Is Charlie Brown the Worst Manager Ever?

March 4, 2015 8:33 AM

Is Charlie Brown the Worst Manager Ever? Without box scores, we can’t measure Brown based on Pythag, and without statistics, we can’t even try to measure the team’s performance against its WAR, as Adam Darowski once suggested. We don’t even have an idea of the league’s playing environment, given that we know less about Brown’s rivals than even his own team. (It would seem, based on the pitches he’s seen to swing through, that most pitchers can throw harder than the batters can handle.) We can only broadly guess at Brown’s skills or habits as a tactician based on what little we know. Please consider the following science inexact. (via SpoFi)
posted by Ufez Jones (23 comments total)

The thing with Charlie Brown is that he wears all the hats -- he is the starting pitcher, manager, general manager, talent scout, the whole shebang. The article does point out the talent dearth and, well, he can't do much about that given who lives in his neighborhood, so he's not necessarily the Ruben Amaro Jr. of the sandlot.

At one point, he does attempt to make a trade with Peppermint Patty (reprint in link), recognizing that his team as-is is hopeless and it's time to blow it up. He trades Snoopy for five players, which would've dramatically improved things if those players hadn't invoked their no-trade clauses, so to speak.

Note that Charlie was among the first sandlot managers in his area to consider Hispanic players for his team. Half-Hispanic, half-Swedish, to be precise, but it was still a groundbreaking tryout.

Alas, his managerial career will always be tarnished by a 1973 gambling scandal.
posted by delfin at 8:53 AM on March 4, 2015 [13 favorites]

gambling scandal
Whatever happened to Rerun, anyway? Killed in a bicycle accident?
posted by thelonius at 8:55 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

He didn't go anywhere. For example.
posted by Dr-Baa at 9:02 AM on March 4, 2015

Nah. Bobby Valentine is still worse.
posted by COD at 9:02 AM on March 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

Is Charlie Brown a terrible manager? Yes. He’s no great tactician and no great leader, and his team’s record would make the Cleveland Spiders grateful. His blindness toward his own lack of talent, and the fact that he allows himself to overshadow Linus, his second-best player, are nearly villainous. He provides zero inspiration and often loses crucial games single-handedly. There’s no question he loves the game and works hard, but his refusal to innovate or even to mix things up is criminal on a losing ballclub. He really does deserve the criticism so often lobbed at him by his players.

Man, I want to send this guy a case of champagne. This is beautiful.

I bet Schulz would have gotten a charge out of it, too.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 9:06 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

Also, that last strip linked in the article is a direct peek into my brain.
posted by the phlegmatic king at 9:10 AM on March 4, 2015 [5 favorites]

I also have to take exception to the analysis that Linus belongs in the outfield. Given the hopelessness of his outfielders, I can't blame Charlie for writing off anything hit out there, and Linus in center would help but can't do much for balls to left or right. He has two players with any defensive abilities whatsoever -- Snoopy and Linus -- and therefore concentrates that up the middle where they're most likely to generate some outs and maybe turn an occasional double play to end an inning. Given Charlie's propensity for generating line drives up the middle, a deft glove around second base is even more of a good idea.

Besides, if you put Linus in the outfield, who plays second -- Lucy? Frieda? Violet? Might as well give Woodstock a glove.
posted by delfin at 9:15 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

Seems like they're missing the whole point of Charlie Brown and Peanutsworld by analyzing it all to death, even in a meta-ironic way. Talk about buzzkill.
posted by blucevalo at 9:18 AM on March 4, 2015

Previously!

They've won at least 15 games and played for the championship a couple times (and lost obviously!) he must be doing something right.
posted by davros42 at 9:21 AM on March 4, 2015

blucevalo: "Seems like they're missing the whole point of Charlie Brown and Peanutsworld by analyzing it all to death, even in a meta-ironic way. Talk about buzzkill."

No one can enjoy media except in the way I approve.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:28 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

"meta-ironic" would be irony about irony, not about baseball or comics
posted by thelonius at 9:36 AM on March 4, 2015

No one can enjoy media except in the way I approve.

No one can criticize media except in the way I approve.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:45 AM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

Seems like they're missing the whole point of Charlie Brown and Peanutsworld by analyzing it all to death, even in a meta-ironic way.

On the contrary, I think "analyzing it all to death" is part-and-parcel with the overall themes of Peanuts, which was basically the world's most popular Freudian comic strip.

Five cents, please.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:46 AM on March 4, 2015 [15 favorites]

No one can enjoy criticizing media except in the way I approve.
posted by delfin at 9:46 AM on March 4, 2015

Charlie Brown is a good guy until you read his blog posts arguing why stats have no place in baseball.
posted by drezdn at 9:49 AM on March 4, 2015 [6 favorites]

Oh man, I hadn't seen the thread that davros42 linked, and the link on that thread is broken, but this is awesome!

Frank Miller's Shulz City: That Yellow-Shirted Such-and-Such (and part 2)
posted by bjrubble at 9:56 AM on March 4, 2015

Metafilter: You are not enjoying metafilter in a way I approve
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 10:13 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

If you like grim-and-gritty Peanuts drama -- along with just about every other notable comic strip character ever -- you can't go wrong with Weapon Brown. (Occasional NSFW due to blood, gore, sex, death, language, and other good things in life.)
posted by delfin at 10:15 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

After reading the article, it doesn't strike me as over-analysis or meta-whatever. Whoever wrote this genuinely likes (loves?) Peanuts and its characters. He shows respect by treating it as if the games were actually played by real people in a real place. Using the rich veins of humor and melancholy that run though these comics as a guide, the author crafted some of his own, within the context of sports writing. And that's all there is to it.

Good grief.
posted by KHAAAN! at 10:43 AM on March 4, 2015 [2 favorites]

I also have to take exception to the analysis that Linus belongs in the outfield. Given the hopelessness of his outfielders, I can't blame Charlie for writing off anything hit out there, and Linus in center would help but can't do much for balls to left or right. He has two players with any defensive abilities whatsoever -- Snoopy and Linus -- and therefore concentrates that up the middle where they're most likely to generate some outs and maybe turn an occasional double play to end an inning. Given Charlie's propensity for generating line drives up the middle, a deft glove around second base is even more of a good idea.

Besides, if you put Linus in the outfield, who plays second -- Lucy?

Lucy belongs in the infield.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:22 PM on March 4, 2015 [3 favorites]

Isn't Charlie Brown the worst everything ever? I thought that was the whole point of Charlie Brown.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:31 PM on March 4, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm upside down.
posted by mullacc at 2:36 PM on March 4, 2015

How many strips did the author have to find and read in order to create the research for this piece?
posted by Apocryphon at 9:35 PM on March 4, 2015