Beam Him Up
September 27, 2014 4:56 PM Subscribe
James 'Jimbo' Traficant, colorful convicted ex-congressman, has passed away. No stranger to the blue, Traficant will be remembered for many things, but likely chief among them will be his Star Trek-inspired catchphrase, "Beam me up, Mr. Speaker." His death was the result of a tractor accident.
Traficant stuck in my memory for his speech in the Congressional Record:
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posted by jadepearl at 6:00 PM on September 27, 2014 [16 favorites]
Congressional Record Volume 145, Number 153 (Wednesday, November 3, 1999)]I mean, that is the kind of stuff you hope to see on C-SPAN! And man, he does have a point about forgiveness.
[House]
[Page H11376]
From the Congressional Record Online through the Government Printing Office [www.gpo.gov]
THE LADY BUCKEYES AT THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL
(Mr. TRAFICANT asked and was given permission to address the House for 1 minute and to revise and extend his remarks.)
Mr. TRAFICANT. The Ohio State women's rugby team, Mr. Speaker, wanted to do something memorable in D.C. It was memorable, all right. Unlike Brandy Chastain's highly publicized sports bra expose, the Lady Buckeyes went topless. That is right, topless. The Lincoln Memorial became a strip joint. Bras were flying everywhere. Unbelievable.
Now, after all this, the University has suspended the team, and these Buckeye vixens are awaiting the final decision. Beam me up, Mr. Speaker. Leave these foxy ladies alone. If America can forgive the President, the Ohio State University can forgive these Buckeye divas. I yield back all of the memorable excitement at the Lincoln Memorial.
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posted by jadepearl at 6:00 PM on September 27, 2014 [16 favorites]
We should also note his delightful toupee(s). They will be missed.
posted by orrnyereg at 6:06 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by orrnyereg at 6:06 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Coming soon to a theater near you: Traficant! Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, and Brian Dennehy as "Mr. Speaker".
Also
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posted by Pudhoho at 6:26 PM on September 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
Also
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posted by Pudhoho at 6:26 PM on September 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
RIP Maximus.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:43 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:43 PM on September 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
The guy who built the City Museum died in what was essentialy a tractor accident.
I'm sorry for him and his family. I never agreed with him, but no man is an island, and every person is loved by someone.
posted by eriko at 6:47 PM on September 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I'm sorry for him and his family. I never agreed with him, but no man is an island, and every person is loved by someone.
posted by eriko at 6:47 PM on September 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
My condolences to his surviving hairpieces.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:06 PM on September 27, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:06 PM on September 27, 2014 [7 favorites]
Traficant was a corrupt asshole, but he didn't try to pretend otherwise- the most honest liar that ever held office in the US. He was hilarious and always maintained a sense of commitment to entertaining an audience. His mastery of political trolling makes Rob Ford and Sarah Palin look like amateurs. Nobody has since attempted such a hideous wardrobe and toupe. And the end of his life is totally in character, maybe even too on-the-nose for fiction. He wasn't good for politics on the whole, his party or otherwise, but he was able to cut straight through other people's bullshit by making people laugh and get his quotes published nationally. Because he knew himself, and had no shame.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:41 PM on September 27, 2014 [8 favorites]
Shine on you crazy diamond.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:41 PM on September 27, 2014 [8 favorites]
Traficant was flown to St. Elizabeth Medical Center in Youngstown on Tuesday night after a vintage tractor tipped over on him inside a barn at the farm in Green Township.
I've heard about a lot of tractor accidents, but this is the first indoor one I'm aware of.
For much of my life, his name was a background item on the national news about corruption and political controversy -- I never knew the details, but feel like I've always known his name.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:49 PM on September 27, 2014
I've heard about a lot of tractor accidents, but this is the first indoor one I'm aware of.
For much of my life, his name was a background item on the national news about corruption and political controversy -- I never knew the details, but feel like I've always known his name.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:49 PM on September 27, 2014
A good friend of mine had a side project for a while where he compiled all of the most ludicrous news he could find about EACH AND EVERY congressional candidate in the country for every election, so he could print it up in a book and give it to friends. For various reasons he named it after Boss Tweed and described it as "a left-leaning, factually-substantiated Drudge Report." (I still think he should have spun it into a gig on THE DAILY SHOW.)
Jim Traficant was such a favorite of his to write about that the year he left congress my friend devoted an entire page to summing up his antics. I've sent him a link to this news, calling his attention to the tractor accident - which would have been so suited to the Tweed project as to have been a fitting epitaph.
Vale, Jim.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:17 PM on September 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
Jim Traficant was such a favorite of his to write about that the year he left congress my friend devoted an entire page to summing up his antics. I've sent him a link to this news, calling his attention to the tractor accident - which would have been so suited to the Tweed project as to have been a fitting epitaph.
Vale, Jim.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:17 PM on September 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
In case anyone else has trouble remembering, Traficant was convicted of bribery, racketeering, and tax evasion. Mostly for skimming campaign funds. Is 12 years the statute of limitations that brings you from "corrupt congressman destroying America" to "lovable scamp"?
Then again he had David Duke on his side all along, what with his defending the Nazi guard from the Israeli courts. "Colorful".
posted by Nelson at 8:33 PM on September 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
Then again he had David Duke on his side all along, what with his defending the Nazi guard from the Israeli courts. "Colorful".
posted by Nelson at 8:33 PM on September 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
I like how Traficant demanded a Congressional investigation into the disappearance of the bassist of Iron Butterfly. He was no paragon of good government, but he was damn entertaining.
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posted by jonp72 at 8:39 PM on September 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
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posted by jonp72 at 8:39 PM on September 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
HOLY SHIT!
I met a member of Iron Butterfly in about '96 (I can't remember which one, but it very well might be the one in question). It was in a weird weird context (in the pacific northwest). He was involved with a (seemingly fucking insane) 'advanced physics' project that seemed a bit improbable; with some sketchy folks involved (fundraiser for a tech project that was trying to divert funds from tech project to super-sekret UFO-type project).
I wish I was making this up.
[note to any spook types that may be reading: I have no clue what happened to the dude, I moved, lost contact with that entire circle of folks, and would be unable to find them today if pressed]
posted by el io at 10:23 PM on September 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
I met a member of Iron Butterfly in about '96 (I can't remember which one, but it very well might be the one in question). It was in a weird weird context (in the pacific northwest). He was involved with a (seemingly fucking insane) 'advanced physics' project that seemed a bit improbable; with some sketchy folks involved (fundraiser for a tech project that was trying to divert funds from tech project to super-sekret UFO-type project).
I wish I was making this up.
[note to any spook types that may be reading: I have no clue what happened to the dude, I moved, lost contact with that entire circle of folks, and would be unable to find them today if pressed]
posted by el io at 10:23 PM on September 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
Charles Cioffi needs to be cast as Traficant in any future biopics.
posted by davidmsc at 12:42 AM on September 28, 2014
posted by davidmsc at 12:42 AM on September 28, 2014
Wasn't the bassist found in a ditch somewhere in '99 ?
posted by Pendragon at 12:56 AM on September 28, 2014
posted by Pendragon at 12:56 AM on September 28, 2014
Nelson: In case anyone else has trouble remembering, Traficant was convicted of bribery, racketeering, and tax evasion.
In other words, he was a congressman.
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posted by dr_dank at 6:18 AM on September 28, 2014 [3 favorites]
In other words, he was a congressman.
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posted by dr_dank at 6:18 AM on September 28, 2014 [3 favorites]
In case anyone else has trouble remembering, Traficant was convicted of bribery, racketeering, and tax evasion. Mostly for skimming campaign funds.
I have a feeling that skimming campaign funds is exactly what Robin Hood would be doing in the 21st Century.
posted by Etrigan at 7:11 AM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have a feeling that skimming campaign funds is exactly what Robin Hood would be doing in the 21st Century.
posted by Etrigan at 7:11 AM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
In case anyone was wondering how a guy like Rob Ford could become mayor of a major city, see the comments above.
posted by dirigibleman at 7:12 AM on September 28, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by dirigibleman at 7:12 AM on September 28, 2014 [3 favorites]
On Longform today, and possibly already posted: Crimetown, USA
posted by box at 7:44 AM on September 28, 2014
posted by box at 7:44 AM on September 28, 2014
Wasn't the bassist found in a ditch somewhere in '99 ?
Yes, also in '96, '97, and 2003.
posted by sneebler at 8:08 AM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yes, also in '96, '97, and 2003.
posted by sneebler at 8:08 AM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
So the thing I think of when I think about Trafficant is those burns and shades. I can't help but look at him and think "1970s bowling league, Jim Jones, brown suits, shortwave radio AMERICA"
Like he just always looked like he hung onto the 70s so far past it. He's a piece of shit politician and I'm glad he got convicted, but as a character and a persona. Damn.
posted by symbioid at 2:00 PM on September 28, 2014
Like he just always looked like he hung onto the 70s so far past it. He's a piece of shit politician and I'm glad he got convicted, but as a character and a persona. Damn.
posted by symbioid at 2:00 PM on September 28, 2014
On You Tube there's a 3-part interview with Traficant on Phil Donahue. I had remembered it as being noteworthy, and when I re-watched it yesterday, I thought, "There's the beginning of the tea party, among other travesties." Underrepresented blue collar people who felt that they'd been left behind by everything that happened around them - those were Jim Traficant's people, and they loved him.
posted by tizzie at 5:31 PM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tizzie at 5:31 PM on September 28, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by slater at 5:12 PM on September 27, 2014