REQUIEM FOR A FRONT PAGE POST - A Quinn Martin Production (In Color)

July 21, 2014 1:44 PM

15 Main Title Sequences From Quinn Martin TV Shows.

And the rest:

• The Untouchables
• Bert D'Angelo
• The Manhunter
• Not found: Caribe

BONUS 1: Quinn Martin spoof Police Squad!. (QM Productions VO actor Hank Simms was so iconic he was hired to do the Police Squad!.)

BONUS 2: Tonight's Episode

posted by Room 641-A (14 comments total)

Yes, kids, The Invaders was indeed catnip for 10-year-olds. I loved that show.

And the nascent graphic designer in me was always drawn to QM shows primarily because of the title graphics. They just felt...cooler...than anything else on tv.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:56 PM on July 21, 2014 [2 favorites]

From the Bonus 2 link:

They fail to mention the best part of "a Quinn Martin production": the episode titles. These were always laughably dramatic titles that:

1) used words like "gambit," "crucible," "caper" and others that no normal person ever used;
2) referenced mythological or Biblical figures (Judas, Damocles, Herod, Minerva);
3) used corny, clichéd metaphors (Web of Deceit, Nest of Scorpions);
4) frequently followed this simple formula: (noun) + "of" + (emotion) = score! (Triangle of Fear, Conspiracy of Terror).

I want to know what "Clown of Death" was about.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 2:09 PM on July 21, 2014 [3 favorites]

I want to know what "Clown of Death" was about.

OH, THAT GODDAMN CLOWN OF DEATH.

Sorry. It's a pretty basic Streets of San Francisco episode involving a traveling circus in town to perform at Cow Palace. An injured rigger ends up in the hospital, where he is murdered -- smothered, IIRC -- by someone dressed as a clown. His brother is the most likely suspect, but then the brother is murdered, too.

I never found out how it ended, or who was the killer. Because I was eight years old the night my parents and grandparents were watching SoSF at my grandparents' house, and as soon as I saw that hospital murder scene, I was freaking petrified. I didn't care to stick around for the context. Nope, I fled the room, and spent weeks convinced that clowns would just show up and smother you for no apparent reason.

Damn you to hell, Quinn Martin.

Not really. I just...had a problem with that episode. I guess I should have stayed on the couch and watched the damn thing.
posted by bakerina at 2:19 PM on July 21, 2014 [5 favorites]

Which clown dunnit?

Sorry, only sketchy details regarding Clown of Death at IMDB.

Bummer.
posted by Pudhoho at 2:27 PM on July 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah, same with Wikipedia. Killer dressed like a clown. Special Guest Star: David Birney. That's all the detail I'll ever have unless Netflix picks up SoSF.
posted by bakerina at 2:37 PM on July 21, 2014

I have a feeling Adam Reed might be a Quinn Martin fan. Just a hunch.
posted by Sys Rq at 3:01 PM on July 21, 2014 [2 favorites]

bakerina, you need to watch this.
posted by marienbad at 3:41 PM on July 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP NO NO NO NO NO.

I kid, of course. Killer Klowns made me laugh.
posted by bakerina at 3:47 PM on July 21, 2014

I'd say these inspired the awesome The Bishop title sequence from Monty Python.
posted by crapmatic at 4:04 PM on July 21, 2014 [1 favorite]

Those of you who are wondering how Clown of Death comes out can resort to YouTube.
posted by Nerd of the North at 4:08 PM on July 21, 2014 [2 favorites]

You've gotta love the dialog in that "Tales of the Unexpected":

Woman (to alien, beseechingly): We're not so different from you.

Alien (grabbing the sides of his head): You're murderous... you're parasites on the universe.

Woman (defiantly): There's nothing you can DO about it.

Pretty much sums up the human race, right there.
posted by spock at 4:48 PM on July 21, 2014 [2 favorites]

As someone who once attempted to jump over a car in the manner of "Dan August",
I can attest to the fact that it is not nearly as easy as it looks. "Antennae Of Death"
indeed! Props to Burt!
posted by Chitownfats at 2:31 AM on July 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Tonight's episode: Nest of Scorpions!
posted by gimonca at 6:00 AM on July 22, 2014

Act III
Henry VIII
posted by whuppy at 7:02 AM on July 22, 2014