Your crush mileage may vary.

May 2, 2014 7:04 AM

May 7 is International Tell Your Crush Day. Maybe you found this site after someone told you they had a crush on you. Maybe you thought of the same holiday and we beat you to registering this username. Perhaps you’ve been a fan all along and have always wanted more propaganda to peruse while at work.
posted by aka burlap (109 comments total)

The site that launched a thousand AskMes
posted by TedW at 7:06 AM on May 2, 2014 [28 favorites]

May 8, International Crushing Aftermath of Rejection Day!

Make yourself a dump cake.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:18 AM on May 2, 2014 [39 favorites]

Ha! I got together with an internet crush after many years of knowing each other. Lots of stuff happened, in the end, we broke up, but we're still friends.

I can't tell my "crush" cuz like at least 50% of the women I meet are crushes in some way shape or form.
posted by symbioid at 7:19 AM on May 2, 2014 [5 favorites]

May 7th? Gosh, that's gonna be a busy day already. Please don't swarm me.

Maybe some thoughtful soul can set up a Doodle poll so we can avoid stampedes?
posted by anotherpanacea at 7:24 AM on May 2, 2014

Followed by May 8th International Restraining Order day.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:24 AM on May 2, 2014 [39 favorites]

Bah. I need some crush worthy people in my life.
posted by SpaceWarp13 at 7:26 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Maybe some thoughtful soul can set up a Doodle poll so we can avoid stampedes?

It's nice to think so, but suspect very few of us are getting stampeded.
posted by mhoye at 7:29 AM on May 2, 2014

Can it be made a federal holiday? It's really hard to build up the nerve to tell someone you have a crush on them AND be at work at the same time.

Plus I'd get to stay on the couch all day and watch my stories.
posted by doctornecessiter at 7:30 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

The site that launched a thousand AskMes

When I searched to make sure it wasn't a double, about a million AskMes came up.
posted by aka burlap at 7:32 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

As someone who firmly believes that certain things should be kept to one's self, I am firmly opposed to this holiday.

Yes, certain crushes should be relealed, but many, many should remain unspoken so as to avoid creeping out or otherwise making uncomfortable co-workers, students, employees, people over whom one has authority, partners of friends, people who've sent signals indicating they are not interested, etc.
posted by Area Man at 7:33 AM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

Remember that people who crush more get crushed on more.

The person running that site should have their advice license revoked.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:34 AM on May 2, 2014 [21 favorites]

Thankfully Han from the Fast and Furious movies is both dead and fictional, so I don't have to worry about my wife taking advantage of this holiday.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:34 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

" Don’t force a crush just to be able to tell someone you have a crush on them, but we bet if you think about it a bit more, you’ll remember that cute barista who works downtown, or that bike mechanic who fixed up your ride for you."

Coincidentally, May 7th is Cute Baristas Call In Sick Because They're Just Not Feeling Too Well, No Big Deal, They'll Probably Be Back Tomorrow It Feels Like A 24-hr Thing, Just Call In Steve He Still Owes Them A Day From Last Week When He Was Too Hung Over To Show Up.
posted by griphus at 7:35 AM on May 2, 2014 [51 favorites]

Day.
posted by griphus at 7:35 AM on May 2, 2014 [64 favorites]

I'm glad this thread is really cynical about this, because I'm feeling very cynical and nope about romance lately. yay forever alonez.
posted by sweetkid at 7:36 AM on May 2, 2014 [8 favorites]

Sweetkid, this may be the site for you.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:38 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

'Eh. Somewhere between 9th Grade and turning 34, a man realizes that the reason that the beautiful young woman with the alight, textured curls in her hair that's down the hall doesn't carry her end of a small talk conversation for a reason and it isn't because she has a shy, poetic soul.

It's because she's not into you. And this hypothetical man is totally, totally cool with that. Totally cool. And hypothetical.
posted by Skwirl at 7:38 AM on May 2, 2014 [11 favorites]

You all know how I feel about you. You've seen me mooning and making calf eyes from across the town green, and you have received my notes of strangely outdated English.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 7:40 AM on May 2, 2014 [5 favorites]

Sweetkid, this may be the site for you.

nope.
posted by sweetkid at 7:42 AM on May 2, 2014 [10 favorites]

The Official Sponsor of International Tell Your Crush Day.
posted by griphus at 7:42 AM on May 2, 2014 [14 favorites]

Sweetkid, this may be the site for you.

Something about the word "quirkyalone" makes it look to me like a weird chemical you'd see buried in the ingredients on a bottle of shampoo.
posted by doctornecessiter at 7:44 AM on May 2, 2014 [5 favorites]

At my 20th high school reunion I confessed to a woman that I had a crush on her in 4th grade. You wouldn't think something like that would still horrify someone, but you'd be wrong.
posted by bondcliff at 7:46 AM on May 2, 2014 [62 favorites]

Something about the word "quirkyalone" looks to me like a chemical you'd see buried in the ingredients on a bottle of shampoo.

Shampoo Instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

State of California Warning: This shampoo conatins Quirkyalone, which is considered a carcinogen by the State of California and should not come in contact with the skin.
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:48 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Not to be confused with May 22nd, which is International Crushed Day. It's for elephants to apologize to those they've trampled.
posted by Turkey Glue at 7:48 AM on May 2, 2014 [7 favorites]

Sweetkid, this may be the site for you.

Wow, I'm practically dry heaving from sympathetic embarrassment just from the name of the site.
posted by elizardbits at 7:49 AM on May 2, 2014 [16 favorites]

This tees up June nicely as International Friendzone Month: A Festival Of Whining and Pining.
posted by jquinby at 7:49 AM on May 2, 2014

I've done enough crush telling for one lifetime. Always worked out *so* well. Now I just write songs.
posted by Enki at 7:58 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Actually the only thing more painfully embarrassing than that site is the actual premise of the entire thread.

Wouldn’t it be rad to be able to tell people you had sparklies for that you had sparklies for them? Wouldn’t it be super-amazing if people would do the same for you?

wilhelm_scream.mp3
posted by elizardbits at 7:58 AM on May 2, 2014 [16 favorites]

On the other hand, it was nice of Wilco to write a theme song in anticipation.
posted by COBRA! at 7:58 AM on May 2, 2014

At my 20th high school reunion I confessed to a woman that I had a crush on her in 4th grade. You wouldn't think something like that would still horrify someone, but you'd be wrong.

And this sort of thing is why I would rather gnaw off a forearm than go around revealing crushes. (I mean probably if I literally had to choose whether or not to gnaw off a forearm, I would tell people I had crushes on them instead. At least if it was my forearm in question.)

People are always like "oh, Frowner, you are too risk-averse, you should totally [be the only fat person in the avant-garde fashion show/hop this train/ask someone out/go this event where you know no one], it will be awesome!!!" and then it's always a giant disaster. Other people may be able to pull off that whole joie-de-vivre adventuresome thing, but I am a boring Swedish-German-American from a long line of risk-averse pessimists who refuse to wear make-up or smile in photos, and it just never works for me. I am a niche commodity, and the odds of my average crush-object reciprocating instead of being embarrassed are pretty small.

A key moment for me? When I realized that if I asked this girl out and she didn't want to go out, she would feel awkward about participating in our shared group and I valued her presence there more than I valued the possibility of dating. That's when I realized that I was old.
posted by Frowner at 7:59 AM on May 2, 2014 [33 favorites]

You've seen me mooning

I suppose I really do know how you feel now.
posted by datawrangler at 8:00 AM on May 2, 2014

I read that at first as "you've seen me mooing." Which would fit with the "calf eyes" part, I guess.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:12 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

Followed by May 8th International Restraining Order day.

That's the 9th. The 8th is just International Day of Awkward Avoidance.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:16 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Q. I know someone who is constantly hooking up but doesn’t get into relationships. Is she quirkyalone?

A. Good question. If your friend’s standards for companionship are very high, but for a Saturday night fling, very low, she goes by another name. This person is a quirkyslut, and she should wear this title proudly.

Wow, cringe, yes..
posted by Philby at 8:17 AM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Has Morrissey told himself yet?
posted by tommasz at 8:17 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Finally, a sanctioned day for strangers/coworkers/anyone to make people feel awkward.
posted by Kitteh at 8:18 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

Wow, I'm practically dry heaving from sympathetic embarrassment just from the name of the site.

Are you a "QuirkyAlone?" Take our online quiz, then post the results to Facebook to let all your friends know!

Wait, you don't have any friends. Just take the test, view some targeted advertising, and cry. Alone.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:19 AM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

Oh boy, Charles Darwin and Beyonce are in for a big surprise!

The International Society for the Appreciation of Crushes recommends, whenever possible, to tell your crush in person.

......oh.
posted by barchan at 8:22 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Are you a "QuirkyAlone?"

The preferred label is "Erratic Eccentric".
posted by Slackermagee at 8:24 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

I hear you, barchan. I call it unrequited love, the law calls it "graverobbing."
posted by Kitteh at 8:25 AM on May 2, 2014 [17 favorites]

May 10th is however, Celebrate Your Glorious Solitude day. Events are to be held in secret, away from prying eyes.
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 AM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: a long line of risk-averse pessimists who refuse to wear make-up or smile in photos,
posted by The Whelk at 8:31 AM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

I am well married, fortunately, because I have reached the age where I have the choice between avuncular and creepy when dealing with people to which I am attracted.
posted by Danf at 8:33 AM on May 2, 2014

Does anyone have any suggestions for how I may tell Clarence BEEFTANK of my crush in person?
posted by ursus_comiter at 8:33 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Finally, a sanctioned day for strangers/coworkers/anyone to make people feel awkward.

Someone already did that to me on my way to work this morning, so.
posted by sweetkid at 8:35 AM on May 2, 2014

People are always like "oh, Frowner, you are too risk-averse, you should totally [be the only fat person in the avant-garde fashion show/hop this train/ask someone out/go this event where you know no one], it will be awesome!!!"

Same for me but it's always amusement parks that I'm being assured I will love.
posted by josher71 at 8:39 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Does anyone have any suggestions for how I may tell Clarence BEEFTANK of my crush in person?

Shall I compare thee to a football game?
Thou art more nimble and unstoppable.
Rough shoves do shake the darling boys at play
And BEEFTANK'S love hath all too short a date.
posted by griphus at 8:40 AM on May 2, 2014 [7 favorites]

CRUSH THEM. CRUSH THEM ALL.

CRUSH. KILL. DESTROY.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:45 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Why would you tell your crush? Crush, in the context of emotion, is glorious possibility, unrealized, perhaps, but also still plausible. Crush, another context, is a small photocell triggering a spring-loaded hammer to crush a pellet filled with poison. By telling your crush, you open the box and the cat is dead when you look inside. Hydrocyanic acid or no, perhaps the cat was always dead. It was dead going into the box. Someone put together this steel contraption and took the time to lay a dead cat inside, for you, you could not even smell the slow decay of something besides a radioactive pellet. Will you hear laughter? "Oh, you thought that I could actually—"? Now the stench has hit your nostrils and the roses you bought will not cover up the revulsion.

And you are standing there with a dead cat in a box.
posted by adipocere at 8:50 AM on May 2, 2014 [33 favorites]

Does anyone have any suggestions for how I may tell Clarence BEEFTANK of my crush in person?

Vivamus, mea BEEFTANK, atque amemus
rumoresque senum severiorum
omnes unius aestimemus assis.
posted by troika at 8:51 AM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

Why would you tell your crush?

Yeah, I've definitely had crushes on people I wouldn't actually want to tell, or even want to date for various reasons.
posted by sweetkid at 8:57 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: standing there with a dead cat in a box.
posted by Chrysostom at 8:58 AM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

I think octobersurprise has the right idea. Now I just need to figure out how to instantiate myself within Jon Bois' console...
posted by ursus_comiter at 9:00 AM on May 2, 2014

griphus: "The Official Sponsor of International Tell Your Crush Day."

Oi, fuck off! Quit tarnishing banjos with your stupid in-jokes!
posted by barnacles at 9:02 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

In-jokes, though, are frowned upon because they clutter the site and confuse those outside the MeFi community. Matt doesn't like them. In fact, he tends to delete them on a regular basis.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:03 AM on May 2, 2014

Batter my bod, Clarence BEEFTANK; for, you
As yet but shove, run, slam, and touch it down;
That I may rise, and stand, crash into me, and throw
Yourself, to break, snap, crunch and make me new.
posted by griphus at 9:04 AM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

I just never know what to do when people have revealed that they had a crush on me back in the day. I was apparently quite captivating a long time ago and I'm always like,

"Um, thank you?"
posted by Sophie1 at 9:06 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

It'll be interesting to keep an eye on last.fm/Spotify playback statistics on and immediately following this event, as the rejected and now bereft of (false) hope lick their wounds.
posted by acb at 9:14 AM on May 2, 2014

Thankfully Han from the Fast and Furious movies is both dead and fictional, so I don't have to worry about my wife taking advantage of this holiday.

You're just saying that because last night I said without thinking "I don't know what it is but I'm basically straight for Han." He's just so charming!

I also have platonic crushes on many MeFites including a bunch of my contacts and Bulgaroktonos is okay I GUESS.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:17 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also having crushes on people is one of my hobbies along with studying Esperanto and getting drunk so this day is really just a minefield for me.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:19 AM on May 2, 2014 [7 favorites]

Wow, this explains why my MeMail inbox is packed full!

ha ha
posted by Dip Flash at 9:25 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

Frowner: "I am a niche commodity, "

I think of you as a bold crayon in a pastel box.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:25 AM on May 2, 2014 [8 favorites]

Frowner: "I am a niche commodity, "

I prefer to say "Specialized taste".
posted by Dreidl at 9:34 AM on May 2, 2014

I just never know what to do when people have revealed that they had a crush on me back in the day. I was apparently quite captivating a long time ago and I'm always like,

"Um, thank you?"

Ah, to have such problems!
posted by josher71 at 9:46 AM on May 2, 2014

Mrs. Pterodactyl: Acxetu al vi trinki?
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:49 AM on May 2, 2014

Mrs. Pterodactyl: Acxetu al vi trinki?

To respond in the words of the famous Esperantist T-Pain: Mi portos vin hejmen kun mi.

T-Pain had to use Google Translate for that; mi estas komencanto.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

The Official Sponsor of International Tell Your Crush Day.

"You got a purty mouth."
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:01 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Thank you, Greg_Ace, for also thinking it was some sort of Deliverance reference.
posted by grumpybear69 at 10:03 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Finally, a sanctioned day for strangers/coworkers/anyone to make people feel awkward.

As opposed to every other unsanctioned day at work.
posted by arcticseal at 10:04 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm reminded of a conversation ten years ago, the only time someone ever admitted to having had a crush on me:

Her: You know, I had a crush on you when we first started hanging out a lot.
Me: Yeah? I had a crush on you, too.
Her: Ack! We could've been dating! That's so weird! Aren't you glad we never said anything?
Me: Nope.
*awkward silence*
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 10:13 AM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Why would you tell your crush?

Yeah, I've definitely had crushes on people I wouldn't actually want to tell, or even want to date for various reasons.


Being able to enjoy a crush without telling a person (the crush or anyone else for that matter) and without being a creep about it is maybe the sweetest pleasure of being a mature adult.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:14 AM on May 2, 2014 [12 favorites]

I'm with Area Man on this. For the love of god, don't tell. Especially don't tell me.

I generally think that if a person is going to be receptive to information like this, they should have been giving you flirty signals right off. (Of course, scientifically speaking, dudes assume that if the lady talks to them at all it's a flirty signal, so...crap.) If they don't already seem interested, this is just going to be awkward and painful if you say it.

I would rather eviscerate myself than confess to having a crush on someone where it's obviously unmutual, thanks.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:19 AM on May 2, 2014

Being able to enjoy a crush without telling a person (the crush or anyone else for that matter) and without being a creep about it is maybe the sweetest pleasure of being a mature adult.

Honestly, one of the nicest perks of being married is that I can flirt with my wife's friends without anyone thinking it's anything serious in the slightest.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:30 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

griphus: "" Don’t force a crush just to be able to tell someone you have a crush on them, but we bet if you think about it a bit more, you’ll remember that cute barista who works downtown, or that bike mechanic who fixed up your ride for you."

Coincidentally, May 7th is Cute Baristas Call In Sick Because They're Just Not Feeling Too Well, No Big Deal, They'll Probably Be Back Tomorrow It Feels Like A 24-hr Thing, Just Call In Steve He Still Owes Them A Day From Last Week When He Was Too Hung Over To Show Up."

Yeah - either I really really suck at this or I've learned that it's just a really bad idea to try to make friends (or more) with people who serve you in a professional capacity. That cute barista doesn't need you trying to mack on her. Whether it's truly just to get to know each other and maybe share common interests or romantic, it's just a bad idea. Makes it awkward all around. Just... no.
posted by symbioid at 10:30 AM on May 2, 2014

I confessed an old crush to a semi-professional acquaintance once (years later, after we no longer had any quasi-professional connection and he had moved four states away). He seemed flattered, but he didn't confess any reciprocal crush.
posted by aka burlap at 10:33 AM on May 2, 2014

?!

Tell Your Crush Day should be every day. I try to live out this belief by writing variably effusive fan letters to people I think are awesome on a regular basis -- not because I'm angling to hook up with them, but because there's something impossibly fascinating about every sentient being, and anyone with a healthy amount of respect for and a kind and supportive attitude toward their fellow life forms is inherently crushworthy and thus likely deserving to be told as much.

But the word "crush" means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and the combination of my attachment to its most platonic version, plus being single and female and decidedly weird-looking, can make this habit into a bit of a minefield. Occasional disasters aside, I can't recommend it enough; I'm a firm believer in the notion that we should all aspire to make people feel appreciated and adored more often. So if making an Official International Day of it nudges even a handful of people toward writing variably effusive fan letters to the people they admire, I'd call that a success.

GPOY, as the kids say.

If anyone wants a fan letter, just let me know.
posted by divined by radio at 10:43 AM on May 2, 2014

May 7th?! I haven't even celebreated the First of May yet! [NSFW] They need to switch these two dates around.

"I am a niche commodity, "
"I prefer to say "Specialized taste".

"I appeal to a small but influential demographic."
posted by Room 641-A at 10:45 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Sonja Henie. (sigh. too late.)
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:48 AM on May 2, 2014

Mrs. Pterodactyl: "Also having crushes on people is one of my hobbies along with studying Esperanto and getting drunk so this day is really just a minefield for me."

Believe me when I say to you... Life will not break your heart.... It'll CRUSH it!"
posted by symbioid at 10:49 AM on May 2, 2014

So how am I to get anything to Tom Hiddleston to tell him of my crush? Hmm?

Meh, I'm sure he'll be simply deluged anyway. :(
posted by droplet at 10:57 AM on May 2, 2014

So strange... I have a list of people I want to tell and have used linking to the site on FB as an excuse to tell them over message. Granted they're all people I'm already semi-flirtatious with and it's just another way to flirt. Hmmm... let me think if there's someone who probably doesn't know. Eep, yes. It's someone who I'm sort of mentoring through gender transition. That might be weird. Ok, now I understand. Carry on.
posted by mandonlym at 10:58 AM on May 2, 2014

I try to live out this belief by writing variably effusive fan letters to people I think are awesome on a regular basis -

I live this belief by writing tweets to famous people and then being scared to send them, then John Darnielle retweets someone else about that Oklahoma Satan statue and not me, and I get morose about it.

Your way seems good, too.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:59 AM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

So, there's this thing about some women, that they adopt a sort of flirty way of conversing with other women who are perceived as "safe"? And then you're in the middle of a conversation with them that goes sort of like:

"It's so great to meet somebody who I like so amazingly much so quickly."
"...really?"
"Yeah, there's this guy I met at this bar on Saturday..."

I don't do crushes anymore. It is, to be honest, safer to operate under the assumption that no, they do not in fact like you that way.
posted by Sequence at 11:00 AM on May 2, 2014

I'm in the Why Would We Need A Special Day camp - it is almost as if you guys have something agains awkwardness, rejection and having your hopes crushed.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:24 AM on May 2, 2014 [3 favorites]

"So, there's this thing about some women, that they adopt a sort of flirty way of conversing with other women who are perceived as "safe"?"

With me no one's safe. Bwahahahahaha. :)
posted by mandonlym at 11:28 AM on May 2, 2014

You had the right instinct, Bulgaroktonos, you just needed to believe in yourself more!
posted by aka burlap at 11:40 AM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

You've seen me mooning

I suppose I really do know how you feel now.

Oh my stars. I have actually descended so far into gadzookery that I forgot there was another definition for mooning.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 12:11 PM on May 2, 2014

All my secret crushes are service workers. There's a reason they're secret crushes. That reason is because I am neither rude nor dumb enough to ask out someone who is essentially chained to a cash register and paid to smile.
posted by hafehd at 12:15 PM on May 2, 2014 [12 favorites]

The above comment should, as a public service, be printed, cut out, and taped to all cash registers everywhere.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:29 PM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

Not like everything I do, depends on you.
posted by Chrysostom at 12:36 PM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Damn it.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:39 PM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Recognize the peril of attempting to escalate a friendship beyond appropriateness. We enjoy the scent and appearance of a flower, but neither for long if we indulge our urge to consume it.
posted by davejay at 1:07 PM on May 2, 2014 [2 favorites]

how many times do I have to tell you stay away from my begonias
posted by griphus at 1:25 PM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Welp davejay I sure am going to be reading all your comments in Mads Mikkelsen's voice for the foreseeable future.
posted by invitapriore at 1:52 PM on May 2, 2014

The proper way to tell your crush you like them is to send a serial killer after them this is courtship 101
posted by The Whelk at 1:56 PM on May 2, 2014

Remember that people who crush more get crushed on more.

The person running that site should have their advice license revoked.

Sounds like classic sympathetic magic.
posted by shothotbot at 2:06 PM on May 2, 2014

We have crush status in MeFi contacts, so we can have Crush Day whenever we want.
posted by theora55 at 2:11 PM on May 2, 2014

By saying this I'm perhaps invalidating my earlier comments on the sweet freedom that is being mature enough to have but not talk about a crush, but if I started setting the "crush" tag for all the mefites I have crushes on now, I might be done by May 7 but wouldn't promise it
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:43 PM on May 2, 2014

Remember that people who crush more get crushed on more.

by this logic Giles Corey must have been the town flirt
posted by elizardbits at 4:05 PM on May 2, 2014 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: Occasional disasters aside, I can't recommend it enough
posted by like_a_friend at 5:52 PM on May 2, 2014

Quirkyalone is bad enough. That people apparently pay for 'quirkyalone coaching' (tm)???

Words fail me.
posted by modernnomad at 6:14 PM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

Quirkyalone is bad enough. That people apparently pay for 'quirkyalone coaching' (tm)???

Be Happy! By Yourself! Yes, All By Yourself. Never, Never Admit to Loneliness. It is Not Quirky!

Be happy totally alone every single minute of being totally alone and if it gets you down for one second you are doing it wrong.
posted by sweetkid at 6:27 PM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm a firm believer in the notion that we should all aspire to make people feel appreciated and adored more often.

After having revealed my crush, I have never once felt appreciated or adored for it.
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:32 PM on May 2, 2014

Being able to enjoy a crush without telling a person (the crush or anyone else for that matter) and without being a creep about it is maybe the sweetest pleasure most exquisite agony of being a mature adult

FTFY
posted by acb at 6:35 PM on May 2, 2014 [6 favorites]

Quirkyalone is bad enough.

I prefer the edgier version, Snarkyalone.
posted by acb at 6:36 PM on May 2, 2014 [1 favorite]

If I felt comfortable telling my crushes, I wouldn't need a special day for it.
posted by bile and syntax at 8:05 PM on May 2, 2014

Someone on OKC recently told me they have had a crush on me for years and I have no idea who he is. It was weird. I ignored it.

I guess I'd be cool with this if just ignoring any confessions you receive if they aren't of any particular romantic interest to you was an option.

Or if celebrating by replaying some Christine Love games was considered appropriate.
posted by NoraReed at 8:33 PM on May 2, 2014

This is probably the best reaction I could possibly hope for from my TV crush.
posted by homunculus at 11:05 PM on May 2, 2014

I think someone revealed a crush to me once. I started to suspect it the next day, and I'm still not 100% sure.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:00 AM on May 7, 2014