Too Many Crooks
March 20, 2015 6:30 AM Subscribe
Amid a historically crowded pool of candidates exploring bids in the 2016 presidential elections, one might say that there are..... Too Many Cooks.
It loses a lot of oomph without the killing.
posted by Renoroc at 6:42 AM on March 20, 2015 [11 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 6:42 AM on March 20, 2015 [11 favorites]
I never knew what tiny little chicken legs John Kerry has. How did we ever consider him for the highest office?
posted by backseatpilot at 6:43 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by backseatpilot at 6:43 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Oh man someone stop me because I can't.
posted by johnnydummkopf at 6:47 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by johnnydummkopf at 6:47 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I know a lot of people are sick of politics, but my little black heart loves presidential election season.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:48 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:48 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Aren't clown cars supposed to be packed to overflowing?
posted by Thorzdad at 6:49 AM on March 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:49 AM on March 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
One of these candidates is an axe murdering psychopath. We'll find out after the election.
posted by wotsac at 6:49 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by wotsac at 6:49 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
One of these candidates is an axe murdering psychopath. We'll find out after the election.
Wait, only *one*? Are they sure?
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 6:52 AM on March 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Wait, only *one*? Are they sure?
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 6:52 AM on March 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
My wife and I just did a weekend binge on the first season of The Newsroom. That debate episode was delicious, especially with the outtakes from an actual Republican "debate" from that election.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:53 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Thorzdad at 6:53 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I read that as too many crooks.
posted by vicx at 6:54 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by vicx at 6:54 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Uh.... Why was Barack Obama in the Too Many Cooks video?
posted by Sys Rq at 7:03 AM on March 20, 2015
posted by Sys Rq at 7:03 AM on March 20, 2015
Same here, Vicx. Same here.
posted by skittlekicks at 7:05 AM on March 20, 2015
posted by skittlekicks at 7:05 AM on March 20, 2015
Uh.... Why was Barack Obama in the Too Many Cooks video?
Well, you're likely going to see him on the campaign trail with somebody, so why not.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:06 AM on March 20, 2015
Well, you're likely going to see him on the campaign trail with somebody, so why not.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:06 AM on March 20, 2015
I read that as too many crooks.
Which is indeed the title of this post.
posted by schmod at 7:09 AM on March 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
Which is indeed the title of this post.
posted by schmod at 7:09 AM on March 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
This is it.
This is the darkest timeline.
posted by The Whelk at 7:34 AM on March 20, 2015 [10 favorites]
This is the darkest timeline.
posted by The Whelk at 7:34 AM on March 20, 2015 [10 favorites]
CNN, as usual, with its finger on the pulse of the cutting edge of the zeitgeist of what the kids were into six months ago.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:39 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by tonycpsu at 7:39 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
GOD SHUT UP ABOUT THE 2016 ELECTIONS GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (wham) (wham) (wham) (wham) (wham) (wham) (wham) (wham) *passes out*
posted by eriko at 7:45 AM on March 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by eriko at 7:45 AM on March 20, 2015 [7 favorites]
CNN, as usual, with its finger on the pulse of the cutting edge of the zeitgeist of what the kids were into six months ago.
Sounds about right: if the zeitgeist slashed its wrists, CNN would report that people are feeling very warm and red these days.
posted by clockzero at 7:50 AM on March 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Sounds about right: if the zeitgeist slashed its wrists, CNN would report that people are feeling very warm and red these days.
posted by clockzero at 7:50 AM on March 20, 2015 [4 favorites]
Whelp, Demon Sheep has my vote.
posted by GameDesignerBen at 7:51 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by GameDesignerBen at 7:51 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Yes, I'm from Michigan. And, yes, if Rick Snyder were to gain the office of POTUS, I would leave the country....
posted by HuronBob at 7:55 AM on March 20, 2015
posted by HuronBob at 7:55 AM on March 20, 2015
Stare into the soulles, undead replicant eyes of the Republican candidate pool of white men and women plus Bobby Jindal.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by MartinWisse at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
Oh man, if we could just get a single shot of Vermin Supreme with a machete, chasing a pants-wettingly terrified Cruz past powered-down Romneybots and Randroids and into a closet...
posted by FatherDagon at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by FatherDagon at 8:02 AM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
With that many candidates, they'd have to stack up the podiums at the debates, Hollywood Squares-style!
...I just realized that replacing the debates with an episode of Hollywood Squares might actually be the parties' plan.
posted by Inkslinger at 8:23 AM on March 20, 2015
...I just realized that replacing the debates with an episode of Hollywood Squares might actually be the parties' plan.
posted by Inkslinger at 8:23 AM on March 20, 2015
As a desperate attempt by a flailing media giant to capitalize too late on a viral phenomenon, it sucks.
As a piece of art that comments on how the U.S. Presidential selection process is both creepy and inane to a dangerous degree, not so bad.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:25 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
As a piece of art that comments on how the U.S. Presidential selection process is both creepy and inane to a dangerous degree, not so bad.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:25 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
what the kids were into
zeitgeist
viral phenomenon
And here it is, the moment when I realize I've fallen completely off of the internet hype train for good and all. Even if I didn't watch or participate in memes of days past, I had at least heard of them, but I have no fucking clue in the world what you guys are even talking about, here.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:29 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
zeitgeist
viral phenomenon
And here it is, the moment when I realize I've fallen completely off of the internet hype train for good and all. Even if I didn't watch or participate in memes of days past, I had at least heard of them, but I have no fucking clue in the world what you guys are even talking about, here.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:29 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Ah man, I'd nearly forgotten the pure delight of Demon Sheep.
posted by penduluum at 8:40 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by penduluum at 8:40 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Never use a messy recipee, the cake will end up craaaay-zee.
posted by Poldo at 9:01 AM on March 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Poldo at 9:01 AM on March 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
I couldn't make it past Rick Perry. Terrifying.
To force these thoughts from my head: I'm choosing to be encouraged by Chuy Garcia's chances in the Chicago runoff. I'm told it would bode well for the chances of someone like Elizabeth Warren. Once again, I'm choosing to believe that for now.
posted by cmoj at 9:03 AM on March 20, 2015
To force these thoughts from my head: I'm choosing to be encouraged by Chuy Garcia's chances in the Chicago runoff. I'm told it would bode well for the chances of someone like Elizabeth Warren. Once again, I'm choosing to believe that for now.
posted by cmoj at 9:03 AM on March 20, 2015
So who wants to bet someone at FOX news will make something out of the fact that Sarah Palin shows up at the point of the first machete attack in the original video?
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:09 AM on March 20, 2015
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:09 AM on March 20, 2015
This is, apparently, a CNN-produced video.
Eight years ago, I had to write dozens of emails, leave daily voice mails, and otherwise plead my case with dozens of party hacks and other various sociopaths to get RNC and DNC media credentials for Wonkette, because it was a lowly "satirical blog." And now goddamned CNN is clumsily recycling "Internet memes"—actually a big-budget production created by another cable network, in this case—and people are eating it up, because who cares.
This is the opposite of cultural progress.
posted by kenlayne at 9:28 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
Eight years ago, I had to write dozens of emails, leave daily voice mails, and otherwise plead my case with dozens of party hacks and other various sociopaths to get RNC and DNC media credentials for Wonkette, because it was a lowly "satirical blog." And now goddamned CNN is clumsily recycling "Internet memes"—actually a big-budget production created by another cable network, in this case—and people are eating it up, because who cares.
This is the opposite of cultural progress.
posted by kenlayne at 9:28 AM on March 20, 2015 [5 favorites]
FYI, that demon sheep is from a real political attack ad from "Carly for California", which has been discussed here previously.
posted by ymgve at 10:00 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ymgve at 10:00 AM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Worth noting that CNN has the same parent company as Adult Swim, originator of "Too Many Cooks". It's synergy, folks. (Next, Conan O'Brien anchoring a debate, then FoxNews political coverage features its networks' top fictional characters: Bob Belcher, Ichabod Crane, Sterling Archer and Bill O'Reilly)
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:19 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:19 PM on March 20, 2015 [2 favorites]
I'd pay to see political coverage by Bob Belcher, Ichabod Crane, Sterling Archer, and Bill O'Reilly.
posted by MsVader at 12:31 PM on March 20, 2015
posted by MsVader at 12:31 PM on March 20, 2015
Joe Biden looked like he fit into the original sit-com parody perfectly
Also, holy hell Rick Snyder is scarier then any axe-wielding serial killer.
posted by The Whelk at 12:46 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Also, holy hell Rick Snyder is scarier then any axe-wielding serial killer.
posted by The Whelk at 12:46 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
wotsac: "One of these candidates is an axe murdering psychopath. We'll find out after the election."
I flip back to the video after reading this comment and saw Ron Paul.
posted by symbioid at 12:47 PM on March 20, 2015
I flip back to the video after reading this comment and saw Ron Paul.
posted by symbioid at 12:47 PM on March 20, 2015
But you can definitely have too many Dick Cheneys....
posted by symbioid at 12:48 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by symbioid at 12:48 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
Speaking of dicks: here's an ear worm cure (or at least a replacement): Sloane vids Star Trek (JJ)
posted by Jesse the K at 1:49 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Jesse the K at 1:49 PM on March 20, 2015 [1 favorite]
I'd pay to see political coverage by Bob Belcher, Ichabod Crane, Sterling Archer, and Bill O'Reilly.
It would be worth the whole thing just to hear H. Jon Benjamin get into furious arguments with himself in very slightly different tones of voice.
posted by eykal at 6:17 AM on March 21, 2015
It would be worth the whole thing just to hear H. Jon Benjamin get into furious arguments with himself in very slightly different tones of voice.
posted by eykal at 6:17 AM on March 21, 2015
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posted by beowulf573 at 6:41 AM on March 20, 2015 [11 favorites]