You're not real, I'm real.

September 26, 2014 9:09 AM

"You poked my heart." SLYT. A group of tow headed toddlers get in a row about the weather, adorableness ensues.
posted by sweetkid (56 comments total)

I thought the "real name policy" was supposed to make Youtube comments better.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:16 AM on September 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Still better than the US congress.
posted by Pendragon at 9:21 AM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Lord Palmerston!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:25 AM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love little kid logic, because it operates in its own universe: "Your mom cannot have said X because my mom said Y!" Makes perfect sense within their world. The bittersweet pain of parenting consists of watching that logic slowly get replaced by real-world logic, which is far less fun.
posted by jbickers at 9:28 AM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love little kid logic, because it operates in its own universe: "Your mom cannot have said X because my mom said Y!" Makes perfect sense within their world.

Not much different from "My god says X and your god says Y."
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 9:32 AM on September 26, 2014 [23 favorites]

I'm always interested watching toddlers doing that little mental calculus about just how gravely they want to respond to a perceived injury. The little "sprinkling" kid has pretty good reason to get upset when he's poked right by the eye (someone needs to teach that little girl a lesson about using her words and not her hands to drive home a point!), and you can see him thinking "should I go into full meltdown over this?"--but he's ultimately too caught up in the intricacies of the sprinkling vs raining discussion, and lets it go. But when he's poked in the heart (which, clearly, is barely a touch) you can see that he's sick of the argument and seizes on that "injury" as a way of A) ending the discussion and B) putting his opponent in the wrong (and C, possibly getting a bit of adult TLC if whoever's filming this finally puts down the iphone).
posted by yoink at 9:34 AM on September 26, 2014 [15 favorites]

I just called my mom and she said it's not raining OR sprinkling so both of them are wrong.
posted by orme at 9:43 AM on September 26, 2014 [26 favorites]

Per the title of this post, deploying solipsism in an argument is pretty sophisticated too.
posted by XMLicious at 9:44 AM on September 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

It's like a smarter, even blonder version of Fox & Friends.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:45 AM on September 26, 2014 [27 favorites]

I love how the girl in back of the "It's Raining" blond girl is holding onto the back of her shirt. She knows her girl's trouble.
posted by sweetkid at 9:47 AM on September 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

I just called my mom and she said it's not raining OR sprinkling so both of them are wrong.

A) Did she consider the possibility that it might be sprinkaling?

B) Is she real?
posted by yoink at 9:48 AM on September 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

Also how the smaller blond girl is like "SOP. It okay." Also how they all so closely resemble a pack of drunks.
posted by sweetkid at 9:48 AM on September 26, 2014 [23 favorites]

I am totally using, "you're not real, I'm not going to see you any more" in my next staff meeting.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:51 AM on September 26, 2014 [28 favorites]

And no wonder infection runs rampant in environments like this; just look at all the places those fingers are going! (and now I have Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name stuck in my head you're welcome)
posted by achrise at 9:53 AM on September 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also how they all so closely resemble a pack of drunks.

See also.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:57 AM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

God I love that video when the kid horks up a bit of food, sniffs the "wine" and then dumps it on the table makes me laugh every time.
posted by Poldo at 10:08 AM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

Also great: kid trying to break up the argument suggests they could look outside and see what is happening. Sprinkling kid's clearly all "but why would I do that? My mom's already weighed in, here."
posted by deludingmyself at 10:28 AM on September 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

I love all the strategies the peacemaker girl deploys. She tries to get the big girl to say sorry for the first poke, she intercedes when the boy tries to get up in her face, and then proposes that they "go out there and see" whether it's sprinkling or raining. She's the MVP here.
posted by anazgnos at 10:32 AM on September 26, 2014 [59 favorites]

This video actually does brighten up my day. Thanks for sharing.

I just hope the kids don't end up in a romantic triangle 13 years down the road.
posted by fatehunter at 10:35 AM on September 26, 2014

That was pretty funny. I agree with anazgnos - the little peacemaker girl has like very high levels of empathy going on. She was my fave.
posted by aka burlap at 10:45 AM on September 26, 2014 [9 favorites]

Also great: kid trying to break up the argument suggests they could look outside and see what is happening. Sprinkling kid's clearly all "but why would I do that? My mom's already weighed in, here."

I love that the girl then tries to restate her position more effectively, but rapidly exhausts her verbal resources and moves on to picking her nose.
posted by Iridic at 10:47 AM on September 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

Stop! Staahhhhp.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:58 AM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

But when he's poked in the heart (which, clearly, is barely a touch)

That's how the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique is supposed to look.
posted by justkevin at 11:03 AM on September 26, 2014 [20 favorites]

Peacemaker Girl is my favourite character in this little drama, too. She's not invested in defending a point of view; she's invested in trying to find a way for everyone to be friends and for no one to be hurt.
posted by erlking at 11:26 AM on September 26, 2014 [6 favorites]

I'm sure Peacemaker Girl wants everyone to be friends, but she's definitely aligned with the It's Waining Worldview. But It Ok.
posted by sweetkid at 11:29 AM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Cogito ergo sum. You don't think, so you're not real.



Also:

Bond: Yeah! 'Cause no matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password which means your clients are gonna hunt you down and cut you into little pieces of meat while you're still breathing. Because if you kill me, there'll be nowhere else to hide.

Le Chiffre: But you are SO WRONG! 'Cause even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms... because they need... what I know.
posted by Namlit at 11:30 AM on September 26, 2014

Isn't peacemaker girl simply the non-evil twin? Distorted to less tallness by means of iPhone optic bias?
posted by Namlit at 11:32 AM on September 26, 2014 [3 favorites]

sprinkaling sprikaleg spwickwig spengawin supurinkuringu strickland swfingawn...
posted by Iridic at 11:33 AM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

I love how the girl in back of the "It's Raining" blond girl is holding onto the back of her shirt. She knows her girl's trouble.


"Sandra...come on Sandra...it's not worth it. You remember what happened last time? You're still on probation. Come on- let's just walk away. Just leave it. We'll just go over there and sing Let It Go for a bit...

Ugh, you always get like this."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:45 AM on September 26, 2014 [7 favorites]

It's actually pacemaker girl, that's why she pokes his heart.
posted by Namlit at 11:51 AM on September 26, 2014

spwwinkelaing
posted by Namlit at 11:53 AM on September 26, 2014

And here I hoped it would be an adorable toddler interpretation of Lavender Diamond's 'You Broke My Heart'.
posted by gturner at 11:54 AM on September 26, 2014

You poked my heart
And you're to blame
My mommy says you give love a bad name...
posted by Kabanos at 11:54 AM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Okay, I broke down and watched it, and it really does take off around 1:12 when things start getting surreal. "You aren't real! I'm real!"
posted by tavella at 11:55 AM on September 26, 2014

What of the adult standing there with the camera?
posted by humanfont at 11:57 AM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Poor peacemaker girl. The world is going to walk all over her while Sprinkles and Poke-Poke go on to be captains of industry.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:02 PM on September 26, 2014 [13 favorites]

yeah. I really didn't enjoy watching it. I kept hoping some adult would step in and explain to both of them that sprinkling and raining mean the same thing.
posted by hollyanderbody at 12:03 PM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Are the three blondes at the front of the line triplets? Because that makes the whole "my mommy said" conversation that much more hilarious.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 12:05 PM on September 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Triplets! That's intriguing. I wonder if the Mommy buff stacks in the toddler worldview. "Mommy[x3] says it waining."
posted by erlking at 12:18 PM on September 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Eh. Having of late been spending time with a 3 year old and occasionally her friends, I think there's something to be said for allowing kids some space to work out their own interactions and not jumping in with parental or adult reassurance at every step. I might have stepped in at the eye poke, but then again the kid was not particularly distressed himself by it, so I wouldn't call foul on the cameraperson.
posted by tavella at 12:26 PM on September 26, 2014 [11 favorites]

Except for the empathy, this is completely consistent and about as deep as any argumentdiscussion on the internet.
posted by plinth at 12:49 PM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Metafilter: except for the empathy, this is completely consistent and about as deep as any argument discussion on the internet.
posted by echolalia67 at 12:52 PM on September 26, 2014

Should have previewed.
posted by echolalia67 at 12:53 PM on September 26, 2014

MetaFilter: Should have previewed.
posted by dejah420 at 1:35 PM on September 26, 2014 [8 favorites]

Metafilter: mathowie says it's spwinkaling!
posted by yoink at 1:55 PM on September 26, 2014 [4 favorites]

Isn't peacemaker girl simply the non-evil twin? Distorted to less tallness by means of iPhone optic bias?

When I saw this the other day it seemed like it was settled that peacemaker is the younger sibling.

Peacemaker Girl is my favourite character in this little drama, too. She's not invested in defending a point of view; she's invested in trying to find a way for everyone to be friends and for no one to be hurt.

Actually, just as she's trying to talk pokey boy down, she calmly, slowly says to him "stop, stop....it's waaaaining" which is just the last thing he wants to hear at that point.
posted by anazgnos at 2:12 PM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Yea well, her mom AND sister said it was waining, so. Double truth.
posted by sweetkid at 4:05 PM on September 26, 2014

I'm impressed that any of you can understand anything they are saying. You must be more practiced at toddlerese than me.
posted by lollusc at 5:43 PM on September 26, 2014 [2 favorites]

Clearly, it's dwizzawing.
posted by artychoke at 9:36 PM on September 26, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also how the smaller blond girl is like "SOP. It okay." Also how they all so closely resemble a pack of drunks.

Dylan Moran was right all along.
posted by chrominance at 10:01 PM on September 26, 2014

Seemed like a lot of bullying and badgering to me.
posted by evil_esto at 3:43 AM on September 27, 2014

Children scare the heck out of me, especially considering how many are currently serving as elected officials.
posted by kinnakeet at 4:47 AM on September 27, 2014

"You're not real! I'm real!"

I suspect that the boy might have meant "You're not right! I'm right!" but he picked the wrong "r-" word in the heat of the moment.

Substitute different theories for "raining/sprinkling" and favorite theoreticians for "my mom" and this is disturbingly close to many academic arguments.
posted by dhens at 11:36 AM on September 27, 2014

"You're not real! I'm real!"

I suspect that the boy might have meant "You're not right! I'm right!" but he picked the wrong "r-" word in the heat of the moment.

I think this is what it was too, but that just amplifies the comedy even more. Plus the timing with how he repeats "you poked my heart."
posted by sweetkid at 1:37 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

There should be a country song about being poked in the heart.
posted by humanfont at 9:57 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

On the Colbert Report.
posted by XMLicious at 1:26 PM on October 10, 2014 [2 favorites]