Hatin' Ass Spurrier
November 3, 2014 11:47 AM Subscribe
Hatin' Ass Spurrier has nothing to do with Steve Spurrier, the always colorful Head Ball Coach at the University of South Carolina. Hatin' Ass Spurrier does, however, channel the same spirit that Spurrier has brought to college football ever since he first put on a Gators jersey in 1963. Hatin' Ass Spurrier reviews the Saturday action once per week during football season, thanks to the surprisingly literate blog Every Day Should Be Saturday.
Although most of his aphorisms require in-depth knowledge of college football and its many personalities / regionalisms / mascots, many also reward the BFA degree that so many student-athletes lack.
"Damn, East Carolina struggled with the UConn like they were in a Jack London novel."
"Losing to Illinois" is the worst Hold Steady song ever, Minnesota.
"FSU can't run the ball, and I'm not confident in their ability to properly investigate why. No reason."
"Don't sleep on Arkansas. If you have to, don't do it on anything but your own sheets. Pinkeye is real."
"Mad about our defense, but I guess shooting first without thinking about how you'll protect yourself is a South Carolina tradition."
"Urban Meyer's got the best football team in the state of Ohio, which is kind of like having the best credit score in the state of Ohio."
"It's called the SEC East 'race' because nobody down here is good at dealing with it."
More Hatin' Ass Spurrier:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/9/30/6873461/hatin-ass-spurrier-takes-week-5-down-a-peg
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/10/7/6905177/hatin-ass-spurrier-puts-week-six
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/10/14/6977681/hatin-ass-spurrier-says-every-school-can-be-a-safety-school
Although most of his aphorisms require in-depth knowledge of college football and its many personalities / regionalisms / mascots, many also reward the BFA degree that so many student-athletes lack.
"Damn, East Carolina struggled with the UConn like they were in a Jack London novel."
"Losing to Illinois" is the worst Hold Steady song ever, Minnesota.
"FSU can't run the ball, and I'm not confident in their ability to properly investigate why. No reason."
"Don't sleep on Arkansas. If you have to, don't do it on anything but your own sheets. Pinkeye is real."
"Mad about our defense, but I guess shooting first without thinking about how you'll protect yourself is a South Carolina tradition."
"Urban Meyer's got the best football team in the state of Ohio, which is kind of like having the best credit score in the state of Ohio."
"It's called the SEC East 'race' because nobody down here is good at dealing with it."
More Hatin' Ass Spurrier:
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/9/30/6873461/hatin-ass-spurrier-takes-week-5-down-a-peg
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/10/7/6905177/hatin-ass-spurrier-puts-week-six
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2014/10/14/6977681/hatin-ass-spurrier-says-every-school-can-be-a-safety-school
It's bad enough that people always say "Oh, like Steve Spurrier?" whenever I tell them my surname. But now he's a snarky, insular meme for sports nerds? Yeah, thanks for that.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:04 PM on November 3, 2014
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:04 PM on November 3, 2014
Once you've read all of these, you may be ready to take this quiz challenging you to distinguish between Hatin' Ass Spurrier and actual Steve Spurrier quotes.
The answers may surprise you.
posted by Copronymus at 12:09 PM on November 3, 2014
The answers may surprise you.
posted by Copronymus at 12:09 PM on November 3, 2014
Hatin' Ass Spurrier has nothing to do with Steve Spurrier
Except for the fact that Ryan and Spencer have a psychic who reads the OBC's mind and tells them what to write. Other than that, no connection.
posted by protocoach at 1:00 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
Except for the fact that Ryan and Spencer have a psychic who reads the OBC's mind and tells them what to write. Other than that, no connection.
posted by protocoach at 1:00 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]
HAS is something that makes Tuesdays worth it. Last week was one of the best ever.
"Marcus Mariota's only been picked off once, but James Garfield didn't make it to the national championship either."
"Now Tim Beckman's gotten a treat off the counter. He's gonna think he's people now."
"Shame they don't play in Athens for the Florida/Georgia rivalry. Someone can finally show Will Muschamp how to bury eight in an endzone. (UGA VIII for the two point conversion.)" ...wow
"Call Les Miles Germany because he doesn't speak English, has two losses, and still has more money than you."
posted by azpenguin at 2:48 PM on November 3, 2014
"Marcus Mariota's only been picked off once, but James Garfield didn't make it to the national championship either."
"Now Tim Beckman's gotten a treat off the counter. He's gonna think he's people now."
"Shame they don't play in Athens for the Florida/Georgia rivalry. Someone can finally show Will Muschamp how to bury eight in an endzone. (UGA VIII for the two point conversion.)" ...wow
"Call Les Miles Germany because he doesn't speak English, has two losses, and still has more money than you."
posted by azpenguin at 2:48 PM on November 3, 2014
I have it on pretty good authority that hatin' ass Spurrier isn't too different from regular' ol Spurrier in that both are nuts.
posted by photoslob at 3:13 PM on November 3, 2014
posted by photoslob at 3:13 PM on November 3, 2014
EDSBS and Spencer Hall are national treasures.
posted by wintermind at 5:26 PM on November 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by wintermind at 5:26 PM on November 3, 2014 [3 favorites]
« Older Bye Felipe | A national treasure drives off into the sunset... Newer »
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posted by JPD at 12:01 PM on November 3, 2014 [1 favorite]