Binders full of women
September 14, 2014 2:35 AM Subscribe
They have a very sexy cow in Murky Waters, the tiny, rural village you find yourself in for the duration of Chapter 4. The peasants are devoted to their cow, and dedicate themselves to her every need, guarding her jealously and evangelising about her voluptuous udder. They seem to take less care of their daughters, who keep wandering off and getting killed. Quick, better screw some of them first!Kate Simpson is collecting all the ladycards in The Witcher: part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. (The Witcher, for those who don't know, gave the player collectable trading cards for each character they ahem "romanced".)
I was vaguely aware that The Witcher involved cards of women you've slept with, and naively assumed that there were only 7 cards and each of them were interesting enough for an individual entry. I was very wrong. There are 20 cards, and many of them are unnamed. Also many hinge on gift giving first. Ugh.
posted by neonrev at 3:56 AM on September 14, 2014
posted by neonrev at 3:56 AM on September 14, 2014
Surely in the time it took to win every "romance" card a person would be able to arrange and go on an actual date? Maybe two or three?
The descriptions in the first section (all that I could handle reading) sound hideous, though she is writing for laughs. For what kind of misguided person is this game element actually compelling? Ugh indeed.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:21 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
The descriptions in the first section (all that I could handle reading) sound hideous, though she is writing for laughs. For what kind of misguided person is this game element actually compelling? Ugh indeed.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:21 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
You don't get to stuff your pockets full of drowner brains on a date.
posted by clarknova at 5:44 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by clarknova at 5:44 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
I want to see a picture of the cow.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:07 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 6:07 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
At least Leisure Suit Larry had in game risks to his dalliances with the parade of NPC conquests.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:10 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by clvrmnky at 6:10 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: You don't get to stuff your pockets full of drowner brains on a date.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:18 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by cjorgensen at 7:18 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I didn't know about this, and during my brief foray into the Witcher I didn't try to sleep with people because that's the kind of weirdo I am. Now I do know, and am sad.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:19 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:19 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
You are fucking kidding me.
No, videogames don't have a misogynistic culture around them, why do you ask?
posted by Legomancer at 7:20 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
No, videogames don't have a misogynistic culture around them, why do you ask?
posted by Legomancer at 7:20 AM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
Huh - I haven't played the first Witcher so I didn't realize it was that bad/ridiculous. Perhaps the second was, too?
I was honestly surprised to see just a smidge of pubic hair in the one sex scene in Witcher2. The sex scene wasn't, IIRC, that offensive in terms of being a sex scene in and of itself, though I'm sure it is predicated upon the Male Gaze.
Now - perhaps there were other sex scenes that I either don't remember or were hidden away from me. But I really don't recall any other sex scenes in the second game.
As a game I can't say I know what the first one was like, though I heard it was great in terms of play/mechanics, but the second was even better? The third looks unbelievably amazing.
I looked it up - apparently 5 "romanceable" characters in Witcher 2, so I must have not been playing that way...
posted by symbioid at 7:23 AM on September 14, 2014
I was honestly surprised to see just a smidge of pubic hair in the one sex scene in Witcher2. The sex scene wasn't, IIRC, that offensive in terms of being a sex scene in and of itself, though I'm sure it is predicated upon the Male Gaze.
Now - perhaps there were other sex scenes that I either don't remember or were hidden away from me. But I really don't recall any other sex scenes in the second game.
As a game I can't say I know what the first one was like, though I heard it was great in terms of play/mechanics, but the second was even better? The third looks unbelievably amazing.
I looked it up - apparently 5 "romanceable" characters in Witcher 2, so I must have not been playing that way...
posted by symbioid at 7:23 AM on September 14, 2014
Surely in the time it took to win every "romance" card a person would be able to arrange and go on an actual date? Maybe two or three?
You're assuming that the purpose of this game mechanic is the same as the purpose of actual romance, which is debatable. I mean, you might as well say "surely you could go do some actual swordfighting instead of pretending to do it in a video game", or "surely you could go race some real cars..."
Which isn't to say that this game mechanic isn't super gross, of course. I appreciate this blogger playing Witcher so I don't have to. I really hate the culture around my entertainment of choice sometimes. Often.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:35 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
You're assuming that the purpose of this game mechanic is the same as the purpose of actual romance, which is debatable. I mean, you might as well say "surely you could go do some actual swordfighting instead of pretending to do it in a video game", or "surely you could go race some real cars..."
Which isn't to say that this game mechanic isn't super gross, of course. I appreciate this blogger playing Witcher so I don't have to. I really hate the culture around my entertainment of choice sometimes. Often.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:35 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
The Witcher sounds horrendous, but the ladycards series is a smart and hilarious read. Thanks for posting.
posted by tickingclock at 7:40 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tickingclock at 7:40 AM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
The Witcher is the most straightforward example that in gaming culture, 'adult' means 'for 15 year old boys'.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 7:46 AM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by Pyrogenesis at 7:46 AM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
So for waking up on a Sunday morning, the juxtaposition of this:
They have a very sexy cow in Murky Waters...
And this:
Physically, intellectually and emotionally, cows are far more complex than we give them credit for.
... on the front page... amazing. I'm speechless. No real comment I just wanted to point this out.
Carry on
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:54 AM on September 14, 2014 [9 favorites]
They have a very sexy cow in Murky Waters...
And this:
Physically, intellectually and emotionally, cows are far more complex than we give them credit for.
... on the front page... amazing. I'm speechless. No real comment I just wanted to point this out.
Carry on
posted by JoeXIII007 at 7:54 AM on September 14, 2014 [9 favorites]
Just as some backstory on this, my understanding is the books were incredibly popular in Poland long before the video game developers (also Polish) made the game. I've only read the first of the books, and I'd agree with one reviewer who noted that "All of the female characters (save one) were evil or naked or in some cases both." But it's not as gross as TFA suggests the game is--cursed women and doomed love are much more prevalent than random hook-ups--and I would rate the book favorably in comparison to, say, Warhammer novels, with which it has a lot in common. But the developers were certainly picking up on some elements/subtext that are not hard to get from it, and I'd guess the decision to go further with that stuff stemmed partly from run-of-the-mill video game sexism and partly from turning linear stories with problematic characteristics into games with choices that allow even more problematic outcomes.
posted by Monsieur Caution at 7:55 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Monsieur Caution at 7:55 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'd never heard of The Witcher until this post but I was sure it was going to be a Japanese eroge. Nope. Polish. That's what I get for thinking (perhaps the cow should have been a tip-off).
posted by MikeMc at 7:56 AM on September 14, 2014
posted by MikeMc at 7:56 AM on September 14, 2014
My best theory about the Witcher is that there was one guy on the dev team who thought he was designing a hentai game, and all of the other members thought it was too funny not to tell him that he wasn't.
posted by Mitrovarr at 8:19 AM on September 14, 2014 [19 favorites]
posted by Mitrovarr at 8:19 AM on September 14, 2014 [19 favorites]
The approach taken by eroge is usually less problematic than The Witcher's because, in that genre, each of your love interests is routinely given a separate plot track with their own ending; if you want to bed them all, you need to restart the game once for each. That means that, however objectified the character might be, they are also the subject of their own story, not a bonus.
Not to say that there's anything intrinsically wrong with including optional sexual encounters. They just have their own problems the writers need to address, which CD Projekt clearly did not.
posted by LogicalDash at 8:23 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
Not to say that there's anything intrinsically wrong with including optional sexual encounters. They just have their own problems the writers need to address, which CD Projekt clearly did not.
posted by LogicalDash at 8:23 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
I just went on reading to see what other names she was going to find for him. I finally lost it at 16 ("Golfclap").
Still laughing!
posted by Omnomnom at 8:46 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Still laughing!
posted by Omnomnom at 8:46 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
The weird part is how good a game The Witcher 2 is. It's like they realized "oh shit we made a hugely popular game, we better stop being assholes."
posted by Justinian at 9:07 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 9:07 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
Artw: ""How bad can it be?" (spoilers)"
Wow. I had no idea it was that bad.
posted by dejah420 at 9:11 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Wow. I had no idea it was that bad.
posted by dejah420 at 9:11 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Those are pretty ... subtle.
posted by ChuraChura at 9:16 AM on September 14, 2014
posted by ChuraChura at 9:16 AM on September 14, 2014
Despite "Sexcards: the creepening", the Witcher is a pretty good game. I'm glad they decided to ditch the cards in the sequel.
posted by Pendragon at 9:22 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Pendragon at 9:22 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
The Prime Minister of Poland gave President Obama a copy of The Witcher 2 as a state gift. I wonder if Obama went Scoia'tael or not?
posted by Justinian at 9:43 AM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 9:43 AM on September 14, 2014 [4 favorites]
Artw: ""How bad can it be?" (spoilers)"
Wow. I had no idea it was that bad.
I don't know, maybe the internet has deadened my sensibilities, but the cards themselves are merely hilariously tacky. They don't seem far removed from the average "glamour/boudoir photo" in attitude, albeit with somewhat less clothing and a sensibility derived from trying to copy illustrations from the D&D manual... but with genitals. But, even the one with the woman in a collar and chain isn't particularly degrading, as these things go.
The badness is really in the logic of the game... other than bad taste.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:21 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Wow. I had no idea it was that bad.
I don't know, maybe the internet has deadened my sensibilities, but the cards themselves are merely hilariously tacky. They don't seem far removed from the average "glamour/boudoir photo" in attitude, albeit with somewhat less clothing and a sensibility derived from trying to copy illustrations from the D&D manual... but with genitals. But, even the one with the woman in a collar and chain isn't particularly degrading, as these things go.
The badness is really in the logic of the game... other than bad taste.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:21 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Well, to render a fully informed opinion, I feel like I need to see the cards of the twenty hot, naked dudes that I'd made it with. For research.
Sorry...just stumbled on that Oglaf site this week and it has me a little worked up.
posted by darkstar at 10:35 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sorry...just stumbled on that Oglaf site this week and it has me a little worked up.
posted by darkstar at 10:35 AM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sorry...just stumbled on that Oglaf site this week and it has me a little worked up.
someone needs to make Oglaf, the MMORG.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:48 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
someone needs to make Oglaf, the MMORG.
posted by ennui.bz at 10:48 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
someone needs to make Oglaf, the MMORG.
That might just pull me back into MMORPGs.
I'd probably roll a delusionist - I know it'd go well.
posted by dragoon at 11:10 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
That might just pull me back into MMORPGs.
I'd probably roll a delusionist - I know it'd go well.
posted by dragoon at 11:10 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
On the continued subject of the one guy on the dev team who thought he was making a hentai game (who I will refer to as "Hentai Joe"), the Witcher actually goes into elaborate justifications for why random women are lining up to bang the protagonist. Apparently, Witchers go through some sort of magical mutation process, which freezes their body in a kind of stasis. It makes them immune to all diseases, but it also makes them infertile (nothing incredibly convenient about that combination of attributes). Between that and the general lifestyle of a traveling monster-hunting mercenary, Witchers end up being treated as no-consequence lays by the population. Which would make them pretty popular in a world in which antibiotics and good contraception haven't been invented yet.
It's actually sort of clever, in a demented kind of way, and I'd congratulate Hentai Joe on his creativity if I wasn't certain all of that was exactly the same in the books.
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:13 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
It's actually sort of clever, in a demented kind of way, and I'd congratulate Hentai Joe on his creativity if I wasn't certain all of that was exactly the same in the books.
posted by Mitrovarr at 11:13 AM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Seriously, are there no pictures of this cow? Will nobody satisfy the needs of specialized perverts?
This is the only picture I can find, and it is frankly not explaining the appeal to me. Just look at that droopy udder.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 11:18 AM on September 14, 2014
This is the only picture I can find, and it is frankly not explaining the appeal to me. Just look at that droopy udder.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 11:18 AM on September 14, 2014
Wikipedia says that "The game's system of "moral choices" as part of the storyline was noted for its time-delayed consequences and lack of black-and-white morality."
In what sense it was 'noted' for that, it doesn't say.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:46 AM on September 14, 2014
In what sense it was 'noted' for that, it doesn't say.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:46 AM on September 14, 2014
Kadin2048: Wikipedia says that "The game's system of "moral choices" as part of the storyline was noted for its time-delayed consequences and lack of black-and-white morality."
In what sense it was 'noted' for that, it doesn't say.
It sort of has that. It has two factions, neither of which is really good or evil, and you can support one (or not). If I remember correctly, one is a bunch of religious knights who've taken over monster-killing duties from the Witchers (who were mostly exterminated before events of the game take place) and they even do it for free, but they're shitty and oppressive to non-humans. Or you can help the non-humans violently overthrow human oppression. Alternately, you can be neutral in the conflict, which is apparently what Witchers normally do (in order to not be caught up in local disputes, which would interfere with their monster-hunting duties). Of course, this doesn't really endear you to either side.
It's even written into the character, as the mutations a Witcher takes on are fairly significant and cause regular people (and themselves, sometimes) to regard them as non-human or even as monsters. So part of picking a side can represent whether the main character considers himself to be truly human.
Not the entire game was written by Hentai Joe.
posted by Mitrovarr at 12:01 PM on September 14, 2014 [9 favorites]
In what sense it was 'noted' for that, it doesn't say.
It sort of has that. It has two factions, neither of which is really good or evil, and you can support one (or not). If I remember correctly, one is a bunch of religious knights who've taken over monster-killing duties from the Witchers (who were mostly exterminated before events of the game take place) and they even do it for free, but they're shitty and oppressive to non-humans. Or you can help the non-humans violently overthrow human oppression. Alternately, you can be neutral in the conflict, which is apparently what Witchers normally do (in order to not be caught up in local disputes, which would interfere with their monster-hunting duties). Of course, this doesn't really endear you to either side.
It's even written into the character, as the mutations a Witcher takes on are fairly significant and cause regular people (and themselves, sometimes) to regard them as non-human or even as monsters. So part of picking a side can represent whether the main character considers himself to be truly human.
Not the entire game was written by Hentai Joe.
posted by Mitrovarr at 12:01 PM on September 14, 2014 [9 favorites]
Oh my goodness, that link to the actual cards is so a million times better than the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Players Handbook, says my 15-year-old self.
posted by lagomorphius at 12:21 PM on September 14, 2014
posted by lagomorphius at 12:21 PM on September 14, 2014
I believe those are the European Version of the game's cards. The US version was censored. What's that you ask? Oh, no, it still had the cards it just didn't show the boobs; they were covered by clothes and such. Because the problematic aspect clearly wasn't the cards themselves it was the occasional exposed nipple.
posted by Justinian at 12:24 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Justinian at 12:24 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
My husband and I actually played through this whole game with me looking over his shoulder and really enjoyed it! The US cards are less...nude? Because that's what the US market needs to feel OK about collecting women like Pokemons, apparently. And the game in general has a lot of moral ambiguity and situations where all the choices are crap choices and no matter what you do everything continues to suck in-game. And, yes, it's definitely made clear that Geralt is basically just seen as a convenient consequences-free fuck by many of the women in the game, since as a witcher he's known to be both disease-free and infertile (as well as extremely ripped, a bad boy, someone who's seen a bit of the world, etc...definitely a cut above the random drunkards and losers who seem to populate the tiny medieval towns in which much of the game takes place). He shows up in town and it's like moths to a half-starved, scarred, taciturn-when-he-isn't-being-sarcastic flame. There are at least a few cases where the women are clearly using him as much as he's using them, to the point where if I had been Geralt I would've felt weird about it. Geralt is kind of a mopey emo dude in general so this isn't a huge stretch. The "seductions" are a complete joke in a lot of cases too...very transactional. From both sides.
While we were playing it we kept being like, "I don't even know if I'm offended by this! This feels so far removed from any kind of American dialogue about women in games!" Like, trading cards? For reals? It just felt completely out of left field in some ways. At the end I think our primary reaction was "This is what it's like when people from an Eastern European country make a computer game, I guess!" The game just felt foreign compared to what you'd see in a game from North America or Japan. I guess we're used to how game developers in those cultures disrespect women but this flavor of disrespect for women felt really novel and unusual since we had very little context for it.
In conclusion, I agree that this is totally unconscionable, but in context it just feels like something random and strange that matches with a lot of other random, strange stuff about this game. I don't know if I'm defending the game or not, even. I had a good time playing it and thought it was an unusual sort of cultural document. I just can't imagine anything like it coming out of the US games industry. I CAN imagine someone in the US games industry coming up with the women as trading cards idea and then I can imagine their marketing and legal teams being like "LOL LOL LOL nope, that is not something we can get away with, try again!"
posted by town of cats at 1:25 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
While we were playing it we kept being like, "I don't even know if I'm offended by this! This feels so far removed from any kind of American dialogue about women in games!" Like, trading cards? For reals? It just felt completely out of left field in some ways. At the end I think our primary reaction was "This is what it's like when people from an Eastern European country make a computer game, I guess!" The game just felt foreign compared to what you'd see in a game from North America or Japan. I guess we're used to how game developers in those cultures disrespect women but this flavor of disrespect for women felt really novel and unusual since we had very little context for it.
In conclusion, I agree that this is totally unconscionable, but in context it just feels like something random and strange that matches with a lot of other random, strange stuff about this game. I don't know if I'm defending the game or not, even. I had a good time playing it and thought it was an unusual sort of cultural document. I just can't imagine anything like it coming out of the US games industry. I CAN imagine someone in the US games industry coming up with the women as trading cards idea and then I can imagine their marketing and legal teams being like "LOL LOL LOL nope, that is not something we can get away with, try again!"
posted by town of cats at 1:25 PM on September 14, 2014 [7 favorites]
From the above link about Strawberry, the village's prized cow - apparently at some point you get the choice to steak her for a sacrifice on some dragon-dagon infested isle.
It is really too bad at this point that the game animation does not show Geralt with Strawberry in the boat, that would truly be hilarious.
posted by maryr at 1:33 PM on September 14, 2014
It is really too bad at this point that the game animation does not show Geralt with Strawberry in the boat, that would truly be hilarious.
posted by maryr at 1:33 PM on September 14, 2014
Also, you have to kill Strawberry. Strawberry is the game's weighted companion cube.
posted by maryr at 1:34 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by maryr at 1:34 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
A random monster god's gotta eat.
posted by maryr at 2:15 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by maryr at 2:15 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
Monsieur Caution: "I would rate the book favorably in comparison to, say, Warhammer novels, with which it has a lot in common"
Dude, I wrote a Warhammer novel in which the protagonist spends an entire chapter lying naked in freezing mud in the middle of a forest feeling sorry for himself. The Witcher wouldn't do that, he'd be too busy giving berries to a passing tree-spirit in the hope she'd put out, which she would.
posted by Hogshead at 3:13 PM on September 14, 2014 [10 favorites]
Dude, I wrote a Warhammer novel in which the protagonist spends an entire chapter lying naked in freezing mud in the middle of a forest feeling sorry for himself. The Witcher wouldn't do that, he'd be too busy giving berries to a passing tree-spirit in the hope she'd put out, which she would.
posted by Hogshead at 3:13 PM on September 14, 2014 [10 favorites]
he'd be too busy giving berries to a passing tree-spirit in the hope she'd put out, which she would
Ah but the passing tree spirit would turn out to be a manifestation of Tzeentch and The Witcher would find himself being conflicted. Fuck it again or kill it? This decision will have ramifications later in the game.
posted by MikeMc at 3:24 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
Ah but the passing tree spirit would turn out to be a manifestation of Tzeentch and The Witcher would find himself being conflicted. Fuck it again or kill it? This decision will have ramifications later in the game.
posted by MikeMc at 3:24 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
The actual morality of the Witcher was as grimy and cynical as you'd guess from the cards, but their one simple twist on normal game morality systems - deferred ramifications - really put an powerful kick in the standard issue grimdark ethical dilemmas. Suddenly you can't reload saves to casually explore different paths because the consequence you're now facing is from a choice you made several hours ago, usually without recognising how important it would turn out to be and always lacking some crucial piece of context that unfolds in a way that makes a mockery of your kneejerk assumptions. You become genuinely torn by decisions even as the game gradually vivisects your moral principles on a slab.
Their treatment of women and masculinity always seemed so jarring compared to the deftness with which they handled right and wrong. Unfortunately, knowing the video game scene, I wouldn't be surprised to find that they inherited the best aspects from the books and just added more combat and sex in their treatment.
posted by forgetful snow at 3:28 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
Their treatment of women and masculinity always seemed so jarring compared to the deftness with which they handled right and wrong. Unfortunately, knowing the video game scene, I wouldn't be surprised to find that they inherited the best aspects from the books and just added more combat and sex in their treatment.
posted by forgetful snow at 3:28 PM on September 14, 2014 [3 favorites]
someone needs to make Oglaf, the MMORG.
I think it would go something like this. NSFW, obviously.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:37 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think it would go something like this. NSFW, obviously.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:37 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
I must say, looking at those cards again, it finally hit me: Thomas Kinkade.
posted by lagomorphius at 3:41 PM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by lagomorphius at 3:41 PM on September 14, 2014 [5 favorites]
Huh - I haven't played the first Witcher so I didn't realize it was that bad/ridiculous. Perhaps the second was, too?
I just finished The Witcher 2 an hour ago, funnily enough. All of the women you can talk to are (usually scantily clad) seductresses with one exception, "The Virgin of Aedirn", no kidding. And the game of course has the NPCs making plenty of crude jokes about her. Several of the seductresses had their way with me, of course, I think it was five. No sex cards in this game, though, and no gifts -- Geralt woos the ladies strictly with the art of conversation, that or rescuing them from something. I wonder if the ladies of The Witcher 3 will express their gratitude in the same way.
It's all utterly reductive and even misogynist from beginning to end, but I loved it. I got to be, not just Geralt, but a certain kind of man, one who views the world this way -- powerful women are scheming bitches who will get put in their place eventually, regular women are vending machines who sometimes dispense sex. It was all very interesting. I'm a female PC gamer, but I don't play MMOs, so I read something like this and I believe it, but I don't get it. But this game makes it all clear. I just imagine the intended audience for The Witcher 2, all internet-trollified. The most powerful group of women in the game *spoiler alert* get raped in the end, and there is a kind of person who would not see that as not immersion-breaking unnecessary horribleness.
The point of a role-playing game is to step outside your ordinary experience and play a character, and The Witcher 2 sure did that for me.
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 3:55 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
I just finished The Witcher 2 an hour ago, funnily enough. All of the women you can talk to are (usually scantily clad) seductresses with one exception, "The Virgin of Aedirn", no kidding. And the game of course has the NPCs making plenty of crude jokes about her. Several of the seductresses had their way with me, of course, I think it was five. No sex cards in this game, though, and no gifts -- Geralt woos the ladies strictly with the art of conversation, that or rescuing them from something. I wonder if the ladies of The Witcher 3 will express their gratitude in the same way.
It's all utterly reductive and even misogynist from beginning to end, but I loved it. I got to be, not just Geralt, but a certain kind of man, one who views the world this way -- powerful women are scheming bitches who will get put in their place eventually, regular women are vending machines who sometimes dispense sex. It was all very interesting. I'm a female PC gamer, but I don't play MMOs, so I read something like this and I believe it, but I don't get it. But this game makes it all clear. I just imagine the intended audience for The Witcher 2, all internet-trollified. The most powerful group of women in the game *spoiler alert* get raped in the end, and there is a kind of person who would not see that as not immersion-breaking unnecessary horribleness.
The point of a role-playing game is to step outside your ordinary experience and play a character, and The Witcher 2 sure did that for me.
posted by pH Indicating Socks at 3:55 PM on September 14, 2014 [2 favorites]
forgetful snow: "You become genuinely torn by decisions even as the game gradually vivisects your moral principles on a slab."
The main thing I took away from The Witcher's Difficult Moral Choices is that you will choose wrong, many people will suffer needlessly because of it and everything is fucked no matter what you do. It's quite liberating, in a way - when there are no right decisions, there are also no wrong ones.
Can't wait for Witcher 3. The (spoiler) are coming, and it's going to be a horrific bloodbath.
posted by vanar sena at 11:14 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
The main thing I took away from The Witcher's Difficult Moral Choices is that you will choose wrong, many people will suffer needlessly because of it and everything is fucked no matter what you do. It's quite liberating, in a way - when there are no right decisions, there are also no wrong ones.
Can't wait for Witcher 3. The (spoiler) are coming, and it's going to be a horrific bloodbath.
posted by vanar sena at 11:14 PM on September 14, 2014 [1 favorite]
Imagine how bad "Thomas Covenant, the game" would be.
posted by Omnomnom at 12:47 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Omnomnom at 12:47 AM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
I just finished playing through The Witcher a couple of weeks ago, and while I didn't have Geralt take many women up on their offers, the times he did "romance" someone were hilariously cheesy. (The first card you get -- Triss, lounging on a bed with a black cat strategically placed between her legs -- made me laugh out loud. The cat, honestly -- real subtle, game designers!)
posted by sarcasticah at 7:50 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by sarcasticah at 7:50 AM on September 15, 2014
Am I the only person who doesn't play videogames in the hopes that there's a character in them I want to fuck? I was told that the reason I didn't really like Mass Effect was because I was playing it as a sci-fi shooter instead of a dating sim. I guess I figured Shepard can get all the cock she wants AFTER the galaxy is saved. Am I just old?
posted by Legomancer at 8:28 AM on September 15, 2014
posted by Legomancer at 8:28 AM on September 15, 2014
Legomancer: "Am I the only person who doesn't play videogames in the hopes that there's a character in them I want to fuck? "
Yes, pretty much. Me, I've been chasing the forbidden fruit since Pac-Man.
posted by vanar sena at 10:40 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yes, pretty much. Me, I've been chasing the forbidden fruit since Pac-Man.
posted by vanar sena at 10:40 AM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]
Well, Legomancer, you missed out on a lot of creepy-ass workplace harassment.
posted by The Gaffer at 1:42 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by The Gaffer at 1:42 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]
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posted by clarknova at 3:23 AM on September 14, 2014 [6 favorites]