Click and win!

August 3, 2014 8:08 PM

The best part of playing solitaire
posted by aubilenon (41 comments total)

YES FUCK YES!
posted by A Bad Catholic at 8:11 PM on August 3, 2014 [11 favorites]

Ha, I suspected what this would be before I clicked it and was not disappointed!
posted by town of cats at 8:16 PM on August 3, 2014

*clicks once, waits.*

*clicks again, watches.*

*clicks several more times really fast...*

*Cackles with insane glee!*
posted by Pudhoho at 8:18 PM on August 3, 2014 [7 favorites]

Heh.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:21 PM on August 3, 2014

Cheaters never win, people.

(I still play Freecell on my tablet and compete with my s/o for best times. She's usually able to win in under three minutes and rarely uses undo. I think sorcery is involved)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:23 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Now I'm going to … actually go play solitaire? What the hell.
posted by spitefulcrow at 8:24 PM on August 3, 2014 [4 favorites]

Hmm-- just click and hold, then move the mouse around. BOOM.

Is it weird that this is the first example I've seen that really brings home how much javascript has improved in speed? :)
posted by Static Vagabond at 8:25 PM on August 3, 2014 [18 favorites]

> clicks several more times really fast

Try clicking and holding, and slowly dragging your pointer...oooh, ahhhh.
posted by dylanjames at 8:25 PM on August 3, 2014 [6 favorites]

I clicked five times and did not win.

LAME.
posted by eriko at 8:35 PM on August 3, 2014

Maybe you didn't click hard enough
posted by aubilenon at 8:40 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

hm, think it maybe just isn't working in chrome on linux.....
posted by kaibutsu at 8:43 PM on August 3, 2014

I want one with money, 100 dollar bills, and silver dollars bouncing around.
posted by quazichimp at 8:43 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

I watched it, thought, "Cute!" Then clicked away, then went back and watched some more, and now I want to do nothing but watch this all night long.
posted by xingcat at 8:46 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Soooo good on the iphone to mash your finger around
posted by wcfields at 8:47 PM on August 3, 2014 [4 favorites]

Aaaaaaaand, I found another use for this, which is Cat Hypnotizer.
posted by xingcat at 8:52 PM on August 3, 2014 [9 favorites]

Some weird part of my brain was always bugged by the fact that parts of the screen were always left uncovered by the bouncing card trails, so I started shrinking the window down to the smallest size in which the tableau and deck weren't hidden and playing games just to get a win in which the window was completely covered.

I finally managed one, and then got a couple more. At that point, I considered medication and forced myself to stop.

I bet those screen caps are still around somewhere.
posted by Ickster at 8:53 PM on August 3, 2014 [6 favorites]

You can also use the palm of your hand. I knew there was a reason I bought an iPad.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:54 PM on August 3, 2014

this is far more fun than it had any right to be.
posted by el io at 8:56 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh my god. Fun on the desktop, but way more fun on the iPad.
posted by jacquilynne at 9:02 PM on August 3, 2014

I didn't see the point until i tried all ten fingers at once on the iPad. I've never wanted more fingers so much in my life.
posted by rocket88 at 9:25 PM on August 3, 2014 [6 favorites]

That is way more fun than it should be.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:36 PM on August 3, 2014

I didn't see the point until i tried all ten fingers at once on the iPad. I've never wanted more fingers so much in my life.

The new reason to procreate. (The old one was to have someone to change the channel for you.)
posted by dawg-proud at 9:38 PM on August 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

My God, it's full of Spades... !
posted by mazola at 9:38 PM on August 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Galloping fingers accross the ipad - my new hobby         horse
posted by Kerasia at 9:41 PM on August 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

the real best part of playing solitaire is shuffling the cards after another bad play and thinking Wow, out of all the ways I could have spent my time, this is the one I chose, and then putting the pack back into the box and throwing it into the sea
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:42 PM on August 3, 2014 [16 favorites]

"then putting the pack back into the box and throwing it into the sea"

OR - and I'm just saying here - OR you could teach your credulous younger cousins how to play solitaire and base sleeping arrangements on whether or not they can "win" and thusly ensure yourself an entire week's worth of the bed at the summer house instead of the floor.

Not that I was the credulous younger cousin or anything.

And not that basically the same thing happened with War and Bullshit. And then with Risk and Axis & Allies. When we got to Hearts my mother stepped in.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:24 PM on August 3, 2014 [5 favorites]

It's...
rai...
ning...
cards! Hallelujah, it's raining cards!
posted by ApathyGirl at 10:25 PM on August 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

If I gently click near the bottom of my screen, I get single cards just smoooothly sliding off screen.
posted by Ik ben afgesneden at 10:28 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Anybody else have trouble closing their tab? Mine says I have to pick them all back up again before I can leave.
posted by dhartung at 10:34 PM on August 3, 2014 [9 favorites]

The sad thing is, this is duplicating an old version of Solitaire. I don't think this version has been included with Windows since, what, XP?
posted by JHarris at 10:37 PM on August 3, 2014

When can you start buying auto-clickers? I want to get to the solitaire-playing grannies.
posted by darksasami at 10:40 PM on August 3, 2014 [6 favorites]

This works in Opera Mini with images disabled and the highest compression mode enabled. This is truly black magic.
posted by Yowser at 11:03 PM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

The sad thing is, this is duplicating an old version of Solitaire. I don't think this version has been included with Windows since, what, XP?

Yeah, they fricking shake hands these days. Shake hands? What kind of communist madness is this? I wanna see goddamn cards cascase when I win Solitaire.
posted by Cannon Fodder at 11:46 PM on August 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

Is it weird that this is the first example I've seen that really brings home how much javascript has improved in speed? :)

I was thinking, nah, that's probably CSS3 transforms to get that performance, and nope, it is a javascript driven canvas. Crickey.
posted by ArkhanJG at 12:40 AM on August 4, 2014

why was that so satisfying?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 3:31 AM on August 4, 2014

Some weird part of my brain was always bugged by the fact that parts of the screen were always left uncovered by the bouncing card trails...

Yes. This site released a little knot of tension that I didn't realise I'd been carrying at the back of my mind for the last two decades.
posted by metaBugs at 3:58 AM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Omg such joy!

Ooo! ooo! Next they need to do one of minesweeper where I click the last square and it's not a mine and I win!!
posted by kimberussell at 6:12 AM on August 4, 2014 [4 favorites]

JHarris: It is not sad, it is triumphant. XP was the perfect operating system. Everything
before it was rickety, brittle, and kludgy, everything since has been facile and frustrating.
XP's solitaire was the perfect ... I guess what you young folks would call an "app" *cue
avuncular, indulgent chuckle*.
posted by Chitownfats at 7:05 AM on August 4, 2014 [1 favorite]

Wheeeee!
posted by tizzie at 8:22 AM on August 4, 2014

This works in Opera Mini with images disabled and the highest compression mode enabled. This is truly black magic.

The image data for the cards is a PNG that's inlined into the script using a data: URL with base64 encoding such that there is nothing external to fetch.
posted by Rhomboid at 10:04 AM on August 4, 2014 [2 favorites]

cuthalion you are a superior human being
posted by kjh at 7:10 AM on August 5, 2014 [2 favorites]