Greetings from the South Pole
December 9, 2014 11:28 AM Subscribe
James O. Thach has an amazing array of life experiences, as proven through remarkable Amazon reviews. Here he is proving his conservative bona fides as he pronounces Ann Coulter's newest book "a steaming cauldron of truth"; waxing rhapsodic on cardamom, "nectar of the gods, breath of the immortals"; and researching penguins with only a Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush for company.
For those brainwashed by the "facts" of the liberal lamestream, the America Ann presents will be hardly recognizable. You will probably look back with as much embarrassment as I did at the good will you used to feel toward your fellow Americans, and cringe at the optimism of our shared struggle to create a more perfect union. Was that really me? Yikes!
QFT
posted by blue_beetle at 11:39 AM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
QFT
posted by blue_beetle at 11:39 AM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
I keep ground cardamom on the counter for aromatherapy. It's just the most wonderful smell. It should be used judiciously.
posted by theora55 at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2014
posted by theora55 at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2014
I particularly like how he was also Jane Child in one of his previous lives.
posted by anthom at 12:29 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by anthom at 12:29 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Cardamom is pretty awesome. I'm the sort of person who requires immense quantities of added cream and sugar to imbibe filter-brewed coffee, but just in the last year I've been making Turkish coffee with cardamom which I find quite pleasant accompanied by only a tiny bit of sugar—or sometimes, gasp, an alternative sweetener, which I would almost never put in my regular cuppa joe.
posted by XMLicious at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by XMLicious at 12:33 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
As a Republican congressman, I'm appalled by the Obama administration's latest assault on children--SNAP. Through the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, the Obamanazis are filling our children's stomachs, but emptying their souls.I love this.
This program--cynically billed as a way to provide basic nutrition for our neediest schoolchildren--is really the latest power grab by a power-drunk administration, drunk on power. What are we teaching these kids? That their parents don't love them? That Obama's nanny state is their deadbeat dad's real baby mama? This is a slippery slope, folks. SNAP is just a stone's throw from Triple SNAP--three meals a day for hungry kids. Is that an America you want to live in?
posted by Librarypt at 12:38 PM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
The only thing keeping Ann from her dream of maternity is the mirthless sarcasm she mistakes for wit, serrated vaginal teeth, and breast milk that is genetically indistinguishable from cobra venom.
It wasn't until I got to here that I realized he was trolling. 10/10 [golf clap]
posted by Renoroc at 12:49 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
It wasn't until I got to here that I realized he was trolling. 10/10 [golf clap]
posted by Renoroc at 12:49 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
Something Wicked This Way Hops, April 13, 2014
This review is from: Funny Bunny Wind-up Jelly Bean Pooping Easter Bunny Candy Dispenser (Colors Vary) (Misc.)
Here we go again--the Left's favorite flank attack in the War on Christmas: the Easter Bunny. Secular-progressives love to roll out this cottontail Trojan Horse, tempting children from the true meaning of Easter with a cheap chocolate handout.
This animistic perversion of the Resurrection story shows the Left's total ignorance of science. Rabbits don't lay eggs--they're MAMMALS! If you ever see a rabbit lay chocolate, for God's sake don't eat it--that's how you get Giardia.
BTW, where in the Bible does it say anything about a rabbit? Nowhere. Rabbits are notorious hedonists, shacked up in communal "warrens," hooked on grass, fornicating like--well, like I don't know what. From cross-dressing libertine Bugs Bunny, constantly subverting Elmer Fudd's Second Amendment rights, to Roger Rabbit, who claimed to have been framed (don't they all?), these long-eared liberals keep nibbling away at our freedom.
But every year, my neighbors' kids fall for it, scouring their lawns for supposed rabbit eggs--laid, in fact, by their own parents--all in the name of "fun". It's not fun--it's a Godless mockery. What's it going to take to wake people up? The Four Peeps of the Apocalypse?
posted by dougzilla at 12:51 PM on December 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
This review is from: Funny Bunny Wind-up Jelly Bean Pooping Easter Bunny Candy Dispenser (Colors Vary) (Misc.)
Here we go again--the Left's favorite flank attack in the War on Christmas: the Easter Bunny. Secular-progressives love to roll out this cottontail Trojan Horse, tempting children from the true meaning of Easter with a cheap chocolate handout.
This animistic perversion of the Resurrection story shows the Left's total ignorance of science. Rabbits don't lay eggs--they're MAMMALS! If you ever see a rabbit lay chocolate, for God's sake don't eat it--that's how you get Giardia.
BTW, where in the Bible does it say anything about a rabbit? Nowhere. Rabbits are notorious hedonists, shacked up in communal "warrens," hooked on grass, fornicating like--well, like I don't know what. From cross-dressing libertine Bugs Bunny, constantly subverting Elmer Fudd's Second Amendment rights, to Roger Rabbit, who claimed to have been framed (don't they all?), these long-eared liberals keep nibbling away at our freedom.
But every year, my neighbors' kids fall for it, scouring their lawns for supposed rabbit eggs--laid, in fact, by their own parents--all in the name of "fun". It's not fun--it's a Godless mockery. What's it going to take to wake people up? The Four Peeps of the Apocalypse?
posted by dougzilla at 12:51 PM on December 9, 2014 [4 favorites]
The only thing keeping Ann from her dream of maternity is the mirthless sarcasm she mistakes for wit, serrated vaginal teeth, and breast milk that is genetically indistinguishable from cobra venom.
This guy wins.
posted by jbickers at 1:23 PM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
This guy wins.
posted by jbickers at 1:23 PM on December 9, 2014 [2 favorites]
serrated vaginal teeth
Definitely at least a tie with "cunt punt" for Misogynistic Yet Irresistibly Poetic phrase of the year.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:57 PM on December 9, 2014
Definitely at least a tie with "cunt punt" for Misogynistic Yet Irresistibly Poetic phrase of the year.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 1:57 PM on December 9, 2014
Poe's law?
nahh, this guy is doing a really good job of staying just a Swift outside of earnest Freeperdom- I can just barely see the tongue bump on his cheek.
posted by maus at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2014
nahh, this guy is doing a really good job of staying just a Swift outside of earnest Freeperdom- I can just barely see the tongue bump on his cheek.
posted by maus at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2014
but just in the last year I've been making Turkish coffee with cardamom which I find quite pleasant accompanied by only a tiny bit of sugar
I have been focusing most of my mental energy all afternoon to avoid raving about cardamom in the coffee thread a couple of posts down.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:10 PM on December 9, 2014
I have been focusing most of my mental energy all afternoon to avoid raving about cardamom in the coffee thread a couple of posts down.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:10 PM on December 9, 2014
Yeah, cardamom really is pretty great. Put some ground cardamom on vanilla ice cream that also has a splash of rosewater on it...my god, it's sweet, sweet perfection.
posted by yasaman at 2:42 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by yasaman at 2:42 PM on December 9, 2014 [1 favorite]
"The only thing keeping Ann from her dream of maternity is the mirthless sarcasm she mistakes for wit, serrated vaginal teeth, and breast milk that is genetically indistinguishable from cobra venom."
Have to go change ma pants now.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:06 PM on December 9, 2014
Have to go change ma pants now.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:06 PM on December 9, 2014
Cardamom in the dryer, could that end up being the olfactory version of a JB toothbrush? I will let you know.
posted by Oyéah at 8:14 PM on December 9, 2014
posted by Oyéah at 8:14 PM on December 9, 2014
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posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:33 AM on December 9, 2014 [3 favorites]