I ain't sure it's puddin'.

September 15, 2014 5:50 PM

Unfortunately it has only just finished, but a a live first-ever autopsy was performed on the second colossal squid ever to be found intact, by the Te Papa and Auckland University of Technology. The first colossal squid to be found is on display at the same university (site down at the moment, possibly due to traffic; archive.org cached site). Direct link to 86 minute Youtube video. Currently there is no word on the disposition of the squid remains.
posted by Evilspork (21 comments total)

Minor correction - Te Papa is a museum in Wellington. Auckland University of Technology (AUT) is a university based in Auckland. The first squid is being displayed at Te Papa. /pedant
posted by supercrayon at 6:11 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

_{Also, I think if it's an animal, it's a "necropsy".}
posted by wormwood23 at 6:15 PM on September 15, 2014 [12 favorites]

Calamari for everyone!
posted by notme at 6:33 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Autopsy results: Colonel Mustard in the Briny Deep with the Harpoon.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 6:37 PM on September 15, 2014 [4 favorites]

From what I understand, giant and colossal squid use ammonia to control buoyancy, so calamari would probably only work if you prepared it like hákarl.
posted by fnerg at 6:39 PM on September 15, 2014

I think this is the coolest thing; unfortunately I had to check out when they started on the HUGE EYE dissection.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:42 PM on September 15, 2014 [1 favorite]

for some reason most of the researchers seen to be from the US...
posted by ennui.bz at 6:52 PM on September 15, 2014

supercrayon: "Te Papa is a museum in Wellington"

Also famous for the Te Papa Girl Rappers.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 7:08 PM on September 15, 2014

i assume "caught intact" means "pulled in when already dead"? otherwise i'm going to be upset.
posted by hollisimo at 7:42 PM on September 15, 2014 [2 favorites]

Does anyone know the identity of the main biologist leading the necropsy? My squid-loving daughter wants to know!
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 9:27 PM on September 15, 2014

Wait, so we've only seen two of these. And only one alive ever. And so we killed it by cutting it apart.

Welp, I, for one, welcome our squid overlords.
posted by sleeping bear at 10:32 PM on September 15, 2014

"Hello, beastie!"
posted by Namlit at 11:21 PM on September 15, 2014

A lot of interesting interview/background starting around 30 min mark.
Curiously, 'Colossal' and 'Giant' are from different species! (For no real good reason, this surprised me)
posted by From Bklyn at 12:43 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Our presenter will be Veronika Meduna from Radio New Zealand's Our Changing World.

This would make for gripping radio, I'm sure.
posted by chavenet at 4:29 AM on September 16, 2014

Curiously, 'Colossal' and 'Giant' are from different species!

Part of me wishes I were a squidolologist (teuthologist?) so I could search for and name new species of very large squid. Meet the humongous squid (Bigoteuthis ayatollahrockandrollah) and the ginormous squid (Large-o-teuthis bigassicus).
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:29 AM on September 16, 2014 [3 favorites]

Does anyone know the identity of the main biologist leading the necropsy? My squid-loving daughter wants to know!

She is Kat Bolstad
posted by ennui.bz at 6:45 AM on September 16, 2014

This is why I believe in the kraken! Who knows what wonders lurk in the briny deep?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:05 AM on September 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

I was also a little disturbed that the squid was still alive when they caught it (holding onto a fish!) and then killed and dissected. Makes me think of that scene from Starship Troopers where they quite callously are poking and prodding at a very-much-alive alien bug in the background.

My cephalopodic overlords are very disappoint.
posted by jillithd at 8:04 AM on September 16, 2014 [2 favorites]

I assume 'live..autopsy' refers to the broadcast and not the squid??
posted by MtDewd at 12:06 PM on September 16, 2014 [2 favorites]

The catch

A live colossal squid was brought up on a longline, still holding on to a toothfish. It was later weighed and found to weigh 495 kilogrammes. Fisheries observers on board the vessel recognized the value of the specimen. The huge colossal squid was hauled on board in a landing net and frozen.

Personally, I find it horrifying that a creature so amazing and rare was captured and killed just to satisfy our curiosity. It was a selfish act. Pity that "the value of the specimen" apparently increased once it was dead.
posted by random thoughts at 7:08 PM on September 16, 2014

random thoughts: "
Personally, I find it horrifying that a creature so amazing and rare was captured and killed just to satisfy our curiosity. It was a selfish act. Pity that "the value of the specimen" apparently increased once it was dead."

We honestly have no idea how numerous the species is. They are rarely encountered by us, but there are indications that they make up up to 77% of the biomass consumed by sperm whales. There is most likely a sizable population, but we have no real way to tell other than that sperm whales seem to eat shittons of them.

Also, the fact that it was pulled up alive just means it wasn't dead yet. Deep sea critters like these do not generally cope well when pulled to the surface.
posted by HFSH at 7:46 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]