wants to be.
I've probably been immunized against the too-easy "ugly" tag because I drove a Citroën DS as my daily driver for years, and boy, did you hear "haw haw, that thing sure is ugly" a lot, or the near-corollary, "that car is weird." Thing is, if you talk to anyone working in design almost anywhere in the world, you find about as many people who say the DS is ugly as you'll find climate scientists that say climate change is a hoax. It's a very pure, restrained design that balances subtlety with bold forms.
The Citroën Ami is a similar example. Looks absolutely horrible and disjointed from the POV of people in a culture that has schmorked detail down to the flabby disexuberance of the Camry and the sorrowful nothings US-market Hondas have become, but live with one and you fall in love, not by growing accustomed to its [ugly] face, but by learning to read the wry design language Flaminio Bertoni invented for just that car.
Of course, I live in a country in which people think the 603 is ugly, so I'm well used to being an alien living amongst the savages.
posted by sonascope at 10:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [11 favorites]
I think they watched it just enough, really. The Element especially in its late awd variant was useful both as a daily city car and a weekend excursion car, either with a bunch of weird gear for 2-3 people or with your family and their suitcases.
yet, somehow it is an inch shy to the center console.for being able to transport a 8 foot long piece of wood on the floor in back.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:14 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
yet, somehow it is an inch shy to the center console.for being able to transport a 8 foot long piece of wood on the floor in back.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:14 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
If you ever want to understand the aesthetic of the early '90s, particularly its DIY, anti-glam and anti-corporate elements, just look at this commercial (and nearly every other commercial on TV in the late '80s). This represents an intersection of design, engineering, popular culture, and capitalist ideology so totalizing that the only natural reaction could be Grunge.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:16 AM on February 23, 2014 [15 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:16 AM on February 23, 2014 [15 favorites]
ennui.bz I love adore, lust for and have had a thirty year car-crush on the Citroën DS and now ride a Nissan Cube. Lets be pals. :P
This concept car? Seems like my 8-years olds idea of a great car to drive in back yard, where that garden hose would even make sense.
It's the color that really gets me though. Is that day-glow green?
posted by dabitch at 10:18 AM on February 23, 2014
This concept car? Seems like my 8-years olds idea of a great car to drive in back yard, where that garden hose would even make sense.
It's the color that really gets me though. Is that day-glow green?
posted by dabitch at 10:18 AM on February 23, 2014
When this came on in the other room, I was sure that it was the ad from SNL for the Adobe... "The fun little car that's made out of clay! That's Adobe!" It had custom contour seating and was easy to repair!
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:20 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 10:20 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
My brother and I called my dad's 1965 Pontiac Catalina with off gassing vinyl seats ( that he didn't get rid of until 1982) El Stinko.
posted by brujita at 10:29 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by brujita at 10:29 AM on February 23, 2014
Cute, but... I give you one trip to the beach before that "funky looking CD player" is turned into an ersatz disc-sander.
Also, I'm curious how this would've fared in crash tests--"That ice chest full of bottles of Fanta certainly didn't do them any favors in that side collision..."
posted by blueberry at 10:44 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
Also, I'm curious how this would've fared in crash tests--"That ice chest full of bottles of Fanta certainly didn't do them any favors in that side collision..."
posted by blueberry at 10:44 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
The embryonic beginnings of the Honda Odyssey, which has a drink cooler and a vacuum.
posted by peeedro at 10:55 AM on February 23, 2014
posted by peeedro at 10:55 AM on February 23, 2014
Adobe commercial. I'm guessing it was a reaction to the Geo commercials (wonder how many of those Geos are still running nowadays).
posted by crapmatic at 11:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by crapmatic at 11:07 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
I love how in the demonstration for the Odyssey's built-in vacuum, the moms dump multicolored Goldfish onto the seats while their child grasps for the snacks, only for the fresh-from-the-bag treats to be sucked away into the vacuum hose.
YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE FOR YOU? THINK AGAIN
posted by a halcyon day at 11:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
YOU THOUGHT THESE WERE FOR YOU? THINK AGAIN
posted by a halcyon day at 11:13 AM on February 23, 2014 [5 favorites]
(wonder how many of those Geos are still running nowadays).
Our '96 Geo Prizm would probably still be running if my son hadn't smushed it five years ago. Bought it used for $7K or so and the damn thing just ran forever until its untimely death by the hands (and right foot) of a teenage boy.
posted by octothorpe at 11:16 AM on February 23, 2014
Our '96 Geo Prizm would probably still be running if my son hadn't smushed it five years ago. Bought it used for $7K or so and the damn thing just ran forever until its untimely death by the hands (and right foot) of a teenage boy.
posted by octothorpe at 11:16 AM on February 23, 2014
Anyone remember the Volkswagon Thing?
Not quite as absurd, but pretty crazy.
posted by Windopaene at 11:23 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Not quite as absurd, but pretty crazy.
posted by Windopaene at 11:23 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
My dad had a VW Thing when I was a kid which fully cemented our reputation as "that weird family" on the block.
Fun vehicle though; Dad took out the front factory seats and put in a set of Peugeot seats from a wreck which made the thing (er, Thing) much more comfortable to ride in.
posted by octothorpe at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
Fun vehicle though; Dad took out the front factory seats and put in a set of Peugeot seats from a wreck which made the thing (er, Thing) much more comfortable to ride in.
posted by octothorpe at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
Anyone remember the Volkswagon Thing?
Being an inveterate automotive Francophile and weirdo, I prefer the mostly plastic 2-cylinder rendition of the same theme.
posted by sonascope at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Being an inveterate automotive Francophile and weirdo, I prefer the mostly plastic 2-cylinder rendition of the same theme.
posted by sonascope at 11:30 AM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Unfortunately, in typical GM style, they've assassinated Holden
Oh man, you've ruined my day. I'm moving somewhere else in the multiverse where they put Holden in charge of GM. I remember when my Dad first turned me on to them I was amazed at how innovative their interiors were even in low-budget models— the dash was still plastic, put it was three shades of pink and a hundred shades of beautiful. It clearly had never seen a focus group and the designer wasn't worried about one.
Thanks for the Ford concept vehicle though, it's awesome.
wonder how many of those Geos are still running nowadays
I dunno, but my wife and I still lament giving up her old Prizm. It wasn't the worst driver and it got 43 miles to the gallon. Which wasn't a patch on the Metro which claimed 60. I think of both of those GM vehicles whenever a domestic auto maker brags about a new sedan that gets 35 mpg.
posted by yerfatma at 11:41 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh man, you've ruined my day. I'm moving somewhere else in the multiverse where they put Holden in charge of GM. I remember when my Dad first turned me on to them I was amazed at how innovative their interiors were even in low-budget models— the dash was still plastic, put it was three shades of pink and a hundred shades of beautiful. It clearly had never seen a focus group and the designer wasn't worried about one.
Thanks for the Ford concept vehicle though, it's awesome.
wonder how many of those Geos are still running nowadays
I dunno, but my wife and I still lament giving up her old Prizm. It wasn't the worst driver and it got 43 miles to the gallon. Which wasn't a patch on the Metro which claimed 60. I think of both of those GM vehicles whenever a domestic auto maker brags about a new sedan that gets 35 mpg.
posted by yerfatma at 11:41 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I remember driving along the Dan Ryan one time behind a Geo Metro with a bumper sticker that read "I Deserve Prosperity!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:49 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:49 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Easily sleep in your car with a built-in hobo stove and plenty of storage for the life possessions that you were able to salvage before that final eviction notice? Truly one of the world’s most versatile future cars.
The hose for sneaking into someone’s backyard for a quick shower was especially prescient.
posted by Skwirl at 11:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
The hose for sneaking into someone’s backyard for a quick shower was especially prescient.
posted by Skwirl at 11:51 AM on February 23, 2014 [4 favorites]
Also, wasn't the Volkswagen Thing just a re-branded Kübelwagen?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:53 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:53 AM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
It was the same idea as a Kübelwagen but a new design based on '60 era Beetles.
posted by octothorpe at 12:03 PM on February 23, 2014
posted by octothorpe at 12:03 PM on February 23, 2014
> Witness the Mini Moke with ten inch wheels, which was just fine on the beach.
Sonascope, are you sure, absolutely certain sure, that isn't some kind of king midget?
posted by jfuller at 12:45 PM on February 23, 2014
Sonascope, are you sure, absolutely certain sure, that isn't some kind of king midget?
posted by jfuller at 12:45 PM on February 23, 2014
I hear folks say that the Nissan Cube is ugly, but I think it's full of good ideas and fun, and has a nice integration of forms and massing, with some wry little details like that amazing asymmetrical rear window. The same's said of the Juke, which seems perfectly proportioned for what it wants to be.
I think the Citroën DS is a beautiful car, and I would go so far as to say that the formal underpinnings of the Cube are solid, but the actual body work just looks cheap and lazy, like the furniture you'd expect to see at a restaurant that only serves Dippin' Dots. A car like that, whose design seems to want to spring from a single germinal motif, needs to have every detail of its form seem necessary. To my eye the Citroën nails that, but the Cube doesn't.
posted by invitapriore at 12:45 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I think the Citroën DS is a beautiful car, and I would go so far as to say that the formal underpinnings of the Cube are solid, but the actual body work just looks cheap and lazy, like the furniture you'd expect to see at a restaurant that only serves Dippin' Dots. A car like that, whose design seems to want to spring from a single germinal motif, needs to have every detail of its form seem necessary. To my eye the Citroën nails that, but the Cube doesn't.
posted by invitapriore at 12:45 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I remember this, and I’m still waiting. But we have an Element, so consider that.
yet, somehow it is an inch shy to the center console.for being able to transport a 8 foot long piece of wood on the floor in back.
No shit. At least the subwoofer cover is pretty strong.
posted by bongo_x at 12:50 PM on February 23, 2014
yet, somehow it is an inch shy to the center console.for being able to transport a 8 foot long piece of wood on the floor in back.
No shit. At least the subwoofer cover is pretty strong.
posted by bongo_x at 12:50 PM on February 23, 2014
I always thought the SNL "Adobe" was a reaction the the Yugo, not Geo.
posted by kjs3 at 12:58 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by kjs3 at 12:58 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I am liking the "detachable steering wheel/frisbee" idea from the YT comments.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:15 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:15 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
That thing is channeling one of those soviet bloc cars, the trabant or maybe a Lada.
Looks a fair bit like the Peugeot 403 my parents had.
posted by sfred at 1:34 PM on February 23, 2014
Looks a fair bit like the Peugeot 403 my parents had.
posted by sfred at 1:34 PM on February 23, 2014
yet, somehow it is an inch shy to the center console.for being able to transport a 8 foot long piece of wood on the floor in back.
A Thule Goalpost 997 can have that lumber (or a canoe/kayak) riding overhead, while the interior space could be used for bikes, sleeping bags or an air mattress.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:39 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
A Thule Goalpost 997 can have that lumber (or a canoe/kayak) riding overhead, while the interior space could be used for bikes, sleeping bags or an air mattress.
posted by Smart Dalek at 1:39 PM on February 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh yeah, you drive onto the beach with one of those bad boys and you are beach royalty.
But in your rush hour commute to your boring job you are surrounded by a reminder of what you dream your life could be but never will.
posted by munchingzombie at 3:09 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
But in your rush hour commute to your boring job you are surrounded by a reminder of what you dream your life could be but never will.
posted by munchingzombie at 3:09 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I always thought the SNL "Adobe" was a reaction the the Yugo, not Geo.
The thing that's enraging about the Adobe parody, other than the fact that Yugo humor is on the same level as anti-mime standup or "what's the deal with airline peanuts?" lazy-ass humor, is that they've basically used a clay-covered Renault 5 as their punchline, and the Renault 5 is an icon of good design, not a ha-ha-lookit-that-funny-car-Harriet car, dang it.
posted by sonascope at 3:29 PM on February 23, 2014
The thing that's enraging about the Adobe parody, other than the fact that Yugo humor is on the same level as anti-mime standup or "what's the deal with airline peanuts?" lazy-ass humor, is that they've basically used a clay-covered Renault 5 as their punchline, and the Renault 5 is an icon of good design, not a ha-ha-lookit-that-funny-car-Harriet car, dang it.
posted by sonascope at 3:29 PM on February 23, 2014
I'm actually trying to decide what car to buy and am sad that a color-matched toolkit is not included in any of the options out there. Or beach seating.
posted by emjaybee at 3:39 PM on February 23, 2014
posted by emjaybee at 3:39 PM on February 23, 2014
That car sucked so bad it could suck 2 vacuums through a garden hose.
posted by surplus at 3:52 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by surplus at 3:52 PM on February 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
Or beach seating.
You'll need to go with the classics for beach (or woods) seating.
posted by sonascope at 3:56 PM on February 23, 2014
You'll need to go with the classics for beach (or woods) seating.
posted by sonascope at 3:56 PM on February 23, 2014
wonder how many of those Geos are still running nowadays
They (and mid-90s Hyundai Elantras) if I remember correctly had Japanese (Mitsubishi) engines. When gas was heading past $5 a gallon during the Bush years, I thought I remember hearing of used Geos being in high demand due to excellent fuel efficiency and relative low cost, compared with hybrids.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:16 PM on February 23, 2014
They (and mid-90s Hyundai Elantras) if I remember correctly had Japanese (Mitsubishi) engines. When gas was heading past $5 a gallon during the Bush years, I thought I remember hearing of used Geos being in high demand due to excellent fuel efficiency and relative low cost, compared with hybrids.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 4:16 PM on February 23, 2014
Also, wasn't the Volkswagen Thing just a re-branded Kübelwagen?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:53 PM on February 23 [1 favorite +] [!]
It was the same idea as a Kübelwagen but a new design based on '60 era Beetles.
posted by octothorpe at 4:03 PM on February 23 [+] [!]
I've noticed Germans do refer to the Thing as a Kübelwagen.
posted by Flashman at 6:29 PM on February 23, 2014
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:53 PM on February 23 [1 favorite +] [!]
It was the same idea as a Kübelwagen but a new design based on '60 era Beetles.
posted by octothorpe at 4:03 PM on February 23 [+] [!]
I've noticed Germans do refer to the Thing as a Kübelwagen.
posted by Flashman at 6:29 PM on February 23, 2014
I probably should have qualified any statements as coming from the same person for whom a Citroën Type H is a dream car.
Also— there are two Kubelwagens. The "Thing" was the Type 181, and the military predecessor was the Type 82, which was produced in many variants including this holy grail. It's not incorrect to call a 181 either a Thing or a Kubelwagen, but an 82 was never a Thing.
posted by a halcyon day at 8:41 PM on February 23, 2014
Also— there are two Kubelwagens. The "Thing" was the Type 181, and the military predecessor was the Type 82, which was produced in many variants including this holy grail. It's not incorrect to call a 181 either a Thing or a Kubelwagen, but an 82 was never a Thing.
posted by a halcyon day at 8:41 PM on February 23, 2014
This is so way fucking cooler than a DeLorean. If James Bond had rocked up in one of these I would have given him the manly nod.
posted by varion at 9:10 PM on February 23, 2014
posted by varion at 9:10 PM on February 23, 2014
Consider how a few years later Nissan would have a hit with the bright yellow Xterra with built in first aid kit and ads that are basically an update of the ads for this car.
posted by humanfont at 7:06 AM on February 24, 2014
posted by humanfont at 7:06 AM on February 24, 2014
I clicked the link Sonascope provided for the Tatra 603, and YouTube provided me with a Ford commercial before serving up the video proper. I have no idea what kind of algorithm has determined that people who look at Tatra 603s are probably in the market for a new Ford, but I suspect it's not doing Ford or YouTube any favours.
posted by Harald74 at 7:20 AM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Harald74 at 7:20 AM on February 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think the Pontiac was rather interesting, and going car camping is usually what my family do during holidays. But I won't buy a car with all the furnishings. I won't be locked into Pontiac's CD player, Pontiac's gas cooker, Pontiac's cooler etc. I derive an unhealthy amount of please from obsessing over details about the gear we pack. E.g. I own about seven gas cookers, and still I'm not sure I've got the ultimate one.
Part of this is actual different needs and requirements, and part of it is escape from the daily grind. Looking over new tents is sampling the act of camping beforehand.
I think I have settled on vehicles for the time being, though, and they're all cubes. The getaway car is an older AWD VW Multivan with a Westfalia poptop, and the daily commuter is a Citroën Berlingog Multispace. A cube shaped car is a blank canvas.
posted by Harald74 at 7:34 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Part of this is actual different needs and requirements, and part of it is escape from the daily grind. Looking over new tents is sampling the act of camping beforehand.
I think I have settled on vehicles for the time being, though, and they're all cubes. The getaway car is an older AWD VW Multivan with a Westfalia poptop, and the daily commuter is a Citroën Berlingog Multispace. A cube shaped car is a blank canvas.
posted by Harald74 at 7:34 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Assuming it didn't come with an accessory specifically for flex capacitor-based trips.
posted by yerfatma at 8:28 AM on February 24, 2014
posted by yerfatma at 8:28 AM on February 24, 2014
The getaway car is an older AWD VW Multivan with a Westfalia poptop
My man, Harald74.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:40 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
My man, Harald74.
posted by a halcyon day at 9:40 AM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have no idea what kind of algorithm has determined that people who look at Tatra 603s are probably in the market for a new Ford, but I suspect it's not doing Ford or YouTube any favours.
What's been hilarious to me, on a similar tip, is that, when you watch Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Crackle, since it's underwritten by Acura, they show not just annoying Acura ads, but also cute old Honda commercials for the likes of early Civics and N600s as well as Cubs and other Honda motorcycles, which just shows off exactly how committedly funless Honda has become as a corporation in our blissful modern age.
posted by sonascope at 12:09 PM on February 24, 2014
What's been hilarious to me, on a similar tip, is that, when you watch Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee on Crackle, since it's underwritten by Acura, they show not just annoying Acura ads, but also cute old Honda commercials for the likes of early Civics and N600s as well as Cubs and other Honda motorcycles, which just shows off exactly how committedly funless Honda has become as a corporation in our blissful modern age.
posted by sonascope at 12:09 PM on February 24, 2014
Speaking of esoteric Volkswagens, by the way, while the air-cooled variety are largely not to my interest after branching out into cars produced by engineers not stuck with a stolen 1930s design that had some huge flaws to start with, the one I'd probably own if I had my druthers would be the thoroughly absurd Fridolin, aka the Type 147 Kleinlieferwagen. It's just…oh dear…I mean…just look at it. Is "laughractical" a word?
posted by sonascope at 12:20 PM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by sonascope at 12:20 PM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
which just shows off exactly how committedly funless Honda has become as a corporation in our blissful modern age.
So who are the "fun" ones now? Kia with their dancing hamsters?
posted by emjaybee at 12:55 PM on February 24, 2014
So who are the "fun" ones now? Kia with their dancing hamsters?
posted by emjaybee at 12:55 PM on February 24, 2014
sonascope, that's on my list as well. Every now and then a lightly modified one shows up at VW events. They're super slick.
posted by a halcyon day at 4:02 PM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by a halcyon day at 4:02 PM on February 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm talking driving and owning fun more than marketing fun. I find Fiats fun, and Smarts perversely fun, and Minis might be fun if they hadn't dicked up the Issigonis design so very badly, and Hondas are still reliable, practical, reasonable cars, but there's nothing in the US-market lineup that's really fun by nature in the way that nice old Hondas were. They're just…upright citizens in grey suits, alas.
posted by sonascope at 4:04 PM on February 24, 2014
posted by sonascope at 4:04 PM on February 24, 2014
The light-bar front and rear of that Ford 021C remind me of the '66 Studebaker Sceptre.
Awesome Citroën ads, sonascope -- thanks!
And you had a DS? I love those cars!
posted by Rash at 10:30 PM on February 24, 2014
Awesome Citroën ads, sonascope -- thanks!
And you had a DS? I love those cars!
posted by Rash at 10:30 PM on February 24, 2014
The Pontiac Stinger is a statement about the possibilities available in a proper non-fusion scenario post-scarcity world. Remove individual ownership as a design constraint and you open up a great variety of special purpose vehicles for all sorts of situations that would be ludicrous to consider in any scenario not involving billionaire level wealth. Stinger Socialism: where we each get our own beach car, but only when we need it.
posted by bigbigdog at 2:01 PM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by bigbigdog at 2:01 PM on February 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by yerfatma at 7:50 AM on February 23, 2014 [2 favorites]