Just staaaaaaahp!

December 12, 2014 8:50 AM

39 Renaissance Babies Who Can't Even (NSFW), lovingly curated from Ugly Renaissance Babies (maybe also NSFW). (Previously)
posted by SkylitDrawl (24 comments total)

I don't remember this much raunch in the Renaissance art classes I took. I must have gotten the PG-13 classes.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:57 AM on December 12, 2014

Oh Renaissance Babies, is there anything you can even?
posted by Kitteh at 8:58 AM on December 12, 2014 [4 favorites]

BuzzFeed's editorial stance of writing for the legal marijuana market is quite forward thinking.
posted by Nelson at 9:00 AM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am really surprised this link wasn't to the Toast. Is Buzzfeed is blatantly ripping them off at this point? (Basically, I credit/blame the Toast for the proliferation of western art all over the internet at the moment.)
posted by likeatoaster at 9:36 AM on December 12, 2014 [5 favorites]

I see naked babies and no visible source of heat. I think that explains the infant mortality rate back then.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 9:40 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

I never realised it before seeing this, but I really want to watch a pack of pudgy babies fighting each other.
posted by forgetful snow at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

likeatoaster, I had the exact same thought. Not that I am complaining about art everywhere, mind you. I just think Mallory does it best.
posted by chatongriffes at 9:44 AM on December 12, 2014 [8 favorites]

I laughed at the baby getting carried away by an eagle. Because I am a terrible person.
posted by Zalzidrax at 9:50 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

It says a lot about how good the satire really is on clickhole that I was completely expecting this to be a clickhole link.
posted by MysticMCJ at 9:57 AM on December 12, 2014

Yep, buzzfeed has started biting hard on the "classic portraiture lulz" idea that The Toast came up with. First noticed when Flo Perry did a collection of portraits with selfie arms added to them a couple of weeks ago.

Buzzfeed will eat everything, and gently regurgitate a blander, less nourishing version into the gullets of Our Moms Online until there is nothing left at all.
posted by ominous_paws at 10:06 AM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Actually didn't BF just make a major hire *from* clickhole?
posted by ominous_paws at 10:07 AM on December 12, 2014

1. So I'm seeing it correctly that in #33 that Mary is spraying breastmilk On whoever the hell the guy in the robes is?

Buzzfeed will eat everything, and gently regurgitate a blander, less nourishing version into the gullets of Our Moms Online until there is nothing left at all.

2. I like Buzzfeed. It's fun. I laughed, that's all the nourishment I need.
posted by discopolo at 10:22 AM on December 12, 2014

Owl and Baby. Internet won. Game over.
posted by Splunge at 10:31 AM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Speaking of The Toast and Clickhole, I pretty much had to sit on my hands to not try and make FPPs out of this and this.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:45 AM on December 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

It's fine, it's fun, it's OK, I don't doubt that at all. But insofar as it's just this machine that rips off anything really *good* and spits out a just OK fun version of it without any sort of hat tip... I don't know, it's a bit sad?
posted by ominous_paws at 10:51 AM on December 12, 2014

When in Paris, go to the Louvre and find this.
posted by mazola at 10:54 AM on December 12, 2014 [10 favorites]

Exposure, animal attacks, demon kidnapping, unsolicited cockjerking. That's life in the dark ages
posted by dr_dank at 11:08 AM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

How is babby formed indeed!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 11:55 AM on December 12, 2014

Cupid was kind of a dick too.
posted by mazola at 12:27 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

These babies are pretty much done with this shit.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:40 PM on December 12, 2014

Counterpoint: the mellowest Christ Child in the Vatican Museum
posted by Nerd of the North at 4:26 PM on December 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

1. So I'm seeing it correctly that in #33 that Mary is spraying breastmilk On whoever the hell the guy in the robes is?

The Lactation of St Bernard. Yup, real thing. Handy quote from Wikipedia: "The milk was variously said to have given him wisdom, shown that the Virgin was his mother (and that of mankind generally), or cured an eye infection." Handy stuff, no?

And with this, my knowledge of Renaissance Art History has done its daily good deed, and I shall go back to the shadows.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 8:02 PM on December 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

the mellowest Christ Child in the Vatican Museum

I dunno, even He looks kinda bored. "I need help holding up this flower and there's fabric snagged on my 'nads. When's lunch?"
posted by kinnakeet at 2:27 AM on December 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

I laughed at the baby getting carried away by an eagle

Then you must get ahold of The Beastly Baby and read it through to the end.

Gorey had wit. This woman has wise-cracks. Gorey is for the ages. This woman is not even for wrapping fish.

I mean seriously, anyone who looks at enough art history books starts making these kinds of jokes. They write themselves.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:15 AM on December 13, 2014