Empathetic tenants need not apply

January 4, 2015 2:15 PM

In what is being heralded as a "neo liberalist capitalist dystopic future present nightmare", a "UK version of American Psycho" or simply the "end of days", an upmarket property agency in England releases a (serious) video advert for luxury London apartments. Social media is abuzz with analysis, wondering about his day job / cover, and photoshopping, while the Independent newspaper gapes with incredulity. Comments on the video have been disabled.

Related, from 2014:

Homes and Property: Now there are only two areas in London where two-bedroom flats cost less than £1,000 (US $1,530) a month to rent, according to a new study by Zoopla.

Guardian: Gentrification: what happens to those left behind?

Guardian: Gentrification tension, New York and London.

Londonist: Social Cleansing And Gentrification - The Fightback.

Economist: Gentrification in London - Chasing cool.

Telegraph: White hipsters, not black looters, are now threatening post-riots London.

posted by Wordshore (135 comments total)

Damn; missed this nicely crafted short tumblr analysis of the video ad.
posted by Wordshore at 2:22 PM on January 4, 2015 [10 favorites]

Don't just stare at it, rent it.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:23 PM on January 4, 2015 [21 favorites]

Hold on, is he sitting in the Huey Newton chair at 0:29?
posted by theodolite at 2:23 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

I saw that video last week, and I thought it was an advert for lifts right up until the end.
posted by The River Ivel at 2:23 PM on January 4, 2015 [9 favorites]

I'm pretty sure there's a plate of beans on that gleaming table with the wineglasses.
posted by chavenet at 2:24 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

Wanker tanks. Like fish tanks, but for wankers.
posted by Thing at 2:25 PM on January 4, 2015 [26 favorites]

It only seems sinister because the developer's name is Redrum.
posted by betweenthebars at 2:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

Get a shave you scruffy git
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [9 favorites]

Looks like all that scheming finally paid off for Dickie Bennett.
posted by turbid dahlia at 2:30 PM on January 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

Yep, because if you're a sufficiently sophisticated player a French aristocrat's wife will materialize out of the movie fog to bonk you.
posted by localroger at 2:31 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

If I was in the unenviable position of trying to shift some ludicrously overpriced dwellings in a city with as deranged a housing problem as London I suppose I'd target my advertising at the soulless unspeakably and inexplicably wealthy shitgibbon section of the market too.
posted by sobarel at 2:32 PM on January 4, 2015 [72 favorites]

Funny that when it finally does get around to the flat, mostly it just shows the rubbish on his bookshelves, which wouldn't come with the flat anyway.
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:33 PM on January 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

Patrick Bateman didn't work for his wealth

Yes, the (somewhat ham-handed) premise of AP is that as thoroughly wicked and corrupt as Bateman is, in the end he realizes he is nothing but a piker with lots to learn from the society within which he lives.
posted by localroger at 2:33 PM on January 4, 2015

Alternate narrative:

You've sacrificed morality, dignity and your original personality to gain a desperate toehold on the bottom rung.

Now is the time to take on massive debt in the most overvalued real estate market bubble on Earth.

posted by George_Spiggott at 2:39 PM on January 4, 2015 [58 favorites]

Wait I've seen this movie the twist is that he's actually a vampire right?
posted by The Whelk at 2:43 PM on January 4, 2015 [10 favorites]

The actual flats are probably like 600 sq foot boxes so you probably actually do see the whole thing in the ad.
posted by Erasmouse at 2:43 PM on January 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

the most annoying thing about this ad for me is that you get zero insight/info about actual apartments. it's all surface surface surface hyper capitalist macho lifestyle twaddle

So, effective marketing toward their target demographic?

Now is the time to take on massive debt in the most overvalued real estate market bubble on Earth.

This. I infer that the ad is shallow and stupid because, apparently, it is aimed at shallow, stupid people with way more money than sense.
posted by LooseFilter at 2:46 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Plot twist: he's an estate agent, an emergent psychopath showing you round a flat while the current tenant is asleep; London property market at its finest.
posted by Thing at 2:46 PM on January 4, 2015 [33 favorites]

"If it was easy it wouldn't feel as good" ... oh yes, that's a bit of dialogue that doesn't have you reaching for the pepper spray and inching towards the nearest safe exit at all.
posted by sobarel at 2:48 PM on January 4, 2015 [17 favorites]

Given his greasy demeanor and the weird party scene in the middle, I don't so much get a "banker" vibe as "member of crime cartel."
posted by emjaybee at 2:52 PM on January 4, 2015 [11 favorites]

Yeah, I was waiting for the sniper shot to take him out as he stood on his balcony. Red blood drips down to the distant streets below as a "New Vacancies Available" notice fades in on screen.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 2:54 PM on January 4, 2015 [37 favorites]

I don't so much get a "banker" vibe as "member of crime cartel."

tomato tomahto
posted by The Whelk at 2:55 PM on January 4, 2015 [111 favorites]

I don't so much get a "banker" vibe as "member of crime cartel."

I'm not exactly clear on the distinction being made here.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 2:55 PM on January 4, 2015 [30 favorites]

The floor shows signs of a massive cocaine accident. (I thought I was looking for something scandalous.)
posted by sylvanshine at 3:01 PM on January 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

The narrative is mighty clear. Being a junior in the city is a terrible life, but you've made it and you deserve this.


This ad isn't targeted at oligarchs so much as someone in the top 2% of the income distribution.

I mean hate on whatever
posted by JPD at 3:05 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Please tell us this is a viral ad for Ben Wheatley’s upcoming movie version of J. G. Ballard's High-Rise, please?
posted by Doktor Zed at 3:13 PM on January 4, 2015 [14 favorites]

I'd like to think that folks in the demographic at which this ad is aimed will be grossly offended by being stereotyped this way. _Right?
posted by Going To Maine at 3:16 PM on January 4, 2015

Nah, they'll be all "I worked for this, I'm not the bad guy, I'm just hard working. Why you Haters gotta hate?"
posted by fullerine at 3:18 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Disgusting! Where is his valet, ready with the evening post and his bedclothes? Shouldn't the cook have set out a late evening repast for him? Also having a fling with the maid if she fancies is one thing, but if you let her sleep in your bed, she'll forget her place. Based on the messy state of things, I'd say she alreadly has.
posted by humanfont at 3:19 PM on January 4, 2015 [13 favorites]

to stay true to what you believe

That you deserve hideous piles of money?
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 3:22 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

humanfront: These places are for the rich - they aren't for the wealthy.
posted by el io at 3:22 PM on January 4, 2015 [12 favorites]

to stay true to what you believe

This is the part that honestly perplexes me. Most of the audio message is - like it or not - a pretty consistent one that's backed up by the visual. You work really hard, you're stressed a lot, you've managed to do great things, you want Good Things from life and you deserve them. But there's nothing in here that actually indicates what I, the viewer, am supposed to believe in - or why the woman I'm shouting at doesn't jive with those things. I can only assume she's Scottish and just found out I helped fund the No campaign.
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:28 PM on January 4, 2015 [8 favorites]

lol at the graphic design book on the shelves.
posted by mullacc at 3:31 PM on January 4, 2015 [10 favorites]

Here are the four penthouse apartments that Redrow appear to be trying to flog in their video. Yours from about £17,000 per square metre - and such neighbours!
posted by rongorongo at 3:32 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

"I can't stop thinking about that poor unfortunate soul in number 3. Should we take him a charity hamper from Fortnum & Mason, darling?"
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:41 PM on January 4, 2015 [4 favorites]

lol at the graphic design book on the shelves.

I laughed at that too, and I'm not even sure why it's so funny. It's sort of eloquent in its lack of imagination I suppose.
posted by sobarel at 3:49 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

The graphic design book is absolutely perfect.

"I'm interesting. I'm well rounded"

BTW by London standards those prices for new build are very reflective of the non prime location
posted by JPD at 3:53 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

Well if it is them you do get your own bookie on the ground floor. Is that really seen as an upmarket area?
posted by biffa at 3:56 PM on January 4, 2015

They aren't selling the apartment as much the image you get from having a "sexy" address. In Mississauga (a suburb of Toronto with an extreme reputation of being boring) they have Marilyn Monroe towers with the same reputation. Now everyone knows that is where the escorts work.
posted by saucysault at 3:56 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Aspirational marketing. The character portrayed in the ad would never be exposed to it, nor would be swayed by it. Guys with that kind of money and influence don't choose their homes based on commercials. This spot is aimed at the poor schleps who wish to be like him - but aren't now and will never be. Suckers.
posted by klarck at 3:57 PM on January 4, 2015 [9 favorites]

Lol. There are plenty of clowns who are exactly that. Like a 29 year old trader - its perfect for them. Plus a nice walk to work if they want.


Def not a prestige address tho
posted by JPD at 4:03 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

"A UK reboot of American Psycho/Fight Club?" Fight Club was a condemnation of everything about this.

I'm surprised no one has objected specifically to the way the woman in our hero's bed is shown as part of a sweeping enumeration of other material, status-symbol possessions, a mere emblem of his success. I object.

They say London's housing bubble is driven by foreign investment. Is it possible the ad is deliberately over-the-top to appeal to a foreign speculator market that, due to cultural barriers, might not as readily pick up on something more subtle? That this isn't really about appealing to corporate finance jackasses like our hero, but rather about convincing overseas millionaires that these flats are an indispensable centerpiece of the corporate finance jackass lifestyle?
posted by Western Infidels at 4:07 PM on January 4, 2015 [19 favorites]

its perfect for them.

Only until they blow up all their shit.
posted by localroger at 4:13 PM on January 4, 2015

Fight Club was a condemnation of everything about this.

But it started with an exposition, which then got blown up.
posted by localroger at 4:14 PM on January 4, 2015

Maybe if the target is the buy to let market

I remember in 07 they were marketing office conversions on Wall Street like crazy to foreigners and you got pull quotes from the buyers like " that area of the city will never go out of style " never mind that historically it was not a residential neighborhood.
posted by JPD at 4:15 PM on January 4, 2015

"A UK reboot of American Psycho/Fight Club?" Fight Club was a condemnation of everything about this.

Well, sure, and so was American Psycho. This seems like a variant of Poe's Law, where earnestly selling something becomes indistinguishable from viciously condemning it.
posted by Tomorrowful at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

The ground floor Paddy Power does add a certain je ne sais quoi, doesn't it. And sticking all your dosh on a nag at Cheltenham is probably on a par with buying a McPenthouse in a housing bubble as far as wise investments go.
posted by sobarel at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

I'm surprised no one has objected specifically to the way the woman in our hero's bed is shown as part of a sweeping enumeration of other material, status-symbol possessions, a mere emblem of his success. I object.

No it's worse than that. What they're selling is not an apartment which will complement your trophy spouse. They're promising that if you buy this apartment your spouse object will stop arguing and wait peacefully for you in your bed. She started off as an object, now she an easier to manage object.
posted by rdr at 4:16 PM on January 4, 2015 [17 favorites]

you can have the Finest Apartment In London, but you still have to make do with nokia 5160 from 1999 for a phone
posted by Dr. Twist at 4:21 PM on January 4, 2015 [18 favorites]

Dr Twist: That's just the burner phone you use to get your blow.
posted by el io at 4:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [26 favorites]

I think that was supposed to be from his "days of struggle" before he'd acquired his new pad, extensive library and quiescent FemBot.
posted by sobarel at 4:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [7 favorites]

> "They're promising that if you buy this apartment your spouse object will stop arguing and wait peacefully for you in your bed."

That's one interpretation, but I'm looking real close to see if she's breathing.
posted by kyrademon at 4:30 PM on January 4, 2015 [16 favorites]

Plot twist the woman in the bed has died from carbon monoxide poisoning. This is actually a viral advert from Health and Safety reminding you of the importance of changing batteries in the detector twice a year.
posted by humanfont at 4:34 PM on January 4, 2015 [21 favorites]

I was all excited about the flooring - I was impressed that it was snowflake obsidian, but no it's just a rug.
posted by winna at 4:38 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

She's a trafficked 15-year-old from Moldova or somewhere, supplied by the same one-stop service that provides the blow, and can, for a fee, discreetly clean up any problematic situations. The free market solves another problem.
posted by acb at 4:51 PM on January 4, 2015

Gentrification: what happens to those left behind?

They sharpen their forks.
posted by Twang at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

Given the background music and the way he walked into the apartment with the sleeping woman, I was waiting for him to pull the knife.

"New Vacancy Available"

It's a world where that kind of guy makes things happen, right?
posted by BlueHorse at 4:52 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Also, I wonder whether the dead-eyed neo-Reagan/Thatcher-era yuppie-sociopath aesthetic will, some day, lose its chilling quality and be seen as purely glamorous, the way the world of The Great Gatsby, Puttin' On The Ritz, and even the pre-revolutionary French aristocracy are seen, as a jolly good dress-up party.
posted by acb at 4:54 PM on January 4, 2015 [31 favorites]

Guys guys guys it's an ARG for a remake of Sliver.
posted by winna at 5:10 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

£4.5M and not even inside the Circle Line? Puh-leeease. I'll only pay above £4M for a place in the WC or EC post codes.
posted by chimaera at 5:13 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Is there a film adaptation of John Niven's Kill Your Friends in the works? Because (modulo the music-industry bits) this looks like it could be the trailer.
posted by acb at 5:14 PM on January 4, 2015

I'm in the process of purchasing a home in a region where most folks get USDA loans. There's pastureland in walking distance. This is like another planet.

I've watched it three times now. I keep thinking about the sleeping woman and I'm baffled by that cinematic choice. Why isn't she waiting for him in the living room, glass of wine, fitted sweater and pencil skirt? Or on the balcony, looking out? If she's sleeping, would that mean he still works until 11? Wouldn't he want to move past that?
posted by mochapickle at 5:19 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

This makes the Minneapolis local version we have of this video seem comparatively quaint. I love this new genre.
posted by sp160n at 5:22 PM on January 4, 2015 [12 favorites]

Nope - the sign of Great Success for that kind of person isn't working less, it's being able to work more, and make even more money.

That, and/or he's coming home from his other girlfriend's flat.
posted by Tomorrowful at 5:23 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

Metafilter: Flat-toned, void affect, social cancer in a suit.
posted by blue_beetle at 5:27 PM on January 4, 2015

That, and/or he's coming home from his other girlfriend's flat.

Or he forgot to plug her in while he was out and now the battery is dead, and service calls for RealDolls are surprisingly expensive even for people who can afford these apartments.

More seriously, I guess I live in another world because I don't see how a non-oligarch could afford a place like that. (And in the ad, he's doing well but he's clearly not an oligarch.) A 20 percent downpayment is about 900k pounds, and the monthly payment on a 30 year mortgage is over 16k pounds, both of which are numbers that make my head hurt.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:31 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

sp160n, that was amazing!!! MTV Cribs with a vague narrative and vague-r kind of affluence!
posted by armacy at 5:32 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

This makes the Minneapolis local version we have of this video seem comparatively quaint. I love this new genre.

I LOVE IT!

The star of the video (one article refers to him as "dollar store Ryan Gosling") is actually the Realtor who is selling the place. Looks like the unit below went for 725K.
posted by mochapickle at 5:37 PM on January 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

I was so sure that the title of the book was going to be Atlas Shrugged.
posted by double block and bleed at 5:41 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

He is totally going to murderise that girl and stand naked on his tiny balcony while wearing her skin as a cape.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 5:46 PM on January 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

Simply here to repeat my new favorite word: "shitgibbon".
posted by Mr.Me at 6:06 PM on January 4, 2015 [26 favorites]

I had no idea that modern graphic design paid so well in the UK.
posted by rikschell at 6:14 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

I want Alan Moore to write a comic book about this guy and the creepy pool cheat from that Infinity AR ad teaming up to fight crime. Or commit it, whatever.
posted by No-sword at 6:26 PM on January 4, 2015

To me, that will always be a Morticia Addams chair.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 6:26 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

I keep thinking about the sleeping woman and I'm baffled by that cinematic choice. Why isn't she waiting for him in the living room, glass of wine, fitted sweater and pencil skirt? Or on the balcony, looking out? If she's sleeping, would that mean he still works until 11? Wouldn't he want to move past that?

I think it was so that they could show her smiling in her sleep. See! She's so content living among all his stuff that she smiles all the time. Even when conked out after drinking the good whiskey and replacing it with something that came in a plastic bottle and is spelt 'whiski'.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 6:28 PM on January 4, 2015

That guy has nothing on that Cadillac asshole.
posted by triggerfinger at 6:33 PM on January 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

I thought the best part of that was how absolutely soulless his furnishings were. They were generic rich guy stuff. No cherished furniture from before he became generic rich guy. I mean I get that they're trying to appeal to people who'd approve of that aesthetic (so monsters, basically) but why would you make this video available to the public? Say what you will about popular taste, but it isn't a modern design book and a random objet d'art.
posted by Peztopiary at 6:35 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

really should have "Phil Collins' Greatest Hits" instead of the graphic design book
posted by thelonius at 6:41 PM on January 4, 2015 [8 favorites]

You know,I think if I just switched this to San Francisco, I'd have the perfect Big Bad for the next Urban Fantasy novel I'm going to write, Real Soon Now.
posted by happyroach at 6:41 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Hold on, is he sitting in the Huey Newton chair at 0:29?
posted by theodolite at 2:23 PM on January 4 [+] [!]

In the UK, more likely to be a reference to the Emmanuelle classic French porn movie chair (google search for "Emmanuelle chair" with a few NSFW images)

I actually thought that was a True Blood reference. Although the skinny git in the video is no Eric Northman.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:46 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

While I absolutely love the Minneapolis version of this ad that sp160n posted above, the parody that Minnesota Public Radio reporter Tim Post made is just transcendent.
posted by elmer benson at 6:48 PM on January 4, 2015 [17 favorites]

A darker remix
posted by mecran01 at 6:53 PM on January 4, 2015 [17 favorites]

Flipping the laying-back-in-bed shot upside down in that remix was a stroke of brilliance.
posted by mochapickle at 7:06 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

While I absolutely love the Minneapolis version of this ad that sp160n posted above, the parody that Minnesota Public Radio reporter Tim Post made is just transcendent.

omg, I love this so much.

It still kind of breaks my heart that they tore down the beautiful old building that was there for those condos
posted by triggerfinger at 7:21 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Thanks for the post!

It reminded me that I have to return some videotapes...
posted by rock swoon has no past at 7:56 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

Atlas Wanked
posted by gottabefunky at 8:25 PM on January 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

I have a smartphone and I have the world on a string.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 8:43 PM on January 4, 2015

I just finished reading Gibson's latest "The Peripheral" which centers around an event in a high rise apartment (I won't say what, because spoilers). This ad reminded me of that, which made all the more creepy and dystopic.
posted by Joh at 9:17 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Here are the four penthouse apartments that Redrow appear to be trying to flog in their video.

Wait. £4,250,000 (for Apt. 1; click for floorplan) and the front door is next to the utility closet? And there's a long hallway before you get to the living room?

So when you have a business partner and/or date that you want to impress with your fancy penthouse, their first impression is not going to be the view, the tasteful decor, or the spacious flat that your precious, precious money bought. No, they'll be treated to a view of some doorways and the sound of your dryer.

I guess it really is a home for misanthropes.
posted by Banknote of the year at 9:22 PM on January 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

The real problem is that big column in the middle of what appears to be the living/dining area.
posted by Hicksu at 9:33 PM on January 4, 2015

One Commercial Street is one of the focuses of the "poor door" protests (separate entrances and services for social/affordable housing tenants and private tenants) -- supposedly Redrow sold out back in November. Interesting that they're still listing the flats.
posted by katemonster at 9:38 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

The real problem is that big column in the middle of what appears to be the living/dining area.

Not a bug, a feature. That's what he ties his victims to, before he kills and eats them while weeping openly and screaming I DID THIS. I. DID. THISSSSSS.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:39 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

Part of me loves this just because of the way it offends a certain set of all too easily offended people. Just like that Cadillac commercial.

Like, I find all that both of these ads espouse to be thoroughly undesirable, if not detestable. But at the same time, watching the left clutch their pearls in horror is equally satisfying.
posted by MeanwhileBackAtTheRanch at 10:18 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Also, why didn't they cast Ed Norton?
posted by MeanwhileBackAtTheRanch at 10:19 PM on January 4, 2015

Wanker tanks

Thank you so much.

I've been looking for a term to describe all those god-awful, glass-box condo buildings that have been sprouting up like weeds. "Wanker tanks" will do nicely.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 11:29 PM on January 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

1) Hold on, is he sitting in the Huey Newton chair at 0:29?
posted by theodolite at 2:23 PM on January 4 [+] [!]

2) In the UK, more likely to be a reference to the Emmanuelle classic French porn movie chair (google search for "Emmanuelle chair" with a few NSFW images)
posted by Bwithh at 5:28 PM on January 4

3) To me, that will always be a Morticia Addams chair.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 9:26 PM on January 4

4) I actually thought that was a True Blood reference. Although the skinny git in the video is no Eric Northman.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 9:46 PM on January 4

Everybody's right! But it's also
5) Geoffrey Holder's "Uncola Nut" chair....
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 11:31 PM on January 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

That Minneapolis ad, at least it was pointed out in the parody, but I was pretty shocked to see an American ad being totally okay with what looks like blatant drunk driving. Bro drinks martini before driving to the hotel? That's, what, 3oz of alcohol? More drinks at the bar, then a drive through downtown on the way back home? Hell, a great parody could be made with the guy just getting pulled over at a sobriety checkpoint.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:55 PM on January 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

Notice the little details. The camera, lingering on the girlfriend's dozing body, pans over the ringless fingers of her left hand. A deliberate touch, clearly, one that's supposed to say "the world is still full of possibilities." But which really says that Shoreditch Fund Manager Man, despite his dreams of inappropriate PDA in lifts (which he never acts on, because I guess that wouldn't be British), cannot imagine engaging in even a symbolic act of commitment with another human being. How long before he launches himself bodily out of that plate glass window, his body coming to lie broken and bloody at 2 am outside the mediocre Indian restaurant in the foyer of the 3 star Ibis Hotel over the road?
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:13 AM on January 5, 2015 [9 favorites]

The biggest lie in that video was that someone will buy the place and actually live in it, as opposed to renting it out through a lettings agency, or just allowing it to sit empty until the prices in the area reach a certain level.
posted by pipeski at 2:24 AM on January 5, 2015 [5 favorites]

In the contract of purchase it's "to stay true to [recruit's deity of choice]", they just went with "to stay true to [what you believe]" for the ad.
posted by Ashenmote at 2:40 AM on January 5, 2015

Vimeo appears to no longer have the video. Is there an alternative so that i can work myself into an indignant fury like everyone else?

I know that sounds sarcastic, but i'm at least 90% sincere on this. I love a good public ridiculing as much as the next guy.

OK, that sounded sarcastic too. I'll spell it out: I want to see this video. Where is it now?
posted by trif at 3:38 AM on January 5, 2015

I think it's just been deleted. It was there about fifteen minutes ago. Alternatives gratefully received (there just isn't enough advertising directed at the would-be Bond Villain demographic).
posted by lucien_reeve at 3:44 AM on January 5, 2015

I wouldn't call it clutching pearls. That would imply that I'm somehow surprised at a rich asshole acting like a rich asshole.
posted by double block and bleed at 3:59 AM on January 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Yes, it looks like Redrow London have deleted it from Vimeo. When looking back through Twitter it still appears embedded in some tweets but not in others, though that may be a caching thing here; give it a go.

Alternately, someone has done a remix of it and stuck it on YouTube, losing the tinkly piano music. Close enough.
posted by Wordshore at 4:08 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Yeah I was unaware that watching and commenting on a tacky aspirational nouveau riche ad was being outraged. I AM OUTRAGE THAT FLOORING IS NOT SNOWFLAKE OBSIDIAN AND THE CONTENTS OF HIS BOOKSHELVES LOOK AS IF THEY WERE TAKEN FROM A MID-LEVEL HOTEL LOUNGE! IMA WRITE MY CONGRESSMANS.
posted by winna at 4:08 AM on January 5, 2015 [3 favorites]

Oh, the Daily Telegraph appear to have either embedded the video, or saved it. They've layered a 20 second ad on top, but if you can sit through that it might work.
posted by Wordshore at 4:19 AM on January 5, 2015 [6 favorites]

Yeah I was unaware that watching and commenting on a tacky aspirational nouveau riche ad was being outraged.

Agreed. I mean, I can't speak for everyone, but it is possible to laugh at and ridicule this vulgar display. It's not like we're all banging away at our keyboards with steam shooting out our ears.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 4:53 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

The core videos for this post seem to have been removed. Are there mirrors?
posted by One Hand Slowclapping at 6:19 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

Oh my. It's so breathtakingly earnest in it's social tone-deafness.
posted by Faintdreams at 6:31 AM on January 5, 2015

Joh,

I was thinking the same thing, that this video seems like something out of The Peripheral. I guess the shitty future is already now.
posted by Sangermaine at 7:21 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

The more I think about this ad, the more I remember similar marketing strategies in the US during the Reagan Era. Directed at young urban professionals, with the constant reinforcement of "live the good life, you earned it, fuck the haters, yes you can have it all" and so forth, there was the same sentiment of the idea of some John Galt-like figure who fought the world, built his life up with absolutely no help from anyone at all seriously no one helped me, and came out on top ready to spike the football of success on the face of jealous mediocrity. Or some such mixed metaphor.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:41 AM on January 5, 2015 [3 favorites]

So that's where the boss from the IT Crowd lives.
posted by jetsetsc at 7:47 AM on January 5, 2015

The daily telegraph copy worked for me. Get it while it's hot.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:52 AM on January 5, 2015

Metafilter: Flat-toned, void affect, social cancer in a suit.

Hey! I'm not wearing a suit!
posted by randomkeystrike at 8:26 AM on January 5, 2015

Telegraph video still works for me as well.

It's like someone watched American Psycho and leached it of any context, subtext, or irony. Basically, Mary Harron removed from the equation completely.
posted by blucevalo at 8:43 AM on January 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Telegraph Link? The Hackney Heroine one?
posted by trif at 9:01 AM on January 5, 2015

Wanker tanks

Or as @drgitlin likes to call them: yuppie battery farms.
posted by evoque at 9:12 AM on January 5, 2015

Metafilter: Flat-toned, void affect, social cancer in a suit.

Hey! I'm not wearing a suit!

I'm not even wearing pants! But then again that's established Metafilter dress code.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 9:19 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

> Here are the four penthouse apartments that Redrow appear to be trying to flog in their video

Those are some odd floor plans. You have to go through the laundry room to get to the guest bathroom. And so many toilets!
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:44 AM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

blucevalo: "It's like someone watched American Psycho and leached it of any context, subtext, or irony. Basically, Mary Harron removed from the equation completely."

Yeah, um, have you read the book? Because it's not really meant to be taken seriously either.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 9:50 AM on January 5, 2015

This link still works for me.
posted by funkiwan at 11:26 AM on January 5, 2015

Pearl-clutching implies horror or shock. I think what most of us are feeling here is akin to a snort of disdain. And then a sort of fascination for the depth of cluelessness it takes to create an ad that portrays your ideal client using serial killer/movie villain imagery.

But then I start to wonder; maybe the creatives who put this together did it on purpose and felt a dark glee when the clueless client went along. I would like that to be true.
posted by emjaybee at 12:09 PM on January 5, 2015 [1 favorite]

But then I start to wonder; maybe the creatives who put this together did it on purpose and felt a dark glee when the clueless client went along. I would like that to be true.

A corollary to Poe's Law: any scathing caricature of sociopathically soulless corporate predator alpha-dog yuppie wankers is going to also function as an aspirational statement for those who identify as such. Because, you know, lack of empathy.
posted by acb at 2:35 PM on January 5, 2015 [2 favorites]

Matt has got the soldering iron out and welded the (currently working) Telegraph embedded video into the post. Thanks!
posted by Wordshore at 3:23 PM on January 5, 2015

Wow, the soldering iron? I hope he checked the driver vacuum tubes to make sure the new link will keep working :-)
posted by localroger at 4:06 PM on January 5, 2015

American Psycho Recut.
posted by Wordshore at 9:59 PM on January 5, 2015

Am I the only one who noticed that one short scene has the dude sitting in Huey Newton's chair?

WTF
posted by MeanwhileBackAtTheRanch at 11:25 PM on January 5, 2015

The Guardian have a piece on the video that's an interesting read, and another posh London property video.
posted by Wordshore at 4:53 AM on January 6, 2015

From that Guardian piece: as if JG Ballard had been put in charge of the opening titles to the Apprentice.

OOOOOOhhh burn.
posted by localroger at 6:10 AM on January 6, 2015 [2 favorites]

More news, of the culture from that part of England today.
posted by Wordshore at 8:53 AM on January 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

But then I start to wonder; maybe the creatives who put this together did it on purpose and felt a dark gleeBut then I start to wonder; maybe the creatives who put this together did it on purpose and felt a dark glee when the clueless client went along. I would like that to be true. when the clueless client went along. I would like that to be true.

The treatment with the piano and voiceover remind me of this remix of James Yorkston's "Woozy with Cider". Although I am sure that actual cider drinkers would be firmly directed towards the poor door at one commercial.
posted by rongorongo at 9:17 AM on January 6, 2015

I think they should air this classic SNL Commercial parody in it's place.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:09 AM on January 6, 2015 [1 favorite]

The Guardian have a piece on the video that's an interesting read, and another posh London property video.

Is it just me, or does One Blackfriars look like a glittery, standing, space-age sarcophagus?
posted by mochapickle at 12:32 PM on January 6, 2015

Breakfast.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 6:50 AM on January 8, 2015

I didn't see it on first viewing! Or second. Or third. (I love these videos.)

Maybe the baby is there to distract you from noticing the cars are moving backwards?
posted by mochapickle at 8:18 AM on January 8, 2015