Cannons Not Included, Sadly

April 4, 2014 1:58 PM

In the game Full Steam Ahead, you design steamships under the glowering supervision of Isambard Kingdom Brunel.
posted by Iridic (28 comments total)

They sure had good names at that time.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:03 PM on April 4, 2014

BY JOVE, I'VE MADE THE OLD MAN PROUD!
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:09 PM on April 4, 2014

Note: after you've laid down the structural outline for a ship, you can click a beam to change it from wood to metal.
posted by Iridic at 2:11 PM on April 4, 2014

Isambard Kingdom Brunel is tired of these time-traveling assholes.
posted by Doktor Zed at 2:18 PM on April 4, 2014 [6 favorites]

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, for your viewing pleasure: Isambard Kingdom Brunel Shouts The Tempest.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:18 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

That was lots of fun. I enjoyed how the SS Boxey gradually turned into the SS Vshaped as I needed more coal and room.
posted by jeribus at 3:02 PM on April 4, 2014

What combination of Full Steam Ahead and Less Than Full Steam Ahead is best for distance? I know that Full Steam Ahead is best for speed, and for bellowing. I like the game, but the month it takes to test and see if my ship can go the full 8000 nautical miles is a little long. I guess that's why there's multi-tasking. Fun game, though.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 3:22 PM on April 4, 2014

You can change the size of the propellers and engines and such if you click on them after you set them up.

Still can't get a prop driven ship to outdo my windjammer.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 3:22 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

I worked on a project, based in the UK and the US, that was named after Brunel. No one in the US had any idea who he was.
posted by tommasz at 3:24 PM on April 4, 2014

Isambard Kingdom Buñuel
posted by theodolite at 3:26 PM on April 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Discreet Charm of the 19th C Engineer-Philosophers?
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:31 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

The plural of "cannon" is still "cannon".
posted by LogicalDash at 3:35 PM on April 4, 2014

Hmmm. I don't think he likes me much, just about everything I put in for the stability test has a tendency to break apart and sink. I finally got something that worked, but he assures me that I have little genius.
posted by nubs at 3:51 PM on April 4, 2014

Honestly I think Isambard Kingdom Brunel launched the Industrial Revolution simply on the strength of his name alone. Even if you have no idea who he is, you can still hear the chugging and clanging of awesome cast-iron steamworks in the background whenever his name is uttered.

"Isambard Kingdom Brunel." One of History's all time great baby names.
posted by Scientist at 3:53 PM on April 4, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's right up there with Thurl Ravenscroft and Crescent Dragonwagon for favorite names.
posted by Foosnark at 3:59 PM on April 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

Isambard Kingdom Brunel was actually resurrected to consult on the proposed HSR line between London and Birmingham but when he tried to explore the route he couldn't book train tickets for reasonable fares and so he just said "Sod it!" and went to go back to Kensal Green but the Jubilee line was closed for maintenance. So he set off on foot. It's speculated that he got lost and built the shard just to kill time.
posted by srboisvert at 4:23 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, I realize he was a man of a certain brawny variety of peace. I just wouldn't have minded the ability to mount a cannon or cannon(s) for the "Tug-of-War" challenge.
posted by Iridic at 4:36 PM on April 4, 2014

The plural of "cannon" is still "cannon".

You could pretend your ship was loaded with canons, though.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:45 PM on April 4, 2014

Wow, I just tore the Alecto in twain.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 5:14 PM on April 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Um just as a point of order, it would have been nice to have been warned that this was iOS/Android only. Some of us are still primeval and have dumbphones.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:39 PM on April 4, 2014

This is a fantastic little game. Ha, I just designed a 63-crate cargo ship!
posted by oulipian at 6:47 PM on April 4, 2014

The test run is very frustrating. I want those four stars!
posted by ob1quixote at 7:03 PM on April 4, 2014

Its the interminable wait for the start-line under sail only that really makes it extra painful.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:27 PM on April 4, 2014

Just as a hint, don't do what I did and spend hours beating your brains out trying to get .2 days off the time on the passage to Australia. Try other things first, and you'll have an easier time on a couple of the earlier challenges.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:23 AM on April 5, 2014

My great^n grandfather was a stoker on the SS Great Britain. There's a brass plaque with his name (and lots of others) on it by the furnace doors. He jumped ship in Pondicherry, leaving a wife and two children in Barking, and ended up in Australia, where he founded a branch of the family that still won't cooperate in genealogical efforts for fear of lawsuits based on his bigamy.

Funny old world.
posted by cromagnon at 5:58 AM on April 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

In the game Full Steam Ahead, you design steamships under the glowering supervision of Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

The eye under my monocle is half cocked, half cocked sir with interest in your premise. Pray, enlighten me further that I might avail myself of the advice of the good Mr Brunel.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 4:51 PM on April 5, 2014

The good Mr. Brunel will dispense his wisdom after a simple tip of your hat. (click on the tophat button in the upper right of some screens)
posted by achrise at 6:22 PM on April 5, 2014

Are the winds random on the Australia and Atlantic voyages, or are they always the same? I played through each a few times and found that each time there would be one section shortly after departure where the winds were strongly with us, but then died down and eventually blew the other way. The wind was against me for the majority of the trip.

Fantastic game, though, and I'm gonna get my final four-star on that shallow crossing or fall dead asleep trying.
posted by Spatch at 4:34 AM on April 6, 2014