SORRY, I'M DEAD.
August 13, 2014 10:16 PM Subscribe
Chronicler of the gross and creepy Bogleech presents a look at the bosses of classic NES weirdfest Monster Party and the sprites recently discovered in a ROM dump from a Japanese prototype cart.
Monster Party is rather underrated I think, although as I say this I have no desire to play it again.
posted by JHarris at 12:59 AM on August 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 12:59 AM on August 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
One time when I was five or six years old I got real sick with the flu and had to stay home from school, but I was too young to leave home alone. My father was a Lutheran pastor, and he took me to church with him and set me up with my Nintendo and a TV in one of those weird, sparsely decorated rooms that churches have for meetings. The only ROM I had was Monster Party. I blasted through the Shrimp Attack and the Giant Cow Man and the whole parade of uncanny, nonsensical lesser enemies such as animated pants.
Eventually, probably sometime in the early afternoon, I got to this one boss, these two zombies that just stood there and danced and didn't attack you. I tried everything. Every weapon I could find I hurled at those bastard zombies and they wouldn't fucking die (again). I left and wandered around the level to see if there was some secret weapon I had missed or some other way around those shimmying shades, and nothing worked. At the time I was a pretty violent kid, and I remember that for at least thirty minutes I hit them with my bat (or whatever) out of sheer dogged frustration and they just refused to let me win. Eventually I gave up in disgust and despair, preferring to do God knows what in a bleak room in church, miserable with a fever and a sore throat.
Well lo and behold I read later in Nintendo Power that the way you beat them is by just letting them dance peacefully. That's all they wanted: an audience. No violence necessary. Good one, Jesus, good one.
posted by mister-o at 4:05 AM on August 14, 2014 [29 favorites]
Eventually, probably sometime in the early afternoon, I got to this one boss, these two zombies that just stood there and danced and didn't attack you. I tried everything. Every weapon I could find I hurled at those bastard zombies and they wouldn't fucking die (again). I left and wandered around the level to see if there was some secret weapon I had missed or some other way around those shimmying shades, and nothing worked. At the time I was a pretty violent kid, and I remember that for at least thirty minutes I hit them with my bat (or whatever) out of sheer dogged frustration and they just refused to let me win. Eventually I gave up in disgust and despair, preferring to do God knows what in a bleak room in church, miserable with a fever and a sore throat.
Well lo and behold I read later in Nintendo Power that the way you beat them is by just letting them dance peacefully. That's all they wanted: an audience. No violence necessary. Good one, Jesus, good one.
posted by mister-o at 4:05 AM on August 14, 2014 [29 favorites]
I really miss the era of video games that knew you had to have something called narrative, but didn't seem to give a shit about what that meant.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:22 AM on August 14, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 5:22 AM on August 14, 2014 [6 favorites]
This was a delightful read. Thanks for the post.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:42 AM on August 14, 2014
posted by Going To Maine at 7:42 AM on August 14, 2014
That narrative, as illustrated by Zac Gorman.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 9:33 AM on August 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by knuckle tattoos at 9:33 AM on August 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by barnacles at 10:55 PM on August 13, 2014 [1 favorite]